Justin contemplates his decision to return to the Pitts as the memories begin to emerge; will it turn out to be a big mistake?
One Hour Later…Justin's Living Room
Katie huffed at her father. "What is taking him so long? Is Daddy bringing the entire house with him?" She and Kaylee had finished packing her sister's things over thirty minutes ago, even though if it had been HER packing she would have had it done within ten minutes. Her sister was bringing way too many frilly clothes and makeup to suit HER taste. As much as she loved her sister, she was silently glad that Britin had more than enough room for Kaylee to have her own bedroom, because she knew she would go nuts having to look at all of her sister's cutesy things in her own room.
Kaylee shrugged from her place next to her sister on the couch. "Just look at it as a good sign," she told her, trying to stay optimistic. "He must be planning on us being gone for a good while instead of a few days."
Brian snorted from his chair nearby. "Not necessarily," he told them. "Your father always could turn even a weekend getaway into a reason for hiring a U-Haul. You should have seen how much stuff he insisted on taking with us when we went to Vermont for skiing one year." Brian had finally followed through on their plans for a snowy getaway one winter before the girls were born, even caving in to Justin's wish for a room at a B and B with a fireplace and a Jacuzzi, just like he had always wanted. The suite, encompassing the entire upper floor of the three-story Elizabethan home, even had French doors leading out to the balcony where the Jacuzzi was located, affording a wondrous view of the Green Mountains surrounding them on three sides below. He had to admit afterward – skiing all day and then making love in the Jacuzzi in the evening (after Justin had been suitably fed, of course) had wound up being a lot more enjoyable than he would have ever thought. In fact, he had wondered afterward why he hadn't taken him there long ago; snow, Andes chocolate mints, fireplaces, and Jacuzzis apparently made Justin a very horny boy…
Brian heard giggling nearby and blinked, noticing he had been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed. "What?" he asked his daughters who grinned back at him.
"You must have had a good time skiing," Katie told him as she smiled at her sister knowingly, who nodded in agreement.
Brian's brows lifted in curiosity. "What makes you say that?"
Kaylee grinned. "Because you had this goofy sort of look on your face just now."
Brian harrumphed. "I never look goofy," he told them. He had to smile, though, as he admitted, "But it was great." He had long ago abandoned the "not bad" euphemism for something good; not telling the whole truth had already gotten him into enough trouble; he figured it was time he start being upfront for a change.
"Yeah, it was," Justin said softly from his place in the doorway as three heads turned to look at him; he had a portfolio bag slung across his shoulder and was clutching the same old ratty black duffel bag he had had since the beginning of time. He straightened up a little as he added, "But that was a long time ago," not wanting to get Brian's - or the girls' - hopes up.
Neverthless, Brian filed the first comment away for later use as he snorted. "You still have that thing? I would have thought an artist of your stature could have at least afforded Gucci by now."
Justin dropped the duffel bag by his side as Brian observed a large, navy-blue canvas suitcase sitting behind him. "It still has a lot of use left in it," he insisted a little defensively. Truthfully he had no idea why he still carted it around; he actually had a carryon bag upstairs that matched the bigger suitcase that would have been more useful for their trip. He suspected it was more for sentimentality's sake than for practicality, though, but he refused to consider that at the moment, especially when Brian was staring at him with that piercing sort of smirk on his face. He wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of verifying he was correct in his assumption, however. "No sense in wasting money if I don't have to."
Brian's lips curled under dryly. "Of course not," he murmured as Justin glared at him. "Makes perfect sense why you would hold onto a piece of ratty old burlap that's ready to fall apart."
Justin shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Can we just move on, Brian?" he asked. "I'm sorry if it offends your fashion sense, but we have more important matters to worry about at the moment, don't you think?"
Brian grinned. "Whatever you say, Sunshine," he told him politely, deliberately throwing out his pet name almost as if to bait him as the two girls watched the exchange in rapt fascination. Brian rubbed his hands on his jeans briskly a few times before he patted his thighs and stood up, noticing with curiosity that Justin didn't utter a snappy retort for a change; perhaps they were making progress. Glancing over at the street, he could see a medium-sized limousine idling underneath the streetlamp nearby. "Looks like our ride is here, so let's get going, then." He reached over to pick up Kaylee's makeup case, wrinkling his nose in distaste at the pink vinyl container plastered with yellow and white daisies in a 60's sort of hippie motif that resembled an old-fashioned Barbie doll case. "Uh…I think I'll let one of you take care of this one," he told his daughters as they giggled at his reaction.
Even Justin had to smile a little at Brian's response as Kaylee retrieved the makeup case while Katie grasped the handle of her sister's carryon suitcase and began to wheel it toward the door. Brian walked over to join them as he reached over to pick up Justin's duffel bag.
"I can take care of that," Justin protested stiffly as he reached to take it from Brian's hand; he wasn't some weakling that needed another man to take care of him. As their hands brushed against each other, though, the adrenalin in his entire body came alive, rushing to his face as he gasped softly at the simple, accidental touch. His and Brian's eyes met and lingered on each other for a few interminable seconds before he immediately averted his gaze awkwardly and let go of the bag. "Have it your way, then," he mumbled as he hefted his portfolio up onto his shoulder higher and reached for the handle of his large suitcase. He looked over at their two daughters staring at him as he cleared his throat and told them, "Let's go, girls. I have to give Mrs. Bailey the spare key. I'll join you and your father in just a minute." He walked over and opened the door, leaving them behind with Brian as he walked over to the other side of the duplex.
