Hey guys!
I'm not even going to bother apologizing anymore, you guy's are all probably sick of it. I made the Chapter a bit bigger to try and make up for it :)
I promise I am trying to be quicker! And the anonymous review I got yesterday telling me to get my ass into gear did help, so thanks for that!
Big shout out to all my reviewers:
Liz, Tascar19, mezkoala, Lala-Pll-Time, and a big shout out Arcawolf for the detailed review, see... I'm sort of getting there haha.
And of course thanks to all the anonymous reviews as well. And also special thanks to Tascar19 and Lala-Pll-Time, for your consistent support, it really means a lot!
As always, all mistakes are mine!
"Ready to face the music?" Paige questions as she slowly stands up, "and by music I mean Hannah."
Aria smirked slightly and moved to get up, only to remember why she'd stayed in that position in the first place. Paige watched silently as the smaller girl struggled to stand; not sure whether or not she should offer to help. But as a hiss escaped Aria's lips after her bruised ribs grinded against each other, Paige couldn't watch anymore.
"Here, give me your hand."
"I'm fine," The words she'd used so many times coming out as if they had become her automatic response.
"No you're not," Paige's retort was simple and she crouched down and wrapped her arm around Aria's shoulder (despite her protests), before helping her up off the ground. "It's okay not to be fine you know? I thought we already discussed this."
"Yeah I know," Aria's response was mumbled as she looked down at the ground, concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other.
The walked silently back into the house, stopping just before the door.
"They just want you to be okay Aria, they care about you and they just want to help," She said looking at the girl before opening the back door, "You should let them."
"Couch?" Paige asked as she helped guide Aria into the living room, Aria just nodding trying to get away from her grip (with no avail). Aria settles onto the couch, closing her eyes as she leans back against the pillows, ignoring the concerned glances she receives from her friends.
"C'mon Caleb, we're leaving," Paige announces, leaving no room for argument in her statement.
"What?" He and Hannah ask at the same time, looking up at her sudden statement.
"We're going," She answered back simply.
"Ah where?" Caleb asked with a perplexed look.
"Shopping."
"Seriously?"
"No," Paige replied, rolling her eyes as she grabbed him by the arm, pulling him out the door. "Call me if you need anything." The statement was general, but Aria knew it was directed her. She looked up from her place on the couch smiling slightly as Paige, and a still baffled Caleb left the house.
"So…" Hannah broke the silence, moving to sit next to Aria on the couch.
"Look Hannah, I never wanted to come between you and Caleb, he was just there and I needed to speak to someone, and I…" Hannah cut her off before she could continue.
"Aria I don't care about that, I couldn't give a shit about that," Hannah says desperately "I'm pissed at the fact that couldn't talk to me, to us! I can get through all the fighting and all the crazy, but I can't get over the fact that you didn't come to us! That you went to Caleb instead!"
"I didn't want to worry you guys, you all had enough to worry about, besides it's not that bad!" Aria insists trying to justify her actions.
"Okay Aria first off, look at you!" Spencer says, coming into the conversation, "It is that bad!"
"And Aria, we always have time for you, no matter what the time of day, you know that!" Emily pleads.
"Yeah I do," The smaller girls answers quietly.
"Then why didn't you come to us?" Hannah asked desperately, trying to figure it all out.
"Because I don't deserve you!" Aria shoots back, her words sounding so broken. "Look I know you guys are there for me, you always are! And I hate that!"
The girls look at her in confusion, her contradictory sentence supplying no answers.
"You've all been through so much, yet here you are, looking out for me! And I've gone through nothing compared to all of you, nothing! And I can't even handle that!" She yells, her raise in volume startling Hannah, who she's sitting next too, "Don't you see, this, all of this, this was my doing, no one forced me into it, no one made me do it. It was my choice. And I never meant for it to go this far, but it did. But that's not your fault, and you shouldn't have to deal with my choice; you've got enough shit going on without my problems."
By the time she's finished she has tears running down her face, between the early morning conversations with Spencer, the confessions to page, and the latest reveal, Aria was completely and utterly, emotionally exhausted.
"Aria…" Spencer tried to intervene.
"Don't try to tell me I'm wrong Spence," Aria sighed.
"But you are wrong," Spencer answered "And I'm the smart one, so I'm always right."
Aria smiled slightly at Spencer's sense of humour.
"Aria, you've had to face so much crap over the last few years, but no matter what happened no matter what A threw at you, you were always there for us," Emily insists. "Without you we would've fallen apart a long time ago, let us return the favour!"
"Look guys I really appreciate everything, but I'm fine okay?" Aria continued to insist, "It's not usually this bad."
"Is that supposed to reassure us?" Spence shoots back, "What? It's all good because usually it's not that bad? Aria look at you! If you keep this up you are going to get the crap beaten out of you!"
"You know what Spence, despite what you think, I can actually take care of myself!" Aria yelled, standing up, ignoring the pain in the ribcage, "I won last night, don't you get that?"
"Why the fuck does that matter so much to you?" Spencer yelled, taking a step closer.
