087. Memories

He remembered the day they met.

She was 8 and he was 11.

His foster mother and helped him discover an alchemy teacher and had sent him off into the country side with a suitcase and hopeful mind.

When he had knocked on the door of the large house, he was greeted by a once confused, then disapproving look of a young girl with shoulder length blonde hair and large amber colored eyes. He had stared at her blankly before allowing a friendly smile to cross his face and a hand to extend.

"Hi, my name is Roy Mustang. I'm here for Berthold Hawkeye." He gave her a bright smile but she had stared mutely from behind the cracked door for a moment before opening the door further for him and walking briskly away. He would have called after her, but his new sensei had rounded the corner, sending a bored look in the direction of his retreating daughter before turning to the shocked preteen in his door.

"You must be Roy." He drawled out. "Come right in. Your room is upstairs and three doors down on the right. Meet me out front in a half hour." Nothing more was mentioned about the young girl.

She remembered their first conversation. He had been living with them for a few weeks and she spent most of her time skirting around him, taking care of chores and getting in and out of the house for school during the week. She had been sitting under a large tree behind the house, watching a mother bird feed her newly hatched babies. She had an overall fascination with wild life and didn't hear the dark haired preteen approach.

"Hi." She blinked and stared over her shoulder at him wide eyed. Grinning widely, he had dropped down next to her and stared into the direction she had once been staring into. "Sensei has an important call and is giving me a break… It's really boring having a break and no one to play with." He glanced at her and she swiftly turned away swiftly.

"Oh." Was all she managed to say, but didn't deter the curious boy by her side.

"You watch birds?"

"No…"

"But you're doing it now."

"I like all animals."

"What's your very favorite?" There was a pause and she eyed him as thoughtfully. He was being genuine she assumed and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them.

"I suppose I like dogs most… They seem like fun animals to have as pets." She answered.

"Dogs are pretty cool… My mom won't let me have one though. We don't have the space and I think Victoria's allergic."

"Who is Victoria?"

"One of my sisters!" Roy had answered brightly. They had sat in the same spot and talked until Hawkeye came out calling for him. Roy had run off obediently, leaving Riza watching him. Maybe he wasn't that bad.

He remembered the first time he had see her smile. She was 10 and he was 13.

Sensei had him outside trying to transmute a rock into something usable. A spoon. A perfect circle. Anything but a rock. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't working out too well and when his Sensei had harshly barked at him to have something ready by time he returned from his study, he sat glaring down at his transmutation circle and the rock centered in it.

"Looking at it like that won't change anything."Whipping his head around, Roy stared up at Riza who stood in her school uniform, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong and Sensei won't tell me." He whined up at her. He knew Riza didn't know anything about alchemy but he hoped to get some sympathy from her. Unfortunately, even at the age of 10, she was sometimes just as cold as her father.

"Maybe you did the circle wrong." She moved to stand beside him, leaning forward slightly and looking over the transmutation circle. Unfortunately, Roy kept staring at her, noting her hair was actually longer than he remembered. "I've seen some of father's work and this circle doesn't look right. That's not the right symbol." She stated, pointing at one of the circle designs.

"Riza-chan… you- OW!" He cringed bent forward, holding the back of his head. "What the-" Both he and Riza turned to see Hawkeye standing in his study window.

"Get to work, Mustang!" he snapped and slammed the window shut. Roy made note of the eraser sitting beside him that must have been thrown at him. He scowled.

"Yes Sensei." He grumbled. Riza was standing straight.

"Good luck, Mustang-san."

"Yeah, yeah." Roy muttered, waving a hand at her. He glanced up at her before she fully turned away and noticed a hint of a smile on her face as she made her way towards the house.

She remembered their first kiss. She had been 14 and he was 17.

Her father had gone away for some research lead and left her in charge. Roy had come home from town with groceries, claiming he would make dinner. She had given him a skeptical look but sat back and watched all the same.

He managed to nearly set the kitchen on fire and in the end, she made dinner for them while he pouted at the table. Afterwards, they went up onto the roof to do star gazing, a new habit Riza had acquired when Roy had began spending more time in her father's study. She told him about the books she had read and the constellations she knew about while he silently, hands behind his head as he stared at the stars.

"You know an awful lot, Riza-chan. You'd make a great teacher or something one day." He informed warmly. She hit a smile and shrugged a shoulder.

"It would be nice I suppose… to be someone needed." Roy pushed himself up.

"Eh, what's that all about? You are needed."

"Hm, I suppose." She rested her chin on her knees and continued staring into the sky. Without warning, Roy had moved closer to her and turned her to face him, swiftly pressing his lips to hers before moving back.

