San felt sweat beading on her forehead as the footsteps reached the top of the stairs. She took her hand off of her heart and put it back on her sword, gripping it as if it might jump up and leave her. As she leaned against the wall, she heard the men talking in muffled voices outside of the door. Two sets of feet moved down the hall to the rooms where her brothers waited, and a cough meant that there was another waiting for her. The soldier must have made a motion, for San heard all three doors open at the same time. A shadow fell across the floor as a man entered slowly and looked around.
He made his way towards the center of the room and stopped. As San crept up behind him, she could feel his confusion at not finding any people there. Or anything at all, for that matter. But his thoughts were interrupted as San brought her sword around and cleanly sliced his throat. As he fell dead, she propped him up and slowly let him down so as not to make any noise. Disarming him of any weapons and useful items, she let his blood spill out onto the floor as she moved back to the entrance of the door. After a few seconds, she heard a thumping noise downstairs. The others who had entered the house would not be leaving it. Her father appeared moments later, and after checking to make sure that Zhao Tong and Zhao Guang had disposed of their officers, they made their way downstairs.
Zhao Yun peaked out the door and watched as the army of Wu made their way through the streets, ready to attack. What they didn't know was that the officers they were waiting for would not be reappearing. A glance towards the Guan house across the road told them so, and no one had to see the Zhang house to know that they were successful as well. San waited for a motion from her father before slowly moving out of the house. She and her brothers waited at the door as her father walked out into the middle of the street.
Suddenly, one of the Wu soldiers turned and noticed him standing there. "There's someone in the road!" he cried. The rest of the army didn't even get a chance to turn before a fire arrow flew from the Zhang house into the air. All of a sudden there was an explosion of green as the soldiers littered the streets and charged into the group of Wu soldiers. The tiny village was soon filled with chaos as both armies clashed in heated battle.
Zhao San could feel the call of battle flowing through her veins as she landed in the middle of the fighting. She charged and slashed at the red of Wu, killing all who stood in her way. Although she couldn't see them, she knew that Zhang Shao and Guan Ping were faring just as well as her. All she saw around her was a blur of red and green, and even she noticed that the amount of red was slowly beginning to diminish. She could taste victory.
But soon she tasted blood as something hit her hard in the head from behind. She whirled around and shook her head to get her bearings, coming face to face with a young man. He positioned himself in front of her and prepared to strike. San waited, sword in hand. There was something about him, however, that kept her from charging first. He could not have been any older than her save maybe a year, and he did not have the malice in his face that some of the other Wu soldiers seemed to have. He was merely a soldier, probably in the army by force, who did what Sun Jian told him to and nothing more.
There was something else, though. Fear. Fear for his life and for his fellow soldiers, but a willingness to give up his life for his kingdom. It was admirable, if not foolish. San watched him stare back at her as a wave of pity overtook her. This man was merely a boy, and he did not deserve to die. The man watched in confusion as she lowered her sword a bit, unsure now of what to do.
"Retreat!" San whipped around again as a handful of Wu soldiers escaped into the woods, running for their lives. The remaining soldiers called to them to remain, but soon only a handful were left. Defeated, the remaining Wu officers lay on the ground in surrender. The young man fighting Zhao San gave her a sad look, then sprawled on the ground for her to take prisoner. She couldn't bring herself to move, and two other Shu soldiers came and roughly hauled him away.
"And before he knew what hit him, I cut his head clean off." The Shu army was marching back to Cheng Du, each soldier talking excitedly about their roles in the surprise attack. But no one was as excited as Guan Ping and Zhang Shao. In fact, they had met up during the actual fight and began keeping track of how many they had killed. Both had spent most of the journey home talking about each and every soldier they fought with.
"So how many did you finish off like that?"
Zhang Shao grinned. "I beheaded twelve. The rest were stabbed right through the heart?"
"Humph. You only beheaded twelve?" Guan Ping shook his head. "I, my friend, separated fifteen men from their heads."
"Whatever. Hey, San, how many did you get?" Zhao San jerked her head up as she came back to reality. She had remained quiet for most of the journey. While she had finally gotten her chance to prove herself to her father, who had praised her efforts along with the other officers and Liu Bei, she wasn't prepared for what happened before the Wu retreat. For that boy…
"San, you okay?" Ping asked, looking concerned.
She offered her friends a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine guys."
"Good. So how many did you kill?" Shao asked proudly.
"Oh, uh, I don't remember. I wasn't counting."
"Aww, come on! How are we supposed to know who killed the most…" Guan Ping nudged his friend into silence as Zhao San drifted into a daydream again. The boys went back to their exploits as they continued to the capital. San looked back to where the prisoners were walking, but she couldn't see them at the moment. There was something about that boy that wouldn't leave her alone. She kept remembering the fight going on behind his eyes; the one between duty to his lord and duty to himself. She knew because she felt those same battles within herself. It made her wonder if she would have stayed or run had the roles been reversed.
The army stopped to make camp a few hours after the sun went down. San remained silent as she set up the tent that she shared with Xing Cai. The young woman gave her odd looks but didn't say anything about her distraction. She wordlessly went into the tent where the food was being served and went to go sit down with her brothers when Lord Liu Bei walked over to her. "Zhao San, can I ask a favor of you? I need someone to go over to the prisoner's tent and take bread and water to them. I need them alive when they're judged back at Cheng Du. Can you do this for me?"