The two girls looked over at Brian who nodded at them to proceed as they carted Kaylee's luggage out the door and down the steps toward the limo; he smiled briefly as he heard the two girls squealing over getting to ride in such an opulent vehicle as the chauffeur held the door open for them to enter. After closing the door firmly behind him, Brian remained for a few moments on the stoop as he watched Justin walking the few steps over to his neighbor's door, feeling the stiff canvas handle of the duffel bag under his fingers as memories flooded back to him in an instant: Justin's mother plopping the hideous object down on his desk at Ryder as she announced her son was now his responsibility; throwing it at Justin in a huff later as he sarcastically explained that his mother sent him 'his love;' pushing the bag into Justin's hands as he ordered him to take his stuff and get out after the loft had been robbed; coming home months later to find Justin's things gone after he had moved out of the loft and into that hideous weasel's shithole of an apartment.
He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds at how the pain from that dreadful time still lingered even now; it wasn't until he had come home later that the enormity of what he had done had been realized. It was almost as painful as the time later when Justin had moved in with Michael, or even worse, when he had used the same hideous bag as a makeshift baby bag for Kaylee's bottles, clothes, rattles, and diapers when he and their daughter had left for good. He sighed; he was really starting to detest this damn bag. Why Justin still held onto it to this day was a mystery, but he had his strong suspicions that it wasn't due to a sense of thriftiness.
He watched as Justin knocked and an older woman opened both the screen and storm doors to greet Justin with a smile. He heard them talking quietly for a little while, noticing with interest that Justin didn't mention specifically when he would be returning as he gave the woman the key and thanked her for taking care of the cats and watching over his part of the house. That at least gave him some hope that perhaps Justin wasn't planning on returning too soon; he had an inkling it would take some time to straighten out not only the custody arrangement but more importantly make Justin realize that their relationship – and he – deserved a second chance.
Realizing Justin was wrapping up his conversation with Mrs. Bailey and not wanting to appear too pushy, Brian quietly turned and headed toward the limo, entering to find the girls sitting on one side of the vehicle while leaving the other side completely empty. He placed his hands on his hips as he eyed them from across the door and had to chuckle. "You're not very subtle, are you?" he asked them.
Neither girl appeared embarrassed at all as they merely answered him with identical shrugs of their shoulders. Brian shook his head, glancing behind him to make sure Justin wasn't nearby before he walked over and sat down on the edge of the leather bench seat opposite his daughters. "Just remember," he told them softly. "You're both going to have to be on your 'A-Game'; your father's a very smart man, and I have a feeling he's going to do everything in his power to figure out which of you is which. Don't let your guard down for even a second, or the jig will be up before it starts…Got it?"
The girls grinned at Brian conspiratorily as they nodded their understanding, their faces promptly plastering on a more neutral expression as they noticed Justin appearing alongside the vehicle's door; the chauffeur took the larger suitcase from him briefly to enable him to enter the limo before Justin dropped the omnipresent duffel bag down on the floor and reached for the suitcase.
As the door closed behind him, he had a chance to survey the setup and huffed out an exasperated breath. "Well, isn't this cozy?" he commented dryly as the two girls eyed him innocently. "One of you couldn't sit with your father?"
"Sit down, Mr. Taylor, or you'll wind up in my lap instead of the seat when the limo leaves," Brian warned him as he reached for Justin's suitcase and rolled it over toward the rear of the vehicle, placing it flat on the other part of the seat where Justin might have sat if he hadn't blocked his way with it. He figured his daughters weren't the only ones who could be 'creative.'
He winked covertly at the two girls when Justin wasn't looking as his ex-partner sighed and, resigned to his predicament, took a moment to pull the art portfolio's strap over his neck and prop it up against the partition separating the driver from the passenger area before he walked the couple of steps over and sat down next to Brian, taking particular heed not to get too close to his denim-clad thigh. Just the thought of sitting in his ex-lover's lap next to that impressive cock of his was enough to make his pants feel a little tight. Brian smirked knowingly as Justin rolled his eyes and deliberately looked anywhere else but directly into his smug face as the vehicle slowly pulled out into traffic, taking him away from his comfortable but predictable life and back toward what would no doubt be a much more complicated and harrowing one.
"Drink?" he heard Brian ask after several seconds of silence. Justin turned his head, noticing the girls eyeing them intently as he shook his head. "No, thanks…I had my hemlock earlier."
The girls frowned and looked at each other, wondering exactly what sort of drink 'hemlock' was as Brian snorted. "Just as well; I think they're fresh out of that libation in here." He looked over at their two girls to ask, "Want something to drink? Kaylee? Katie?" He made sure to say both girls' names, careful not to make any differentiation between them.
