Fin's arrival in the basement signaled the end.
Immediately, it was the end of her attack. It was the end of her undercover assignment. It was the end of Sealview, and she promised herself she would not look back. The moment that Fin arrived was the moment that she was able to, even if only for a moment, able to take a modicum of control back over what had quickly become an uncontrollable situation.
Now, in the aftermath, while Fin wrapped a protective hand around her waist and led her out of the basement while Harris was led away, she was forced to process what had occurred. Each of the moments flashed through her head, and she pressed just as hard to push them out of her mind. Everything was fine. She was fine. Nothing had happened. What had almost happened was beside the point.
She was angry. Angry at what happened to Ashley Tyler. Angry at what had happened to her. She was angry at what she had seen and at what she hadn't been able to stop inside the prison gates. She was angry at herself for getting into the situation in the first place. What the hell had she been thinking? Where had her instincts gone? She had gotten so wrapped up in taking this guy down that she had forgotten the first rule—protect yourself. How stupid could you be?
She wanted to go home. Go back to her apartment and pretend that none of this had ever happened, but she had the sneaking suspicion that none of this would be that easy. She wanted to put it all behind her, prosecute the bastard and then move on as though nothing had ever happened. They had already informed her that Alex would not be prosecuting this one—not when the charges involved her assault. She was thankful for that. Even though she had left certain details about her own personal drama out of the police report, she didn't want Alex reading the file and obsessing over the details. She didn't want to share the whole ugly affair with Alex. This was something that she would keep inside her, one of the things she would hold onto and never share with anyone. She needed it to be that way.
Of course, they would have to talk about it. Some level of it. The idea made her nauseous.
Getting out of Sealview had been a relief, she was safe, now. It was bittersweet, though. The happiness was laced with the fact that the corruption there still existed. She may have been able to take down one of the guards, but who knew how many more were doing the same things as Harris?
She told them that he had tried to attack her. She left out details that she didn't want in the report. She couldn't stand that she pushed so many women to recall every detail, every moment, and then, when she was faced with the same situation, she was the one refusing to report.
Elliot sat in the room as she recalled the events. She watched as he got up, anger flashing in his eyes, and she watched as he returned five minutes later with bloody knuckles that he tried to cover. She couldn't stand Elliot looking at her like a victim and that's all she saw in his eyes now. He already protected her more than he should, and this would take it over the top. Telling him the rest of the story felt out of the question—his anger so out of control at the discussion of her physical assault she knew would be tripled with the further revelations of what had truly happened.
Driving back with Fin, she reminded him that nothing happened. He looked at her, the bruises on her face, having seen the bruises on her body, and nodded numbly. He had seen her on her knees in front of Harris. He had seen Harris' pants around his ankles. He knew that Olivia had faced more than a punch in the gut but he kept his mouth shut, letting her take control, trusting her to do the right thing. Trusting her to make the right choices.
Taking her to the hospital under Cragen's orders, her bruises were treated and the pain in her chest, a pain she knew to be a broken rib was confirmed by the doctor's x-ray. Fin returned with her to the station house, both of them giving statements.
Alex had met her there, tears streaming down her face when she saw the bruises on Olivia's face. Alex treated her like she was fragile. Every time she caught sight of the dark bruises than ran down the side of Olivia's chest, tears sprang to her eyes, and Olivia felt even less connected.
She didn't know what to or what to say to anyone. When Fin approached her, a week after she'd been back, after Harris had been arrested the second time, she was wary. "Let's go out." He offered.
She looked at him and considered the prospect of another night of Elliot staring at her or Alex tiptoeing around her, and agreed. Fin wrapped his arm over her shoulder as they found their way out the door. "Where do you want to go, baby girl?"
Olivia looked at him, and then back out at the street in front of her. She smiled at him, and stood up as straight as she could. "Let's go get wasted." She said, to him, and he smiled at her.
"That's my girl," he said.
Glad he was oblivious, she smiled at him. "First round's on you."
Fin smiled. "Of course."
"I need this." She said, absently, thinking about getting lost and forgetting everything.
"Need what?" Fin asked her.
"A night out." She said absently, knowing that's not what she meant at all.