Chapter 18

In Vegas Sofia had an equally difficult time as Sara; to come to terms with what had happened. Greg had pretty fast picked up that something was wrong, and had tried to talk to Sofia, but she had refused to talk about it.

But she needed to speak with someone, who could explain to her, why she had acted the way she had, when it usually was a behavior that was so far from who she was. She needed some answers, but she had no desire to talk to her friends about it. It was too personally! It had to be one; she could be reasonably anonymous too.

Deep down she knew well who she could talk to, she just didn't like to admit it. It was not a place she really wanted to go, but she missed Sara and burning wanted to get it all talked through with her. So there was no alternative but to swallow her pride, and seek out some answers. When the shifted ended she got to her car, and started driving towards her destination.

"Hello Detective, how's your murder case going?"

"Lady Heather, fine, we found the guilty one." Sofia admitted as she leaned back on her heals.

"So it's not the case that brings you by then?"

Sofia gave her an embarrassing smile. "No it's not!"

"Would you like to come in?" Heather asked, giving her a friendly smile.

Sofia hesitated, "Uh… Well… Guess so!" Sofia stammered, brushing a hand through her hair as she looked to the side.

"So Detective, what can I do for you?" Lady Heather asked with an inquisitive stare. The detective seemed uncomfortable.

"I need some answers, some… personal answers!"

Lady Heather smiled, "let me guess sex related?"

Sofia blushed, "Uh… yes."

"Well Detective, let's go into my private room, think we both could use a cup of tea."

"Thanks" Sofia replied as she followed Heather into a big room.

"What is it you need me to answer for you?"

Sofia took a deep breath and told her the whole thing, not only the specific episode, but the whole coming out thing, and it was the first time she was with a woman. Lady Heather listened to Sofia without interrupting her.

"If I understand you correctly the problem is, that you don't understand how you voluntarily could lean back and be the passive part?"

"Yes, I don't recognize myself" Sofia said, with a brief nod.

"I can see several reasons for this, but first I want to know, how you feel with the whole experience?"

"Embarrassed.., amazed.., chocked.., confused..," the blonde admitted softly.

"I think it's fair to say, that the last months of your emotional life, has been somewhat a roller coaster ride. But it's not the reason why it happened! It is a natural part of you, who have always remained deeply in you" Heather concluded.

Sofia looked skeptical at Lady Heather, "I don't think so" she replied dismissively.

Lady Heather chuckled, "Oh Detective, trust me it has!"

"I know it have never happened before, so why now?"

"That I believe! So what's different between Sara, and anyone else you have been with?"

Sofia thought for a while, "I think it's that I'm in love with her."

"I think that's a big part of it. How does she make you feel during sex?"

Sofia's brow furrowed, "Uh…Good!"

"I surely would hope so! But perhaps you could put a few more words to it?" Heather asked, raising an amused eyebrow when the detective looked away, clearly embarrassed.

"Well, she makes me feel safe, -loved, -taken care of, she makes me feel, as if I'm the only one in the whole universe" Sofia conceded.

Lady Heater nodded, "and that my dear… Is why you don't have any problem in giving her the control! You have finally met someone you trust, and feel confidential enough with to just let go of yourself."

"I can understand why I don't have any problem in giving her control, but that still don't explain why I urge/want her to dominate me."

"First of all, you need to get to terms with the word dominance! It's not a bad thing; it's simply just mean to let someone else take over. Unless it's in all aspects of your life, but I don't think that's the case here." Heather explained when Sofia gave her a puzzled look.

"There is not a straightforward answer to, why some wants to be dominated, and others like to dominate. But I think the answer often can be found in people's daily life. You have a job which requires a lot of control and dominations, you have got to have great self-control when you work on a crime scene for things not to run riot. In the interrogation room you have to be the dominating part, to prevent the criminal to gain the upper hand. So the fact that you need to let go of yourself in other situations of your life doesn't surprise me." Heather said, pausing long enough to take a sip of her tea.

"But letting her dominate you, doesn't mean that you give up the power. - You can always say no. - Dominance/subordination is often a game that's played, and it will always be the subordination part that's controlling the game even if she doesn't know it. If the dominator knows what she's doing, and from what you been telling me I think she does, her primary mission will be to force you to what you will preferably. And quite frankly, I don't think that's such a bad thing!" Heather explained, fixing the detective with a pointed look.