Justin's ears perked up; perhaps this was the way to tell them apart, because Kaylee had a peculiar habit of always wiping the lip of a can or bottle off with her sleeve or a napkin before she took a drink. He watched as one of the girls leaned over to cup her hand over the other girl's ear as she whispered to her urgently for several seconds before they finally both shook their heads firmly. "No, thanks, Dad," they said in unison as they both folded their hands across their chests and leaned back in their seat; even the stance of their feet was the same as they crossed them at the ankles. Justin sighed in frustration, realizing his hopes had been effectively dashed once more. It was going to be a long flight back to the Pitts. He stole a sideways glance over at Brian, who chose the same time to turn his head and look at him as he grinned back, thoroughly enjoying himself. That, of course, merely made Justin even more disgusted. Giving up for now, though, he closed his eyes wearily as the vehicle slowly drove toward the airport, deciding his battle would have to be fought another day.
Brian took advantage of the time to peer over at his ex-lover unabashedly, scrutinizing every facet of Justin's peaceful-looking face – the long, silky, wheat-colored lashes, hair the color of spun gold that softly fell into his eyes, the curve of his jaw, the flawlessness of his skin, the delicate, perfectly shaped ears. He had kissed, licked, and bit every delectable inch of Justin's body at one time or another, but as he currently admired his ex-partner's beauty, his heart was overwhelmed by the memories and feelings that Justin had invoked in him, still invoked in him. He longed to pull him into his arms at that moment and refuse to let him go until he understood just how much he meant to him, how much he had always meant to him and how much he deeply regretted what he had done that day. He thought if he was unsuccessful in convincing Justin of that, it might be even worse than when they had broken up in the first place. Without a doubt, this would be the biggest advertising campaign of his whole fucking life – for his sake as well as his daughters.
Afraid that Justin would open his eyes and discover what he was doing, Brian looked over at his daughters who had also closed their eyes, their heads braced against each other as they sat with their shoulders touching. It was all Brian could do not to reach over and clasp Justin's hand like he always used to before he, too, succumbed to the mental exhaustion that had suddenly overwhelmed him and he closed his eyes as well.
One Hour Later – On Board Brian's Private Jet
"Ha! Gotcha!" Justin cried out in glee as his piece jumped over several kings and captured them; he raised his hands into the air triumphantly as his daughters glared at him from across the table. He was having a ball playing checkers with his daughters – even if he still didn't know which one was which. To his consternation, every time he suggested something or made a comment about a subject that only Kaylee would know, both girls began to whisper to each other before one of them would answer. It was irritating as hell, but after several tries at tripping them up he knew it was useless, at least for now, so he decided to just enjoy spending time with both his daughters while keeping a safe distance from Brian who continued to steal pointed glances his way at every opportunity. The intense looks he received made him extremely self-conscious but also made him realize that Brian wasn't the only one affected by their unexpected reunion.
In fact, their time apart from each other had apparently managed to make Brian even more attractive to him; he seemed particularly dangerous today in his form-fitting, slim-cut black jeans, the open-necked black cotton shirt, and his distressed, black leather jacket. Time had definitely been very kind to Brian, despite his ever-present worries that he would not age gracefully. Why he had felt that way had always been hard for Justin to fathom, though, because as he stole a glance over at his ex-lover he couldn't help thinking how gorgeous he still was. Of course, physical attraction had never been the problem with them, though; trust and honesty had.
He turned his attention back to his daughters as he heard one of them snort. "Are you sure you didn't cheat somehow?" she accused Justin pointedly, one eyebrow cocked in suspicion at him.
Justin huffed good-naturedly. "I'll have you know, young lady, that I used to beat the pants off your father when you two were younger, except it was chess instead," he told her. Why he and Brian had taken up that stuffy sort of game at Britin was beyond him, but the previous owners had left a crystal game set at the house when Brian had purchased it. At first he had thought it would be boring as hell, but once Brian had introduced his own special version of strip chess to him (the type of clothing taken off depended upon the importance of the pieces they managed to win from their opponent) it had taken on a whole new captivation for them.
"That's right," Brian chimed in from his place nearby. "I used to wind up without any pants all the time…"
The girls tittered as Justin's face turned a bright shade of red. "That's not what I meant," he grumbled as he averted his eyes away from what he knew would be a smug-looking expression on Brian's face. He stood up and stretched his legs. "Why don't YOU give it a go, Mr. Hot Shot?" he challenged Brian as he turned to look at him at last. "I need to use the bathroom."
"Need some help?" Brian asked innocently.
His attempt at levity failed to get the proper 'rise' out of his ex-partner, however (in more ways than one) as Justin stared at him as if he had lost his mind. "No, thanks, I think I can manage," he said icily as he turned and practically stomped his way toward the rear of the plane; a few seconds later, the slamming of the lavatory's panel door could be heard as Brian turned and sat down across from his daughters in the leather swivel chair that had been previously occupied by Justin.
"Dad," Katie said reproachfully, staring at Brian with those damn, piercing blue eyes that looked so much like her father's. "Do you have to goad him like that?"
Brian shrugged. "He used to have a sense of humor."
Kaylee glanced toward the back of the plane to make sure her father hadn't emerged yet before she replied, "He still does, Dad; but I don't think he's quite in the mood for you to be so witty."
