Five days later, Noah was strong enough to start the radiation treatment. He was moved to a germ free room. At this point, nobody was allowed to go into Noah's room but a few nurses and Joe. Bob would only enter if he was needed. Everyone else had to see Noah through a sealed window. They started the radiation process and when they killed all the bone marrow cells in Noah's body, marrow harvested from Ethan was processed and injected into Noah. It would be two to three weeks before they knew if the tread had worked. The weeks turned into a waiting game for all. Ethan was up and running around two days later.
-P-
During this waiting period, Luke, Lily, Holden, Lucinda and Emma began to watch the tapes. Some days, they only got through one or two, depending on how hard it was for Luke. When Noah was talking about his father, Emma could be heard a few times saying "that bastard," which surprised them all. It wasn't very often that Emma swore.
The hardest video was Noah's last will. It was the one that tore out their hearts.
"If you are viewing this video, then I've passed on," began Noah. "I wanted to let each one of you know how much I cared for you."
"To the Snyder clan in Oakdale, Illinois, you are the craziest people that I've ever met in my entire life." Noah laughed. "So much dysfunction, but out of chaos, rises up a love that I can't even begin to describe. I think that is what makes you all so special. How you go from punching each other out at Thanksgiving, to having each other's back a few days later, is just mind blowing to anyone who is from the outside. There is a reason why everyone in Oakdale knows that you never fuck with a Snyder. At first I thought you were all actually crazy but I grew to appreciate the love you all share for one another and for the strays like me that you pick up along the way."
"Holden, thank you for showing me what a real father is supposed to be like. Your love, tenderness and forgiveness meant very much to me. I know that you didn't like me after my father shot Luke and I knew where that was coming from but I know you grew to love me, just like one of your own and I will always cherish that love. You love Luke so much and it shows every time you think of him. Please take care of him for me. He will need you now more than ever. I know it's not much but I would like for you to have my truck. Use it on the farm, so I can be there with you for as long as it survives." Holden was crying openly at Noah's words to him. He loved that boy like his own son.
"Lily, you were the mother I always wanted to have. You accepted me as one of your kids from almost the very start and I really appreciated it. I wish your investment in my eyes yielded better long term results but it was not meant to be. I want to thank you for always being there for me, even after Luke was shot. You always had time for me, even while you were juggling your own family and work. I'm still not sure how you even managed to multi-task so much." Lily was crying now.
"I know you love Holden with all your heart and I know he loves you the same way. Please don't be like me and fritter away any more time. I found out too late what Luke needed me to give him but you have the time to rekindle your love. Kids learn a lot from their parents. Teach them that it's never too late to fix a problem and that happy endings do exist." Holden grabbed Lily's hand in his and they gave each other a quick tearful glance.
"Emma, I think you were the first one in the family that loved me other than Luke. That first Christmas that you asked me to stay at the farm was one of the happiest times in my life and I want you to know how much it meant to me. I told Luke that day that you were unlike anyone I had ever met before. You are honest, kind and both at once. I still feel that way. You were the grandmother I always wished for and was able to have because you accepted me into your home and heart." Noah spoke the last words to Emma though tears. And by the time Noah had finished speaking, Emma was crying her eyes out.
"Lucinda, you have brass balls but you have a heart of gold too. Like Emma, you'd kill whoever would hurt anyone in your family but you would also give the shirt off your back to anyone you considered family. I was lucky enough to be one of those people you loved. You gave me comfort when I needed it but also gave me a piece of your mind when I also needed it. I hope John is the one you've been waiting for. It's never too late to have love in your life. He will be lucky to have you." Lucinda laughed at Noah's comment when she specifically told him not to tell anyone that she's a real softie to her loved ones. She also cried at the thought of not seeing Noah's big blue eyes light up the room.
"By the way Lucinda." Noah face contorted into a funny look, "I saw you checking out how I filled out my boxer briefs after I had the bone marrow biopsy. I hope I met with your approval...I'm sure I did by the look on your face." Noah winked at the camera. Everyone turned to Lucinda. Noah started laughing but continued, "You'll probably want to explain that one to everyone in the room." Lucinda laughed again. Everyone in the room stared strangely at Lucinda.
"Aaron, Ethan, Natalie and Faith, you were the brothers and sisters that I always wanted to have. Each of you is so different from the other but also the same. I loved you all just as much as you loved me. You all have a huge loving heart, like Luke does and that's what makes you Snyders so special. Please take care of Luke. He's going to need someone to be there for him and I can't think of anyone better than his brothers and sisters who love him dearly to help him in his time of need. He always spoke with love when he talked about each of you to me."
"Thank you Ethan for your bone marrow. You're such an awesome little brother. To Faith and Natalie, you're just as awesome as your little brother. Thank you for all the love and happiness you have given me...oh and girls rule!" Noah laughed. "Aaron, relax, you will find that someone special to settle down with. I think you're trying too hard and wherever I go, I'll find someone just right for you and hook you up."
"To Maddie, Hunter, Will, Gwen, Jade, Ali and Casey, before I came to Oakdale, I had never had any friends. Being in the military, we moved around all the time and everyone learns to avoid making friends so it hurts less when you're redeployed. You were my first friends that I ever had and I couldn't have picked nicer ones. You cared for me, even when I didn't deserve it and stood by me through the roughest times in my life. I will always appreciate it. Thank you for your friendship."
"Luke, you may be last but you're the hardest one to say goodbye to. You are the love of my life. I remember all ten times we broke Emma's rules." Noah chuckled. Emma looked over at Luke with a dirty face. "I bet Emma's giving the evil eye about now but it was so worth it. I never felt so loved in my life as when we were making love. I never meant to hurt you. I know that wherever I'm going, I will love you forever."
