Time for the guys to reflect too

Own nothing

After Sheldon made his desire to end the evening blatantly clear, things seemed to go downhill. They had talked about a lot of stuff this night rather than concentrate on the geeky things they were known to obsess over in the past. It was really kind of strange. Usually, they never talked about anything of substance when they got together. Some of the most recent conversations had to deal with whether Mummys and Zombies were the same or not. Tonight was different. It seemed to start out like all their other get-togethers, except things that were bothering them seemed to come to the surface. The guys seemed actually to want to talk about stuff and ask for advice from their closest friends that knew them so well. Everyone, that is, except Sheldon. Sheldon had no problem ignoring them. He found all this soul searching tedious. He only interjected his thoughts in a feeble attempt to move the conversations to an end so they could get back to the intent of the evening. Failing that, they might as well end the charade so he could get back home and work on his computer.

Raj cleaned up the dishes and the empty beer bottles. He put the chairs back in their place and picked Cinnamon up as he sat down on the couch. "My little Angel… what am I going to do? The guys think that I should talk to Alex and find out where she stands on all this, on the possibility of being pregnant, of wanting to continue with a future for us. I just don't know how to do it. To top it off, Mommy and Daddy do not approve of her. They think she is a gold digger. I am truly at a loss. She is so beautiful and smart. It is true that she is the first long term relationship I have had. Who could blame any of the women I have been with for running for the hills? Except for the deaf girl, I was usually drunk all the time. But Alex is different. We have things that are in common. And when we slept together, it was not because of some wild night…. Well, it turned out to be a wild night…. Anyway… it is always so beautiful. I Love her Cinnamon, I think that I want to speak to her, but I just don't know how".

Howard drove home thinking on what the guys had said. The conclusion that Sheldon came to was completely unexpected. But the clues were all there. Bernadette was away at work a whole bunch lately. She was undoubtedly under all kinds of stress. She was doing so well at work. She was a newbie, but she was one of the people that her boss went to for answers. Bernadette was selected as the point person for that neurotoxin thing that got her and Amy on the Korea project. You just don't get those assignments if you're one in a crowd. He knew that her career was really important to her. But lately, she was acting so weird. Ever since Jenny and Max were born, Bernadette was so possessive of them. Even from the very first day when they saw Max. Bernadette didn't want anyone else to hold him. And when it was his turn to hold the baby, Bernadette took him for herself. Could Sheldon be right? Howard knew that Bernadette had spent some time recently away from work. He called her for lunch one day because he thought she was particularly down the night before. When he called her work, he was told that she had taken the afternoon off. When he asked her how work went that day, Bernadette just said things were fine. She never told him she was gone from work or where she went. It was only by chance that his mom let it slip that Bernadette came over for lunch one day to ask some questions. When Howard wanted to know what Bernadette was interested in, his mother just brushed it off. It was kind of weird that Bernadette always was in such a good mood around Leonard's children. Could Sheldon be right? Was it possible that Bernadette wanted kids?

Sheldon gathered all the games that he had selected for this night. Leonard got the gaming system packed away and the two ex-roommates went down to Leonard's car and started to drive to their apartment building.

Leonard was a little lost in his thoughts. Were the guys right? Could he be neglecting Penny? He would never think that that would happen. He was hopelessly in love with her. She could simply do no wrong. Now that she was a mother, he could see that there was something much deeper in her being. She was much stronger that anyone ever knew. Still, he was worried that she was neglecting herself for the sake of the family they had built together. The family that was a complete surprise to both of them, the family that he had dreamed of and that she had feared for so long. The family that was the commitment that she avoided for so long. It seemed to be her center now. She had put all her other dreams behind her. Leonard felt a little sad. To think that he was responsible for dimming the light within her that was such an important part of the beautiful woman that he fell in love with on the very first day he laid eyes on her. Leonard resolved to not allow her to forget those things that she held so dear. He understood that their family was important to her and she would forsake all other things to provide for their children, but he couldn't let the inner flame that was such a part of her die out. He would simple do whatever he could to make sure she had every opportunity to do whatever she needed to do to be whatever she wanted to be. If in the end, she decided to stay at home and take care of their family, working as a waitress, that would be more than he could ask for. But, if she needed to be a movie star that needed to jet off to some exotic location, he would support her and take care of the family. He needed to make sure that she understood that she was every bit as important to him as she ever was. It didn't matter that he got the family he always wanted, had the job that he wanted. He needed to make her understand that she was still the center of his universe. And her happiness was what mattered to him most of all.

Sheldon sat in the passenger seat of Leonard's car on the way home from their evening's adventure. As disappointing as it was, he had missed the get-togethers that they had been known for in the past. He hadn't really noticed that it had been so long that they had done one until the four of them received their text messages at the same time at lunch. He had been spending more and more time with Amy instead of his other friends lately. At first blush, he could blame that fact on each of them. Leonard was always tending to his new family. God knows, Penny probably needed all the help she could get. Raj seemed to be spending an awful lot of time with Alex. The pretense being that he was helping with her Thesis. Due to the evening's revelations, however, he now understood that there were other things going on, not the least of which was the neglect she showed for the tasks he had scheduled for her. Alex was his assistant after all. And as for Howard… well…. He was Howard. Whatever he was doing was really of no concern to Sheldon. But, if Sheldon was truly honest with himself, he had initiated many more off schedule meetings with Amy all on his own. Sure there was always a plausible reason associated with them. It was much more comfortable for him to pose the additional time together within the rather restrictive guidelines of the Relationship Agreement or blame the need for her to come over on the neglectful nature of Leonard's family. Sheldon did understand within his own mind, and really his own heart, that he just plain and simply liked having Amy around. She was a complement to him that he or anyone else for that matter would have sworn he would never have found. He was really going to have to get around to drafting that strongly written letter of praise to that electronic dating site Raj and Howard used. Perhaps his friends were right. Perhaps his feelings for Amy were deeper than he had let on. This topic certainly merited further consideration.