Brian looked from one child to another as he sighed. He knew they were right, but he just couldn't help it; Justin was being so damn stubborn and it naturally brought out the snarkiness in him. They had barely been reunited and already he could tell that his ex-partner wasn't going to cut him any slack whatsoever. If he was going to convince Justin that he was sincere in wanting to get back together and that he wasn't interested in being with anyone else – permanent OR temporary – he was going to have to work for it; hard. He groaned silently, realizing that was a poor choice of words; ever since he had first laid eyes on his ex-lover back in Chicago, it was all he could do to keep his hands off him, and the one attempt he had made to touch him had been met with outright scorn and rejection. Let's see how well you resist back home, Sunshine, he couldn't help thinking, though, hopeful that a change in environment might at least level the playing field somewhat.
"Okay," he told his daughters who were staring at him from across the table with identical, old-maid-schoolteacher looks on their faces. "I'll try to behave. But just remember to be careful yourself; don't let HIM goad YOU; he's very clever, trust me, and it wouldn't take much for him to get one of you to slip up."
"We can handle it," Katie told her father confidently as Kaylee nodded. "This is too important, Dad."
Brian gazed at his daughters tenderly; he felt the same way. He knew somewhere locked deep inside Justin was the same man he had fallen in love with, the one that could give as good as he got, the one that had loved him unconditionally, but he knew for now he needed to back off with the sarcasm and banter if he was going to win him back. That didn't quell his determination, though, to not give up until he and Justin – and their daughters – were together again as a family.
"Yeah, it is," he agreed softly as he reached over to clasp each of their hands in his. "We're in this together, okay?"
The two girls nodded as he squeezed their hands, not realizing Justin had emerged from the lavatory and was watching the loving exchange thoughtfully. He swallowed the painful knot in his throat, flashes of other moments rising to the surface of a time long ago: Brian pushing the two girls on their swings as they shrieked in delight, Brian holding firmly onto both their hands as they struggled to take their first tentative steps, Brian turning his nose up in distaste as he forged ahead and changed their dirty diapers anyway, Brian softly singing to them as he rocked them, one in each arm, in their nursery glider at Britin. He exhaled a breath full of nostalgic melancholy; back then everything seemed so simple, so clear. How had everything changed so dramatically?
Brian glanced up and released his daughters' hands as he observed Justin returning; at least his ex-lover seemed to have calmed down somewhat from his slight queen out of before as he watched him take a seat on the opposite side of the plane.
"Ha!" Katie cried out smugly as she jumped three of her father's men. "You're in trouble," she sing-songed as Kaylee giggled. "You're not as good as Daddy is."
"So I've heard," Brian muttered as he peered over at Justin; at least he was rewarded this time with just the hint of a smile before Justin picked up his portfolio and unzipped it to retrieve his sketchbook.
Brian flashed Katie a warning look at the excited expression on her face; he could tell she was dying to ask if she could either watch her father at work or even better draw something alongside him. He shook his head slightly as she bit her lip in disappointment and nodded before Justin had the chance to notice.
The next thirty minutes were spent congenially enough as the girls allowed their father a rematch to try and regain his dignity as Justin quietly sketched with a charcoal pencil on his pad; Brian occasionally stole a look over at his ex-lover, their eyes locking together periodically as Justin's eyes darted from the page and then over to Brian and the girls as Brian admired the way Justin always focused on his task when he was concentrating on his art; his eyes darkened in appreciation as the tip of Justin's tongue came out subconsciously to wet his lips as his hand quickly flew over the paper. He quickly averted his eyes as he noticed Justin's eyes straying over to his again before he, too, cast his eyes quickly downward.
Their eye fucking went on for several minutes until Brian heard the all-too-familiar cry of pain escape raggedly from Justin's lips and he was out of his chair before he knew what he was even doing. As the girls watched in fascination, he walked over and sat down next to his ex-lover and took his hand in both of his and began to massage each aching bone in the palm, his heart leaping at the wonderful feel of Justin's long-fingered hand cradled in his. God, it feels so good, so comfortable…So right.
Justin was too surprised at first to utter a protest; he was too caught up in the swell of emotions that simple but hauntingly familiar action caused inside of him to speak. After a few seconds, though, he found that his mouth worked once more as he asked, "What in the hell do you think you're doing?" He tried to pull his hand away, but he found as usual that Brian's grip was too strong for him to resist.
"Your hand was bothering you," Brian explained simply as he stared into the defiant blue eyes and continued to knead Justin's hand expertly. Even though it had been a long time, it was easy to tell that his action was having a positive effect on Justin's hand by the way it wasn't throbbing in his hands as much as it did before.
Face flushed in indignation as well as emotional overload, Justin finally managed to snatch his hand away roughly as he stood up and loomed over Brian. "I can take care of myself!" he growled as he turned and walked over to the other side of the plane and dropped himself onto the seat, turning his body away from both Brian as well as the girls as he crossed his arms over his chest and fumed. He knew at the moment he was acting more childish than even Kaylee's most memorable queen outs when she didn't get her way at home, but he didn't care; Brian was taking a lot for granted. Did he really think he could just come waltzing back into his life after all this time like nothing had happened? What did he – and their daughters – expect from him?
The interior of the plane became eerily quiet and thick with tension as Brian walked back over to sit next to his daughters, who gave him a sympathetic look. He shook his head as if to tell them not to worry about it before he finally asked them quietly, "Want to play again?" Kaylee and Katie looked at each other for a few seconds in hesitation before Kaylee silently began to place their red chips back on the board as Brian did the same with the black ones.
