I know that I've been gone for awhile. I started college and it got busy and then I got married and all I can say about that is that being a military wife is very stressful and busy. So when I wrote this chapter I was listening to Taylor Swift – The way I loved you. I'm very sorry about my absence. This chapter has some adult themes, so you have been warned.

I walked slowly to my room deep in thought. Trying to avoid HIM wasn't working because my traitorous heart still conspired with my brain to torture me with memories of something I could no longer have. Adrian was everything I needed. He was reliable. He had done so many things for me; he had never hidden his desire for me. But that was it, desire and lust. More than likely I was just a challenge for him, a challenge that took so long to conquer; he fell in love with the chase. But at least he had a form of love for me. His love would never be as soul consuming as Dimitri's but it was something. Was it fair of me to exploit his heart just so I would be wanted? I didn't think so. As it was, I couldn't find a way to break it off without crushing him. I'd never love him like I had Dimitri, but I loved him none-the-less.

Sighing inwardly, I looked up, noticing how I had automatically made my way to the hall I stayed in. Nobody was in the corridor so I quietly opened my door, throwing my bag to the side as I walked in. As I shut the door, I started peeling my sweaty clothing off me. Thoughts swam so many circles in my head; I didn't notice the form on my bed until I was pretty much naked. A slight noise made me aware of his presence. I jumped and turned to find Adrian sitting on my bed. I couldn't help but think that my bed had gotten more action in a matter of days than it had in the entire time I'd had it. Grabbing my robe off the floor, I slipped it on quickly.

"Don't get dressed on my account, in fact I was enjoying your little floor show"He said smiling.

I plastered a smile on my face, trying hard not to remember that Dimitri had been in his place not so long ago.

"Too bad I didn't know you were there, I would've made it exciting" I joked, trying to make the uncomfortable feeling I had go away. He was my boyfriend; surely he was entitled to seeing me naked. If Dimitri was there in his place, I would've made no move to cover up.

His grin widened "you can make it exciting now" he said, his voice husky.

I stiffened; sex with Adrian never crossed my mind. Only being with Dimitri, I was bound to make comparisons between the two. I honestly did NOT need any more comparisons. Still he had waited a long time, taken great care of me, and been there for me through everything. Why shouldn't I? Comparisons were being made even without conscious thought; keeping Adrian waiting wouldn't do anyone any good. Maybe I'd get over Dimitri if I did. The love for Adrian was there, just the spark was missing.

I kept the robe untied, showing my bra and panties as I slowly walked up to him. I lifted my leg and set my foot down right beside him. Leaning down, I kissed my cheek before whispering in his ear. "Can I now?"

He gulped, dragging his eyes from my cleavage to watch my face. Looking at me for a moment, he nodded. I smiled and moved to straddle him, my robe flung behind me and only hanging on my shoulders. I grinded against his groin, feeling him get harder.

"Like this?" I asked innocently

He didn't answer; instead he gripped my jaw and brought my mouth down upon his. He kissed me hungrily, his tongue taking full advantage. I tried desperately to forget that there was no emotion for me in this. His hands made their way up my back to fiddle with my bra clasp. Quickly removing my bra, and robe in the process, his fingers nimbly kneaded my breasts. I moaned automatically, surprising myself. My heart protested, it only wanted Dimitri, but my brain apparently wasn't on the same page. I remembered every detail from the night in the cabin, this was nowhere close. But I hadn't been touched like that in a long time; I could blame the moan on that right?

He moved until I was beneath him. He was kissing my neck, traveling south. Frantic, I noticed his missing shirt, and his shoes were kicked off. Oh no, this was moving faster than I planned. Dimitri was still in my head, I didn't wasn't to sleep with Adrian while thinking of Dimitri. I had counted on more time, but Adrian wasn't wasting any. His kisses had traveled to my navel, nuzzling softly; he kissed me through my underwear. My head was thrown back in anything but pleasure. NO, NO, NO! Not like this! Adrian made his way back up to my lips. I looked down and noticed his lack of pants. I opened my mouth to protest, to make him stop but he devoured my words with his kiss. Something inside me snapped and I struggled against him.

"Adrian, stop" I said around his lips.

He stiffened and sat up, his green eyes flitting between worried and irritated.

"I… Cant" I couldn't come up with anything better than that? Stupid Rose.

He stared at me blankly "You can't?" his voice unbelieving. He was clearly annoyed "Dammit Rose! Why get a guy all hot and bothered if you're not going to do anything about it?"

I bowed my head, he had a point. "I just can't Adrian, you've understood in the past, I need your understanding now" I pleaded with him.

He moved to the edge of the bed and ran a hand through his hair forcefully. "You made the move Rose! You started this. You made me believe that you were ready to put Belikov in the past and move forward with this. I've waited for you, I've been patient. I've dealt with your obsession with him. Hell! I paid for you to save him! How much can you expect a man to take? When am I going to be enough for you?"

He had every right to be upset with me but his words hurt. "What do you want me to do?! Have sex with you when I'm obviously not ready? I can't do that! That would ruin this relationship and you know it" I exclaimed

His face hardened "You're already ruining this relationship" He said, pulling on his pants.

I stared for a moment before answering. "Why? Because I won't sleep with you?" I practically yelled.

He began rummaging for his shirt. Finally finding it, he shrugged it on. He looked directly into my eyes "Wow, I can't believe that's really what you think! How about the fact that you're still psychotically in love with a man who has no feelings for you at all" He said quietly, his voice like ice. He quickly pulled on his shoes and made a bee line for the door.

I jumped out of bed and rapidly pulled on my robe, securing it close. He grasped the door handle "Adrian wait" I said before he threw the door open, exposing somebody with their hand poised to knock. Adrian sneered and his eyes went ice cold.

"Of course" He muttered before stomping off.

I looked after him, pain in my chest. I turned my gaze upon the figure. I stared at him and he stared at me.

"Dimitri" I whispered.

OK so it wasn't as long as I wanted but I had to end this chapter. I couldn't have TOO much excitement in one chapter. Again I'm sorry it took so long. I would like to get to 41 reviews. I know it's not fair to ask this but I need feedback since it's been so long since I uploaded anything. I can take criticism if it's CONSTRUCTIVE. Thank you to all my fans.