So I want to clarify that the reason this is all still in Italics is because it's still kind of a flashback to the awkward conversation at the beginning. I started this piece with the intention of it being much shorter, but things didn't work out that way. Bear with me though. Hopefully I will soon be able to return to unslanted text.
Disclaimer: Once more I own nothing that doesn't belong to me.
Amy waited expectantly for Penny to say something, anything that she had heard from Leonard.
"Apparently the other day Leonard walked in on Sheldon looking up some really explicit material online and this started a huge conversation." Penny said flailing her arms around at the word really and huge.
"You mean he was watching porn?"
"Well no. I think it was something with diagrams. He was actually taking notes apparently." Penny smiled at Amy. "That's really cute, isn't it?"
"Penny he was looking up how to have sex."
"Yeah… that's not really that cute." Penny looked like she was trying to force out some really disturbing images from her mind. "But I'm sure it is for you." The blonde gestured to Amy with a cheesy smile.
"Alright. I guess that's proof he actually is taking an interest in becoming intimate, but how did Leonard figure he was going to initiate things last night?"
"Well Sheldon said he was."
"I can't see him offering that up out of the blue."
"Well the conversation was longer than that, but both Leonard and I don't really want to think about the details of Sheldon's sex life." Penny gave another cheesy smile once again gesturing to Amy. "But I'm sure it is for you."
Amy would have normally found her best friends behavior really endearing, but she wanted a bit more than Penny was offering.
"Alright. I don't need graphic details here, Bestie. I just want to know how Leonard figured Sheldon was going to initiate things last night because I'm gonna tell you from my end it went pretty much like our last few date nights."
"And you can't think of any reason your last few date nights were different from your usual date nights?" Penny said with the same look she had when she opened the door. If only the directors could see the capabilities of that pretty face.
"Nothing really. No touching, except last night. Nothing special ever happened we just stayed in and watched a movie."
"And who decided those date nights would be at your apartment?"
"Well Penny don't be silly you know Sheldon picks…. OH." Penny only nodded with her silly grin.
"Oh my God." Amy said sounding oddly like Penny. "So are you saying it wasn't just last night, but all those nights?"
"Yep, well at least that's what Sheldon told Leonard. But Leonard told him he was moving like a snail so being Mr. Arrogant he said he would get it done last night. Guess he didn't though."
Amy frowned and Penny continued. "But don't worry I won't tell Leonard though he probably already knows. Sheldon is a horrible liar."
Amy still did not respond. "Listen, Amy. I know you are a little disappointed, but I think this is good news. I mean you guys admitted your feelings last night and maybe that will help things out."
"I don't know. Sheldon acted like the news I love him was no big deal. He kind of thought it was a given we already did. Not exactly a whirlwind romance."
"Ugh. That sounds so like Sheldon. You are a better woman than I, Amy."
"No one's as good as you, Bestie." Penny had the grace to blush or maybe it was just the alcohol. "Unless it comes to telling stories because I want more details than you have supplied."
Penny glared at her. "Alright. Well I don't know much more because after Leonard said Sheldon wanted to have sex everything else after that, though interesting, paled in comparison."
"Understandable, but try to recall."
"Well as you know Leonard said that Sheldon had been thinking about this for some time, but Sheldon was frustrated that after two tries he still had not made any sort of move. He told Leonard that the third time was the charm and he would do it last night. So speed things up, that didn't happen as you say." Penny paused. "Right?"
"No. That did not happen." Amy said firmly, but with the intent for Penny to continue.
"Alright. So he asked Leonard how he makes his move generally."
"Oh my God we can both get had by the same move. Isn't that amazing?" Amy suggested.
"Uhh… yeah." Penny said with thinly veiled disturbance that only Sheldon or Amy would miss. "But anyway Leonard apparently gave him details." Penny grasped the bridge of her nose. "Which I will have you know mortifies me, Amy. You better pick up the next lunch bill."
"Done." Amy responded.
"So apparently Sheldon was going to use the old "do things that interest her routine and then use the guilt compounded over the evening to get the lady in bed"."
"That's Leonard's move?" Amy said so disappointed she could not believe it. "That needs a better name."
"I know, right? It's the lamest thing ever. Usually a "move" involves a sweet line and some casual contact that makes the knees buckle." Penny said dreamily, her mind obviously in her more promiscuous past. Lucky girl, Amy thought.
"Wait… does Leonard's work?"
Penny visibly blanched. "No…"
"And you think Sheldon is a terrible liar."
"Alright, fine. It actually does, but you know I guilt easily."