Justin sat several feet away from them and let out an angry, frustrated breath, wondering why he had agreed to this in the first place. He should have known that he and Brian couldn't be in the same room together – there was too much history, too much raw emotion and pain still festering between them. If it hadn't been for his daughters' earnest wish to spend more time with each other – and his mother's decision to push them together – he never would have agreed to this arrangement. But he knew he was stuck now; better or worse, he had to deal with it. Are you a man or a petulant child? he chided himself as he leaned his elbows on his knees and brushed some hair back from his face as he wearily closed his eyes. Sighing in disgust over his inability to control his emotions, he opened his eyes several seconds later and lifted his gaze to observe one of his daughters standing next to him; he hadn't even heard her approach. He peered up at her sheepishly as she placed her hands on her hips and quietly asked him, "Are you done with your tantrum now, Daddy?"
Justin fully expected a snicker from Brian again, but to his surprise there was none forthcoming. One corner of his mouth curled up as he replied, "I think so." He glanced over at Brian and their other daughter still sitting at the small, round table as he asked, "Finished with the game?"
Katie grinned. "Yeah…Dad lost – again. He's not very good."
"Hey," Brian protested. "I LET you win the last game."
Justin rolled his eyes as he glanced up at his daughter, who merely shook her head no. He laughed softly as he patted the leather seat next to him and she sat down at his side. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, she placed her head against his chest as Justin hugged her tightly. He thought it would still be nice to know which daughter he was embracing, but at the moment he didn't care; it felt so comforting as well as fulfilling to hold her. It made him feel complete. Katie wrapped her arm around her father's waist and snuggled into his side, still cherishing getting to know him again at last. "Daddy?" she asked softly against his soft blue sweater.
"Yeah, Sweetheart?"
"You sure you won't come and stay with us at Britin?"
Justin placed his chin on top of the blond head as he locked gazes with Brian and his other daughter who were watching their interaction closely. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the sweet smell and feel of the child he was holding in his arms as he struggled to whisper regretfully, "I can't, Honey."
Katie pushed back just enough to look her father in the eyes. "Why, Daddy? It's a huge house. There's plenty of room."
Justin smiled gently at his daughter's simple explanation as visions of his and Brian's home swirled around in his head, along with all the wonderful memories that had been created between him, Brian and their daughters. "I know," he whispered softly as he lightly caressed her shoulder. "It always was much too big for just the four of us." He leaned down to nudge his forehead against his daughter's as he told her honestly, "It's just not a good idea, Sweetheart."
"Daddy…"
How he hated to look at those earnest, pleading blue eyes and refuse this child everything she wanted! And even without looking, he knew if he glanced over at his other daughter he would see the exact same sort of beseeching look in her eyes as well. It seems that both daughters had become extremely talented at persuasion; but not this time. "No, Honey," he told her gently but firmly. "I have some issues to discuss with your Grandma Jen, and it's for the best." He peered down into his daughter's disappointed face, marveling once more at how alike both daughters were; he had no idea if he was talking to Kaylee or Katie at the moment, so he was finding it damn hard to even reply appropriately. He finally settled on saying, "You and your sister are more than welcome to stay with your father, but I will be at your Grandma's condo for the time being once we get to Pittsburgh. Understood?"
Katie pursed her lips together tightly; that arrangement was certainly going to make things a lot harder, but just because her father said he wasn't going to stay at Britin didn't mean it would stay that way – not if she and her sister had anything to say about it. And she had a strong suspicion that it wasn't only her sister that would be an ally. There was their dad, of course, and their Grandma Jen, but a lot of others as well; Grandma Deb, Emmett, even their father's best friend and their biological mother. She instinctively knew there would be a lot of others rooting for her and Kaylee to succeed. Hopeful, then, that they could manage to change that situation, she nodded solemnly as if she agreed. "Yeah, I understand," she told him as her father nodded with a tender smile and released her.
"Good," Justin told her in relief. An announcement from the jet's pilot came over the PA just then, informing them that he was approaching their landing for Alleghany Airport. "We'd better get strapped in," he told her as she nodded and followed him over to the bench seat to sit beside him; he wrapped his arm around her comfortingly as he couldn't once more help looking over to steal a glance at Brian, who had taken his own place with their other daughter on the other bench seat opposite them.
They both stared into each other's eyes for several seconds until at last Justin broke the gaze to lean his head on Katie's and closed his eyes, a host of emotions threatening to overtake him now that he knew he was about to step onto soil he hadn't trod upon for years. Now that the time was at hand, what exactly was he feeling at the moment? Anxiety, nervousness? Obviously. Anger or at least irritation with his mother for putting him in this situation in the first place? Yes. Excited? Yes, he supposed so; he was looking forward to seeing Debbie, for instance, who he understood had been wonderful to Katie as a second grandmother, and Emmett, whose company he had always enjoyed.
