Don't Call It Love

by theshorterstory

Quinn and Rachel have always hated each other. That was common knowledge, but Quinn's pregnancy is making her soft and maybe she'll realise that she and Rachel aren't all that different... And yes this is a Faberry pairing.

9. Chapter 9 I Never Loved a Man

A/N: I am so sorry this has taken so long. But it is a very lengthy chapter, so does that make it better? There a couple reasons this is so late... Life kinda got in the way. Lots of drama at work, and lots of drama which meant my three days off were spent in and out of hospital (not me), and everyone is fine! But it did get rather time consuming. Also this chapter just did not want to happen. But hey, here it is. Major spoilers for 'Bad Reputation'. I know I said I wasn't gonna go along episode by episode, but I figured I was gonna challenge myself. Originally, I was gonna leave out the glist entirely, but then I was like 'you know what? No. I want to have my story work as though it's the in between scenes of the show, and then the bits that do feature have a Faberry influence. So it's like everything on season 1 happened BUT OFF SCREEN FABERRY WAS REALLY THERE. But it's bloody hard to make it work, and to make it seem plausible in many cases, but I think I'm getting there. Let me know. Hacchichu, this means you. Your last review was like... almost as long as the chapter, so I'm looking forward to this update's one ;D

Oh and lastly, the last scene can maybe make sense without knowledge of the song, but it's chapter 8's title 'Suspended in Gaffa' by Kate Bush. For those who don't know the song, it's about wanting something (in the song's case it's about religion) and having it dangled pretty much in front of you, but never being able to quite reach it. A little like something that you can always see just out of the corner of your eye, but never quite manage to look at it properly. Well, I figured that song was perfect for them, and that's why the last chapter had that title, and not this one, as it was the whole 'want, almost get, not quite' kinda thing. Go listen to the song, because it will help you get this, and because you should just you know... love Kate Bush. Here, have a link; http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=5n8tRputb_I (holy crap, it's a version of the video I've never seen :O)

Really really lastly this time. I had a really lame joke about The Rocky Horror show (an insult to Rachel) which I've had in mind for aaaaaages just not had the chance to use yet, and I was worried that it might actually get written in the show and then I wouldn't be able to use it, but they DIDN'T. HA. So I can use it at a later point and not look like I've nicked it. -smug face- Okay, now you can read that chapter.

Chapter 9 – I Never Loved a Man

Rachel had a plan. That wasn't unusual, of course, because when did she not have a plan? Whether it be something as simple as planning how to tackle her calculus homework, or be it her lifelong dream: 'become a star on Broadway', Rachel Berry always had a plan. But this current plan was pure genius, she thought. Two birds with one stone, and all that. She was about to become – her words – 'musically promiscuous'. It was a failsafe!

"I'm going to stop you. You had me at 'sex tape'. How can I help?" Said Artie, grinning up at Rachel. He was a little nervous, as Rachel was pretty much bent double over him and didn't seem to care that she was really in his face. He was trying to stop himself from rolling backwards in retreat, but he was curious.

"Hold on to your hat, because Rachel Berry," She paused dramatically, glancing every which way in the hallway before continuing in a stage whisper, "is about to become musically promiscuous." She was waggling her eyebrows in such a way that Artie was worried that they might even crawl off her head if she kept it up. She stepped round Artie and began pushing him against his will along the corridor.

Artie knew what 'musically' meant, obviously, and he also knew what 'promiscuity' was. What he couldn't figure out was how one was to become 'musically promiscuous', but he was sure that in no time Rachel would have explained fully, and then some.

Rachel was furious. She really was. The 'Glist' had offended her, and it had offended her in many ways. Not just because she was placed last with the shockingly cruel minus five that she had been given, but because she and her fellow glee clubbers should not be made into numbers on a sheet of paper that turned them into nothing but sexual objects. But it mostly had to do with the fact that she was last on the list. Well, she would show them. All she needed to do now was enlist the boys. And Santana and Brittany. That bit would be hard.