"I know. I recall our sad puppy eye conversation after you slept with Leonard. Weak, Penny. Let me just remind you."
"I know. I know." Penny said.
"Sheldon doesn't need to guilt me into bed. He knows I want to have sex with him."
"He knows and he doesn't know. He thinks you want to be intimate, but I'm not certain that he believes you want him explicitly or even him at all. I wonder if Sheldon thinks you are just settling for him."
"Sheldon would never think that. He thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread and admittedly I think he is though a degree of modesty would be nice sometimes."
"Yeah well that arrogance is often just a cover-up for his true feelings. And you are probably the only person, at least that I have known, that Sheldon truly respects. I mean he loves his friends, though he won't admit that either, but he really respects you Amy. I think he finds you not only his intellectual match, but his emotional match which is something that no one else has ever supplied him with."
"That was really very eloquent, Penny." Amy said not fully comprehending Penny's words, but rather amazed at the eloquence of them.
"I'm a college girl now, Amy." Penny said touching her nose and pointing to Amy with a wink. "But you are getting the point I'm trying to make right?"
Amy looked at her friend for a moment and after some thought spoke. "I would like to agree with you. The rational part of me agrees with you as well, but the irrational part, the part that makes me different from Sheldon isn't quite so sure."
"Sheldon isn't so different from the rest of us and certainly not you. I'm not sure whether or not you should confront him, let him know you know, I think that that would pressure him a little much. I think it's best to play dumb."
"Oh Penny, you know I'm a terrible liar too."
"Not as bad as Sheldon, and he can't read people's emotions out of a paper bag."
"He knows me."
"He does, but this is new for him. I've known him for a long time. I don't think he'll catch on as long as you aren't too weird." Penny eyed her skeptically.
"I think I can manage."
"Anyway, Sheldon thought that was actually a good move, which is why I assume he let you watch the movie you did. I really didn't think he would do it. I'm almost as shocked as I would have been if you guys had had sex."
Amy glared at Penny as the blonde continued. "So anyway I'll assume he'll do something similar the next time you have a date night, though that's not really for another month so it seems like you have a ton of time to prepare. I have some recommendations for you, but I'd appreciate if we could refer to Sheldon as anything, but Sheldon when I give you the tips because I am not dealing with those images, okay?"
"Fair enough." Amy conceded for the second time that night. The girl was as reasonable with her demands as she was pretty.
"You know, he has been prepared these last three months. He's kept three condoms in his wallet, Leonard told me."
"Three?"
"Yeah I know, rather ambitious. Amy, I'm going to be honest with you, don't expect much from a man who having sex his first time. It will probably be over in like 4 seconds. Sometimes it's still like that if you get them riled up enough."
"I know. I'm a scientist, Penny."
"Eh. I forgot you aren't Sheldon, he probably covered his ears at those parts." Penny laughed.
"Sadly, that's probably true." Amy said mournfully, but not without a hint of humor. It was after all probably the truth and Amy was learning to look on the brighter side of things.
And so Penny and Amy continued to speak for another half hour until a knock resounded at the door. It was Bernadette who did not even wait to be let in.
"I'm so glad you never lock that door. I need a drink."
Amy and Penny shared a look and without another word were out for another of their impromptu girls' nights. If highschool Amy could see her now.
When Amy finally stumbled down the hall to her apartment at 1:00 in the morning she was finally starting to see straight. She think she had paid the taxi driver correctly or at least she hoped. Well it would be Penny or Bernadette's problem. They dropped her off first. She hiccupped and laughed to herself.
Amy was surprised at how quickly she unlocked the door to her apartment, but that is when she realized she had not unlocked it at all. It was already unlocked. Amy remembered the distinct click of the lock in the morning. Her neighbor had been broken into a week earlier and she had been hyperconscious of the lock since then. Someone else had certainly opened her door.
It was sobering enough so that as the door shut behind her she went to reach for the bat she kept in her umbrella stand, knocking off her glasses in the process.
"Amy." A voice rang out. She took a swing and missed the figure. "Dear Lord, Amy. It's Sheldon."
"Oh." She put the pat down and kneeled in an attempt to find her glasses.
"Amy." He sounded offended. "You almost hit me."
"I'm sorry Sheldon I didn't know it was you." She retrieved her glasses and stood up. "And on further thought I'm not sorry. You shouldn't be letting yourself into my apartment. How did you even get in here?"
"Uh."
"You did this before Sheldon. How would you feel if the situation was reversed and I just traipsed into your apartment willy nilly?"
