Chapter 131
-0-Ops Center
Ratchet sauntered in carrying his sparkling in his arms and pulled a chair at the table along the middle. Plopping Orion down, he settled as the little mech reached for and picked up a ruler. He looked at it then flapped his arms, hitting himself in the helm about three times. Pausing his motions with a startled expression, he looked at it, then his creator as his optics narrowed.
Ratchet who was chuckling took the ruler and gave him his rattle, pulling it from subspace. He looked at it and smiled at Ratchet, flapping his arms with it. He hit himself in the helm again, freezing, then staring at the rattle with an angry expression.
Prowl who turned at the sound of the rattle walked over to pick up the sparkling. He sat on a chair next to Ratchet. He held Orion, kissing him several times then put him on his shoulder to pat his aft gently.
Orion who was pleased with the view beat on Prowl with his rattle, grinning as he looked around as only infants can with their intense unblinking stare.
"He hit himself on the helm," Prowl said with a smirk. "Takes after his father I can see."
Ratchet chuckled. "Spittin' image."
Prowl hugged Orion then held him in front of himself, letting him stand on his wobbly legs. Orion chirped happily, waving his rattle as he bounced up and down in place. Prowl who was uncharacteristically awash with love and admiration and didn't hide it from view kissed Orion soundly then put him back on his shoulder. "I cannot wait for our sparkling. It's torture to wait."
"Sparkling therapy. We're open all hours for business," Ratchet said leaning back to relax. "So when are you going to spark with that reluctant hero of yours?"
Prowl smirked. "Sooner than he thinks, later than I want. Right now, we have to get the little mechs along."
"Spirit is using sparkling speech or so I'm told. T-Bar is actually using words?"
"He is. He calls us both father," Prowl said with inordinate happiness. "Rambler is talking very well now that he's clear they belong to us. Spirit is behind. Optimus is so patient with them. Its sweet to watch."
"He always was a softie behind that fabled magnificence and all around self denial," Ratchet agreed.
"I'm impressed with Ironhide," Prowl said patting Orion's aft. "He's so taken with this sparkling. I imagine he's in agony over being away."
"He is," Ratchet said, not mentioning the almost hourly requests for 'what's going on?' that he'd gotten since the teams deployed. "He loves this sparkling. I figured he would but I had to know for sure."
"The prank war," Prowl said with a grin.
Ratchet nodded. "He can't give me an inch. Not even a centimeter or 'its on' as the humans say."
"You lasted a long time this time."
"Sixty orns," Ratchet said with a grin. "In the end we both won."
Prowl nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I figured out right away if we wanted sparklings it would fall to me. It's not that Optimus has a problem with carrying. He's rather calm about such things. It's just that I don't think he feels he has the time to be out of the mix, to be unable to defend and fight. He has always led from the front whether I wanted him to or now, the slagger, but I don't know how he'd feel if we ever did achieve peace and could have a personal life together that didn't involve guns. I think that's the crux of his feelings about this."
Ratchet nodded. "I think that was part of what Ironhide was thinking, that and the fact that he doesn't see that as a part of who he is. It just didn't mesh with his overall fabulousness."
Prowl grinned. "He israther a cute thing."
"He's the handsomest mech I ever saw. When I look at him my peds curl. When we put together Orion's protoform, I wanted him to be the spitting image of his father. From his finials to his peds, I wanted another handsome mech around me."
Prowl smiled, clear in his understanding that when Ratchet talked about Ironhide being absolutely handsome he was being serious. "He's a carbon copy," Prowl said, lowering Orion to look at him. "His little nose is so cute."
"I think so," Ratchet said proudly. "He's got the same handsome face, the same body type … he's just terribly handsome like his father."
Prowl smiled and kissed Orion who smiling back at Prowl. "You love your Uncle Prowl don't you," Prowl said. "Your Uncle Prowl loves you." He raised the infant to kiss him, then put him back on his shoulder once more.
