"You're going to kill me one of these days, you freak," Elliot joked as he collapsed on Johanna's bed. His unclothed body glistened from beads of sweat.
Johanna laughed as she stood up and walked into the bathroom that connected to her bedroom. "What's wrong, grandpa? Can't keep up?"
"Very funny," he retorted as he watched the girl's flawless naked body stand in front of the sink, brushing her teeth to rid her mouth of his juices.
The two yet again had mind-blowing Sunday-morning sex, which exhausted Elliot's body. He was used to very minimal sexual activity, 30-minute sex in the missionary position: his ex-wife's demands. But Johanna would go for over an hour, in so many different positions, moving in ways Elliot didn't think was possible.
He watched her womanly figure carefully, examining all of her curves and features. He couldn't help but compare his relationship with his ex-wife to his relationship with the redhead, but he wondered if maybe Kathy's boring ways was a result of the many nights she spent alone taking care of their four children while Elliot worked. Of course she didn't want to have wild sex with him on the rare nights that he was home before she fell asleep. He wondered if Kathy would have Joanna-esque qualities if they hadn't had children, though he could never imagine a life without his kids.
"What are you doing today?" He wondered as the girl rinsed the toothpaste out of her mouth.
"You mean besides you?" She smirked as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, drying her hands with a blue towel and eyeing the naked body on her bed.
Though he tried to fight it, a smile crept onto Elliot's face as his own eyes scanned the naked body in front of him. "Yes, besides me."
She walked over to the calendar on her wall and pointed to the current day on the open month of March.
"Mail monthly reports, pick up clothes from the dry cleaner," she read aloud with her back to Elliot, giving him full view of her bare ass. "Print out and laminate new therapy cards and-"
Her heart stopped in her chest when she read the next line she had written down: 'Pick up birth control from pharmacy.'
"And what?" Elliot asked.
Johanna felt like she couldn't breathe. If she had to pick up her new pack of birth control from the pharmacy that day, that meant she should currently be on her period. And she wasn't.
In an attempt to play off the abrupt weirdness, she smiled and glanced over her shoulder then replied, "And bang Elliot's brains out."
"Well you can check one of those things off your list," he teased as he smiled at her.
She laughed slightly, trying to shake off the sudden realization, but she was panicking. Her mind was racing at a million miles a minute. She should've started her period days ago – how could she not notice how late her cycle was?
As she climbed back into bed, she tried to convince herself that there was no way she could be pregnant. She just couldn't be. She took her pill regularly, and Elliot didn't always release inside of her.
Regardless, she was not prepared to be pregnant again. She would not be able to handle it. Last time she was pregnant, her life spiraled down the drain, and she was finally climbing out of the gutters – she would not allow that to happen again.
She had to find out for sure.
The next morning, Johanna picked up a pregnancy test, and when she arrived at work, she grabbed Grace and dragged her into the bathroom to be her support as she peed on the little white stick.
Time moved slowly – almost standing still. The white walls of the bathroom were either expanding or closing in - Johanna was so dizzy she wasn't sure which one it was.
She stared at the plastic stick on the bathroom counter as she leaned against the wall to steady herself. That stupid, life-altering, sickening, baby-confirmation stick that might possibly ruin her life.
"You look like you're going to throw up," Grace commented as she leaned against the bathroom wall in their workplace next to her friend, who was turning greener by the second.
"I feel like I'm going to," Johanna responded pitifully.
"Nerves or morning sickness?" Grace joked with a nervous laugh.
Johanna glared at her sternly. "Not funny."
"Sorry," Grace apologized. "Just trying to lighten the mood."
Johanna sighed. "What am I going to do?"
"You may not have to do anything," Grace reminded her. "You don't know yet."
"I can't even properly date Elliot," Johanna continued, ignoring Grace's reminder. "How am I going to have a baby with him?!"
"Stop it," Grace interjected sympathetically. "Wait till you find out for sure before you lose your shit."
"You're right," Johanna sighed.
They grew quiet as the minutes gradually passed.
"It's been three minutes," Grace stated.
"I can't look," Johanna told her, covering her face with her hands. "You do it."
Grace nodded and took a few steps toward the counter. She glanced down at it but didn't react.
"Two pink lines mean you're pregnant? One means you're not?" Grace wondered.
"Right," Johanna answered, removing her hands from her face.
Grace stared at the test but didn't say anything.
"Well?" Johanna pressed.
"I-I can't tell," Grace shrugged her shoulders.
"What?" Johanna pushed herself off the wall and walked over the counter beside Grace.
"Look." Grace pointed. "There's another pink line, but barely."
Johanna focused on the pregnancy test intently. Grace was right – there was another pink line but it was very faint.
"Does it say anything in the directions about faint pink lines?" Grace asked.
Johanna picked up the box and reread the back of it for the fiftieth time that morning. "No, nothing. Damnit, I knew I should've gotten the test that said 'YES' or 'NO' in actual, exact words."
"So what now?" Grace wondered.
"I'm pretty sure even a faint pink line means I'm pregnant. But I have to go to the doctor and find out for sure," Johanna told her. "This is killing me."
"You need to talk to Elliot," Grace suggested. "It might make you feel better."
"How would that make me feel better?" Johanna wondered.
"Because," her friend responded. "Maybe he'll be excited, he's crazy about you, and besides, doesn't he have like four kids already?"
"Yeah, with his wife when he was married to her for fifteen years! Not with a girl he's been sleeping with for a few months who can't commit to shit!" Johanna spat.
"Just go talk to him," Grace reiterated. "Maybe he'll freak out, maybe he won't, I don't know, but I do know that you two need to talk about this before anything else happens. He would want to know."
Grace thought about Johanna's past experiences, and she knew that if she didn't tell Elliot soon, she most likely would run off and terminate the pregnancy, and he would be left having no idea of his fifth child.
Johanna paced back and forth across Elliot's porch, visibly freaking out. She was waiting for him to arrive home from work, but if he didn't pull up soon, she was going to bolt. She avoided things that scared her, and the idea of having to tell Elliot she was pregnant didn't just scare her – it terrified her.
She knew he wouldn't take the news as good news. Maybe he wouldn't treat it as bad news, but he wouldn't be happy about it. But because he was a good family man, she knew he wouldn't walk away. He'd stay and help her with the baby, but it would be out of obligation, not out of desire to actually be a family.
Just as she turned around to run for her life, Elliot's car pulled up and parked on the road in front of his house.
"Hey you," Elliot greeted with a genuine smile as he got out of his car, holding his mail in his hands.
Johanna smiled softly in response, knowing if she opened her mouth, she would only be able to blurt her news. Her heart melted. She wasn't ready to ruin Elliot's life or make his sweet smile to falter. She didn't want to dim the brightness in his amazing grey/green eyes.
"What are you doing here?" He wondered as he sauntered up the walkway. He noticed a slightly panicked expression on her face. "You okay?"
She nodded, still not able to speak, as he approached her. He placed a soft kiss on her lips; she had to force herself to kiss him back.
"Come in." He motioned for her to follow him inside his house, and she did.
She followed him all the way into the kitchen, watching as Elliot began to shuffle through his mail.
"What brings you out here?" He wondered, reading the papers in his hands.
"I'm pregnant," Johanna blurted. Word vomit, she thought to herself.
The mail fell from Elliot's limp hands as he looked up at her in disbelief. Disbelief was right – he scanned her face waiting for her to crack and laugh and admit that she was joking. But she didn't.
To her, his look said it all. She had just singlehandedly ruined everything.