"Fine. I'm sorry. I already bare that cross with Penny." Wow. That was definitely far too easy.
"What's going on, Sheldon?" Amy said her breath evening from the scare.
He stared at her with his arms crossed awkwardly over his chest. His posture was as lack luster as usual, but before answering he straightened his back a bit. "I left my clothes here, but you weren't home. I texted you so many times."
Amy checked her phone to see she indeed had 7 unread text messages from Sheldon. One even informing her he was in her apartment. "I'm sorry Sheldon. I was out with Penny and Bernadette. I don't understand though. After you let yourself in, why didn't you just take your clothes and go?" Amy said moving around Sheldon to start putting her stuff down on the table. As she was walking she kicked off her shoes.
"Amy… have you been drinking?"
"Yep." She said. "But I'm mostly sober now. Am I going to have to take you home, Sheldon? It's 1:20 in the morning."
"I know. You've ruined my sleep schedule by not being home and not being responsible. Why do you have your phone if you aren't going to use it?" She rolled her eyes at him, not caring if he noticed as she put up some water for tea.
"You could of at least had a nap. I didn't even get a chance to undo your sheets yet actually. Is Leonard going to come get you?"
"No."
"So like I asked earlier am I going to have to drive you?"
"You've been drinking." He said, his faced contorting slightly.
"You give me a few minutes and some tea, we should make it just fine."
"Oh. How comforting." Sheldon said using sarcasm. Amy was somewhat impressed. She actually smiled, the first time since she ran into her unwanted and unexpected surprise. Not that she did not want Sheldon most of the time, but she wanted sleep just a bit more at the precise moment.
"You gonna take the bus?"
"You aren't going to offer to let me stay?"
"You are always welcome to stay, Sheldon. I just thought you would not want to two nights in a row. I thought this wasn't habit."
He fidgeted, seemingly aghast at the idea of this becoming habit. "Of course it's not. Things just happened to work out this way."
"Alright. Well I'm going to go take a shower and unwind then. You make yourself comfortable." Before she could leave her eyes fell to the bag next to Sheldon at the counter. "What's that?"
"New clothes. I brought another emergency pair, but looks like it's a waste because I'll have to use it tomorrow." Amy rolled her eyes. "Stop rolling your eyes Amy. Pour me some tea and have a drink with me before you shower."
"Fine. But let's at least sit on the sofa. I'm beat."
"Very well."
Amy fell down gracelessly onto the sofa and sighed. So comfortable. She might just skip the shower. Sheldon sat down stiffly next to her. She got the sense he was trying to seem somewhat cross with her.
"Amy, I don't think you should go out so late. It's not safe for a young woman." He sounded a lot like his mom in that moment and a little bit like hers too.
"I do this all the time."
"Yes, well seeing you as you are now does not give me much comfort."
"You worried about me?" She said boldly turning to face him with a smile. Maybe she was still a little drunk.
"Of course, I worry about you. I'm your boyfriend." Her smile increased and Sheldon looked at her exasperated over her cup. "You aren't being serious, Amy."
"I am. I am very serious right now, Sheldon. I promise I'm not lying. Bernadette and Penny tell me I can't lie when I'm drunk. If I'm not drunk I won't be able to answer honestly."
"Ask you something?" Sheldon looked skeptical, but then contemplative. "Anything?" He said placing his teacup on the coffee table and leaning a little forward.
"Sure, why not. I don't have anything better to do."
He glared at her. "We were having a conversation."
"Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I'll be careful."
"Good." He took a breath. "So, you ever think about Leonard when you fantasize."
The alarms went off in Amy's head. What the hell was he talking about and where did that come from. Was he still dwelling on there early morning conversation. She sat bolt upright. "No. Sheldon- I was not expecting that to be your question. I don't think of Leonard that way."
"Raj?"
"No."
"Howard?"
"No."
Sheldon paused. "Will Wheaton?"
"Definitely not."
"Stuart?" That one was almost quiet.
"Of course not. We went out once, Sheldon."
Sheldon leaned back on the sofa. "Well that's a relief." He was seemingly done with his questions. "We don't really know anyone else."
Amy had to laugh though that was not really the truth. "You forgot about Zach." She let out a breathy giggle smiling to herself. Then she noticed Sheldon tense next to her.
"Zach?" Sheldon repeated.
Ah yes. Amy was definitely sober and this was definitely where the story all began.
So the rest of the story should take place where it came in. Hopefully that's all still in your memory.
Always love to hear your thoughts.
I'll update soon. I think some real progress is going to be made in the next chapter.