Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I know I'm a terrible person, but I promise on my life I will finish this story!
So I finally got Toby in this chapter, yay!
Thank you guys so much for the reviews, if it wasn't for you guys I'd probably take longer to update (hard to imagine I know).
So shout outs:
lala-pll-time, Forever Courage, ZombiepiEs, Audrey, ComeOnWe'reTeamSparia (love the username btw), justapllfangirl, Tascar19.
You guys are insanely awesome!
As always all mistakes are mine :)
It had been six days since she's received that message.
Six days of going back and forth with her decision.
Six days of constant un-ease.
And in those six days, all of her friends have been nothing but supportive.
And if she's being completely honest she kind of hates that a little;
Because she can't help but feel if they were just that little bit less supportive, that the decision might be easier to make.
But they're not and it isn't.
Because her friends have been absolutely incredible (all of them in their own way).
Hannah came by Spencer's house early Monday morning, make up in hand. She helped to cover up the yellowing bruises, ensuring Aria wouldn't have to answer any unwanted questions; and then proceeded to death stare anyone who did see through the façade.
Caleb checked in on her every night, with simple one to two word messages. No pressure, no expectations, just checking in, letting her know he was there (just like he had been).
Emily had the uncanny ability to know when she needed a subject change. When she needed to talk about something, anything other than what everyone else wanted to discuss.
Paige knew all the good places to hide, to just get away from everyone, and everything. Friends, teachers, work, whenever she just needed to escape, Paige was there to take her away from it all.
Toby didn't interact with Aria, he spent his time looking out for his girlfriend. Aria appreciated that more than anything. Because for six days Spencer spent every minute looking out for her; she needed someone to lookout for herself.
For six days, Spencer and her friends had done nothing but be there for her.
And she wanted to honest with them.
But she needs to protect them.
And that's what it keeps coming back too.
Because she knows about the promise she made to Spencer (It's the last thing that crosses her mind every night before she goes to sleep).
And she hates lying to her.
She hates how disappointed she knows Spencer will be.
But after six days of the second guessing and the back forth, it came down to this.
Because yes, she would be breaking her promise to her best friend.
Yes, Spencer would be disappointed in her.
And she might not forgive her.
But if she let Spencer, or anyone else get hurt, she'd never forgive herself.
Not when she had the chance to stop them.
So that's how she ended up here, back in the place she promised she'd stay away from.
Ready for the fight of her life, concentrating as if her life depended on it.
Because as far as she was concerned, it basically did.
"Spencer, come to bed!" Toby pleads, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at his girlfriend who's standing at her window, looking down at her phone.
"Why won't she text me back?" She asked desperately, as if Toby hadn't spoken at all.
"Spence, I'm sure she's fine," He insisted moving up to grab her phone from her hands.
"How do you know that?" She yells back, pulling her phone away from him, "You didn't see her the other day, she's a wreck!"
"Maybe she just needs some time to herself, without everyone watching her all the time,"
"Are you saying I'm smothering her?"
"Spence, that's not what I said…"
"I have to be there for her!"
"I never said you didn…"
"You don't understand!" She yelled cutting him off completely, tears threatening to spill over.
"Then help me to." He answered back sternly, grabbing her hands and leading her to the edge of her bed.
"I wasn't there for her, I.. I.. I was distracted and I didn't realise, I didn't see what she was doing, and she, she…" She trailed off, leaning into her boyfriend's grasp, tears finally falling.
"Spencer…"
"It's my fault!" She said through tears.
And for the first time over the last week she finally let herself break down, in the safe hands of her boyfriend.
Because for the last week, she did nothing but watch her friend contently.
Every morning, and every night.
She paid attention to every little detail.
It was all she thought about.
And that allowed her to bury the guilt.
To ignore the self-hatred that had been building up inside her.
Because despite what everyone (including Aria) continued to tell her, this was her fault.
And she wouldn't believe otherwise.
How could she?
How could this not be her fault?
Because she's her best friend, and as she looks back over everything, the signs were all there.
It was so fucking obvious!
Someone should've noticed;
She should've noticed
Because she's Spencer Hastings, she see's everything.
But she didn't see this,
And she can't for the life of her figure out why not.
And she can't forgive herself.
"Spencer, it's not your fault," Toby insisted desperately, interrupting her thoughts. "You did everything you could,"
"No I didn't," She admitted for the first time, "I knew something was wrong, but I didn't do anything, I just, I just let it go, I believed her when she said she was fine, I knew she was lying, but I didn't do anything, I just, I just I…"
Toby just held her closer as she broke down.
"Hey look at me," he said as he turned her tear stained face to look at him, "I don't know Aria that well, but I know if she didn't want you to know, then you weren't going too."
