Articles
Disclaimer: Downton Abbey would be a very different show, believe me, if I were the one in charge. Downton Abbey belongs to one Julian Fellowes.
Paring/ Character(s): Edith Crawley/ Patrick/ Mary Crawley
Grief
Edith had waited for this night, she'd waited and wished and dreamed of it since Papa had told them a few weeks ago. Patrick would be visiting. She'd begun planning what she would wear and what she would say that very moment. She'd always thought him cute – a curly haired little boy with a lazy smile and intelligent eyes – but he'd grown up to be absolutely handsome.
Well she'd grown too and Edith was determined that he notice he surely would – he was so smart and he'd seen her once before. They'd been hiding from Nanny in the garden and the way he'd looked at her. She was certain he'd seen her and that had been ages ago. They were older now – there was now something for him to see if he really looked at her (rather than through her the way everyone else did).
The evening had started so well – she got to have wine and ware her favorite blue dress that made her so delicate and womanly. But best of all she got to sit beside Patrick at dinner. They would have so much to talk about, it would be magical. She would be lovely and witty and he would be handsome and smitten.
Except he wasn't. Her dream evening was an utter nightmare. Patrick hardly looked at her all night, didn't notice her at all. Mary. He was enamored with Mary – hanging on her words, admiring her grace. And Mary that…that… (Edith couldn't even think of a word strong enough) ignored him. She brushed him off. She reveled in his attention, lorded it over her sister but while she loved the power she didn't care for Patrick at all. Mary didn't care for anyone but Mary, which made Edith seethe. Patrick deserved care and admiration. Oh Patrick I love you. I love you more than Mary ever could or would.
But as she watched Patrick watch Mary she realized, with all the pain of needles and hot coal being shoved under her fingernails and her veins, that as much as she loved him he would never love her back.