She already knew who wrote the Glist. She had spent most of the previous evening making charts and diagrams of who was the most likely culprit. At first she really had thought it was Noah, somehow still upset over the fact that she never let him touch her boobs, let alone go all the way. But she knew Noah, and he would have quite happily admitted doing it. Subtlety was definitely not his forte. It certainly wouldn't have been Artie, Tina, Mercedes or Kurt. They wouldn't dare do something like that, and they weren't even on the list in any case. She was quite sure it wasn't Jesse, as he hardly knew anyone at WMHS. Matt and Mike were out, because they were so quiet in Glee, and she highly doubted the well known 'it's always the quiet one' line didn't apply here.

This was definitely something alike to the thinking of a Cheerio. They always opted for mental torment, rather than physical. But which Cheerio? Rachel doubted that Brittany would have come up with something like that, plus she wasn't even in the top three. So, Brittany was out. Which left Santana. But Santana already had a reputation. And she was bound to have put herself first, when in actuality, she was second, scoring behind none other than Quinn.

Quinn was an ex-Cheerio. Head-Bitch-in-Charge. Rachel knew that as much as Quinn seemed to have changed, she had seen her old self come back before, when she was punching Karofsky and she was certain that the fact that Quinn had been avoiding Rachel like the plague since the incident in the bathroom, she was sure that something had snapped, and she had gone straight back to the way she used to be.

Not to mention, she definitely had the motive to do it. She had lost so much when she was kicked off the Cheerios. She had gone from having everything - power, influence, henchmen, boys fawning all over her, a home - and now she had nothing. Plus, she was bound to be acting out after what had transpired between the two of them. Rachel knew Quinn must be frightened. Hell, she had parents that were accepting and she was frightened. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Quinn was thinking. Rachel wished she hadn't run away from Quinn that day, and that she had stayed and tried to talk about it, but what's done was done. Quinn was clearly acting out, and trying to hurt Rachel - by rating her a minus five - and putting herself at the top with plus forty-five. Quinn could put herself back on top and knock Rachel down a peg or two at the same time. It had to have been her.

As soon as Rachel had determined who it had been, she had straight away begun to formulate her plan on how to get back at Quinn, and hopefully gain back the (little she had) credibility she lost. And perhaps, she could get rid of Jesse at the same time. So maybe it was more like three birds with one stone, but whatever. It would get the job done. She didn't want to leave Jesse, because then Quinn might think that she had left him for her, and however true that might be, she did not want the blonde to know that. So, she had to do something that would make Jesse so angry he'd break up with her.

David Geddes 'Run Joey Run' seemed like the perfect way to do this. If she could make a music video for the appalling song with the bad reputation (ooh, was it four birds with one stone, if she was completing her glee assignment too?), and she sung it with Jesse, Finn and Noah all being her co-stars as Joey... She could make it look as though there were people fighting over her. That would rank her higher on the Glist, right? And, she could hopefully annoy Quinn with the video, too. She was mostly hoping it'd make Quinn jealous if she saw that Rachel had plenty of other suitors. Failsafe, just as she thought before.

Quinn was being interrogated. And she was pissed off. Her back hurt, Finn had been making funny faces at her all day, she thought that she might cry at any second, but she wasn't really sure why and now Mr. Schue was shouting at her, seemingly thinking he was in some sort of terrible crime drama. Law and Order sprung to mind. She really didn't have the energy for this. Yes, she was the one who made the Glist, but she wasn't about to go and admit it. She had regretted it almost the second it had been put up. She had never expected it to get so out of hand, and now she knew that whoever had done it would be suspended, or worse: Expelled. She didn't think she could handle any more drama like that, and without the Cheerios and her parents' money, she was worried that community college might be the only thing she had as an option. She needed a scholarship, but that wouldn't happen if she had anything more added to her permanent record.

Mr. Schue was still going on and on, and Quinn zoned out of the conversation, playing absently with her hair. Her mind went back to the day in the bathroom. How soft Rachel's lips were, the feel of her tiny hands on her waist. The smell of her, and the quiet whimper she had given upon Quinn's forcefulness.

