Chapter 119

=0=A bit later in the Med Bay

He sorted out instruments, concentrating on the task at hand when he felt rather than saw the gaze of someone upon him. Ratchet glanced up then jumped and shouted as tools went flying. Sitting at eye level perched on two big black servos a little sparkling watched with unblinking blue optics as his carrier flew apart. The servos were attached to black burly arms that disappeared into the doorway. The sparkling sat on the servos hovering at 15 feet in the air as if floating.

"What the frag?" Ratchet cried out with his servos on hips. "Ironhide?"

A big grinning face peered around the corner of the doorway looking at Ratchet alongside a small slightly confused sparkling. "Hi, Ratchet. Orion wanted to say hi."

"Hovering him at eye level without a warning is not hello," Ratchet said taking his infant with a smile. "I nearly drew down on you. It could've been goodbye." He smiled at the sparkling, hugging and kissing him, then cuddling him against his cheek. He glanced at the big swaggering goof ball leaning against the doorjamb with a smirk on his face.

"Tell me he isn't the cutest sparkling you ever saw," Ironhide said, taking him back to tuck him into the crook of his arm.

"Won't get an argument from me," Ratchet said. "What have you two been doing? Guarding us from the slaggers?"

"Language, Ratchet," Ironhide said as he walked over to sit in Ratchet's chair. He sat the infant on Ratchet's desk. He was wobbly so Ironhide steadied him with his servos. "We've been practicing our stealth moves."

"Hovering him at eye level around the corner of doors is a stealth move?" Ratchet asked as he sat in a chair across from them.

"One of the better ones. We just made it up," Ironhide said. "This sparkling has skills."

Ratchet chuckled. "I see that he has. Did you wash your servos?"

Ironhide frowned. "He's been doing that all morning. Sucks on my digits and any place else he can reach. What's that all about, Ratchet?"

"I don't know. I think they do that for comfort. Did you feed him?"

"I did."

"Did you empty his little bottom?"

"I did."

"Feed him again, Ironhide. He might be needing more."

[Opens panel, tugs cord] "Okay, spud, open up." [tap, tap, tap]

[Pause]

"Try it again." [grin] "I love his little frown." [medico in heaven]

[Tap, tap, tap] "Open up."

[Little blue optics narrow] "Chew, chew. Splut."

[Pause]

[tap, tap, tap] "Chew, chewchewchew. Splut."

"I don't think he's hungry, Ironhide."

"But he's chewing on me. It feels … uh, odd."

[Pause]

"Did you wash your servos?"

"Not lately."

"Ironhide, you don't want that sparkling chewing on something that might have gun oil on it or whatever slag you stuck your mitts in?"

"Language, Ratchet."

"I'll give you language. Go wash your servos or … wait a minute."

[Walk, walk, walk. Pause. Rummage. FIND!] "I found this in the duffel from Autobot City. A femme gave it to me and told me I'd probably need it." [Sits. Holds out object. Both stare. Sparkling stares.]

"What is it?"

"You put it in their mouth and they suck on it. Gives them comfort or something. ANDI might add it will lower the level of toxic waste he has in his mouth at any one time."

"What do you do with it?"

"You put it in their mouth and they suck on it."

[Take, tap, tap, tap] "SUCK!"

[Pause]

"Suck, suck, suck. Splut. Pllf."

"Wow. He really doesn't like it, Ratchet."

"Maybe it doesn't taste good. Stick it in your armpit, Ironhide, then give it to him."

[piercing optic] "I'll have you know we both went to the wash racks this morning."

"AND YOU DIDN'T GET ME?"

"We were bonding."

"Bonding, my aft. Ironhide! Get me when he does his first stuff or I'll beat you with a hammer!"

"See? Your carrier is a loon."

Tiny blue optics look up at father, then over at his other father, then back at the goofy dad, over at mad father, goofy father, mad, goofy. Then tiny blue optics close as sparkling wobbles from dizziness.

"Try it again. He looks in a weakened condition."

"So we exploit him when he's most vulnerable? What kind of carrier are you?"