"I should've known," She muttered, before Toby continued, pretending as if she didn't say anything.
"I don't know Aria, but I do know you! And I know you would do anything for your friends, that's why I love you! That's what makes you such an incredible person!" Toby insisted with a smile. "You've spent the last six days focusing on nothing but your best friend Spence, that's what makes you so amazing!".
"Don't you get it though, if I had of noticed in the first place I wouldn't have had too!"
"You can't blame yourself for this, It's not your fault she started all of this crap!" Toby shoots back, finding himself getting angrier at Aria.
"Yes I can, I have to!"
"Why?"
"Because otherwise it's her fault!"
And there it was, what she's been trying to avoid for the last six days.
"What?" Toby questioned, slightly confused.
"If I don't blame myself, then I'm going to blame her!"
"So you're angry at her?" Toby pressed trying to get his girlfriend to open up.
"Angry? I'm pissed!" She yelled standing up, "I'm pissed off that she didn't talk to us, I'm pissed off that she thought this would be a good idea, and I'm pissed at how fucking selfish she was!"
"Spencer.."
"She didn't even think about this would affect us, she just went off and did it, and she said it was a mistake, that she was sorry; but how am I supposed to believe her after she lied to us for so long?" Spencer yelled back, continuing when Toby didn't have an answer, "You know what maybe you're right, maybe it is her fault!"
"Spencer I never said it was her fault," He interrupts, "It's no one's fault Spence, not Aria's and certainly not yours. It got too much and she made some shit decisions, but you can't blame her, and you can't keep blaming yourself. You can't change what's happened Spence all you can do is help her, like you have been for the last six days."
Spencer looks up at him nodding slightly, wiping her tears from her face, falling into is embrace again, "I just feel like I could have done something, you know? Like I could have tried harder."
"I don't believe that for a second," Toby whispered into her ear, "And you shouldn't either."
He pulled her back down to the bed and they stayed like that for a while, relishing in each other's company.
"Why isn't she answering her phone? What if she's doing it again?" Spencer broke the silence, checking her phone again
"She promised you she wouldn't right?" Toby asked in a soothing tone.
Spencer nodded mutely, still staring at her phone.
"Trust her,"
And Toby would regret those words for days to come.
But at that moment, they calmed her down.
The words provided comfort and reassurance.
And his girlfriend deserved that.
He may not know everything that's been going on;
But he knows that much.
"Let's go to bed Spence," He pulled her under the covers, wrapping his arms safely around her. And for the first time in six days, Spencer felt herself relax, feeling safe in her boyfriend's embrace.
It took less than five minutes for the moment to be interrupted by the loud, rapid knocking on the door.
"What the hell is that?" Toby muttered as Spencer slowly rolled out of bed, stumbling slightly before making her way downstairs. "Spencer, wait," he whispered, trying to catch up to her.
"Relax Toby, I seriously doubt A would knock," Spencer says with a chuckle as she opens the door.
But in that moment every ounce of humour she had, evaporated in a heartbeat.
There at her door, stood her best friend.
Her light grey hoodie drenched, from the onslaught of the rain; her gym shorts providing little defense from the harsh conditions. She was leaning heavily on the door frame. Blood dripping out of her swollen nose, the rain diluting the colour, and forcing it to seep into her jacket.
Her body was visibly shivering, she was breathing deeply, wincing with each breath and Spencer was fairly certain she didn't even hear her the door open.
"Aria…" Spencer asked, a questioning tone in her voice, as if she wasn't entirely sure it was her.
Aria jumped slightly at the intrusion of her thoughts, turning to look into the disappointed and broken face of her best friend. She opened her mouth to say something, but it quickly turned into a wet cough, blood spluttering onto her hoodie sleeve that brought up to cover her mouth.
Spencer stood in shock; staring in disbelief at the state of her best friend.
Because she promised.
She fucking promised.
Yet here they were again.
And Spencer had absolutely no idea what to do.
She was so angry.
Deep down, logically, she knew Aria would have a reason
But all logical thoughts were washed from her mind the second she opened that door.
She's not sure how long she was standing there, before she moved forward, grabbing Aria and pulling her inside.
The shorter girl stumbled forward (not entirely sure which parts of her body was broken), falling into Spencer, who stumbled slightly, but regained her balance. She wrapped her arms tightly around her friend, ignoring the fact that her pajamas were getting drenched.
"What the hell did you do?" She whispered into her friend's ear, not letting her go.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Aria muttered, over and over again.
And as Spencer stood there holding onto her best friend, listening to her whisper apology after apology in her ear; there was only one coherent thought that bubbled it's way up through the anger.
When did it start raining?
Please tell me what you thought, more Toby, less Toby?
Next chapter, more Sparia moments, yay!
See you guys soon (hopefully)