"Trust me. Without you here, I'd probably go insane." He informed and smiled warmly at her. "Now stop being a brat and let's go inside. I'll make some coffee… and tea for you." With that, he pushed himself up as if he had never done what he did, and led the way back in the house.

He remembers the first time he hurt her. Emotionally anyway.

She was 15 and he was leaving for the military. She didn't cry in front of him. He knew when he gave her a small smile and told her to take care of herself and she didn't speak but nodded in return, that he had hurt her. They had spent nearly every day together for several years and built a bond. He wanted to take him with her, but what was the point? She wouldn't leave her father behind. She was too good of a daughter. She had watched him leave and no more was said.

She remembered the first time he touched her. He had returned nearly a year after leaving, a newly enlisted soldier, coming for his sensei's acceptance. From what she knew, her father her father had simply refused to see the young man's reasoning for turning to the military and his final wish was that his student take care of his daughter. Roy had stayed for the funeral. He paid for everything and shared some of the confused emotion that Riza felt through the loss of her father. He shared his dreams, though laughing at his mindset and in a way, left the teenage blonde feeling comforted and connected to him once more. She trusted him and wanted to trust him with her father's secret. With her secret.

When she exposed her back to him, there was an unsettling silence before he had pulled her into a hug and repeatedly whispered apologies for having left and allowing such a thing to happen to her. She had seen the tattoo herself, looking at her reflection in the mirror numerous times and feeling sick at the sight of it, so she could only imagine his shock upon seeing the symbol taking over her back. When he had studied the tattoo, he was gentle and his fingers glided across her skin lightly, as if she would shatter if he pressed his fingers to her skin. He stayed for a week or so and she would lie on her stomach, allowing him to study her, sometimes being pulled into deep conversations as the hours passed. It was during this time when they had first made love.

The third night that he spent studying her back, she felt his weight shift on the bed. She had been drifting between consciousness and tried to steal a glance at him through tired eyes as she watched him lean closer to her back. She had assumed that he was getting a closer look at some of the writing until she felt his lips pressed against her back. She had stiffened significantly and didn't move despite clutching tighter to the pillow she had been hugging onto.

"W-what're you doing?" She had managed to squeak out, wanting to kick herself for sounding so pathetic. He had stopped and backed away slightly.

"Um… sorry, That was forward…" He rambled, rubbing the back of his neck and looking awkwardly away. Riza pushed herself up, still clutching the pillow to herself and eyes lowered.

"It… its fine, really… I didn't mind." She glanced up and noticed him looking at her from the corner of his eye.

"Are you sure?" She nodded quietly, holding the pillow closer to her still. "Well, you won't mind if I try something then?" he asked.

"What?" Pushing himself onto his knees, Roy moved over to her, cupping her chin in his hand and despite the widening of her eyes, he leaned in and kissed her. She was young, but she wasn't stupid. She was certain of what she wanted and allowed herself to be pulled in.

He remembers there most disturbing reunion. Ishbal- the last place he would have ever wanted her to be. In fact, it was the last place he wanted her to be doing the last thing he expected to be doing. Using her father's research for destruction. She seemed to be haunted by her own demons. The glow in her eyes had become dim and she was clearly burdened by everything she was facing. For the record, she was barely 18 and shouldn't have been in such a place. Whatever happened to her becoming a teacher?

He had come to her when it was all over, wanting to tease that she would be left behind if she didn't move, but it coming out solemnly as he watched her hunched over a small grave. She had buried an Ishbalan child and was mourning not only the loss of the child, but where she saw the world going. The effect the alchemy had on the world. And that was when she had asked him the one thing he wished to never hear again. She wanted him to crush her back. To burn away the secrets her father left with her so that another flame alchemist couldn't be born. It was a plead and in the end, he submitted to her.

She took everything with more strength than he thought any woman could ever possess. But then again, she wasn't little Riza Hawkeye who liked watching birds, reading stars, and teasing him about his strangely drawn transmutations. She was Ishbal's Hawk's Eye. A skilled sniper and soldier.

"Sir?" Snapping from his thoughts, Roy looked up from his work at the blonde standing over him, a stack of papers in her arms. "Are you alright?"

"Um, yeah… I was just thinking." She studied him for a moment before nodding and placing the files on the corner of his desk.

"Don't get too distracted, Colonel. A lot has to get a lot done." Letting out a sigh, Roy nodded.

"Thanks Lieutenant… I don't know what I'd do without you." She hummed in return and went about her business, ignoring his watchful eye as she chastised Havoc and Breda for using some of the paper work to design paper airplanes. He smiled to himself. They had come far from the pair of kids watching birds hatch and counting stars. They were adults now. Soldiers burdened by the sins of war.

But once upon a time, there was a bright eyed blonde girl with a fascination with what nature held and a scrawny dark haired boy who wanted to be someone amazing.