And he was curious about how Pittsburgh and the Liberty Avenue area had changed in the years since he had been there. In addition, he certainly couldn't deny how wonderful it was to finally have both his daughters with him again, although the future was definitely cloudy and unknown at the moment. One of the reasons for that was the court's determination as to how they would handle the future custody agreement, but the major reason for it was sitting a few feet away from him at the moment: Brian. He stole a look across from him to observe Brian's arm curled around their other daughter as he held her tight; thankfully his sexy partner's gaze was directed at her at the moment, because his mind began to recall how it had felt for Brian to hold HIM all those years ago. It was obviously a different sort of 'embrace,' but until that horrible, fateful day he had always felt so secure, loved and protected with Brian's arms around him, no matter what the situation. Even now the feelings stirred within him, the longing arose, to feel those arms around him again.
It was all he could do earlier to rebuff his ex-partner's attempt to hold him and to kiss him; fuck, if that had happened he couldn't have guaranteed that they wouldn't have wound up in bed shortly afterward as a result. He knew it wouldn't take much at all for him to succumb once more to his feelings for him, but he knew if he did it would quite possibly open him up for more heartbreak. He would be lying to himself if he pretended that he didn't wish deep down that they could reconcile again, but until he could be sure, absolutely sure, he would have to tread very carefully around him. The first line of defense he had already undertaken, though. He would make sure not to stay at Britin with him; the pull of the memories they had created there was much too strong. He sighed softly in both frustration as well as trepidation as he finally closed his eyes and felt the plane starting to descend, not opening his eyes until the plane's wheels had touched the ground.
Same Time...
For what felt like the hundredth time by now, Brian lifted his gaze to peer over at the amazingly beautiful image of his ex-lover sitting a few feet across from him, his heart fluttering softly at the pale face. Justin had his eyes closed, one arm around his daughter as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. He noticed with just a small amount of concern that even at rest his face still seemed somewhat troubled and worried; there was just the slightest crease of worry on his brow as he held his daughter close to him. Was he thinking about him at that moment? Was he worried, too, about what would happen once they arrived in Pittsburgh and he had to confront his past again? Was he anxious about what the judge would say about their request to change the custody agreement?
He assumed all those reasons were the cause for the agitated expression on Justin's face. He inhaled a ragged, guilt-laden breath and let it out to try and release the stress, realizing that a lot of his ex-partner's thoughts were no doubt concentrated on that one, fateful day; a day that he would forever wish he could take back and do all over again.
There must have been a soft sigh escape his lips, because he heard Kaylee whisper by his side, "It'll be okay, Dad."
Brian pulled back slightly to look down into his daughter's eyes to whisper back, "You think so, Princess?"
She nodded her head and smiled up at him confidently as Brian marveled at his daughter's optimism. "You wait," she promised him as she closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest. Brian's heart swelled with emotion as he hugged her closer to him as he, too, took a moment to rest and joined her.
The gentle bump of the plane's wheels touching down on the runway roused all four passengers from their respite as they sat up straighter in their seats. Brian quietly turned his cell phone back on to check for any urgent e-mails from Kinnetik, relieved to find none that he would consider worthy of immediate attention as the plane reached the gate a few minutes later.
He and Justin exchanged one more glance from across the plane's interior as everyone unlatched their seatbelts and rose to their feet. "Ready to go?" he asked the girls who nodded as they picked up their luggage and began to walk toward the door to exit. Brian stayed behind slightly to wait until Justin had retrieved his art portfolio and luggage before he held his hand out in silent invitation for Justin to lead and followed his ex-partner off the plane with his own carry-on bag, knowing better than to ask him if he needed any assistance.
A few minutes later they were on their way toward the short-term parking lot; Brian couldn't help smiling a little as he noticed Justin frowning as they reached the sea of cars, no doubt looking for a flashy, impractical sports car instead of the SUV he had procured a few years ago. He pointed toward a green Land Rover located a few spaces down on the right. "The green SUV," he told him quietly as Justin spied the vehicle in question and nodded.
As expected, Brian heard his ex-partner say, "I'm surprised you didn't go back to another sports car, since there's only the two of you."
Katie deliberately held back from approaching her father's vehicle, not wanting to give away that she recognized it as she watched her father shrug before he replied, "Things change, Justin. People change."
Justin peered at him quietly, the full meaning not lost on what Brian was trying to tell him but choosing not to rise to the bait as he walked up and waited for Brian to unlock it with the remote; once he heard the familiar chirp of the keyless entry he opened the back of the vehicle and hoisted his luggage and portfolio inside, taking both girls' luggage from them to do the same. He waited until Brian had placed his own piece inside and had closed the door before he stood next to the side of the Land Rover somewhat awkwardly, not sure where to sit.
Brian looked at him in aggravation. "The girls need to sit in the back because they're under 12," he told him. "So you need to sit up front."
Justin looked at him in surprise, amazed that Brian would even think about that issue but still impressed; of course, he also knew that Brian realized he wouldn't object to sitting next to him under those circumstances, either; quite convenient either way. He nodded in acceptance as the two girls opened the back passenger door and slid in beside each other; a few seconds later, Justin opened the front passenger door and sat down next to Brian, unable to keep from inhaling his ex-partner's familiar scent; he had always loved the expensive cologne that Brian had worn and he found it was the same as before. It also invoked the same stirrings within him as it always did, he found to his consternation, as he felt his pulse quicken in reaction. Damn it, he scolded himself. Get a grip.
"Seatbelts," Brian commanded softly of the two girls in the back as the click of seatbelts latching could be heard. "You, too, Sunshine," Brian told his ex-lover softly, the endearment falling once more from his lips. To his relief, however, Justin didn't call him out on it this time but did as he asked.
