"Who's here for Elliot Stabler?"
"We are," Olivia answered as Johanna stood up to join her in front of the doctor, anxious looks spread across both their faces.
"I'm Dr. Reed," the tall, dark-haired doctor introduced, clad in standard sterilized surgical attire. "I was one of the doctors who operated on Mr. Stabler."
"How is he?" Olivia asked.
Johanna was so thankful that Olivia was taking charge in talking to the doctor; she was so scared she couldn't speak.
"It's very touch and go right now," Dr. Reed stated, trying to maintain a poker face as doctors typically do. "The bullet missed most of his major organs but still caused quite a bit of damage, and he lost a lot of blood. The gunshot caused severe vascular damage and a pneumothorax, which is a collapsed lung. The bullet also struck his ribcage, which shattered a couple of his ribs. We were able to repair most of the damage, stop the internal bleeding, and stabilize him, but we've placed him in an induced coma for the time being, which will allow him time to heal. The injuries he sustained would cause him great pain and stress, so it's also a way to avoid him having to endure that."
"But he's going to be okay?" Olivia wondered, not worried about the medical jargon. She was glad he was alive, but she just wanted to know if he was going to ultimately be fine.
"It's a little too early to tell," he told her honestly. "He survived the surgery, but we almost lost him a few times and there was extensive internal damage, so we're going to watch him closely. He's not out of the woods just yet, but surviving the surgery is a step in the right direction, so he's off to a pretty good start."
"When can we see him?" Johanna managed to spit out.
"He's in an ICU recovery room, which is where he will probably remain until we bring him out of the coma," he responded. "You're welcome to see him whenever."
"How long do you plan to keep him in the coma?" Olivia asked.
"We're just going to play it by ear, day by day," the doctor answered. "We've done all we could do for now, so we're just going to make sure he's comfortable so he can properly heal."
"Thank you so much," Johanna sighed.
"Yes," Olivia agreed with a nod. "Thank you."
"You're certainly welcome," he replied, appreciative of their acknowledgement, as he began to walk away. "He's in room 415, fourth floor through the double doors. I'll be checking in."
"Thanks," Olivia and Johanna responded simultaneously as the doctor walked away.
"I'm going to go call the station and update everyone – go on up and see him; I'll be there in a minute," Olivia stated as she smiled and walked over to the phones, wanting to give Johanna the chance to see Elliot first on her own and wanting to check in with Fin, Munch and their captain.
Johanna's heart pounded as she got into the elevators. Everything felt surreal, like a dream, cloudy and moving in slow, jagged motions. The fact that Elliot was still alive made her believe that he would ultimately be okay, despite the doctor's uncertainty. She knew things could always take a turn for the worst, but as long as he was still breathing, she felt reassured.
When she arrived in the intensive care unit, her eyes scanned the numbers on the doors until they landed on 415. She took a deep breath and walked in.
Her eyes immediately fell on Elliot, who was lying in the hospital bed, slightly sitting upright, but fully unconscious. An oxygen tube stretched across his face, plugged into his nose and tucked behind his ears. Endless wires connected him to the machines he was surrounded by that were beeping consistently, monitoring his vitals. An IV dripped fluids into his body through a needle in his arm. His eyes were sunken in, a sign of significant blood loss and dehydration, and his skin was slightly paler than usual.
Seeing him so helpless and hurt made everything suddenly feel real to Johanna. It hit her like a ton of bricks. Tears welled up in her eyes when she realized how close she came to losing him that day. She was no longer worried about her petty issue with not wanting to get close to people. That didn't matter anymore. Her fear of heartbreak didn't matter anymore.
She was glad she got close to him. She thought about how pitiful her life would be if she hadn't let him in, and then if he had died, she would've never known the pleasure of having the incredible man in her life.
She stared at him, and all she could think about was how perfect he was, how selfless, caring, and brave he was; he nearly died trying to save his partner's life!
She walked over to him and gently caressed the top of his head lovingly, running her fingers through his short hair. She leaned forward then kissed him on the forehead, lingering for a moment to smell his natural scent. She was thankful she still had the privilege of being able to be comforted by his smell.
Tears fell freely from her eyes, becoming overwhelmed with emotion when she recognized a numbing truth: the day had come where she realized that she couldn't imagine her life without Elliot – the day where she realized she didn't want to live a life without him.
"I don't know if you can hear me – I don't really know how comas work – but I'm so goddamn glad you're okay," she whispered, kissing his forehead again. "I need you to stick around, okay? I need you."
