In the Blink of An Eye
By LizD
Winter 2011
Chapter 4
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"I'm sorry," Booth muttered into Hannah's hair. "I know this was a big day for you." Hannah was working on a big story, and she was to present it to her editor that day to get authorization to pursue it.
"It's not your fault."
"How did it go?"
"Rejected," she shrugged. She didn't like her editor for the Washington beat. The overseas editor trusted her instincts and gave her freer range to pursue stories that Hannah thought were important; sometimes it panned out, sometimes it didn't. She had spent the last two hours on the phone with her old editor discussing what was going on overseas. Hannah had to admit that her heart was just not into Washington Politics. "I'm not giving up," she assured him.
"I didn't expect that you would." He kissed her.
"So, are you ready to come home?"
There was a part of Booth that wanted nothing more than to lose his self and the events of that day in arms of Hannah. The world faded away when they were together in bed. It was a private haven safe from the troubles of the world. He reached up and touched her face, combed his fingers back through her hair. "I need to stay here," he said softly. "For Parker," he explained.
Hannah looked momentarily confused. "Is he OK?"
"He seems to be holding up, but he's eleven and he just lost his mother."
Hannah nodded but she really didn't understand. She had been on her own so long she had forgotten what it was like to be dependent on someone like a parent. Her parents were journalists and were always gone chasing some story or other. Hannah had been left with aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, strangers from the time she was a baby. By the time she was in high school she was essentially living on her own. When they were home she was the center of their world, but they weren't home that much. "How are you holding up?"
"Better now." He pulled her back into an embrace.
"I can't stay, Seeley," she told him. "We have wheels up at O'Dark-Thirty."
He released her. "Right, right ... you should go."
"Will you be OK?"
"I'm fine." He smiled at her.
"I'll call you tomorrow when we land."
"OK."
She kissed him. "I'm sorry you have to do this," she said sincerely. And she was sorry but she really wasn't appreciating the changes that were coming her way. "I wish I could help."
"I'm glad you came. Go get some sleep and call me when you can tomorrow."
"I should be back tomorrow night ... late," she said by way of consolation.
"I'll be here."
"Still?"
"Yeah."
Hannah didn't get it but she didn't have time to get clarification. If she was a sleep ten minutes after she got home she might squeeze in three hours before she had to get up and go again. "OK ... tomorrow." She kissed him again and jumped back into her car. With a wave and a smile, she was gone.
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Brennan was collecting her things when she remembered that she hadn't driven. She had no way to get home. She pulled out her phone to call a cab when Parker came out of his room.
"Dr Bones?" he called to her in a very tiny voice.
She put her phone back in her pocked. "Parker." She didn't know what to say or do. "Your father is just outside, shall I call him?"
"No, I just wanted to get a glass of juice."
"Ok, sure." Brennan went to the refrigerator and looked inside. Nothing looked like juice in there. Parker came around to help her. He pulled out a can of Orange Soda. "That's not juice," she said.
"Mom was supposed to go shopping yesterday."
Brennan's face washed with sadness. She was sure that there were a lot of things that Rebecca had left undone. She never expected to die. "I'm sorry, Parker," she said earnestly. He just nodded. He was about to open the soda but Brennan stopped him. "How about some water instead?"
He frowned and handed her back the soda. His mom never let him drink soda except on the weekends and never after he had already brushed his teeth. "Ok."
She got him the water. He turned to head back to his room. She followed. He climbed into bed but didn't lie down. "Dr. Bones, will you explain to me how my mother died?"
She wasn't sure what he was asking.
"Dad won't tell me or doesn't know, doesn't understand ... I mean I know she hit her head but I don't understand what happened."
Brennan came into the room. "You mean physically?"
"Yeah, you know all that stuff. I want to understand. I mean she hit her head yesterday and all she had was a headache. People don't die from headaches."
Sometimes people did die of headaches - well at least died with a headache. She sat down on the end of the bed. She could explain an epidural hematoma in scientific terms, but she needed to make it easy for Parker to understand. She called on all the advice she had been given when she was testifying. "Apparently when she fell, the injury to her head was severe enough to cause an epidural bleed. That is bleeding between the dura mater around the brain and the skull. Do you know what the dura mater is?" He shook his head. "It's a tough layer that surrounds the central nervous system and brain and carries blood from the brain toward the heart." She waited to see if he would question her, but he seemed to understand or at least accept it. "The bleeding causes a buildup of pressure inside the skull which puts pressure on the brain causing it to shift or lose blood supply. That caused the headache and eventually her death."
Parker nodded. "If she had gone to the hospital after she fell would she have been OK?"
"Possibly, but there is no way to be sure." She didn't want to explain about coma and possible permanent brain damage.
"What would the doctors have done?"
Brennan wasn't sure if this was the right topic for Parker, but since he was asking, she thought the truth was better than some platitude. "They would have drilled a hole in the skull to relieve the pressure."
He nodded. "Will they do an autopsy?"
Brennan was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable with his questions. She had some experience with working with the remains of her own mother and wouldn't wish that kind of pain on Parker. "I don't think so."
"If they do, will you do it?"
"No," she started to explain that there were other qualified pathologists but that it more than likely wouldn't be necessary.
"Would you do it? Please. I know you would do it right."
"I don't think it will be necessary, but -." She nodded to let him know that she would do it - rather the Jeffersonian would do it if one were necessary.
He nodded by way of a thank you. He thought for a moment, slid down under his covers. Brennan stood to walk out. "My mom wants to be cremated." Brennan accepted that Parker understood what he was talking about.