"Guess there is some kind of logic to what you're saying." Sofia said with a slight nod of her head.

"Yes there is, and hopefully it made you a little wiser too" Heather said, flashing Sofia a knowing grin.

Sofia got up, "yeah I think so."

"Well Detective, it's been nice talking to you, and do feel free to come back again if you got more questions." Heather said as she walked the detective to the front door.

"Thank you, and thanks for your time." And with that Sofia left again.

For the next couple of days, Sofia spent a lot of time thinking about what Lady Heater had said, and the more she thought about it the more sense it gave.

Sara knew she couldn't keep going on like this; she needed to talk to Sofia. So she called Greg.

"Hey Greg, its Sara."

"Hey Sara, how's school?"

"Its fine a lot of fun, how are you hanging?"

"Good, I'm getting there!" Greg said succinctly, seeing this wasn't a casual conversation.

"Good to hear. Greg, I need you to do me favor?"

"Sure, anything Sara" he offered lightly.

"I need you to find out when Sofia has a day off from work."

"What's going on between you two?"

"That's Private Greg" she said noncommittally.

"Yeah, that's what Sofia said. Look, give me a couple of hours and I'll call you back."

"Okay, talk to you later then."

"Later."

Greg called an hour later.

"Hello again" Greg said.

"Hey, so…" Sara asked impatiently.

"Well, she's off Monday morning, and doesn't come back before Tuesday evening."

"Okay, then I goner need another favor from you" she said, letting out a long breath.

"O..kay, and that would be?" Greg said hesitantly.

"You know the little diner outside of town where we sometimes go; I need for you to bring Sofia out there Monday morning."

Greg stated laughing, "And how do you expect me to do that?"

"Greg, I don't care how you do it, just make it happen."

"Yeah right Sara, that's pretty easy for you to say!"

"Listen Greg, use your puppy eyes. Weep if you have to. Please, just get her out there."

"Okay Sara, I'll kidnap her if I have to, but that one you will owe me for" Greg sighed in resignation.

"Fine Greg, I can live with that, but no matter what you do, don't tell her that you have talked to me!" Sara insisted.

"I won't, guess I'll see you Monday?"

"Sure, see you Monday. And Greg thanks" Sara said softly before hanging up.

It took Greg a lot of persuasion to make Sofia agree to come along and eat breakfast with him, but they finally rolled up in front of the diner. Greg couldn't see Sara anywhere, so he decided to bring Sofia inside. As they walked towards the door, Sara walked up behind them and took Sofia's hand.

"Sorry Greg, but she's with me" Sara said with a grin.

Sofia was not only shocked about that someone had taken her hand from behind, but as much to see Sara in front of her. "What are you doing here?" She looked at Greg, "what is going on here?"

Greg looked very innocent, "sorry Sofia, I only parries order!"

Sara didn't say anything; she just dragged Sofia over to the car and held the door as Sofia got in. Walking around the car she waved at Greg. "Thanks Greg, see you later" she said before getting into the driver's seat.

Sofia was not a bit pleased with Sara's behavior, "Sara, what are you doing here?"

Sara smiled; "guess, you could say that I'm kidnapping you."

Sofia regarded her calmly, "that's not funny Sara, please stop the car."

"Nope," Sara said, trying another smile, "you can't tell your kidnapper what to do."

Sofia was really starting to get pissed off, "Sara, are you stopping the car, or do I have to jump out while you're driving?"

Before Sofia knew what had happen, Sara had handcuffed her left hand to the car, and all the sudden she had turned very serious.

"Sofia, I need to talk to you about what happened the last time we were together. I have rented a cabin because I think we need to be some place neutral. But it's actually very simple; you're the one holding the key! If you don't want to come along then un-cuff yourself and tell me to drive you home, and I will."

Sara's symbolic words weren't lost on Sofia. "Yeah well, I need to talk to you too so I want to come along. But I am going to un-cuff myself; I will like to think that I'm going on my own free will. So where are we going?" She asked, un-cuffing herself.

Sara smiled, "I have rented a cabin at Lake Mead."

"Can you please pull over for a minute, Sara?"

"Sure something wrong?" She asked bringing the car to a stop.

Sofia unbuckled her seatbelt and moved over to Sara and kissed her very passionately whispering "missed you!"

