The light had dimmed a little since she had fallen asleep. San picked up her head and looked around the room, dazed. Everything was exactly as she had left it except for the sky. Slowly, she got off of the bed and walked over to the window. The sun was lowering itself rapidly. "Really? How long was I asleep?" Panicked, San rushed to the door and threw it open.
Two spears barred her way and she fell right to the floor. "What the…" She looked up into the eyes of two stern guards, rubbing her chest where she had run into their weapons. Her mind raced. "Oh…oops," she said, remembering where she was. "I didn't mean to startle you."
One of them offered her a hand, which she took despite her confusion. "We were told you were not a flight risk."
"I'm not. Well, I mean…uh, sorry. I forgot that I was in Wu for a moment." A dull flush spread across her cheeks as she realized how ridiculous she sounded. "I had a long day."
The other soldier stared at her. "I see. Were you looking for anyone in particular?"
"Um, I was actually wondering what time it was."
"You have been asleep for a while, Lady Zhao. The evening meal is only a few hours away."
Did I really sleep that long? She stared stupidly at the two of them before regaining her composure. "Sorry. I just…"
The one who had helped her up held his hand in the air, stopping her. "You are confused, Lady Zhao. It is alright."
"What happened to the sharp tongued girl from this morning?" the other asked, grinning. "Is sleep the cure for outbursts in Shu?"
San opened her mouth to protest but thought the better of it. Without Lu Ba or Lady Sun Shang Xiang, she would need to tread extra carefully to keep her head. She may be protected now, but there was nothing to stop one of these brutes from stabbing her later and claiming it was in defense. Or worse, an accident. "Lady Sun said I could wander around if I wanted," she said, changing the subject.
The first guard nodded. "Where would you like to go?"
"Well, where can't I go?"
"I have an idea. The gardens in this area should be fairly empty right now, with everyone else resting before supper. May I suggest a walk through there, Lady Zhao? It might help to clear your confusion."
She ignored the irritating smirk he was giving her. "To the gardens it is. Lead the way."
San was relieved that the gardens were close to her quarters. Walking around the castle with Wu soldiers and servants staring was bad enough. Walking between two heavily armed guards was torture. But they were right; the grounds were only populated by a handful of noblemen and women and the occasional guard. As soon as they entered, her companions stepped aside to let her wander about. She was glad that they kept enough of a distance to allow her some privacy without letting her out of their sights.
The gardens were smaller than those of Cheng Du, but they were still kept in excellent condition. It made her long for home and her friends and those quiet moments under her mother's tree. It was the first time upon entering Wu that she didn't feel like an enemy. She felt at peace. It was soothing, especially since she knew her trials were only going to get worse in a few hours.
In the distance, San noticed a lone figure sitting underneath one of the many peach trees that lined the outside walls. A memory flashed through her head of her mother. The woman had the same dark hair and was sitting with her back straight and her hand in the air, letting the wind flow through her fingers. San hurried impulsively, unable to stop herself as she neared the woman. Mother?
A few feet away, she finally stopped. The woman turned to look at San, who had finally snapped out of her trance. This was not her mother. She felt a little stupid. Obviously it wasn't, she told herself. The woman was dressed in a vibrant red kimono and her features were sharp, almost as sharp as a man's. But her eyes were gentle. They looked San over with curiosity and something else that she could not figure out. San opened her mouth to apologize. The woman beat her to it. "Ah, you must be Lady Zhao San."
San stiffened. She didn't remember meeting her earlier in the dining hall or when passing through the maze of castle hallways. "How do you know who I am?"
She smiled. It was warm and understanding. "I cannot say that I know many Wu women who wear green." San blushed with embarrassment but the woman just laughed. "Relax, daughter of the Dragon. You have made a lasting impression here already. I would be a fool to not know who you are."
The young woman shifted uncomfortably on her feet. She disliked when other people were able to figure her out so easily. She disliked it even more when people pretended to be nice. She was a Shu solider. There was no reason for this woman to show her kindness.
"Leave us." The other woman waved her arms towards the two soldiers behind San. Without a word, they bowed and left. She patted the empty spot on the bench next to her. "Come, Lady Zhao. Sit with me a while. You look as though you have just awakened from a long slumber."
"Who are you?" San sputtered. The woman merely looked at her, like a mother who was waiting for a child to calm down from a tantrum, and San realized that she was out of line. She sat down and looked at her feet. "I'm sorry. I keep forgetting where I am."
"It is quite alright," the woman said. "You are right to question who I am. Forgive me. I should have been at the feast earlier when you arrived. There was a bit of a problem in the kitchen and I was asked to handle the matter."
