Note: Please know that this chapter deals with the sensitive subjects of Rape and Self-Harm. I worked really hard on trying to elaborate more on the characters feelings in this chapter and it is longer than the last two. Please leave some reviews on how I am doing and I hope you enjoy!
As Callie was getting ready for the Lunch date with her foster moms she began feeling more and more apprehensive. Her hands were shaking as she picked out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt from her dresser. She quickly changed and let out a huge sigh. "Everything alright?" asked her foster sister and roommate, Marianna. "Yea, I was just about to go out to lunch with Lena and Stef" Callie said as she shoved her hands into the front pocket of her sweatshirt, trying to hide her nervousness. "Okay" Marianna said, sounding unconvinced "Have fun". Callie let out a small chuckle at that as she headed out the door of her room
Callie could hear her heartbeat in her ears by the time she got downstairs. At the sight of their foster daughter the stood up from where they were sitting on the couch and smiled. "Ready to go?" asked Stef. Callie nodded and followed Lena and Stef out the door.
"You know, we don't bite" said Lena, smiling at Callie in the rearview mirror. She had noticed how nervous Callie looked from the second she came downstairs. Lena didn't know where they would even start to help Callie; she had been through so much at such a young age. Neither of them knew how much pain she was really feeling.
After about 10 minutes they arrived at a small Italian restaurant. "I hope you like Italian" Said Stef as she opened the teenager's door. Callie got out and hoped that they didn't notice the tremor in her legs. This is it, she thought, for the first time I am actually going to face my problems instead of just shoving them behind this smile.
Once they sat down at a somewhat private table in the back of the already small restaurant a waitress showed up and asked them for their drink order. "We'll all get water" said Lena. Stef poked Callie and said "She was always the health nut" which made Callie laugh. Once the waitress left Lena and Stef exchanged a glance and looked at Callie. "Where do we start?" announced Stef.
Lena took control "Let's start with Liam; I hope you know that this was not your fault." Callie was relieved they did not begin with what happened the night before. "I know. I just wish I could have prevented it though, for Jude." Stef jumped in "I don't think that could have been possible, so don't blame yourself. " Callie nodded. "I'm guessing you know that I am going to have to report this to Bill?" Callie tensed up; this was her fear from day one. She had loved living with the Fosters and she knew that this meant she would be put in a group home for being 'sexually suggestive'. "Please, don't put me in a group home." Callie pleaded. "Why would we ever put you in a group home? We need to report this to Bill so we can get Sarah out of the Olmstead's home and place a restraining order on Liam" Lena countered. Callie was confused; all Liam ever told her was that if she ever said anything she would be put into a group home. "Really? I thought I would be marked as sexually suggestive and placed in a group home" Callie suggested. Lena was astonished at her reasoning, "This was not your fault that would only happen if this was your fault but I repeat this was not your fault"
Callie felt better already; she began to really trust Lena and Stef. "Don't get too attached Callie" She thought to herself "You will not be able to stay here very long". Just as she was about to say something to them the waitress appeared with their drinks, "Are you all ready to order?"
When the waitress disappeared into the kitchen Stef started again "So sometime soon we will have you talk with Bill about what happened and all the details, will that be okay? Or do you need some more time?" As soon as Stef began trailing off Callie interrupted and said "No, that should be fine" Callie hoped that she would be able to hold it together when she was talking to Bill, she had never even met him. "Will one of you be there?" Callie questioned, hoping that she would have some support when telling her story for the second time. "Of course sweetie, if you want us there then we will certainly come along" Lena answered.
Callie smiled "Thanks". She felt so comfortable with talking to them. The only person she had ever felt this close to was Jude. Callie wished that they would adopt her and Jude, but she knew that would never happen, they already had enough children and Callie would be a burden to live with.
"Okay" Stef chimed in "Now let's talk about who we are going to tell about this. Do you want the other children to know anything about this?" Callie's smile vanished from her face "Well, Jude already knows, other than that I want the other kids to know, but just not the specifics. And also, can you guys be the ones to tell them? I don't want to have to be there when it happens, I get too emotional." Stef was surprised that a 12 year old Jude knew about this. Most 12 year olds that she met barely even knew what rape was. But when she thought about it, most 12 year olds she knew hadn't been placed in many different abusive foster homes. "Lena and I can tell them for you, no problem. I completely understand. Right Lena?" Lena agreed. Callie was pleased "Okay, thanks so much. I guess that's all we need to talk about." She was obviously trying to avoid the incident last night, and she was hoping Lena and Stef wouldn't bring it up. No one ever knew about Callie's self-harm, not even Jude, and she didn't really want to stop. Self-harm was the only thing keeping Callie alive, it made the pain go away.
"Hold on, Missy, you know there is still something we need to talk about." Lena pointed out. Callie gulped "uh..." Before anyone could continue, the waitress entered with their food "Everything look good?" she asked and everyone nodded. With this she left them to continue their conversation. Callie's legs were shaking under the table and she felt a pain in her chest. She wished she could hide under a rock. Stef was first to interject "Lena told me earlier what happened last night. You could have come and talked to us." Callie found this hard to believe "It was the middle of the night, you were both asleep" she said, although she would not have talked to them if they were standing right in front of her. Stef looked at her with and said "You can wake us up; Lena is usually watching Law & Order at all hours anyways." This made them all laugh. Callie was glad that they were not angry at her. Lena was the first to ask a question "How long has this been going on? The cutting I mean." Callie looked down in her lap and mumbled "About 3 years" Both of them were shocked. She had been hurting herself for 3 years and nobody had ever noticed or cared. Callie blurted out "But this is the first time in a few months that I have done it, this first time in your house. I was just feeling really triggered last night." Although Lena certainly did not want Callie self-harming, she understood that she might have felt very low last night, after telling them about Liam. It must have brought up many emotions that she never actually dealt with. She pondered this for a moment and finally said "next time you feel triggered like that I need you to come to me or Stef. I don't care if it is 3 in the morning or noon; we will never turn you down do you understand? I don't want you to be scared to ashamed to talk to us; we will never judge you and we will always help you through it okay?" At this point they were all finished eating and Callie was choking up a little. No one had ever been this compassionate to her; no one had ever cared about her. She could see how much this was hurting her foster moms and she decided she would do her best to stop cutting. "Okay" she said "I'll try to quit cutting" and for the first time, she actually meant it.