Sara pulled her in and kissed her again, "missed you too."

Sofia got back in her seat, "okay, you can drive now."

Sara just laughed, and started driving.

"So, shouldn't you be in school right now?" Sofia asked, flashing a smile at her. Sara responded by shaking her head.

"Nope, the whole school is on a field trip today."

"Are you going back tonight?"

"Already tired of me, are you?" Sara joked.

"Nah… Not quite" Sofia quipped, laughing at the evil look Sara directed towards her.

"I'm going back tomorrow" Sara replied.

They kept small talking until they got to the cabin. They took a long walk along the lake to stretch their bodies, before heading down to a little diner where they got brunch. Then they went back to the cabin.

"So… Guess we should talk?" Sofia said.

"Guess, but we're not right now."

"Huh?"

"Sof, you just got off shift. You're barely able to keep your eyes open, so we're going to sleep first and talk later."

"Okay" Sofia sighed, "Well, it's not like I brought any clothes."

Sara smirked, "mmm-hmm," eyes laughing.

Sofia looked at the brunette in surprise but caught the teasing look in her eye. "Sara, you're so not funny!"

Sara grinned, "Sof, I brought all you goner need. You forgot a pair of pants in Frisco, and for t-shirt, underwear and pajamas, you goner have to live with wearing mine."

Sofia chuckled, "I can live with that!"

"Damn!"

"What?"

"I was hoping you were going for nude," she laughed, running out of the living room towards the bedroom."

Sofia turned and went straight after her. When she caught up with Sara, she tackled her onto the bed, causing them both to lose their breath.

"Sof that wasn't a very romantic way getting me into bed" Sara pouted.

"It wasn't?" Sofia asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"No!"

"Hmm… guess, I better see if I can make it up to you then," she faced Sara and kissed her slow and gently, "better?"

"Yeah," Sara pulled her closer and wrapped her arms around the blonde, "go to sleep," she whispered.

"I'm not that tired," Sofia muttered, but she was already halfway in dream world.

Sara was the first to wake up, she watched Sofia sleep for a while. She truly was a very beautiful woman, just looking at her was enough for Sara's pulse to quicken a little and her heart to aches, she still couldn't believe that Sofia had chosen to be with her. She leaned in and kissed the blonde lightly on her forehead, before getting out of bed; she went down to the small store further down the road, and picked up a few groceries. When she came back the shower was running. She made coffee before going outside, watching the view over the lake and waiting for Sofia.

Sofia came out and put her arms around Sara. "Hey, you were gone when I woke up."

"Yeah, I went shopping, thought you could use some coffee when you woke up."

"Thanks, that was sweet of you."

"You're welcome," Sara turned in her arms and kissed her. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, guess I did need the sleep" Sofia confided.

"So… Are you hungry, or do you want to talk?"

"With that brunch..? I don't think I can eat again, let's go inside."

They refilled their mugs and sat down on the couch, and just gazed at each other.

"Guess, I should go first," Sara finally said, "since this was my idea. Listen Sofia, I don't know what happen…" Sara blushed. "Uh… well, I do know what happen! I just don't know how it could happen. I'm so embarrassed about my behavior; I never meant to put you in a situation like that. I can't take it back but I can promise you that it will never happen again!" Sara exclaimed seriously.

"Why?"

Sara looked totally confused, "why what?"

Sofia tilted her head to stare inquisitively at Sara. "Why won't it happen again?"

"Because… because, I won't do anything that could either hurt you, or make you feel uncomfortable" she stated emphatically.

"Did I seem uncomfortable to you?"

Sara sighed, "Sof, that's beyond the point. So maybe you didn't this time, but who knows next time? That's just a chance I can't take, I don't think I could live with myself, if I did something that hurt you."

"Look Sara, I would be lying saying I wasn't chocked about my own behavior at the time, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I actually had enjoyed it. I don't know why and I really don't care."

"Well, maybe you should!"

"No I don't think so! I have no intentions of analyzing this to dead. I liked it and I'm fine with it and deep down I think you are too. You're just scared!"

Sara grimaced, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Yes I am! I'm scared of that side of myself that's not who I am. But most of all I'm scared that I will end up doing something that makes you leave."

Sofia pulled her in and kissed her. "Not a chance! But I think you're missing the point here, this is a two way thing. You should know and trust me enough, to know that I will tell you if you do something I don't like."