"I would like for you to have these videos that I've made. If you can figure out a way to maybe put them together in a way that you can make money and use it for the foundation to help people, please do it. Maybe someone can learn from my mistakes and avoid making them in their lives. I want you to have any stock, money or any other personal possession I own. Go through and keep whatever you want but donate the rest to the foundation or wherever you think the best place will be."
"I saw the video of you coming into my room as I slept and heard you tell me that you still love me but you were scared to be with me. I know you loved Reid but our love is so much deeper and I also know that you will never love anyone the way you love me. I only stepped aside for Reid because I thought that's what you wanted, not because I didn't want you. I only wanted to make you happy after all the grief I caused you."
Noah started to cry. "I'm sorry that I didn't know how to be the person you needed. I learned a lot since I've gotten sick and I'm sorry that I couldn't be around for you to get to know the new me. It's ironic that I finally learned how to be the person you needed, only to have died before we had a chance to live happily ever after."
"Reid told me the night my heart stopped that Ethan's marrow would heal me and that we would get to live a long life together. I put my hand on your shoulder and I felt you stiffen. He told me that he wasn't meant to be with you, that I was. He was destined to die saving Chris and he wasn't overly happy about it." Noah giggled at the memory. "But he was okay with it, well, sort of. I've died, so I think I'll kick his ass for lying to me..." Everyone in the room gasped "I'm just kidding, lighten up," Noah said with a smile. "By the way, you should have felt another presence. That was my mother. She came to me when I was talking to Reid."
"I do know that I plan on staying with you, Luke. I won't go into the light. I will stay with you, until it's your turn and we can then both go together into the light. That is how much I love you but please don't pine for me and Reid. You are a person that needs love in his life. There will be someone else that will make you happy. I will find him and guide him to you but I'll be with you until it's your time. Like the watch says, you're worth the wait. Your love, friendship, the foundation and your writing are your greatest legacy that you will leave behind. Don't waste time with the unimportant stuff in your life. Go out there and share your legacy with others, to make this world a better place."
"If it's okay with you all, I would like to have my ashes buried somewhere on the farm. It was my favorite place to be and I would like to be there for all eternity. I love you all so much." Noah broke down crying, unable to continue the video. A few minutes later, he turned off the camera.
When the tape ended, Lily and Holden moved over to Luke and pulled him into a hug as he broke down and sobbed. Lucinda and Emma were crying in each other's arms.
"He just has to live," cried Luke. "He just has to."
Luke was an emotional wreck for the rest of the day. He was virtually in a comatose state. He just couldn't process the love he felt from Noah's will video. Noah's remarks, about staying with Luke until he died, were the only thing keeping him going through the day. The next morning, he was able to function but he was very quiet. With each passing day, it got easier for Luke as he kept hearing Noah's words of love in his head and repeated a silent prayer for Noah to come back to him.
-P-
Noah's blood tests showed no abnormal cells in his blood. After three weeks, they allowed a few people to start visiting Noah and Luke was the first person in his room. His strength grew every day. Noah was moved out of isolation and back into a normal private room after a month. His white blood count was normal with no abnormal cells. He turned on his camera. The curtain was half pulled in front of the door, so he didn't hear Luke enter the room.
"Luke and I are getting closer, which I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for a lot of things these days, even Reid." This shocked Luke. "He was there for me when I had my out of body experience. If he hadn't been there, I think I might have gone into the light. He told me to tell Luke that he loved him but I haven't had a chance yet. I hope he knows that I love him more than Reid ever did and I'm sure Luke loves me more than he did Reid..."
"You're awful sure of yourself, aren't you Mayer?" interrupted Luke.
Noah was embarrassed getting caught by Luke, "Luke, I'm sorry, I'm just calling it the way I see it."
"It's okay, Noah, it's true. I do love Reid but I'm in love with you." Noah's face broke out into a smile. "But that doesn't solve any of our issues though."
"No, I guess it doesn't but you've seen these videos. Do you really think I'm the same person I was when I was blind?"
"No, you are not, you've grown, Noah."
"What about you?"
"I think I'm more patient than I use to be." His comment caused Noah to giggle. "Why are you laughing?" An annoyed Luke admonished Noah.
"Luke Snyder patient…Isn't that an oxymoron?" laughed Noah, rolling his eyes.
Luke couldn't help but laugh with him. He's never been the patient type. "I talked to Bob and Joe. They said that you should be able to go home in a week or two." Luke took his hand.
"I can't wait to get out of here."
"I want you to move out to the farm for a couple of weeks."
"Luke, I'm fine. I should have no..."
"Grandma said she will drag you to the farm if you say no." Noah laughed at the thought but knew she wasn't kidding. "We just want to mother you for a few weeks. Then we can move back to your apartment."
"Honestly, I don't think..." Noah was shocked. "What did you just say?"
Luke smiled. "You heard me. I'm moving in with you. Ali should be moved out by then and you will need a roommate. I will be staying in Ali's room."
"Oh." Noah's excitement sank.
"I don't think we are ready to go there. We have a lot of talking to do but taking care of you will give me good excuse to move away from my family." Luke leaned down and whispered in Noah's ear. "I'm ready to leave."
"So you are ready to leave the nest?" Noah was surprised as Luke shook his head yes. "Do you think we will ever be close…like we were?"
Luke got up and sat on the edge of the bed. "I watched the videos and I was very moved...horrified about what your dad did to you and I understand better now why you pull back but we need to earn each other's trust again."
"I know we can, Luke," Noah said quickly.
"I know we can too, Noah." Luke leaned down and gave Noah a kiss on the lips. "I love you, Noah."
"Same here." Noah said with tears in his eyes. Luke wiped them away as he leaned down into another kiss. Noah grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. "I'll never let you down again."
-P-
The End.