"Quinn!" Mr Schue exclaimed. She shook her head and looked up at him, quickly remembering where she was and what was going on and thinking how gross it was that she had just been thinking about Berry in that way. After all, she had man parts, and she looked like she belonged on the set of Lord of the Rings as an extra in The Shire and before she knew it, she was blurting the first thing that came to mind.

"Rachel did it. Think about it. I stole the guy she's in love with, then I stole the guy she dated to get over the guy she's in love with, and I'm kind of a bitch to her," She affirmed her words with a stern notion of her hand. She frowned. She really was a bitch to Rachel.

"It just doesn't seem like Rachel." Schue said with a shake of the head. Quinn was flailing now. Of course it wouldn't be Rachel, Rachel would never think of something like that. And yes she was selfish and overbearing and obnoxious and many other unattractive things, but she was never spiteful. She was making herself look more guilty by accusing someone so blatantly innocent.

Think, Fabray, think! Her mind screamed desperately.

"She's gone behind your back before," Quinn said quickly, relief coursing through her as she thought of a reason to back up her accusation. The 'Push It' fiasco had sprung to mind. "A-and I mean who's to say there's only one culprit?" Okay, even she knew that was stupid, but she had to try her best to cover her back.

She was really pissed off now. Mr. Schue was pacing up and down and she really just wanted to slap him to get him to stand still. Why wouldn't he just accept that no one was going to come forward, even if he did continue this ridiculous one man good-cop-bad-cop thing. He sighed and Quinn put her head in her hands.

"Can I go now? I think I can feel some more morning sickness coming on," It was a cheap trick, but she hoped it'd work.

"It's after school, Quinn. You can't have morning sickness when it's not the morning."

"Mr. Schuester, do you really think that telling me how I'm feeling when you have no clue what I have to deal with day in day out is a good idea? Yes, it's called morning sickness, but it can come on at any time, and unless you want to deal with a very moody pregnant girl who doesn't have her anger under her own control, and you enjoy cleaning vomit off your desk, I suggest you just let me go. Now." Quinn said, through gritted teeth, standing and approaching the slowly paling Spanish teacher. Mr. Schuester sat down heavily, staring fearfully up at Quinn and held his hands up in surrender.

"You're quite right, that was very foolish of me and I hope you understand I meant no offense and-" Quinn retched a little, bracing herself against his desk.

"Go! You go right ahead and leave!" He shouted. She smirked as she turned away and walked from the room, head held high. He was far too easy to play. She hummed the tune to 'Physical' as she walked.

Rachel fidgeted in her chair in the choir room. She was fidgeting because she was eager for her video to be shown, and because Jesse was sitting next to her, and he had his arm on the back of her chair and he kept on playing with her hair if she leant back on it and it was really irritating. Ordinarily she would be listening to Mr. Schuester's every word, ready to jump in and correct him if she felt he was doing something wrong – which was most of the time – but today she was just anxious to get her video shown to the rest of the club and Jesse was doing that thing with her hair again. She swallowed the urge to slap his hands away and tried to listen to what her teacher was saying.

"Another week has almost passed, and if another Glist goes up again today this... issue is out of my hands and it becomes Principal Figgins' jurisdiction." He looked around the glee club, his eyes clearly still trying to find the culprit. He looked pointedly at Rachel, who just fidgeted some more.

"Seriously, Mr. Schue, whoever made that list is not gonna come forward. We may as well just bend over and take what's coming," Rachel nodded in agreement with Finn when Mr. Schuester once again wound up looking at her. There was a long pause and Mr. Schue deflated.

"Fine. Okay well uh... let's get to it. Rachel? How about you show us your 'bad reputation' project?"

Rachel leapt from her seat, grinning excitedly as she took her place in front of the class.

"I'd like to say a few words first, though I understand a motion picture should stand on its own, I do realise that some of you are not very well versed in the complex vocabulary of the filmic arts. I expect that this video will go over the heads of our less cultured teammates," Brittany stared vacantly back at all the faces that had turned her way at this remark, "So, I hope you enjoy my bad reputation." She took a deep breath and took her seat again.