Her heart jumped, but she nodded and went about her task. She would get to see that boy again. She wondered if he would remember her, and as she reached the tent, she prayed that he wouldn't. The guards moved and she entered with the bread and water. Most of them gave her a look of utmost loathing and practically snatched the food from her when she handed it to them. She held her head high, as she was a prized member of Lord Liu Bei's army and would not look up to men like them. They would look up at her. She had almost given each of them their food when she stopped. In the farthest corner sat the young man, staring at the tent ceiling. Slowly, she walked over to him and knelt beside his spot. He turned as she held out the bread to him.
He had long, dark hair tied behind his head with a hint of stubble around his chin. His face was tired and covered with traces of dirt and blood. The clothes he wore were wrinkled and stained, as if he'd worn them for weeks. He looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in a long time, but he managed a small smile as he took the bread from San. Despite his haggard appearance, his eyes still looked like that of a boy.
"Thank you, my lady," he said hoarsely. She said nothing, but watched him for a moment. "Was this your first battle?" he asked.
His question threw her off. "Uh, yes, it was. How could you tell?"
He laughed. "You hesitated."
"Well so did you." San smiled to herself. If he wanted a battle of wits, he was going to get one.
"I know," he answered. "I was waiting for you to try and kill me, but you never attacked. I've never been one to sneak up behind and enemy and kill them. It's cowardly."
"So is that why you hit me? So I would turn and fight you?"
"You got it." He sighed and looked at the tent ceiling again. "I guess it comes from my father's side of the family. At least, that's what everyone tells me."
San was about to ask who is father was when she heard a commotion outside of the tent. "I should go," she said. She stood and turned to leave, but turned back to the young man for a moment. "Please eat and rest. You look like death."
He laughed again. "I think I shall sleep better anyway, knowing that not everyone who serves under Lord Liu Bei is a true enemy." Unable to answer, San turned and quickly left the tent. She looked up to see her father standing there, waiting for her. Without a word, he motioned for her to follow him to his own tent nearby.
As one of Liu Bei's most trusted officers, the Five Tiger Generals got their own tents. There was no one else inside when they entered, and San collapsed onto the cot with a heavy sigh. Zhao Yun shut the flap and sat next to his daughter. "Zhao San, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself since we fought with Wu? Both your friends and your brothers are concerned. Did something happen during the battle?"
"I'm not sure, father," she said. "I was fighting just fine until near the end. One of the soldiers from Wu hit me on the head to force me to turn around. When I looked, I saw only a boy. He looked to be about my age, but he wouldn't charge at me. And when the others retreated, he stayed with the rest of his fellow soldiers. I spoke with him briefly a moment ago. Now I'm confused. I thought I would turn out to be a great warrior like you and the other officers. But now, I'm not so sure."
"Zhao San, I want you to listen to me for a moment. Most people see a great warrior as someone who always fights and always wins. What they never hear about is the soft side to every warrior. It is not weak to show mercy to an enemy, nor does it overshadow the accomplishments you made on the field of battle. As I already said, I am extremely proud of you and nothing will take that pride away."
"But now I will never live up to the family name."
"San, you already have. Even Lord Liu Bei cannot wait to see you fight in battle again. So you had some difficulty fighting another soldier. There is nothing wrong with that. Besides, it was your first battle. Some uncertainty is to be expected." San nodded but felt her eyes begin to well up with tears. "But there is something else here," Zhao Yun said. "What is this that would make my daughter cry?"
"There was something in his eyes, father. I saw myself reflecting from them, in more ways than one. I fear that Lord Liu Bei might behead him when the prisoners are tried at Cheng Du."
Zhao Yun let out a sigh. "Well, that is most likely what will happen. But I am going to give you the same advice that your mother gives me all the time. Follow your heart. Even if it seems wrong at the time, you may find that down the road of life, it saves your life." He hugged his daughter in an attempt to comfort her. She drew her tears back inside and said no more. All she could think about was how to convince Liu Bei to spare the young soldier's life.
It was a very nervous Zhao San that sat in the main hall several days later. Since she had been a part of the ambush on the Wu party, she was obligated to be present at the judgment and sentencing of the prisoners. She sat near the front with her brothers and her father, but she couldn't seem to calm down. The young man was among them and, thankfully, the last to be judged. She watched as each of his fellow soldiers were brought before Liu Bei and sentenced to death for crimes against Shu. Despite her prayers, San couldn't help but feel like there would be no way out of this for him. It made her heart ache.
Finally, the young man was pushed before Liu Bei. Although he showed no fear at the feet of the leader, San knew he was shaking inside. "Young man, you have been brought before the council of Shu for your part in the raid a few days prior. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
He frowned. "No, Liu Bei. I know that no matter what I say, you will kill me anyway. I will not be a coward like those who ran. I will die for Wu and for my family."
Zhuge Liang made a noise from behind Liu Bei and came forward. "A brave, if not foolish, young warrior, my lord. Tell me young man, who is your father?"
"My father is Lu Meng, great warrior and advisor to Lord Sun Jian and his sons," he said with pride. "My mother is Lady Li Tai, also a great warrior and famous throughout the land for rescuing my father and my lord."
"Ah, so this is Lu Ba, the famed son of Lu Meng," Zhuge Liang said. "Your exploits against the pirates with your uncle have reached even the lands of Shu."
"A fine catch indeed, brother." Guan Yu moved closer to the young man, Lu Ba, who cowered a bit under the giant man.
"Yes," Liu Bei agreed. "But you were still a part of the raid on the village and have killed many of my men." He raised his hand to give the sentence, and Zhao San felt her heart fall. She knew that, despite everything that he had just told him, Lu Ba was about to lose his head. Suddenly, she knew what she had to do. Drawing in a courageous breath, she stood and quickly walked over to where Lu Ba was crumpled on the ground.
"No, Lord Liu Bei. Please spare him."