A few minutes later they were finally on the way out of the airport and headed toward Pittsburgh proper. Brian longed to try and convince Justin to come home with him and the girls, but while he wasn't giving up on that idea he also knew that now would not be an appropriate time to try and convince Justin of that. Instead, he opted to turn to look at his ex-partner and say, "I'm assuming you want me to drop you off at your mom's first?"
Justin glanced in the backseat at the two pairs of hopeful eyes intently observing him as he turned his gaze to Brian and to their utter disappointment nodded. "Yeah," he told him. "I have a lot to talk about with her."
Brian couldn't help chuckling slightly at the implications. "God help her," he said under his breath as he bestowed a twisted grin on his passenger. Justin shot him a questioning look as he explained, "I've been on the receiving end of your righteous wrath a few times, remember?" Brian threw a glance back at his daughters as he added, "Your grandma doesn't stand a chance, girls."
Both daughters giggled as Justin huffed out an exasperated breath. "Well, surely you admit she was out of line with what she did."
Brian shrugged as he placed his eyes back on the road ahead. "Yeah," he conceded. "She was. But I'm not sorry if it brought the girls back together and gave me a chance to get to know Kaylee again; are you?" he asked inquisitively as he glanced over at Justin.
Justin stared over at him briefly before he confessed softly, "No, of course not." He, too, looked behind him at the pair of identical bookends peering back at him. He couldn't help the tender smile that appeared on his face as he shook his head firmly this time. "No, I'm not sorry about that part, either." Both girls smiled back lovingly at him as he turned his head around to face Brian. "But she went about it all wrong, and I'm going to make that very clear to her. It should have been our decision to make – not hers."
"Sometimes you can be too close to a situation to really know the best approach to take," Brian offered diplomatically, not really wanting to get into an in-depth discussion over this somewhat touchy topic in the presence of their two daughters. "And you have to admit – we weren't really on speaking terms at the time, either." He stared over at Justin intensely for a few seconds before he softly added, "I'm not sorry about that being changed, either."
Despite Justin's reservations, he couldn't help the flush that spread across his face at Brian's seemingly heartfelt words. Just when he thought his conviction was firm in that he would not allow Brian to sway his determination and not be swept under again by his charm and his magnetic pull, the man would say or do something to make him hesitate, just like he was doing now. For what felt like the thousandth time since they had laid eyes once more on each other, Justin's mind was once more warring with his heart. The only question was – which one would ultimately win?
He sighed in indecision as he turned his face toward the side window, unable to meet Brian's gaze any longer; as distasteful as it seemed, at that moment he decided he preferred talking to his mother over the angst and tension that permeated the space between him and Brian. He bit his lip and closed his eyes briefly, trying to will his breathing to slow down to a more normal cadence as the car approached the eastern suburb of the Pitts where his mother lived. Just a few more minutes, he told himself silently as he curled his fingers under, his nails biting into the tender flesh of his palms. Just a few more minutes…
Finally, after approximately five minutes of weighted silence, Brian spoke up again, this time addressing his words to their daughters but mainly Kaylee who had never seen Jennifer's condo. "Here we are," he said with a soft smile as he twisted his head back to look at Kaylee and began to slow the vehicle down. "Your Grandma Jen's condo."
Kaylee craned her neck around her sister curiously to study the brown brick, two-story structure; the condo was located on a shady, tree-lined residential street with vehicles parked on both sides of the road. Row upon row of similar brick buildings were nestled among the trees sprinkled between the sidewalks and street; well-manicured lawns and neatly-kept flower beds added to the peaceful, well-established neighborhood. She couldn't help thinking how beautiful it was, loving the wide variety of flower colors in bloom and the shady street that reminded her of her own home's neighborhood.
Brian stopped the car and turned off the motor before he turned around and deadpanned, "Yep; this is the home of Jennifer Taylor, Grandmother Extraordinaire."
Justin snorted softly as he finally turned to look over at Brian. "That's not quite the title I would bestow upon her at the moment; more like Grandma Jen the Interloper."
Brian smirked. "Well, at least that's a little classier-sounding than busybody or meddler."
"Means the same thing," Justin said flatly, deciding as he glanced back at his daughters that he didn't want to malign his mother too much; he still loved her despite her interference, and he knew both daughters idolized her. And he had to admit – she was the best grandmother to his daughters that he could have ever hoped for. He was sure that Debbie was a lot of fun to be around and quite unique in her approach to his daughters, but his mother was the one who provided some much-needed stability for both of them, especially in light of them not being raised with a traditional mother – or both fathers, for that matter. For that reason alone he had to acknowledge her influence and care with gratitude. He would take care of acknowledging that after he finished discussing what she had done secretly behind his back, however.
He noticed Brian starting to open the SUV's door and shook his head. "It's okay," he insisted, not wanting to risk his already wavering reserve being affected any more. "I can handle my bags. You and the girls go on ahead to Britin and get settled in. I need to talk to my mother alone."
"You sure, Daddy?" Kaylee asked her father. She looked over at Katie before she added, "We'd kind of like to say hi to Grandma, too."