Quinn was rolling her eyes. It seemed as though it was something she couldn't control, and Berry's rambling had set her eyes into overdrive. The countdown on the screen began and then Santana and Brittany were there in angel wings. Quinn was mildly shocked. She had no idea how Rachel had managed to enlist those two. Rachel did, however, and was cringing whilst remembering the constant harassment the feisty Latina had sent her way. She was only doing it because Brittany wanted to, as otherwise she wouldn't go anywhere near her as she was a horrible troll who had no friends because even all of the other trolls (who had horrible personalities) couldn't stand to be around her because they hated her even more horrible personality. Oh and also, she knew she'd look really hot if she dressed like an angel, and she'd only do it if she could keep the costumes for some 'role play'. Rachel didn't even ask. She did not want to know. Judging by the dopey smile on Brittany's face, she really did already know what was going on.

Rachel entered the scene, and she congratulated herself on the tragically dramatic expression on her own face as she sang. Most of the rest of the glee club were joining Quinn in rolling their eyes now.

Puck began to sing, stretched out on the bed and looking up at the camera. He was wearing a tight, white tank top and his arms were behind his head, showing off his 'guns' and looking like a badass. At least, that's what he was thinking. Quinn's head whipped round to look at him questioningly. She was unaware Puck was at all involved with Rachel anymore, and she tried to ignore the sting of jealousy she felt. She was quite sure that it was because she was jealous that Rachel had got Puck alone, when she never seemed to be able to do these days (he was always too busy playing Super Mario or some other sort of stupid game), and she was most definitely not hurt that Rachel had chosen him to sing and not her (no matter how much she would not fit the role of Joey, being a girl and everything). Jesse was also looking confused. Rachel was singing with Puck, and not him? Then Finn was also frowning and looking confused, although that wasn't much of a change from his usual expression. Rachel was singing with Puck and not him?

Then Jesse appeared on the screen, taking over from Puck. The three boys were growing increasingly angrier. As was a certain pregnant blonde girl. They all simultaneously clenched their fists as they watched. Jesse was replaced by Finn and Rachel/Julie/musical prostitute was shot by her father. Four people all simultaneously clenched their jaws as well as fists when they thought that right now they would really like to be in his place, shooting her.

Rachel was oblivious to the silent drama playing out around her. She was too enthralled by her own fantastic performance. Finn looked over to Puck who was shaking his head. Each of the boys were taking turns to sing the outro of the song in the video now, and at last Rachel was winking at the screen and the word 'FIN' appeared. A loud rush of air escaped the lungs of everyone in the room. Rachel applauded herself and stood again. Quinn joined in clapping, but only because she had to, and she hoped the smile she plastered on her face was sarcastic enough for Rachel to notice.

"Well, why don't we all just take a moment to absorb what we just watched-" Rachel was cut off by Finn.

"This is garbage!"
"Finn!" Mr. Schue said warningly.

"No! He's right," Puck joined in, "first of all I need to trust my instincts more because when we were shooting that, I had a feeling that it was not going to be good-"

"Why didn't you tell me that they were in this too?" Jesse was joining the 'flame Rachel Berry' party it seemed. Well, at least this is one reaction she had wanted. "I thought that you and I were going out! Being triple cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend? It's mortifying." Time to put her acting skills to use.

"I-it was an artistic statement," She said desperately, gesturing at the blank screen behind her.

"No it wasn't, it was you trying to make it look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you so you could stop looking like an outcast and like some sort of... hot... slutty... girl singer." Finn stood, enraged. He moved forward to Rachel, who glanced at Jesse. Good, he wasn't coming to defend her. Maybe he'd break up with her now.

"How could you do this to me? To all us guys? Is your stupid reputation worth more to you than your relationships?" Finn stormed from the room. Jesse, never one to miss an opportunity to act the drama queen also flounced from the room.

"Jesse, wait!" Rachel said, without much conviction. Puck stayed, but mostly because he couldn't be bothered to get up. He didn't need to throw a tantrum like a little girl to get his point across, anyway. Rachel knew he was pissed.

Quinn had cornered Rachel in the bathroom again.

