Sometimes, Understanding comes from where you didn't think it would

Own nothing

The girls sat around the coffee table, Bernadette between Alex and Amy, with Amy sitting in Sheldon's spot on the couch. Amy commented, "You know, I always thought that Sheldon was a bit of a left handed monkey wrench with his insistence on having this spot, but it really does lend an entirely different perspective to the goings on in the room". The other girls just looked at her.

Penny came over with wine glasses for teach of them and poured wine starting with hers. Bernadette looked at her. "Penny… you are going to have some wine? I thought that you weren't drinking while you were breast feeding?"

Penny continued to pour wine into Bernadette's glass. "I can have some wine as long as I don't overdo it. Wendy said that alcohol doesn't pass to breast milk." She continued to pour wine into Amy's glass.

Amy looked up at her, "So the point of not "overdoing it" is solely for the safety of the children so you don't drop one?"

Penny looked back at Amy a little confused, "What?... No…. well… maybe, I guess…. I don't know… Anyway, I just don't want to overdo it. It just wouldn't be a proper Girl's Night without it, now that the babies are born". With that she started to pour wine into Alex's glass.

Alex jumped a little in her seat and started to fidget as Penny poured her wine. She had a bit of a confused look on her face, like she didn't know what to say.

Penny saw the look and stopped pouring the wine. "Alex, I'm sorry, did you not want red? Bernadette brought some white if you would prefer that? She also brought a blush.

Alex looked to the other girls on the couch with a look like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words and then looked back to Penny. Her eyes then started to fill with tears. Alex didn't know what to do or say. She got up and said, "Excuse me please, I need to go to the bathroom." She then walked quickly down the hall into the bathroom, closed the door and started to cry. She was a little mad at herself. She didn't want this to happen, at least not right at the start of the night. She had hoped to kind of sneak in a question at some point, but the wine just seemed to set her off. She didn't want to harm the baby if she was pregnant. She really didn't know if she was. She wasn't going to see her doctor for a couple of days yet. She was so mad at herself for ruining the night right at the start. She felt so embarrassed.

Penny looked at Bernadette and Amy. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes had a questioning look in them. "Wha…?"

Bernadette stood up. "Let me go and see what the problem is. Howie an I have been spending a lot of time with Alex and Raj lately, she might be more comfortable talking to me considering, you know, the past you guys have with her".

Penny was a little offended. "Hey… we're over that… At least I hope we are… Yeah… maybe you better go".

Bernadette went to the door of the bathroom and knocked lightly. "Alex…. Can I come in?"

Alex opened the door and slowly walked out. "I'm so sorry, I think I'll be fine. Everybody must think I'm crazy".

Bernadette and Alex came back to the couch and sat down. Penny and Amy just looked at her a little confused. Penny sat in Leonard's chair and lent forward. "Alex Sweetie, is there something you would like to talk about? I know that you have probably heard that we can get a little crazy at these things, but really we're pretty supportive."

Alex looked at the three other girls. "Thanks so much, I'm really sorry. I don't want to ruin your night. Maybe I should just go".

Amy broke in. "Nonsense, I can tell you from experience that you won't find a better bunch of female experience and support anywhere. These lovely people took me in and made me part of their group, and made me feel loved for who I am. Now sit right down and let us help you".

Alex looked apprehensive. "I haven't been feeling well lately and Raj suggested that I take a pregnancy test. Actually he bought two different ones in case there was a problem. Well…. I took one and it was Positive. When I took the second one to make sure… it was Negative."

Penny covered mouth with her hand. Amy's eyes went wide with surprise. Bernadette asked quietly. "Oh my god…. Does Raj know?"

Alex's eyes started to fill with tears. "That's just it… He was there when I took the tests… when he asked how I felt about the results….. if it would be so bad if I was pregnant…. I didn't really have an answer…. Not a good one… It must have sounded like I was so selfish…. I may have ruined everything…. And I think I have lost Raj….." She then broke down. Bernadette held her while Penny went for some tissues and some water from the fridge.

Penny brought over the tissues. "You most certainly did NOT lose Raj. He's been trying to meet someone as good as you for Years and Years."

Amy patted Alex's hand. "Have you gone to the doctor to confirm which test is correct?"

Alex just nodded. "I have an appointment in a couple of days. But I haven't seen Raj since the tests. What am I going to do? I don't know where my career is going… We have just started getting serious…. We never even talked about Kids…. I don't even know if he loves me…. This is all so new to us…. How do I know if he's just with me because of the baby…. If there is one…. What if my grant doesn't come through and I have to leave Cal Tech?"

Penny sat down in the chair. "Look, Raj is a really sweet guy. He might seem like he would do all that stuff just because he HAD to, but really… He's not going to do anything if he doesn't want to. He really cares about you. He told Leonard that not too long ago. He was worried that Leonard would think he was trying to take advantage of you because he was your advisor for your PhD. And have you see him around Jenny and Max? Raj loves kids. He would be a great Dad… come to think of it, he probably wouldn't make such a bad Mom either…"

Bernadette gave Penny a small disapproving look. "Never mind that… Alex Raj is great… he keeps telling Howie just how much you mean to him."

Alex smiled. "I talked to my Dad. He told me I should find some of my friends and talk to them. He thought that they could help me. I think that you guys are great. Thanks. I just wish I knew for sure where Raj stood on US".

Amy looked over. "Well, there's only one way to find that out. You need to sit him down and ask him point blank where you stand with him. Like they say…. "the best offense is a good defense". Amy thought about the words that just came out of her own mouth.

Penny just looked in Amy's direction with a confused look on her face. "Ames… that's not what they say.. Its…. The best DEFENSE…. Ugh…. Never mind… Anyway, Alex… if it's not too personal…. How do you feel about Raj?"

Alex looked down. "I don't know… I really like him… I mean REALLY LIKE him… He's so sweet and caring and tender and understanding and really cute. He always knows what to say or to do to make me feel better. He would do anything for me. It's just so frustrating sometimes. He's so insecure sometimes. And when I talk to other guys he always seems jealous, like he gives them a little evil look. Even the guys at the University. I tell him that I'm not looking around, it's like he doesn't believe me. I mean… He's the one I'm with… you think that would prove to him…."

Penny just stared at Alex…. Her mouth slightly open.

Bernadette and Amy just smiled. Bernadette chirped in, "Sounds a bit familiar…. If you ask me…" Amy continued, "Yeah I think we've been at this movie before".

Penny gave her friends a look, then turned to Alex, "Look… Alex… I know we have had a rocky past… and I'm really sorry…. But take it from me… you need to talk to Raj…. And be honest with him… only you can know how you feel… But…. it's REALLY important that you're honest with yourself. It's OK to be scared… and it's OK to have doubts… but SOMETIMES….. you need to trust your gut over your brains… If it's meant TO BE… then it WILL be."

Bernadette took Alex's hand. "Honey, we will all be here for you no matter what. Don't think that you will lose us as friends if things don't work out with Raj."

Amy added, "Girl power… don't underestimate it."

Alex smiled at them all, "You don't know how much that means to me".

Penny got up to get some ice cream. "Well girls, its tome to start drowning our sorrows in some ice cream. Alex, let me tell you… I have had a time or tow where I took those tests and wondered what would happen if they were positive… it's hard….. but if it is Positive, don't worry…. We'll help you through any problems". Penny then came over to the coffee table with bowls of ice cream.