34 You were the job
Still, on his last day in Rota, Gibbs goes to the DiNozzo home and climbs the three flights of stairs. Ziva lets him in, looking flushed and pretty. Gibbs realizes that he's seen Ziva in many moods, but contentment has not been one of them. It looks very well on her.
It is a cool day, and the sliding glass doors are closed, but Tony and Becks are out on the terrace. Becks hikes the ball and runs to the edge of the terrace, Tony tosses her the ball, she does a victory dance, and runs back for a congratulatory hug. And the game starts over. Gibbs can remember afternoons like this of his own.
Ziva gives him a kiss and embrace. "We can never repay what we owe you for this, Jethro." She smiles. "I am so glad that Rebecca has finally met you."
"I don't have to ask how you're doing," Gibbs says. "You look like you've bounced back."
"We have had a quiet few days. Tony has no phone and Rebecca is getting very spoiled by the attention. It has been—very nice."
"Well, the no phone days are over. I'm here to drop off the new phone and the office keys."
"And to talk to Tony, of course," Ziva says.
"How's he doing?"
"I think he would very much like to be told that he is a bad husband and worse father and he will never be forgiven. But it is hard for him to stay in that mood with Rebecca around. Ducky says he will be all right eventually."
"Ducky's usually right."
"I would offer you coffee, but Tony still can't have any, and it seems mean to make it."
"What Tony drinks isn't coffee."
Ziva laughs. "So true. But as compromises go, it is not a terrible one to make. You've come at a good time. Becks and I are going shopping anyway." She opens the sliding glass doors and waves Becks in. "No," she says to Tony. "Stay out here. I'll send your guest to you."
Becks shows Gibbs her pink Swiss knife on the chain. "Abby says it's very cool."
"Abby is always right about cool," Gibbs says.
"We're going shopping for gameday. It's Michigan," Becks says. "At home."
"Your daddy ever tell you about the Wisconsin game?"
"23 for 30, two touchdowns passing, one rushing." Becks shrugs. "One interception."
"Even good quarterbacks throw interceptions sometimes."
"That's what Babbo says. You gotta shake it off."
"That's good advice. You remember that."
Ziva grimaces. "We have to find something that will substitute for chips and beer. It is going home day."
"Homecoming, Mommy," Becks says.
"Tony likes root beer," Gibbs says.
"Really? Root beer? He never mentioned that. Rebecca, say thank you for the knife and good-bye."
Becks smiles her big DiNozzo smile and opens her arms. Gibbs takes a kiss and a hug. "Be careful with that knife."
"I never go anywhere without it."
"Good job."
Gibbs goes out on the terrace. Tony gestures vaguely. "The base and the bay are out there…somewhere."
"Don't worry, your base is still there. Here's your phone. Vance says that if one more Disney movie gets downloaded your service will be cut off permanently."
"Vance doesn't miss much. But Becks has an iPad now. She won't need my phone anymore."
"Someday," Gibbs says, "you're going to have to tell her that you're not actually Secretary of the Navy."
"Someday she'll figure it out on her own. Sit down for a minute."
"I have a plane to catch."
"The Gulfstream won't leave without you. Sit down."
Gibbs sits.
Tony says, "I don't suppose it would be possible to get my belt back."
"It's in the evidence lockup at the Navy Yard. You know how Abby feels about maintaining her evidence."
"It was the belt with the knife in the buckle, damn it."
"Your daughter can lend you a knife."
Tony laughs. "I'd have to wrestle her for it, and I'm afraid I'd lose." He turns the phone box over in his hands a few times. "Jenny offered me a team in Rota a long time ago. After you came back but before I was too deep into the Benoit thing. I turned it down. When things got bad I used to think, man, I could be in Rota right now. Isn't it ironic?"
Gibbs waits.
"Okay, Alanis Morrissette was a long time ago and you were probably never a fan. I know I owe you a lot for this. We owe you a lot. Thanks for coming, Jethro."