"Isn't that for servants to handle?"
A blossom from the tree landed in the woman's outstretched hand. It fit perfectly. "I used to be a servant in the kitchen."
"Really?" San asked. "You don't look like a servant."
She shook her head. "No, not anymore. Lord Sun Jian gave me a precious gift many years ago. I have since learned to make use of that and have reaped many more rewards. But I have you to thank for my most recent gift."
"Me?"
"The safe return of a child, my only child, is more than I deserve, Lady Zhao. I thank you very much for that."
"I didn't return…" San stopped as the woman's words hit her. Her eyes grew wide as she took in her face again, from the dark eyes to the sharp features. Now she could see it. She had been foolish. "You…you're Lu Ba's mother. Lady Li Tai."
Li nodded, a smile forming thin lines at the corners of her mouth. They were the only signs of her true age, just like Mei Li. Did all heroic women never age? "Yes, I am. I was wondering when I would get to meet the woman my son has not stopped talking about." She laughed as San blushed. "Did you think he would forget all about you as soon as he returned home? Give my son some credit, Lady Zhao. You have captivated him in a way no other woman has before."
"You must be mistaken," San mumbled, embarrassed.
Li Tai shook her head again. "It is you who is mistaken. I know my son well. He did not think he would find kindness in Shu, much less friendship."
"My father was the kind one."
"Zhao Yun was not the one who spared my son's life."
"No, Lord Liu Bei did. It was ultimately his decision."
One of Li's thin hands reached over and rested gently on San's. "Do you give your own actions so little credit, San?" It was the first time anyone she didn't know had used her real name since entering Wu. "Without you, my son would be dead." She gave the girl's hands a gentle squeeze. "I wonder what it is that makes you so reluctant to admit your own role in this. I have my theories. But I will wait and see."
Despite herself, San grinned. She knew she could trust Lady Li Tai. She was Lu Ba's mother after all. "I think, my lady, that some things cannot be shared. Not yet anyway."
"I understand. I hope that, someday, you will find the courage to speak of things that you do not feel ready to tell. Just remember that you do have friends here." Taking her hand back, Li took the blossom in her other hand and began fastening it above San's ear. Just like Mei Li would have done. "I am beginning to see what my son sees in you, San. I hope to see the rest of it before you depart."
"Well then I hope I don't disappoint you."
Li smiled. "I do not think you are capable of it."
"I'm going to stand out like a sore thumb," San complained. The evening meal was only a few minutes away. Lady Sun Shang Xiang had insisted on making her presentable. Of course, this also meant that she would have to dress like a lady, and a Shu one at that. The princess had kept a handful of kimonos from her days with Liu Bei. One of them was now wrapped around San's body. "Why do I have to wear green?"
"Because you are a high ranking Shu officer and a guest of Wu. I thought you were proud of your heritage."
"I am." San winced as Shang Xiang poked her with a hairpin. "But I have enough attention on me already. This is only going to make it worse."
Her friend laughed as she finished her hair. "You would have eyes all over you anyway. We of Wu always get excited over new people, regardless of where they came from. And I refuse to let you look like you just came back from war. At least let them think that you are capable of looking the part of a noblewoman." San opened her mouth to protest but was cut off. "It was a joke, San. I know what you are capable of looking like."
San sighed. "Will I be expected to say anything tonight? I don't want to be a sideshow attraction."
"I think you'll find plenty of people willing to speak on your behalf. Do not trouble yourself. Ah, there we go. You look beautiful, Lady Zhao."
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. All traces of the young, brash, battle worn girl were gone. In her place was a strikingly beautiful woman, with just enough makeup to let her natural beauty shine through. Her hair hung elegantly in a side ponytail with a few wisps to frame her face. That couldn't be her face looking back at her. That had to be her mother, or one of the other high born ladies in court.
"I remember," Lady Sun said, "a time before you were born when I was in the same position that I am now. The young woman who was sitting across from me did not think herself beautiful or worthy of all the attention. But even before I got my hands on her, she had attracted the attention of one of the most eligible bachelors in Wu. I am sure she would look upon this moment and finally realize how wrong she was and how worthy of his love she was. She still struggles with it today, although she will not tell anyone."
"Who was that?"
"Lady Li Tai."
San almost fell out of her chair. "Are you serious?"
"The day of her wedding, she was sitting in the same spot that you are now. Despite all of the excitement, you could tell that there was some apprehension." Lady Sun placed her hands on San's shoulders. It was hard to feel beautiful with the princess standing right behind her. "Lady Lu has been one of my closest friends since she became a noblewoman, San. Even now, she questions how she was able to have so much when she spent most of her life as a servant. She does not see herself clearly. Neither do you. Now, enough sad talk. I believe our escort to supper will be here any minute."
