Appraisal
Olivia stepped inside her apartment slowly, sure this time that all the proof that Alex had come back would be gone, and she would be transported back to the time she was in love with a ghost. It had been fourteen days since she had returned, but every day she was sure that this would be the day that she would wake up and find out that it had all been a dream.
Checking each room slowly, she could see pieces of Alex lying around the apartment, just as they had been when she'd left that morning. Alex's coffee cup was still resting in the sink next to hers. The clothes she had worn to bed were thrown on the pillow. Alex's smell was in the air and her toothbrush sat next to Olivia's in the holder. Olivia smiled as she threw herself onto the bed, feeling both ridiculous and grateful as she smelled the scent on Alex's pillow.
Olivia walked into the kitchen, grabbing a beer out of the fridge; she popped the top and savored the first taste of it on her tongue. She knew that Alex would be arriving in moments. She felt excited and childish, waiting anxiously to see the attorney walk back into her sights. Their relationship was strange—there was nothing that could be normal about a relationship that had been put on pause for two years. There was a lot for them to re-learn about each other.
Alex was staying with Olivia until she could find a place. Olivia had offered her more—to stay with her in there for as long as she wanted. Alex had insisted she find her own place and move there. Alex wanted them to move slowly. After all, they hadn't been living together when Alex had left, and while every minute they had been apart, they had wished to be together, they wanted everything to be right.
Olivia could see why Alex didn't want to rush into anything. They had both learned that their time together would never again be unlimited like they had first believed, but they also knew that jumping head first into something would be a mistake, so they held themselves back. They were going to date, even if it killed them both.
Besides the impromptu living arrangements, even though both of their bodies had cried out for each other, they had managed to stay off each other. Olivia let Alex snuggle against her on the couch, holding her tight, and while she couldn't deny her definite sexual attraction, she had to admit that it felt amazing to hold Alex tight in her arms and talk to her without expecting anything more.
There were a million reasons they were perfect for each other. Physically, Alex did things for Olivia that she had never felt before. Something about the way she moved, the way she smiled, and the way their bodies melded together made Olivia's knees go weak and her mouth water. When they kissed, her heart pounded in her chest and she wondered how she had ever survived without Alex in her life.
They both shared a deep passion for their jobs. They both had a certain undeniable sensitivity for other people's pain and heartache. Both of them had the power to hold the other one close and empathize—something Olivia had found was a rare and treasured trait since not many could possibly understand. Alex knew her—she knew when to reach out and when to hold back. She let Olivia have her space and she pushed in when Olivia needed her.
And then, there were a million reasons they were different and it should never work out. Alex shopped in a grocery store that had a whole aisle that was composed of cocktail garnishes. She cooked real food and ate it--healthy food that included things like vegetables and whole grains. Olivia shopped at the little bodega on the corner that was run by a guy who carried every brand of cigarette and milk that was usually one day from being sour. Not that it mattered. If the instructions didn't include the phrase "add water and heat," it was probably beyond her culinary expertise. Alex saved the environment. She recycled. She returned cans, and kept a paper recycling bin by her desk. She saved files to her laptop to reduce the amount of paper she used and rarely printed anything she could find another way. Olivia was sure she had killed an entire rainforest in post it notes alone. She used paper towels for everything, including things she was pretty sure paper towels were not supposed to be used for. She only used them once and then threw them away. Sometimes, she even threw her soda cans in the regular trash, which Alex would pick out. Alex had no vices. She ran when she was stressed, and read to relax. Sometimes, she even cleaned. She never smoked, rarely drank, and ate carrots like candy bars. Olivia had a weakness for chocolate and still loved a cold beer after work.
Despite their differences, though, they seemed to work together beautifully. The two weeks had flown by like a dream, and they had started to fall into a happy rhythm.
Swallowing the last of the beer in her hand, she rinsed the bottle, and threw it into her own private recycling bin on the top shelf of her kitchen cabinet behind a box of year old Triscuts, where she kept the empty bottles until she could ditch them later. Pulling out a full one from the stash on the bottom shelf, she slid it into the empty spot in the fridge, and stared at it, making sure that it looked the same as it had before she had drank it. Impulsively, she grabbed a second, replacing that one, and then downing it quickly she disposed of that bottle. She stepped into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She wasn't sure why she hid the beer from Alex. It was only a few, nearly nothing at all. She wasn't really hiding it. It was right there in the fridge. And the case wasn't really hidden, it just wasn't sitting out. She guessed now it was just a habit. She wasn't smashed, after all. It was just one or two to relax. She hadn't been caught since that night two years ago when Elliot had confronted her and made her promise to stop, and for the most part she had. For the most part.