"Because if I can beat someone like that, then I can protect us from A!"
"Aria…"
"Because I'm sick of all this shit! I'm sick of being scared, I'm sick of being weak and defenceless, and I'm sick of not knowing where or when A's going to strike next! And if I can beat someone like the guy last night, then maybe I can actually sleep with both eyes closed, maybe I can protect myself, and maybe I can protect you guys too!"
"Aria listen…"
"It was never meant to go this far, I promise," Aria sighed, rubbing her hands over her face, looking up at her friends, meeting their gaze one at a time; searching for something, but it's only as she locks eyes with Spencer, she realises she has no idea what she's looking for.
"It's okay Aria," Emily insists, taking a step closer so she's standing next to Spencer.
"I just wanted control of something! A hobby or something to take my mind off everything! And I figured I could kill two bird with one stone, I thought maybe I could finally protect you guys from everything!" Aria forced out, tears flowing freely down her face as she finally starts to break, falling back on the couch.
"You don't have to protect us Aria, we're in this together!" Emily says with the softness in her voice, that only she could muster.
"And next time you want hobby?" Hannah speaks from her place on couch next to the smaller girl, placing her arm around Aria's should pulling her so her head rests on the blondes shoulder. "Take up knitting,"
The small joke helps to relieve some of the built up tension in the room, and even Aria manages to let out a small chuckle.
Because here she was, sitting with the three most important people in her world.
And despite everything she's gotten herself involved in.
They were still here.
And it's taken her this long to realise that they always have been.
And today's proved they always will be.
So she finally lets herself give in.
Give in to the emotion,
Give in to the pain,
Give into the exhaustion.
"I'm really tired,"
And with those words all of the walls she's been holding up, finally come crashing down.
Because those words were admitting more than weariness.
They were admitting that she needed help.
And they were a sign that she was ready to accept it.
And for that very reason, at that very moment; they were Spencer's favourite words in the entire world.
"Come here," Hanna said softly, pulling Aria's head into her lap, absent minded stroking her hair.
Within seconds Aria was completely passed out in Hannah's safe grasp, Emily quietly moving to lift the smaller girl's legs onto the couch. They stayed there in silence for a few minutes, all just enjoying the serenity of the moment; until Spencer broke the silence.
"You know this isn't over yet right?"
"What do you mean?" Emily asked desperately, not taking her eyes of Aria.
"A told me about this," She answered gesturing down to Aria "A never does anything without reason."
"So what do you think they're going to do?" Hannah questioned desperately.
"I have absolutely no idea."
Because out of everything that's happening, Spencer just can't figure it out.
Because if they didn't find out about this, Aria could've hurt herself, badly.
But isn't that what A always wanted?
So why was Spencer sent that text at all?
What did A have to gain?
And despite the scenarios running through her head, she just couldn't figure it out.
But she knew one thing;
She knew this was far from over.
It had been an hour and a half since Aria had passed out in the safe grasp of her friend; and in that time Hannah hadn't moved, except for the continuous motion of running her fingers through the smaller girls' hair. Spencer and Emily had also taken their respective spots in the lounge room; all three of them keeping the voice to the bare minimum so as not to disturb there friend. Although after the A revelation from Spencer, none of them really felt up to talking anyway.
"Guys?" Hannah spoke up, breaking the silence, "I need to pee."
And if it wasn't for the situation, Spencer would've laughed at the blondes' desperate statement.
"Really Hannah?" Emily questions incredulously, "Can't you hold it or something?"
"I've been holding it for the last hour!" She shoots back her voice rising a little.
"Sshhh!" Spencer whispers, "Just wait a bit longer Han, please? I don't think she's slept properly in days!"
"But Spencer…" Hannah pleads desperately.
"Hannah ju…"
"Its fine Han," Aria's voice startles them, as she opens her eyes, a slight smile on her face after catching part of her friend's conversation.
"Aria!" Spencer says with a smile, "Did we wake you?"
"No, I was just silently enjoying that conversation," She answers with a smile, still making no attempt to get up.
"Hey Aria, glad your awake and everything, but I really need to pee!" Hannah says desperately as she starts to lift Aria into a sitting position so she can escape.
"Right, sorry, I'm moving!" She answers attempting to sit up, wincing slightly as Hannah pushes her up faster than she was prepared for.
"Easy Han!" Emily directs, as she supports before Aria, taking Hannah's place on the couch, allowing Aria to rest against her shoulder.
"Shit, sorry Aria!" Hannah exclaimed, after she realised what she did.
"It's fine Han, go pee!" She said with a slight chuckle as their blonde friend made a be-line for the bathroom. The two girls joined in Aria's laughing as Hannah stumbled on the carpet.
"Anyway, you feeling any better Aria?" Emily asked, the concern back in her voice as she looked down at her friend resting on her shoulder.
"Yeah I'm pretty good," She answers back with a smile, before catching Spencer's dubious and doubtful look and adding, "All things considered."
"Problem solved!" Hannah announced as she walked back into the room.
"Feeling better Han?" Emily asked with a chuckle.