She continued to stare at him adoringly, caressing his hair. She took him for granted, and she was mad at herself for it. He looked so innocent and peaceful; it made her heart ache sadly. She just wanted to see him smile again.
There was a soft knock at the door, and slowly, Olivia poked her head in the doorway.
"Hey, come in," Johanna told her.
"How is he?" Olivia asked, walking in the room and shutting the door behind her.
"He looks okay," Johanna shrugged.
Olivia walked to the other side of the bed and held Elliot's warm hand, gracious he was alive. She wasn't sure what she would've done if she had to try and work with a new partner. Elliot was her other half. She couldn't imagine trying to work alongside anyone else. "Boy, you are so lucky you didn't die trying to save me. I would have killed you."
Johanna chuckled slightly as Olivia smiled then sat down on the long couch near the bed.
"Our captain told me that the man who shot him is still alive," Olivia told the redhead. "Typically I would probably want him dead, but I'm glad he's alive so our ADA can rip him a new one in court. I'm going to make sure he rots in jail for the rest of his life."
"Please do," Johanna spat. She sat down in the chair next to her and scooted it closer to the bed where she could caress Elliot's hand and arm. She just wanted to love on him, comfort him, and ease his pain if he was feeling any. Plus she was too scared and traumatized to get too far away from him.
Olivia watched as the girl looked at Elliot with so much love in her eyes. She was so thankful her partner had this woman in his life. She knew he was in good hands with her around. She trusted her with his life.
"Did you call Kathy?" Johanna wondered. "I'm sure the kids would want to come by."
"I did, actually," Olivia told her, impressed by her concern about his ex-wife. "After I called the station. She said she would probably bring the kids by tomorrow after school."
Johanna nodded in response.
"Is it okay if I stay here for a while?" Olivia wondered. "He really scared me today."
"Of course," Johanna replied with a look that said 'duh' on her face. "Why wouldn't it be okay?"
Olivia shrugged. "I just didn't want to cross any lines. He's your boyfriend, not mine."
Johanna laughed slightly. "But he's your partner, and he was your partner long before he was my boyfriend. I should be the one making sure it's okay with you that I'm here."
Olivia laughed and shook her head. "No, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad he has you. He deserves someone like you."
"Someone like me?" Johanna questioned, wanting to know more of what she meant.
"Yeah, someone vibrant like you. He was in a pretty dark place for a while after the divorce," Olivia sighed. "I can't even really describe the change I saw in him. He was very serious and negative, and he never smiled or laughed."
"Really?" Johanna asked. "I can't imagine him like that."
"He's not like that anymore," Olivia told her matter-of-factly. "Because of you. He's always happy, smiling, laughing, and joking around. He's back to his old self. Thanks to you."
Johanna's heart fluttered happily. She couldn't help but smile. She knew Elliot was a lot more carefree since she had come around, but she didn't realize she had impacted his life that much. It made her so happy to know.
"Well, thanks for sharing him with me," Johanna smirked.
"Ha," Olivia retorted. "Thank you for sharing him with me. Kathy did the opposite."
"What do you mean?"
"He never told you about how she felt about me?" Olivia wondered.
"He mentioned that she always thought you two were having an affair or something, but he doesn't talk about her much," Johanna answered. "I never wanted to push the topic if he didn't want to talk about it."
"She's just insecure. She was always threatened by me, which is so ridiculous. It made him feel so torn, obligated to his job and to me but still obligated to his family. That's when I really noticed how much he had changed. He just seemed so sad all the time. She really did a number on him," Olivia explained with a frown, remembering how he looked back then. "That's why I'm so glad he has you now. You brought him back to life; you turned everything around."
Butterflies went crazy in Johanna's stomach. She knew Elliot adored her, but she didn't realize how important she was to him. All those times he tried to get close to her, he was only seeking happiness, and she tried many times to push him away. How could she have been so selfish in the past to not want to get close to him in fear of having her heart broken? How could she nearly deny him happiness because of her own egocentric paranoia?
"I'm really glad you told me that," Johanna said softly. "That means a lot to me."
Olivia figured as much, and she told her those things on purpose, wanting her to understand what she meant to him, so that she would cherish him always. Elliot had a kind and genuine soul, and she wanted to make sure it would be taken care of.
"For what it's worth, I'm glad he has you too," Johanna told her. "I can tell how close you two are; you complete each other. And I know you take care of him when I'm not around...I'm glad someone's always there to have his back."
Olivia smiled and nodded, appreciative of her kind words as well.
They had a newfound understanding of each other that day – they were mutually appreciative of the role the other had in Elliot's life, both wanting the best for him and now knowing he certainly had the best.