"The best kind. One only has to look at you to know I'm slaggin' good at raising sparklings."

"Ha-ha. And language."

"Put it in his mouth, Ironhide."

[Tap, tap, tap] "Suck."

They both watch breathless.

He watches them warily.

"Suck. Suck."

"It looks good, Ratchet."

"Splut."

[Pause]

"I think he hates me."

"You big sparkling. He's only five orns old. How can he like or dislike anything?"

[tap, tap, tap] "Suck. Sucksucksuck."

[Pause]

"Sucksucksuck." [grin]

"He likes it."

"Good, Ironhide. You'll be glad some night when he won't sleep and just needs comfort and I'll be glad I won't have to use Clorox on his little pie hole because he sucked on your thumb and got something deadly in his mouth."

"I wash."

[Piercing optic.]

"Most of the time."

"Uh-huh."

"We visited Uncle Optimus."

"You did? How did that go?"

"He really likes sparklings but he gets nervous when Prowl holds him. Even with four mechs of his own, Prowl likes sparklings and gets That Look™."

"What Look?"

"The one you got."

"What Look did I get, Ironhide?" [Fixes Only One with That Look™]

"The one that said, 'I need a sparkling and I don't care who I kill,' the one that makes grown mechs cry."

"Awww. Did I make you cry?" [grin]

"You did." [Grins at sparkling] "Your old carrier made me cry."

Tiny blue optics regard him. [grin]

"He grinned at me."

"He can't believe his old pa is such a doofus."

"Doofus, another word for Chaos Bringer." (Grins at son. Son grins back.)

[Pause]

"Actually, Ironhide, I think you're right." [Snort]

[Pause]

"Let me rephrase that."

"How are the younglings?"

"They're good. No one goes outside until further notice."

"I want to be there, Ironhide, when these people are arrested."

"You and me both, Ratchet."

"He needs his nap now, Ironhide. I left his little blankie in the bed in the cabin."

"Blankie?"

"Blankie. Oh, and the thing in his mouth? It's called a binky."

[Pause]

"Our little mech has a binky ... and a blankie?"

[grin] "Yes, Ironhide. Unless that's not macho enough for you."

"I'm not going there with you, Ratchet. I usually end up with a crow bar across the kisser."

"I won't swing for your kisser. Uh, what about a little kissie-kissie later."

"I'm supposed to be on duty for the younglings. How can I go and have some kissie-kissie with you, Ratch?"

"They take naps, too. Don't they? You're the one in charge of them. You do know that makes you a glorified babysitter."

"I don't think the average babysitter carries cannons, Ratchet."

"True, but I don't think the average babysitter is a chaos bringer either."

"No," Ironhide said rising with a smug look on his face. "I'm probably the only chaos bringing babysitter on planet Earth."

"You probably are. I don't think even google will tell us otherwise."

He grinned as he tucked his sparkling into the crook of his arm. "Indubitably."

Ratchet grinned. "Where are you going now?"

"I'm going to show him the armory and see what his preferences are for ordinance."

"Ah, another bonding venture."

"Sure," he said, pausing by the door. "If you want us, we'll be in the grenade aisle." He walked out the door with his sparkling.

Ratchet smiled as they left. "Anyone else but me would slap your aft for that, Ironhide. You don't know how good ya got it, you slagger," he said, rising to walk back to the counter.

=0=In the corridor

"There he is! So cute!… what's that in his mouth?"

"That's his … uh, his binky."

"Binky?" [grin]

"Yeah. Binky." [frown]

"Oh." [smirk]

Ironhide watched the mech walk away, his frown deepening even more. Looking down at his little sparkling, his binky moving as he sucked on it, his tiny blue optics never leaving his dad's face, he grinned. "It may be a binky but you suck it like a champion. Those slaggers don't know what they're thinking."

"LANGUAGE, IRONHIDE!"

He turned around to see Ratchet poking his helm out of the Med Bay, grinning like a banshee. He grinned back then walked toward the armory and the 'big boy toys'.