"You snitched on me!" She said incredulously. Rachel blinked. She was in no mood for Quinn's hormonal tantrums. As much as she liked to act, she didn't like to pretend she was losing something, when actually she was happy about it, and now she was sort of upset because she was now genuinely unhappy because she'd had to act like she was upset when all she wanted to do was celebrate. Her brain hurt. But at least it seemed as though Jesse had gone.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked tiredly.

"You told Mr. Schue I made the Glist! I know you knew."

"Quinn, whilst I will freely admit to knowing you are the culprit of such a heinous and childish cry for attention, I did no such thing."

"Then how did he know?"

"Perhaps pretending he was in Law and Order actually helped him figure it out."

Quinn thought back to what had transpired between herself and her teacher. Mr. Schuester probably had worked it out on his own, judging by how understanding he had been, defending her from Figgins and explaining that he knew how it felt to be like her. To lose a good reputation before you knew what had hit you. But she was also fairly sure Rachel had something to do with it. Or maybe it was because she hadn't been able to get Rachel off her mind for the last few days, and actually the 'Run Joey Run' fiasco had made things so much worse.

She had spent most of her time trying to force images of Rachel kissing Puck and Rachel kissing Finn and Rachel kissing Jesse out of her mind. Now she knew she was in trouble, but no matter what she felt for her unlikely new crush, she would not act on it. But maybe... maybe she could try and be friends again. That was in fact why Quinn had found Rachel in the bathroom in the first place. So that she could apologise, ask to pretend what happened had never happened and then go back to how they had been a few weeks ago. Instead, she found her brain was not in control of her mouth and she was shouting at Rachel again. She needed to end this.

"How did you know?" Quinn asked softly.

"It wasn't hard to deduce it was you. I just had to rule out the most likely, and there you were. Not to mention you had the motive. You've been avoiding me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't really... I don't... know what to say,"

"After what happened, you mean?" Rachel asked. As terrified as she was of this inevitable conversation, she would not show fear, and she would not run. Not this time.

"Yes, after what... happened. Look, Rach, can we just forget it ever happened? I just want to be friends again. I wasn't thinking when I um... when I, you know..." Quinn trailed off, her fingers twisting together nervously in front of her. Rachel stepped closer, forcing Quinn to meet her eyes.

"When you kissed me?"

"Yeah, that. I think-"

"No."

"No?" Quinn squeaked. Why was she finding this so hard to deal with? Rachel was smaller than her, for God's sake. How could someone so tiny be so scary?

"No, I will not just pretend this never happened. You kissed me, and I know it meant something."

"What? No! I was just all... hormonal, and Santana said all this stuff, that you were gay for me and then Brittany said that I was gay for you and that I should just kiss you, and I wasn't thinking and I just wanted to know if-if you really did feel that way. I-I mean I wouldn't mind if you did, but you have to understand, Rach. I'm not gay." Quinn sputtered.

"You're not?" Rachel asked in a disbelieving tone. Quinn looked affronted.

"No, of course I'm not! I'm pregnant, hello?"

"Give me your notebook."

"Pardon?"
"Give me your notebook. The one you use in glee," Rachel held out her hand, eyebrows raised in impatience.

"I don't see why, but whatever," Quinn fumbled in her bag and handed it over. Rachel began to flip through. She stopped on the page where Quinn had drawn that picture of her back in their Madonna phase before their friendship had gone. Quinn's cheeks turned a funny shade of red.

"Oh," She said sheepishly, "you saw that." Rachel pursed her lips.

"Yes. But can you explain these?" She gestured to the hearts all around the picture. Funny, Quinn hadn't realised she'd done that. She went redder. Rachel passed the notebook back, flipping it shut. Then she walked to the final stall and pushed the door open.

"Come here,"

"What-"

"Just come here. Explain that." Rachel was pointing, and before Quinn could see what she was being shown she knew what it was. She reached Rachel and – if possible – went even redder than she was before. It was the stall she had spent one of her study periods in early in the year, before the babygate, where she had graffiti'd the entire wall with pictures of Rachel in... compromising positions. Above it were the words 'Tranny Porn', and 'Rachel Berry' with an arrow pointing to the drawings in Quinn's meticulously neat handwriting.