"Leon Vance didn't give me much choice."
Tony whistles. "Wow, way to kill the mood." He turns the box over a few more times. "You would have come anyway, whatever Vance wanted. Did you really think it would be that easy to avoid this conversation? I have to ask you something."
Gibbs waits. Tony finally puts the box down. He asks, "You've been doing this a lot longer than I have—the boss part. Did I cause this?"
"No."
"That was quick."
"I knew it was coming."
"I didn't like him. I didn't try to like him. And I fired him."
"No. DiNozzo, why do you ask questions if you already know you're not going to take the answer? You didn't cause this. You ran into a bad guy. End of story."
"Maybe I should have tried harder."
Gibbs shakes his head. "Tony, you were as unhappy as a man could be in Washington. You didn't turn into a murderer or a kidnapper. He's a bad guy. You noticed. You just didn't realize how bad, and for that you'd need ESP."
"I guess I'd still fire him, but I wish I'd kept better track of him." Tony sighs. "It's Sarah. I didn't protect her."
"Yeah, I figured that would be the real problem. She's not Kate Todd, Tony. The two situations aren't the same."
"But I know you still think about Kate, Jethro. Isn't there something you wish you'd done differently?"
"I wish things had turned out differently. But she was a good agent, Tony. She had a strange blind spot about Ari. Was that enough to let go of a good agent? I didn't think so then. I still don't think so. But it might have saved her life."
"Would you have let Sarah go?"
"I don't know. You know better than me whether she was a good agent. I wouldn't have let her go just because she reminded me of Kate Todd. There's only so much you can do to protect people, Tony."
"I could have warned Sarah about Hamilton. Been more clear about why I let him go."
"And she could have trusted your judgment. She chose not to. Look, Tony, you like bringing your family to work and bringing your agents home. That's your way and it's the best way for you. You don't like Rule 10 or Rule 11? You don't have to follow them. But there are always costs no matter how you do this job. You have to figure out for yourself how to live with that. We don't do this because it's easy. We do it because it has to be done."
"Ziva says I lack balance."
"I don't know if it's balance. You were never good at figuring out what was and wasn't your fault. Or knowing when it was time to let it go."
"Yeah…about that, boss."
"Don't apologize."
"Rule 6, sign of weakness, I know. But I wish I'd done a better job of it. Leaving, I mean."
Gibbs, exasperated, says, "Ducky complains about the no-apology rule because he thinks it's a license to be an asshole. It can be. Haven't you been listening? Everyone makes choices. If you make them honestly, you stand by them. You don't apologize."
"That rule—hell, half your rules-don't recognize the fact that the rest of us sometimes have mixed feelings."
"Would you give up your life here to be back in the squadroom?"
"Of course not."
"Then you made good choices."
"So it's more of a Rule 18 situation."
"You have nothing to be forgiven for. Let it go. Rule 11."
Tony sputters. "So I was a job?"
"Tony, for a while, you were the job."
It will be some time before Tony looks back on this conversation and understands how much Gibbs is saying. Still, he's not quite ready to let it go. "Ducky's not always in our guest room, you know."
"You have a guest room but not a basement." Gibbs stands up. "Vance is going to want the Gulfstream back someday."
"We could name the kid after you." Gibbs rolls his eyes. After a moment Tony says, "Maybe I'm not the only one who has trouble figuring out what is and isn't my fault. What part of the cost I'm not supposed to pay."
"Let it go, Tony."
"Okay." He follows Gibbs into the house. "I'll let you show yourself out if you don't mind. The stairs are still hard for me. But I do have one more question."
"DiNozzo."
"I've seen toy knives like the one you gave Becks in airports. But you didn't go through an airport, did you? They don't sell them at the commissary either."
This time Gibbs's laugh is genuine and unforced. "I never thought you were incompetent, Tony. But it was time for you to go." He tosses Tony the office keys. "My door's still unlocked."
Tony catches them. "Duly noted, boss."