Fire Radio-June 5th 1930
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. According to reports the notorious criminal Itachi Uchiha has robbed the Kinzuko Collective bank in koozan. According to reports Itachi worked with only one partners and no one was harmed. Itachi was supposedly driving a Rolls Royce, that was reported missing from the Uchiha estate after the massacre.

Fire Radio-July-3rd 1930
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. The Notorious Itachi Uchiha's crime spree continues, bringing his total robbery counts to five banks in the matter of a month. Reports from the capital indicate that a task force is being formed in conjecture with Konoha in order to hunt him down.

In other news Itachi Uchiha's partner has been positively identified as Kisame Hoshigaki, a missing nin from Water. Kisame was a former member of the seven marines, before killing the dictator of water. Kisame reported has "super strenght" used to tear open the doors of bank vaults.

Fire Radio-September 20th 1930
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. After a 5 five hour stand off with both conventional and nin forces, Itachi and Kisame have avoided capture. Reportedly the two were believed to be captured, but were switched with exploding clones.

Fire Bureau of Investigation Hooga has indicated that he believes Itachi has fled the country, and it will "be a long time before we hear from him again.

Fire Radio- December 27th 1930
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. Proving Hooga's words wrong, Itachi Uchiha has surfaced in Sunagakure, it what can only be dubbed "the Christmas Caper." The notorious duo has stolen the ruby eye of the Kazekage, a gift given during the founding of the village by the King of Wind.

According to reports, the caper began on the 23rd, when a mysterious oasis appeared in the desert. It is now believed that this was conjured by Kisame, who is an expert in water. The Kazekage send numerous guards, leaving his tower ungraded. On Christmas even Itachi snuck into the tower and stole the ruby.

However Itachi isn't entirely heartless. According to a source close to the Kaze, he left gifts in the wake of the caper; a fan for the Kage's daughter, a wind user, a book on tactics for his oldest son, and a sand castle kit for his younger one. The Kage himself was reportedly given a lump of coal.

Fire Radio- February 5th 1931
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. Coniuning their international tour, notorious criminal Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki have struck Iwa! In an exploit rivaling the Christmas caper, the two snuck into the records of Iwa.

Exactly what they were after is unknown. However according to rumors not only did the two manage to sneak in undetected, but they had enough time to edit the files. Reportedly several files were marked in red pen, offering spelling corrections as well as pointing out various inaccuracies in the files. If so I imagine Iwa is scrambling to make sure they didn't edit anything non-obviously.

Fire Radio- February 25th 1931
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. The earth tour continues, with the Statue of the fourth Tsuchikage being deface. Kisame Hoshigaki, using his gun to deface the statue of the Kaze, destroying the left arms and adding numerous scars. A message was left

"Now he looks just like he did after the war. Maybe I should do Konoha next.
-Signed Kisame"

Fire Radio- March 5th 1931

This, this is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic ERCH!

Get on with it!

Ahackk, guhh

Kisame, I don't believe he can breathe with you laying Samehada on top of him, not everyone has your strength.

(Sound of moving weight, heavy breathing.) I'm waiting…

Right, Fire Radio would like to issue a correction. It seems we mistakenly referred to Kisame Hoshigaki as a "he", however Kisame is actually female.

That's right. Honestly you mamale centric idiot. I'm part shark, SHARKS DON'T have breasts. So why would I? It's infuriating.

Kisame?

What?

I believe it's time for us to leave.

Fine Fine, stupid idiots with mamal centric gender views (Kisame's voice fade out)

Are you alright?

What? I mean I'm fine, I'm fine!

I am terribly sorry about that, but she really does get sensitive about the gender thing. Hopefully we won't have to trouble you again.

Fire Radio- May 9th 1931
This is Fire Radio, the voice of the republic and the hottest station is the countries. Itachi Uchiha and his female partner Kisame have turned up Kumogakura. Combined with the initial crimes in their home villages, the two have now raided every major ninja village.

According to reports, Itachi was supposedly foiled before he could manage to steal anything. But critics have dismissed this as Kumo propaganda. A second rumor claims that Itachi Uchiha was cornerd by one of Kumo kunoichi at the edge of a cliff. Itachi reportedly allowed her to get close before kissing her, giving a wave and jumping of the edge. Some have expressed the hope that he may be dead. But given the cliff lead to the ocean and his female partner's affinity for the water, this reporter doubts it.

Written by clockworkchaos