Liu Bei could not be persuaded to change his mind. So it was a somber Zhao San who helped her brothers and father load up the carts with supplies. Luckily, Liu Chan had been holed up in some meeting with his father, so she didn't have to see his smug face as she packed everything. But his presense could still be felt. It annoyed her to the core.
"Cheer up, San," Tong said as she tied a rope around a rather full cart. "We'll make sure you go on the next one."
Guang nodded in agreement. "Chan can't win all the battles. We'll drag him down off of his high horse sooner or later."
"Thanks, I think." She smirked a bit as she stepped back to admire her work. "At least I won't have to worry about random traps set outside of my room."
"Enjoy the respite, because we're going to have a ton more planned by the time we return." Tong punched the air to punctuate his point.
By the time everything was loaded, the rest of her family had appeared. Lu Ba was there as well, standing apart from the others. Mei Li, as usual, wandered over to her sons to give them advice about the upcoming trip. Zhao Yun moved to stand next to his daughter. "I am sorry that you are not coming, San. For what its worth, I did try to dissuade Lord Liu Bei from his decision."
"Its okay, father. I will keep myself occupied here."
He gently squeezed her shoulder. "Do not let Liu Chan get to you. He is trying to do what he thinks is right, even if the rest of us do not agree with it."
"I don't like the idea of staying here with him."
"Nor do I," Yun said, releasing a sigh. "But you will have your friends to help you. You can also ask the other generals for assistance. Be strong, San. The three of us will be back soon."
She nodded and backed away, letting her father speak privately to Mei Li before they left. While her brothers were preparing to leave, however, she noticed Zhao Yun speaking to Lu Ba out of hearing range. Whatever was said to him must have shocked him, as Lu Ba's face turned red and he bowed lower than usual. After final goodbyes, the men of the Zhao family turned their horses and disappeared down the dirt road.
Mei Li gave her daughter a wink before turning to Lu Ba. Like Zhao Yun, she quickly whispered something to him before darting back into the castle and out of sight. He still looked a little troubled. Slowly, San approached him. "Are you okay?"
His head shot up. "Yes," he answered quickly.
"You're lying. Come on, tell me what's wrong."
"Concerned about me again?" Ba flashed his signature grin.
San rolled her eyes. "Duh. I wouldn't have asked otherwise."
"Your mother asked me to see the weapons master and take care of an order," he said, changing the subject. He turned to go, but San caught up to him.
"I'll go with you. That way, I can keep an eye on you." She giggled. "You know, for a servant captured from Wu, you sure manage to get the worst possible jobs. I mean, running an errand that involves weapons? How did you convince my parents of that one?"
"I didn't. Your father said that it was the only work he could think of having me do. I'm no good in the stables, I know nothing about housework, and he'd be a fool to put me on guard duty."
It made sense, San thought to herself. "It still seems odd to me. Most of Shu hates your people. My father is known for being fair and open, but this seems a bit much."
"You read my thoughts, Lady Zhao."
"I told you to call me San."
He nodded. "I will when there aren't so many other ears around to hear it." The pair made their way to the master's forge. An order of wood had arrived in one of the nearby villages and he needed it for some spears. He also had a company of five guards to go with Lu Ba, but San waved them off.
"Lady Zhao, I would feel much better about this if you would allow them to go. This boy is still a prisoner of Shu despite your father's willingness to let him wander."
"I will be fine," she insisted. "I can handle him myself."
"I do not like this, my lady."
San frowned. "Then let me take one of my weapons with me as protection. Do you have my swords lying around?"
"I have something better." The master took two short swords from a peg on the wall and handed them to her. The blades were plain but deadly, and the hilts were decorated to look like the head of a dragon. Green jewels covered the end and completed the eyes. They were somewhat simple compared to what he was capable of making, but they were perfect for San. "They're beautiful, master forger."
He grinned. "I finished them a few days ago. Your father told me about your first battle and the success you had, and I wanted to make something that would reflect your style better than your other weapons."
"Thanks you," she said, bowing low. "I hope I don't have to use them yet."
"Neither do I." He eyed Lu Ba suspiciously but said nothing to him. "Be careful, Lady Zhao." Both bowed again before heading down the pathway.
The walk to the village was uneventful. Most of the people gave the pair a wide berth, not trusting Lu Ba anymore than the soldiers of Cheng Du. They ignored the people for the most part. Ba asked a few questions about the village, which San answered to the best of her ability. The two picked up the load without any problems and began the trek back to the capital. The wood, however, proved to be a handful, and San requested a quick rest halfway down the road.
"So when are you going to teach me that trick?" Ba asked, leaning against a shady tree off the path.
San glanced at him, still trying to watch the road for any other travelers. "Which one?"
"The jump. Your father's known for it. That move requires skill, accuracy and a light foot. Rumor has it, he's the only one who can do that. I see that they're wrong." The playful gleam in his eyes had returned.
"I don't think I can teach it to you. You're quick on your feet, but that doesn't mean you're light on them, too."
"I won't know until I try," he argued.
"I'll teach you only if you do the same," said San. "I want to know how you can fight with both hands equally."
He chuckled. "I can kick with both feet, too. Honestly, San, a child could do something like that."
"Are you mocking me?" San stood, motioning for him to do the same. "Show me. Right now."
"Have you lost your mind? People will see us."
"They already have. Get up."