Ratchet smiled then leaned closer, lowering his voice as he did. "May I ask you something personal? You don't have to answer but it's intrigued me since you and Optimus got together."
Prowl nodded as he patted Orion's aft gently. "Sure."
"Ironhide is five feet taller than me, give or take an inch or two. When we … get intimate it's a logistical nightmare sometimes. Prime is eight feet taller than you. How do you two manage it?"
Prowl looked at Ratchet then chuckled. "Well … uh, Ratchet … good thing you're my doctor or I'd blush."
"If you couldblush," Ratchet said with a chuckle. "I've wondered about that since the start."
"It took a while to coordinate things." Prowl smirked. "He thought he'd crush me for a while."
"He probably could."
"Easily but he's gentle and considerate … like all of my fant-," Prowl said then caught himself. "Listen to me. Talking about 'facing in public." He looked around. No one seemed to be paying attention but he lowered his voice anyway. "It took a while but mostly I'm on top."
Ratchet snorted. "Undiscovered territory for me," he said with a chuckle. "Ironhide gives off this bulldog vibe but he's really sweet and even though we wrestle … his idea of foreplay … you can grow the mech out of the sparkling but you can't take the sparkling out of the mech … he's really very considerate. But I've never seen the pinnacle if you get my point."
"Never?" Prowl asked with surprise. "I have. Almost always."
Ratchet smiled. "Rub it in."
Prowl grinned. "Aww."
Ratchet chuckled again. "He's good in the berth so I suppose I shouldn't complain but he insists on being on top."
"Assert yourself, Ratchet. Let him know what you want."
"I got what I want," Ratchet said looking at Orion. "It's really okay. Its almost a running joke and I think that's how the wrestling started."
"Sounds fun. I couldn't wrestle Optimus. Even with all the skill I have in hand-to-hand, he's still just that much bigger and stronger than me. It must be what he feels when he goes against Megatron."
"Any other two mechs you could trounce handily," Ratchet replied.
Prowl nodded. "I know. But Optimus is in a league of his own, a phase sixer in my estimation. Ironhide gave him a handful when he was off his rocker and going after the mercs."
"He almost put Prime in the dust. Hard to see a father and son fall out like that," Ratchet said with a snicker.
Prowl smiled. "Family disputes are so sad but eventually the son outgrows the father."
Ratchet grinned. "I have to say Springer is one sexy bot. Good call on Prime's part, though I would've loved for him to have chosen a mini-con."
Prowl laughed aloud, drawing a stare or two. Leaning in toward Ratchet, he grinned. "Talk about height difference."
"Twenty feet perhaps."
Prowl sat back with a smile. "Being on the bottom isn't practical for someone my size and someone Optimus' size. I had that with Sentinel. He had a thing about being on top and he almost crushed me. Every single time I was facing the middle of his chest and he was taking off without me."
"Lousy 'face?"
Prowl nodded. "Not in his mind. He was a turbojet in his own mind. But he never made me happy. Poor Sentinel. He died so badly and he didn't really deserve it."
"If he were still going, you'd never have met Optimus and we'd be over. He would never have saved the Allspark or us."
Prowl nodded. "Optimus is a hero. He's the mech we needed."
"I never thought you two would be able to get together. I never saw two such bumbling love-struck idiots."
Prowl laughed, drawing gazes again. "I know. It was sad wasn't it."
"Tragic," Ratchet said considering something. "You do know that Jazz and I had an operation to get you two together."
"I figured as much. I'm sure you had an operational name as well."
"Operation Get Prowl Laid."
Prowl paused to get the appropriate reference, chuckling as he did.
Orion who was bouncing against his shoulder squeaked.
Prowl lowered him, looking at him with a loving expression. "Your creator is a dirty old mech."
Orion smiled then reached for Prowl's chevron. P
Prowl kissed his face several times then put him on his shoulder again. "Your operation worked I have to say. Thank you, Ratchet."