"Much! Now who's up for afternoon tea/early dinner? I'm thinking something with fries?" The blonde asks with a smile, looking at everyone, though they all knew the question is mainly directed at Aria, hence why the other two didn't respond, instead looking to the smaller girl for an answer.
"Yeah sounds good," She answers with a forced smile, before slowly forcing herself up off the couch, "You guys order something, I'm just going to go take a shower."
"Do you need a hand?" Emily asks, as she helped her to stand up.
"Emily your girlfriend's already suspicious over the fact you asked me to take my shirt off, I don't think she'll take too kindly to you showering with me," Aria answers with a smile, though It didn't take a genius to see the brunettes humour was an attempt to change the subject.
"I meant up the stairs," Emily answers back with a laugh, playing along with Aria's humour.
"Thanks Em, I'll be fine," She responds with a smile before turning to make her way up the stairs.
"Are you su…." Emily begins to dispute, before getting cut off by Spencer.
"Just let her go Em, she'll be fine."
And Spencer's still not sure whose benefit those words were for.
"Guys it's been like 20 minutes, should we check on her?" Hannah questioned, still watching the stairs for any sign of her friend.
"I'll go," Spencer answered, not leaving any room for discussion as she turned to ascend the staircase.
After not hearing the shower running, Spencer concluded that the only place for her friend to be was her room.
"Aria?" She asked before knocking on her bedroom door which was slightly ajar. After receiving no response, she pushed the door open.
"Oh Aria," Spencer said with a sigh as she saw her friend. Aria was standing in front of Spencer's mirror in nothing but shorts and her sports bra, staring at her own reflection. Examining the bruising that was spreading over her body, tears silently making their way down her face.
"I don't know how it got this bad," She sobbed.
"Aria…"
"How the fuck did this happen?" She pleaded desperately. "Who does this to themselves, what's wrong with me?"
"Aria there's nothing wrong with you!"
"Really? Because I'm standing here, literally covered in bruises, and all I can think of is how much I want to get back in that ring, how fucked up is that?"
"What do you mean?"
"I need something, I need to hit something, I need, I need, I need…." She trailed off her breaths increasing as her fists clenched at her side, ignoring the pain that it sent shooting through her knuckles.
"Okay Aria, look at me, look at me," Spencer said grabbing her shoulders, leading her to sit on the edge of the bed "Breath okay, just breathe." As Aria's breathing slowly levelled out, Spencer pulled Aria's hands open and grabbed them tightly.
"Any time you feel like this, I'll be here okay?" Spencer says as she looks into her friends eyes. "I'll hold your hand, I'll take you for a run, and we'll do something to take your mind off everything, give you something else to hold onto okay? You're not alone Aria, we're here for you, anytime, anyplace."
"Go for a run?" Aria questioned with a smile.
"Okay, maybe something else."
"Just promise me something okay?" Spencer asked, looking at her best friend, "Promise me you'll stop, promise me you'll at least try."
Aria nodded mutely, trying to stop the tears running down her face.
"And promise me, when you start feeling like this, you'll call one of us, me, Emily, Hannah, Caleb, any of us, we'll be here in a heartbeat okay? Whenever you need us!"
Aria just nodded again, turning to Spencer and hugging her tightly, never wanting to let go.
"You're going to be okay Ar, we'll get through this, you're gonna be fine!" Spencer said, tears starting to fall down her face as well.
They stayed in that embrace long enough to prompt there friends to come up looking for them, and when Emily and Hannah walked into the room to find their two friends with a tight grasp on each other, they turned and left the room without another word. Deciding not to mention Aria's lack off clothing or the bruises that it was revealing.
"Enough of the tears, let's go eat!" Spencer said with a smile, pulling away wiping the tears from her face.
"Yeah," Aria agrees, nodding as she too tries to clean away the tear tracks, "Spence?" She asked hesitantly as her friend stands up.
"Yeah?"
"Can you um…" She trailed off, looking down at her uncovered body and the shirt that laid on the bed, "I can't quite, you know…"
It took Spencer a few more seconds then she cares to admit, but she finally figures out what her friend is asking.
"Oh! Yeah sure, come here," She answers with a smile as she grabs the shirt, and helps place it over Aria's head, "Hey it's nothing to be embarrassed about alright, come on, let's go eat."
Aria responds with a smile as they both make their way downstairs. The rest of the afternoon and night were filled with, movies, food, talk and in Aria's case, ice packs. It was all almost enough to allow the girls to forget everything that had gone on over the last few weeks.
Enough to make them think it could all be okay.
But the moment was too good to last, they all subconsciously knew that.
But it wasn't until later that night that the serenity was broken.
At around 2:13 am when Aria checked her phone.
To find one unread message.
One message that would leave her with an impossible choice.
One message that would force her to break the promise
One message that could ruin everything.
'This Friday night, same place, you fight and you win… Or your friends lose. - A'
Please review and let me know what you think, or if there's anything you'd like me to include!
Did you like the bigger chapter?
I'll try to update faster I promise!