Lu Ba, shaking his head, stood and moved to stand next to San. "Okay, first I want you to punch with your right hand." She punched the air and held her stance. "Good. Now do the same with your left." He frowned as he took note of the difference. "Your left side is clearly weaker. You lack the force in your punches, and I assume it's the same with your feet. Now watch me." He did the same moves that she had done. San noticed, however, that the height of his arms were equal, the force was the same and the motions mirrored each other. "Before you can learn to attack with the left side of your body, you need to strengthen it."
"But we train both sides equally during practice."
He shook his head again. "That may be true, but when weapons are added the warrior always favors one side. You are no exception."
Frustrated, San picked up two of the pieces of wood and held them in front of her. "Show me what I have to do."
"You're not going to stop this, are you?" Lu Ba asked, amused.
"Nope. Show me."
"Fine." He stood opposite her, adjusting her left arm to match her right. "Feel the difference in both arms. The right one probably feels most natural, but there's strain in the left. You'll need to focus to keep the left one in line with your right." He took two staffs in his own hands and did a couple of moves to show her what he meant. His movements were fluid and graceful, San noted. "Basic moves," he said, "but necessary to relearn. Practice those with both arms until it feels natural to move that way. Then I will show you more complicated ones."
San tried a couple of them, but her left arm protested and she kept knocking the staffs together. "Its more difficult than I thought," she admitted.
"Don't worry. You'll get it down soon enough. Now, its my turn. Teach me the jump."
"Okay." She looked around until she found a large tree branch on the ground that bowed in the middle. Balancing it so that the bow was on top, she took a running start and jumped on top of it, using it to vault herself over Lu Ma's head and landing gracefully behind him. "The key is to transfer your weight equally when jumping. Often, you'll use a person's weapon or limb to push yourself up, so you need to be careful to avoid breaking it. Make sure to land on the balls of your feet. That's the easiest way to balance without breaking it."
Lu Ba nodded and stood a few feet away from the branch. He got a running start and jumped off of the branch. It groaned under his weight and he only managed to gain an extra few inches before he landed. "That, too, is harder than it looks."
"It takes practice," San admitted. "I needed almost a full year to master it. But once you can land on the branch without making it move, it'll be easier to add height and such to your jump."
"Now I have a goal during my time here." Ba stretched his arms above his head and picked up his bundle off of the ground. "We should head back before the weapons master sends those guards out after us."
San agreed and the two of them finished their trek back to the castle. Mei Li was standing by the gate, waiting for them. The guard standing beside her took San's share of the load, and Li sent Lu Ba and the guard off to finish the errand. Linking an arm with her daughter's again, they wandered through the streets of Cheng Du. "You look tired, San. Was the load that heavy?"
"Uh, no, not really." It was probably not a good idea to tell her mother what she and Ba had been doing. Mei Li was fair and open like her husband, but San was still her daughter and Lu Ba was still a prisoner.
Li was not convinced. "Then I will leave it to you to tell me." She smiled, but San refused to crack under the guilt. "I rather like Lu Ba. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders, despite his background. I dearly hope he decides to stay."
"Stay? What do you mean? I thought he was now a servant in our home permanently."
"San, that boy is descended from the Tiger's lands. He remains caged here for now, but who knows when he will finally break free? Maybe I am being too optimistic. Still, your father believes that he will eventually succumb to the pressure and try to run away."
"Is that why he's being so nice? So that Ba will forsake his home in Wu?" San felt a little betrayed. She had thought it was merely the way her father acted, not because he had an ulterior motive.
Li laughed softly. "Relax, daughter. Your father would have treated him with respect regardless of what he was. But I think his concern plays a large role in his decision making right now." She patted San's arm. "He sees potential in Lu Meng's son. While he would like that energy to be focused here in Shu, he knows what it is like to be drawn to something different. The bond of family is strong."
"You mean, father compares his defection to Shu to what Lu Ba may do here?"
"Yes. Ba would make a wonderful addition to Lord Liu Bei's forces, but there is something that pulls him home. Even when he has seen everything that we have to offer, it may not be enough in the end."
"But," San said, "if he tries to run away, won't our lord hunt him down and kill him?"
"Maybe. Or maybe not. It depends on the circumstances of the situation. Besides, if he continues to find allies at the rate he is going, Ba may find that he has help in the end."
San paled. "Allies? But that would make us traitors to Shu!"
Me Li shook her head. "Not necessarily. I know you tire of hearing this advice, but always be true to your heart, San. Even when others question your decisions, stay the course you feel is right. Your feelings will be the truest things you have in life."
He mother's words echoed in her head long after her mother left. San sought refuge in her room. Outside of her window, the garden was in full bloom and women of all stations were weaving in and out of the blossoms. Even after an hour of staring, she had no answers to her questions. Would Lu Ba willingly put his life at risk after she had fought for it? Would that make her and her family traitors? Among her own questions, she heard those of Liu Chan swirling around to add to the confusion. Why did he hate Lu Ba so much? Was it because he was from Wu or was there more? Were her brothers and friends right? Did he really have feelings for her? The idea disgusted her.
Finally, after she had exhausted herself mentally, she stood and wandered back out into the hallway. Now was a time when she needed guidance. Ping and Shao may not be old men with years of wisdom and knowledge to share with her, but they always offered an ear and friendly advice. And right now, she needed it desperately.
A/N: Ah, teenage confusion. One of many things I do NOT miss about those years. Thanks again to my readers, and especially to AngelEtty for her encouragement and reviews.