"You're welcome, Prowl." Ratchet looked around. "I wonder who else could benefit from some of my expertise? You do know that I hooked up Perceptor and Wheeljack?"
"I didn't know that. Bravo, maestro," Prowl said with a grin.
"They were almost as oblivious as you two," Ratchet said with a satisfied smirk. "Nothing like working the old spark strings."
"No, there isn't anything like it," Prowl said with a grin. "If you could have an affair with any mech you know, without Ironhide knowing of course, who would it be?"
Ratchet glanced at Prowl sharply then grinned wolfishly. "Any mech? Present bonds not withstanding?"
"You'd 'face with Optimus?" Prowl asked, intrigued by the possibilities.
"Who wouldn't?" Ratchet replied. "The comely messiah of our people? I would."
Prowl laughed, drawing stares again. He glanced around and they turned back to their stations. "When you put it that way."
"He's leading us to glory. Or as some people say it on the teevee, 'glow-ree'. I also think Springer is pretty sexy."
"I used to," Prowl said with a grim smirk. "That is, until he became the first Mrs. Optimus Prime."
Ratchet laughed out loud, drawing stares. "That's good. Shall I tell them both?"
"Don't you dare," Prowl said with a grin. "I think that the twins are quite beautiful and Sideswipe, I think, would be fun in the berth."
"Your … what do the humans call them? Your sons-in-law intrigue you?"
"Sure," Prowl said. "Aesthetically, they do. They're both beautiful, shiny and rugged. Makes you wonder. I used to wonder, then Bluestreak took that off my servos." He grinned. "It takes a bit of effort to accept that they're 'facing my youngling. Both of them."
"Sounds sexy," Ratchet said.
"It does," Prowl said.
They both laughed.
And drew stares.
"Optimus is leaving when?" Ratchet asked.
"Tomorrow."
"I wonder how the boys are doing? I hear they showed their hologram forms to the soldiers and freaked them out," Ratchet said.
Prowl paused to get definitions then grinned. "They did. I also hear that they're pretty confined in the garage of the house."
Ratchet nodded. "Ironhide is going crazy. But they're playing cards with the soldiers inside the house with their holo-forms. Says its fun."
"Good," Prowl said. "Lennox is learning how to ski so apparently it isn't a 'total bust'."
Ratchet snorted. "Optimus and the boys should try. You know, Ironhide has dreams in which he's this sorry little red van."
"Oh, Primus. What a sad choice."
"I know," Ratchet said with a chuckle. "He actually thinks I'd date a mom van."
"Your image," Prowl said with a slight smirk.
Ratchet smiled brilliantly. "I told him so. I'd never date a mom van because I have an image to maintain. In another one of his dreams, Megatron was going to blow up a dam so Optimus and all of us apparently surfed on a tsunami to get there to stop him."
Prowl paused to get the imagery correct then laughed out loud. He looked at Ratchet intrigued by his lunacy which wasn't a common occurrence around him. "Oh, do continue."
"Apparently we succeeded. Optimus was astonishing and sexy. He also was just red, white and blue. No flames or stuff."
"I love his flames. They're so handsome and sexy," Prowl said.
"At least in Ironhide's dreams, he's still a semi truck."
"What are you?" Prowl asked, smirking with amusement.
"A red and white ambulance. I have red crosses, red servos and a gray chevron on my head. Ironhide thinks its sexy. He tells me I should change my paint scheme."
"You should," Prowl said. "Change it for when he comes back. Putting a chevron on shouldn't be too hard. I think it'd be funny. Sort of give him his fantasy."
Ratchet stared at Prowl a moment, then grinned. "I like the way you think."
"Don't mention it," Prowl said with a grin. "I live to serve."
Ratchet nodded. "Don't we all."
-0-Later that evening
"Sunstreaker, here is what I need you to do."
Sunstreaker who was listening with half an audial perked up as each detail of Ratchet's commentary registered. By the time Ratchet was finished, he was grinning with wolfish glee. He nodded in agreement.
Operation Frag With The Mom Van was underway.