"Do I really have to explain what it is?" Quinn asked. She was embarrassed that she could have ever acted so childishly. "I'm so sorry I ever did all those things to you. I'm sorry I gave you a minus 5 on the glist, even if the score is probably very fair. I do live with Puck, I know everything that happened, or rather didn't. But I'm sorry I even made the stupid thing. Really."

"That's not what I mean. I want you to explain to me why you are drawing hearts around my picture, thinking of me in sexual situations and going out of your way to be close to me, disguising it as though you don't like me and want to bully me." Quinn couldn't look at Rachel. She was right. She was so right, and she had been so deeply in denial, she seemed to be the last one to know about her own feelings. It was as clear as day now. Her lip quivered. She couldn't be. She wouldn't be.

"You could have just ignored me. You would have done if you didn't care," Rachel was whispering now, and Quinn realised she was being backed into the stall by the petite brunette.

"You never really loved Finn. You only slept with Puck because Finn couldn't do it due to his problem with the mailman, and to convince yourself you did like men. That you weren't gay. But you wanted me. Even then, didn't you?" Quinn shook her head. Don't cry, she'll know you're lying!

"You don't have to lie to me, Quinn. I don't mind. I have two gay dads, remember. And a strong connection to the ACLU. I-" She paused, breath catching in her throat, "I like you, too."

"Gross," Quinn said, but she wasn't fooling anyone. Rachel inched closer, forcing Quinn to back into the wall.

"Just tell me," Rachel said authoritatively, but her eyes were shining with hope, and concern. She didn't want to be shot down. She didn't think she could take it.

"I can't,"

"I know it's hard. This is frustrating, Quinn. I feel like I'm suspended in gaffa." Rachel backed off a little, looking down at her feet. This wasn't going to work.

"Are your feet suddenly feet of mud?" Quinn asked suddenly. Rachel met Quinn's eyes quickly, a small smile appearing.

"It all goes slow-mo," Rachel responded, and Quinn smiled sadly.

"I don't know why I'm crying," She whispered, and a tear finally did fall. Rachel's heart felt like it was in her mouth, and it was beating stupidly fast.

"Am I suspended in gaffa?"

"Not 'til I'm ready for you." Rachel sighed. This was painfully cliché, but it was actually working. They were sorting out their issues through song. She knew musical worked this way, but this was something else.

"Can I have it all now?" She asked carefully. Quinn didn't reply. She held her breath. Rachel closed the difference between them and stood on tip-toes. She hovered there from a second, but Quinn wasn't stopping her. Then the distance between their lips was closed, too.

Rachel's brow furrowed and she breathed in sharply through her nose. She could feel Quinn's tears on her face, but Quinn was kissing her back, and neither of them were running. They were finally on the path to sorting things out.

Quinn couldn't quite believe what had just occurred, but actually it was good. It was really good. And incredibly cheesy, but possibly quite sweet at the same time. She wasn't sure how she'd never realised her feelings for Rachel before, but she was glad she recognised them now. Nothing could be better than this. Rachel pulled away and Quinn glowered at her. Rachel smiled shyly – Rachel Berry, shy? – and pressed her lips to Quinn's once more.

"Like this?" Quinn asked breathlessly. Rachel nodded, realising what Quinn was referencing. She remembered her words from their previous kiss in the bathroom, before she had high-tailed it as quickly as she could from the room. She nodded happily.

"Yes, like this. No running this time."

"I can't believe that just happened through a Kate Bush song."

"I can't believe you know Kate Bush."

"You know me... I like old music."

"Dork."
"So're you! You're the one that started it."

"Who would've thought it? We've been united by Bush." Quinn swatted Rachel's arm as she giggled. Quinn lazily kissed Rachel again, and growled a little when Rachel pulled away, but grew concerned when she saw the laughter leave Rachel's eyes.

"What?"
"We need to talk about this. About... us. Whatever we are." Quinn's face became equally serious at Rachel's words.

"Yeah... Just... not now?"

"Okay." Rachel's hands toyed with the collar of Quinn's cardigan. "Okay." She said again, more clearly. "We'll talk later."