"Um, Lady Sun, where am I sitting during the meal?" The question had been bothering San all day, and she needed an excuse to look away from her reflection. Her looks unnerved her. All she could picture was Liu Chan's face every time he set eyes on her. No, she wouldn't think of that right now. She had a mission to complete and she needed to focus.
Shang Xiang smiled at her young friend. "I haven't the slightest idea, but your escort will yield come kind of clue."
"Your eyes are giving you away, Lady Sun."
"You are too observant for your own good," the princess said, her eyes dancing.
There was a soft knock on the door and San felt her heartbeat take off. Well, she told herself, this is it. She remained in her seat while Sun Shang Xiang answered the door and asked for one more minute. San took a deep breath and told herself to relax. No one was going to try and kill her; she had too much valuable information. It was just dinner. Shang Xiang promised that she wouldn't have to do too much talking. "You are the Dragon's daughter," she told her reflection. "You fear nothing."
"Even the dragon fears the claws of the tiger," the princess said from behind her. "Just as the tiger fears the dragon's power. Are you ready?"
San frowned. "I'd rather be preparing for battle."
"Supper requires just as much strategy in cases like this. But there is no need to be alarmed. I think you will do just fine." With that, she helped the young girl to her feet and led her to the door.
Her breath caught in her throat. Two men were standing on the other side of the door, clothed in brilliant shades of red that almost hurt San's eyes. Both bowed to the two women. Lu Xun was easy to recognize despite his stature. It was the other man that confused her. He looked like Lu Ba. But it couldn't be him. The circles were gone from under his eyes, his pale skin was now tinged with red and his eyes danced like nothing San had ever seen. And yet, it had to be him. She could see it in his smile. It was more unnerving than facing Sun Jian again.
"My, you clean up quite well Lady Zhao," Lu Xun said. "I am glad Lady Sun dressed you in green. Otherwise I would hardly recognize you." He extended a hand to the princess, who took it with a bow of her own. "Shall we head to supper? Jiang Wei has given me much to think about and I need a good meal to help me get through it all."
The pair headed back down the hall, but San could only stare at her escort. Ba's brow furrowed in confusion. "Are you alright?"
"Why are you here?" she blurted out without thinking. She immediately clamped her mouth shut.
"I…I thought you would be more comfortable with me as your escort. If you want, I can go get Lu Xun to come back and take you." He bit his lip and took a step back. "Are you mad at me?"
"Lu Ba, I'm in enemy territory and about to go in to a meal with no allies and no way to know who wants me dead, and I have to do this again for the next two nights. I'm mad at everyone!"
He smiled. It seemed strained. "No one is going to kill you. Lady Sun and my father made sure of that."
"Your father?" She was going to choke on her own heart if it didn't sink back to normal position. The look he was giving her was making her uncomfortable.
"Yeah. My father insisted on my taking care of you during your stay. He swore that if anyone laid a hand on you, he would see justice swiftly done. I think your meeting with my mother also helped your cause. And my uncle wants to meet you. So relax and let's go before we miss our entrance."
He held his hand out. San sighed and took it, letting him lead her out of the doorway and after Lady Sun and Lu Xun. His skin was cold and trembling. "Seems like I'm not the only one who needs to relax," she said.
"Hey, I've spent all day trying to catch up with my friends and family."
"Your skin is freezing. Are you okay?"
It was his turn to sigh. "I just feel like something isn't right. Almost like…well…like I'm still going to lose someone or something after I go through that door. Everyone has welcomed me back as if I never left, but I still don't feel home. Sorry, I'm babbling. I'll get over whatever's bothering me after I eat." He flashed her a grin that was more normal but still seemed forced. Something really wasn't right. Had his parents said something that unnerved him? Or worse, had they forced information out of him that might be used against Shu?
She didn't remember reaching the door, but Lu Ba had to hold her back to prevent her from bumping into it. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Ready?"
"No. But I guess I don't have a choice. Ba grinned. "Just remember that I'm under as much scrutiny as you right now. They'll be watching us both."
"What did you do?"
"I returned with Zhao Yun's daughter."
San frowned. "So?"
"Before I left, my parents were in marriage negotiations with Sun Jian and Zhou Yu. They reached an agreement while I was gone."
A/N: Hmm, lots of 'unnerving' going around. And Li Tai is back! I really enjoyed her character in Nightmare's Calling and I'm so glad I was able to bring her back for this story. Oh, and many thanks to AngelEtty for her encouraging words and constant poking to finish the story and absurdnormality for that very wonderful review!