"Sof, I do trust you that's not a problem! The problem is that I simply can't accept this side of me. I can't do..m… I just can't!" She trailed off.

Sofia knew there was more to this than Sara was telling, just not what. But she knew better than to ask or keep on pushing, so for now she just accepted.

Sofia smiled, and laced her fingers with the brunette's. "Okay Sara, it's not that important that I'm going to try to press you into something that you don't want. I just want to be with you, the rest we can take as it comes."

Sara leaned back on the couch, bringing Sofia with her, "I want to be with you too."

After some making out, Sofia pulled back and looked at the brunette.

"How early are you leaving tomorrow? Guess, you have school?"

Sara rubbed Sofia's back in soothing circles. "Yes I have but I'm truant, so I'm not leave before tomorrow afternoon" she said reassuringly, savoring the warmth of the blonde pressed against her.

Sofia pulled back a little, her hands rising to Sara's shoulders, and regarded her, gaze roving over her face as though she were committing it to memory. "Whoa… Sara Sidle truant, I'm impressed!"

Sara shrugged, her lips curling up, "guess, someone was more important!" Her smile widened into a grin.

"Sara, what's going to happen?"

"Hmm?" Sara asked, not following her question.

"Well, you're in Frisco and I'm in Vegas that are not exactly being together?"

"No it's not, and I'm just been offered a two months extension" Sara said simply.

Sofia's smile faded at her words. "Listen, I know you love teaching and I would never ask you to say no, but if you're going to accept, I'm going on a leave and come to Frisco. I'm not living the next two months apart from you!"

Sara looked shocked, "you will do that?"

Sofia wrinkled her brows, "yes of course I will, why? You don't want me to?"

Sara caught Sofia's lips and kissed her so passionately, that the blonde forgot everything around her. Sara finally let go and gazed into Sofia's eyes.

"That's so sweet Sof, but it won't be necessary. I told them no! Told them I had to go back to this hot sexy thing!" Sara said, looking pleased.

"Sara you did not?" Sofia was taken aback by the statement.

Sara threw Sofia a cheeky grin, "yes, I did."

Sofia shook her head, baffled, "I'm not those things!"

Sara threw her a challenging glance, "who said I was talking about you?"

Sofia grabbed Sara's wrists and started tickling her. "Sidle, you better take that back!"

Sara just laughed, "or else?"

"I swear I'll tickle you until you pee your pants."

But Sara wasn't about to give in, "but hon, I can't!"

Sofia gave her characteristic smirk, "don't you hon me, why can't you take it back?"

Sara was struggling pretty hard to get lose, "because you told me so…"

Sara finally managed to get an arm lose, she put her foot down on the floor and used it to push her body up against Sofia's making her lose her balance, which was Sara's changes to spin them around so she was on top. She caught the blonde's arms and used her own body weight to pin Sofia to the couch.

At Sofia's incredulous look, Sara shrugged. "Okay sweetie, I'll meet you halfway. Of course I was talking about you, but for the rest, that I won't take back. You are one hot sexy lady, and that you can't change my mind about!"

Sofia gazed up at the brunette, "Sara?"

"Mmm."

"Will you please shut up, and make love to me?"

Sara felt the smile start, and didn't try to rein it in, "that I will love to do," and she did.

Afterwards they took a shower, before taking another walk by the lake watching the sunset. They went out for dinner.

Sofia lit up the fireplace when they came back, and for a long time they just sat on the floor looking into the fire and talked, when the fire burned out they went to bed. They made love half the night, before falling asleep in each other's arms.

Sara was the first to wake up, she knew Sofia would want for her to wake her up, but Sara didn't knowing Sofia had to work the entire night. Sara cleaned up the cabin, while she waited for Sofia to wake up; Sofia got a shower and some coffee before they went back to Vegas.

After dropping Sofia off at her car. Sara drove by the lab leaving a two week notice of her return on Grissom's desk. She went over to Sofia's place to spend the rest of the afternoon with her, before going back to Frisco.

This time Sara didn't just disappear from Frisco. She invited her closest friends over for dinner, to say a proper goodbye. She had every intention of keeping contact this time. Actually she was hoping that Sofia would want to spend their vacations in Frisco, but it was not something they had talked about, yet.

Tbc…