Justin huffed out a slight sound of suspicion. "Nice try, Sweetheart – whichever one you are," he added dryly. He shook his head. "You two could have at least have had different birthmarks," he told them as they smiled back at him in satisfaction. "No," he told them softly but firmly. "You can see your grandmother some other day; I need to speak to her in private first."
"He's right," Brian told them to Justin's surprise as he glanced over at Justin, even now after all this time able to read his ex-partner's face easily. As much as he might like to get Jennifer's help in persuading Justin to talk things over some more, he also knew it was risky to push the issue. Besides, with both daughters staying with him, he knew Justin couldn't go anywhere for the time being. "You'll have plenty of time to catch up with her later." A thought occurred to him as he asked Justin, "Why don't you invite Jennifer to come out to Britin for dinner tomorrow? That way the girls can get comfortable at the house and she can spend some time with both of them. You'll need a way to get out there anyway, so she could take you," he pointed out. Please don't fight me on this, Justin, he urged him silently…
Justin opened the door, prepared to get out as he contemplated Brian's suggestion. Part of him wanted to run as far away as possible from Brian and his previous life they shared, but he also knew that with their two daughters involved that wasn't possible. He had them to think about now and what was best for them, and he had promised them that they would no longer be kept apart all the time. He thought briefly of just having Brian pick his mother and him up after he left Kinnetik tomorrow, but if he went with her and Brian he wouldn't have any way to come back afterward, and something told him that it would not be prudent to find himself at Britin with no way to leave. Just the thought of spending the night under the same roof as his gorgeous, sexy ex-lover made him nervous as hell.
Brian had almost given up hope that Justin would accept his suggestion as he watched him silently unbuckle his seatbelt and slide out of the seat; his heart fluttered hopefully, though, as he watched Justin place his left hand on the roof and lean his head back inside the interior of the car a few seconds later to nod. "Okay, I'll ask her. What time?"
Brian licked his suddenly-dry lips, feeling like a young kid asking someone out on their first date. "Six o'clock? I'll probably bring both girls with me tomorrow when I come to work and they can get corrupted by Deb part of the time until I'm done, but I should be able to get back home by then."
Justin smirked as he glanced in the backseat at his two daughters who were eyeing him excitedly; he wasn't sure if it was due to them getting the chance to spend the day with Debbie or his agreeing to come out to Britin for dinner tomorrow. "That's the right word for it," he commented as he returned his gaze to Brian. "Okay, that sounds fine; we'll see you then." He rose up and closed the door as he walked to the back of the vehicle to open the rear door; by the time he had retrieved his luggage and portfolio, both girls had managed to get out of the vehicle and walk back to join him.
Justin frowned. "Why did you get out of the SUV?"
Katie and Kaylee eyed him almost shyly as Katie admitted, "We wanted to say goodbye to you."
Justin's heart melted at the soft but fervently-spoken words. He smiled at his daughter tenderly as he told her, "I'm glad." He dropped his luggage and portfolio down on the ground and reached over to sweep Katie up into a bear hug, grunting as he squeezed her firmly before loosening his hold to stare down into her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, don't worry."
She nodded as he repeated the same gesture with Kaylee, even though he still didn't know which one was which. As he held onto his daughter's slender frame with his arms around her waist, he watched as she burrowed her head into his chest and sighed; it was a mournful, sorrowful sound and it pierced straight through to his soul. His eyes filled with unexpected tears as he heard his daughter whisper, "I love you, Daddy."
The earnest-looking face stared up into Justin's tear-filled one as he whispered, "I love you too, Honey." He leaned down to kiss his daughter's cheek before he reluctantly let her go, only to have his other daughter melt into his arms just like Kaylee did. "I love you, too, Daddy…So much," Katie whispered, her voice catching with emotion. She had only been with Justin for a relatively short time now, but it hadn't taken long at all for her to fall madly in love with him. She only wished that he would wind up doing the same all over again with her Dad.
Only time would tell, but she knew both her and Kaylee were going to do everything in their power to see that it happened. Already she was concocting possible ideas in her head, one in particular that required their father to be at Britin, so she was enormously grateful that her Dad had persuaded him and Grandma Jen to come out to house for dinner. She smiled up at him as he told her that he loved her, too, before she let go of him, her heart full of hope that promising things were on the horizon. All it took was for both fathers to admit they still loved each other and to learn to forgive each other. She knew it might be a tall order, but there was no doubt of their feelings – it was written all over their faces. Now all she and Kaylee had to do was get these two stubborn men to admit it to each other instead of only to them.
"Your grandma and I will see you tomorrow," Justin promised as the two girls nodded and returned to their seats in the car. As Justin hefted his portfolio onto his shoulder and grabbed his luggage, he took a moment to gaze at Brian as he passed the driver's side. He nodded at Brian slightly in acknowledgment and turned to go as he heard Brian say behind him, "Tell Jen I said hello, Justin."
And that I owe her a big thank you, Brian couldn't help thinking as Justin nodded and walked up the sidewalk toward the front door. He waited a few seconds to admire Justin's slim, beautiful form like he always did before he started up the car and slowly drove away, silently hoping that Jennifer's intervention would ultimately provide what he desired the most – another chance with the man he still loved just as he much as he always did and always would.
Thanks to Boriqua522 for looking this over for me.:)