Still own nothing

Raj and Alex talk it out

Raj parked his car down the block from Alex's apartment. She had called him at work and wanted to finish their talk. She had told him that there was something that she needed to tell him. He couldn't help but think that it was the results from her visit to the Doctor. Raj got out of the car and slowly walked to Alex's building. He almost dreaded what she was going to tell him. This one conversation was going to change his life forever.

There were so many things to consider. If she was pregnant, he was sure that he would ask her to marry him. But, would she accept his proposal? If she did accept, would it be just for the baby? Did she have as deep feelings for him as he had for her? How would they deal with his family? How did her family feel about him?

If she wasn't pregnant, would she want to continue in a relationship with him? How would this experience change their relationship? Was there a relationship? Was their relationship more than just one between an academic advisor and an advisee? Would they continue to work together now that she had been granted her PhD? Would her grant go through? Would she stay if she didn't get the grant?

Raj was truly dreading this conversation. He had always had trouble talking to women, now he could and he truly didn't want to. He was terrified what was about to happen. He had made up his mind for himself and knew he needed to tell her once and for all how he felt about her and what the results meant to him and to them. He needed to make sure that she understood, without a shadow of a doubt. He just didn't know how to say it.

Alex waited in her apartment on the couch. She had turned off the TV and couldn't concentrate on anything. She had asked that Raj come over. She had something to tell him. She just didn't know how he would take it. She thought that it might just be a short conversation. After all, why would he need to stay after she told him? Would the results end what they had together? Would he want to spend any more time with her? Could they continue to work together?

Their relationship had started out simply enough. She had needed advise on her thesis dissertation and he was recommended by the department head. She had known that he had difficulty talking to women unless he had a drink or two. That made things a little awkward because she didn't know if the advice he was giving was really thought through. After he came back from Korea, he seemed to be better at talking to women though. The experience really changed him. After they started to talk about work, he had asked her out to dinner. At first they were working meetings, but after a while, things got more comfortable and got a LOT more personal. They had decided to be in a committed relationship and started dating regularly. She had always thought that he was cute, and he was always a gentleman. He had helped her write her grant proposal and he coached her on her dissertation defense. The day that she had defended her thesis successfully, she was SO happy, she almost ran to his office to tell him. Raj suggested that they celebrate at a fancy four star restaurant. Everything was so romantic, the food, the music in the background, the company….. Raj walked her up to her apartment and gave her a congratulatory kiss good night, when the night over came her and she asked him in for a drink. Things escalated from there and they spent the night together. Alex was sure that that was the night that it had happened. But would he think that she had trapped him into something that he didn't want to do? To commit to something that he really wasn't ready for? In a way, it would make things just so perfect.

Raj came to the door and lightly knocked. He held his breath and swallowed hard.

Alex opened the door and looked at Raj. The look on his face was one of dread and almost fear. Alex took his hand and brought him to the couch and they sat down. As they sat down, Raj noticed an envelope on the coffee table. It was opened and the return address was from SETI. It was the decision on her grant. Raj was now more confused than before. Was this what she wanted to tell him about? Raj looked from the coffee table to Alex. "Alex, what…"

Alex was a little more assertive. Although you could hear a catch in her voice, she interrupted Raj's question. "Raj…. We need to talk, and we need to talk now… we keep trying and then one of us leaves… we need to lay it all out… some of the things that were making things difficult are now out in the open… I want you to know that I think you are really great…. I have really deep feelings for you… I do not want what we have to stop…"

Raj looked down and at Alex. A little hurt by her comment about deep feelings. "OK Alex, What DO we have? You say you have deep feelings for me. Well…. I love you… if nothing else has happened over the last few days… I need you to know that… It's not because of the baby… it's because of who you are…"

Alex looked back. "Raj, are you sure? You just started to talk to women… Are you sure that I'm THE ONE?"

Raj now took her hands. "Alex, I have been smitten with you from the very first minute we met in Sheldon's office. It just took a little time for me to get over my mutism. I can't explain it, maybe it was the prospect of what could have happened over in Korea, but the best thing that happened to me was when you needed help with your thesis. After that things were getting so much closer for us. It was like magic. Then there is the maybe Baby… Alex, it doesn't matter to me… if there is a baby, that would be the best thing I could think of. If there isn't…. it hurts a little, but there is still us. When you didn't know about the Grant, I told you I would have followed you wherever you went. And it wasn't because of the baby… It was because of you… Alex…. I LOVE you…. The question is… how do you feel abo….?"

Before he could finish his question, Alex looked directly into his eyes. "It's negative Raj, the test was negative".

Raj was completely taken by surprise, now focusing on the letter from SETI. "What?"

Alex held both of his hands and looked to the floor. "I'm not pregnant. They did a blood test…. And it was negative."

Raj looked down, clearly thinking. "Oh… I thought that with the envelope from SETI, you were going to say something about the grant…"

Alex tried to make eye contact with Raj. "Yeah, that came today too. The grant has been accepted. They are going to contact the University to let them know…. It looks like I'll be staying at Cal Tech…. Raj…. What are you thinking? This is a good thing…. Right?"

Raj put his hands on his knees, leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "Um… I…. Hooo boy…. This is a lot to take in….. I need to…."

Alex's eyes started to fill. "Raj, you're so great… but we really haven't gone out that long as a real couple… What about your family?"

Raj was a little agitated. "I can't tell you how tired I am about hearing about my family. It doesn't matter what they think. My feelings for you will not change. Sure it would be nice if they were a little more accepting. And that is something that we could work on. I'm sure if they actually met you, they would love you too. Priya is already on our side. My family will not be a problem. What about your family?.. I'm sure all this has been a bit of a shock to them as well…"

Alex smiled at that. "My Dad probably had something to do with the grant acceptance. He probably also did it so I could stay at Cal Tech. He thinks you are great. He is into "Alien communications" after all…" Alex giggled at her own little joke.

Raj giggled also. "Fair enough, but that is a little bit racist. SO where does that leave us?"

Alex got a little bit more serious. "It's not racist if it leads to us staying together… Raj… I'm willing to continue trying to see where this goes between you and me. I already told you I felt strongly for you, and this has just made me sure that I don't want to mess anything up. I would love to meet your family, I'm terrified quite frankly, but I really want to work this out. And it would not be fair to you if you had to alienate yourself from your family just for me".

Raj smiled. "OK great, but just so you know… if I had to choose between you and them…. You win… hands down. What do you say we take some time off from work and celebrate with a little vacation in India?"

Alex pulled Raj into a hug. "That would be great! We have to stay away from Dr. Cooper anyway so he can spend more time alone with his girlfriend anyway".

Raj looked puzzled at that remark, but didn't care as long as he could hold Alex.