"There are many cultures that subscribe to cremation for burial. According to the Hindus, the body is a vessel to carry the soul. They believed that cremation was important for the spirit to detach from the body and encourage the spirit to pass into the other world. It is believed that it is only during cremation that the soul – or Atma – is able to join with the universal spirit – or Paramatma."
Parker seemed to consider that for a moment and then asked, "Will I get to see her before they do it?"
Brennan wasn't the right person to be asking these questions. "You will need to discuss that with Booth, your father."
"I went to Uncle John's funeral … there was an open casket."
"Your dad would know best about that," she deflected.
"Do you believe in Heaven, Dr. Bones?"
She knew Booth would not want her to discuss her attitude about religion with Parker and definitely not on the night that his mother died. "Do you?"
"Jerry Wallace says that when people die they are just dead ... that there's no heaven or hell."
"Who is Jerry Wallace?"
"Some bid dumb jerk in my school."
"What do you believe?" she asked.
"Church says there is a heaven. I think ... I think Mom is in heaven."
Brennan nodded. She gave him a smile. "Should probably get some sleep, if you can."
"Thanks, Bones." He said without his usual joie de vivre.
"Good night, Parker."
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Brennan turned off the lights in Parker's room and stepped into the hallway smack into Booth. He had been listening to their conversation outside the door. He smiled at her in an odd way. He reached out to take her hand and pressed it in his. "Just want to say good night to him." Was he asking her to wait?
She looked toward the kitchen then back at him. "Hannah?"
He shook his head.
Brennan didn't understand but nodded that she would wait for him.
Booth was in with Parker for a very short time. Parker was pretty tired. He probably wouldn't sleep through the night, but he would fall asleep in a few minutes now that the questions that had been plaguing him were answered. Booth rejoined Brennan in the kitchen. He picked up the bottle of scotch that had been shoved back on the counter out of the way. He held it up to her and she nodded back. He grabbed two glasses and they went to the living room. She sat on one end of the couch; he sat in the middle closer to her. She assumed it was so he could keep his voice down. He poured two glasses, handed one to her, touched her glass with his and drank. Brennan slowly brought the glass to her lips and tasted. She grimaced as the liquor when down. It was a subpar brand of scotch. Booth smiled. It was burning his throat too.
"Rebecca never was much of a drinker," he explained. He turned so he could face her. She did the same. He laid his arm across the back of the couch and let his hand rest lightly on her upper arm. It was a very intimate gesture she thought, but had no intention of pulling away.
"Hannah?" she asked again.
"Early flight to catch ... president is off to ... I don't know ... somewhere."
Brennan was confused why he wasn't more upset. The love of his life couldn't be bothered to change her busy schedule to help out in a family crisis and he didn't seem to notice or care. What could that mean that she wasn't there? Maybe Brennan didn't understand relationships at all - that was a better than even bet. She had no idea what lovers, significant others did in a situation like this. She had no idea what she was doing but every time he looked at her, she wanted to believe that he was grateful that she was there.
"Thank you, Bones." He squeezed her arm lightly. "Thank you for today, for being here." He looked back down the hall and then back at her. "For what you said to Parker."
"He asked me," she defended.
"I know," he smiled. "I heard it all. You were great."
"Will you let him see Rebecca?"
Booth took another drink. "I don't know. I guess I should see her first." He looked down at his hands. "I know what he is going through."
Brennan cocked her head. She wasn't going to ask, but if he wanted to talk about the loss of his mother, she was ready to listen.
"My mother died when I was young too – maybe thirteen or fourteen." He knew exactly how old he was. He was fifteen and Jared was eleven. It was about a year before his father left. He continued slowly remembering back to that time. "She died of cancer … I think it was ovarian. It was fast – about six months from the time she was diagnosed until she died. … She didn't go for treatments; I'm not sure it was even an option back then. … She was home until the end. She hated hospitals." He smiled weakly. "Could barely stand to stay with me when I broke my arm." He looked past Brennan to his past. "It was the first time I ever smelled death." He looked back at her. "To this day, every time we find a dead body and there is that smell, I'm brought back to my mom."
She put her hand on his arm.
"I'm OK – now I am. But I wasn't, not for years." He shook those memories away. "I knew it was coming. I mean she had talked to me about it. I was prepared – as much as a kid can be, but it still hurt like hell. I can imagine Parker will be going through the same thing – probably worse. This was so out of left field."
"He has you," she said implying that Parker would fare well because of Booth.
"I had Pops."
"He has you," she repeated.
"Yeah," he smiled at her. "He has a lot of people who love him." He squeezed Brennan's arm again. Then he dropped his head, closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.
"You should probably try to get some sleep," she said without moving.
"I'm really beat," he stated.
She pulled away from him. That seemed to upset him. "I need to call a cab."
"Cab?"
"Yeah, I came here with you."
He shook his head. "Sorry … that feels like days ago."
"It's alright." She pulled out her phone and called.
Booth put away the scotch.
The cab was there quickly. Booth walked her out. She reached out to touch his arm. "Call me if you need to … anytime."
"Thanks, Bones."
She turned to get in the cab. He stopped her with a touch and pulled her into a full body embrace. He buried his face in her hair and held on. She returned the embrace. She felt the tension in his body. He was trembling. "I can stay," she offered.
"You have done so much already," he mumbled into her neck. He squeezed her tightly and then released her. "You go home. Get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
She nodded and climbed into the cab.
"Be careful," he warned.
She waved and the cab took off.
Booth slowly turned and walked back toward the house. He wondered if he should have asked her to stay.
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A/N: So, Hannah ... what a _. At least Booth can count on Brennan. His eyes have to open sooner than later, right?