I arrive at home from coffee with Brittany to Ellie yelling at me, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY, SANTANA?! I NEED YOU."

"I'm sorry, El. I went out for coffee with someone after the swim practice. But chill out, it's only 3:30, we have hours."

She ignored me. "We need to start getting ready!"

"Where's mom?"

"Where do you think?"

My heart sunk just a little.

"Did she say she'll be back in time for pictures, Ellie?"

"I hope."

Ellie and I got ready and patiently waited for Puck and Bryan to arrive. Bryan was one of Ellie's best friends. I knew that they both liked each other; it would just be a matter of time that they start dating. Ellie styled my hair by putting in perfect, beautiful waves down my hair. It was simple but it was different from the swimmer's bun or flat ironed hair that had been very typical lately. I fixed my makeup and put on my dress. It was a short strapless dress that was a light purple color that contrasted perfectly with my tan skin. It was accented with black tones and I loved it. I thought I was looking pretty hot, not to flatter myself too much.

My mom came home and apologized profusely for not being here to help us get ready. Even though she promised, I told her it wasn't a big deal. It's not like she needed to be here, I just wanted her home in time to see me off to my last homecoming dance. Bryan arrived first and Ellie took a few pictures with him. Then Puck came and we took pictures together. Then my mom wanted to get the four of us to take pictures before we went off to take even more pictures with our respective friends.

As we were driving to Brooke's house for pictures, Puck said, "You look beautiful, Santana."

"Well, I could say the same about you, Mr. Handsome Homecoming King," I said, squeezing his knee. Puck tensed a little. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." His tone was colder than it was two seconds ago. He softened. "I'm sorry. I mean, everything is fine."

I rolled my eyes and pushed it to the back of my mind. It was beyond my control now, I didn't care. If Puck was going to be an asshole then so be it, I'd find a way to still have a good time. We arrived at Brooke's house to see what felt like half of our grade, including Quinn. Honestly, she looked stunning. It was so weird seeing her wearing something other than a swimsuit or her stupid Cheerios uniform. Her blonde hair was perfectly curled to right beneath her shoulders. Her dress was a short, tight, sequined turquoise dress and she was wearing tall black heels.

Quinn saw us walk in and walked over. She said, "Hey, Mr. King! You're looking dashing tonight!"

"Yeah, he does," I cut in.

Quinn raised her eyebrows and put both of her hands on Puck's shoulder, stood up on her tip-toes, and whispered something in his ear. He remained expressionless as Quinn smirked and walked away.

"What'd she say Puck?"

"Nothing. Just, don't let her bother you," Puck said, wrapping his arm around me.

After 30 minutes of pictures, we were finally headed to the dance. Puck loves to dance, with Glee club and everything else so we danced for a long time. About an hour into the dance, Homecoming court was announced and Puck had to dance with Quinn. After watching them dance for awhile, a friend walked over to me.

"Hey, Santana, you look beautiful!"

"Thanks, Jenna. So do you! Except…" I repositioned a piece of her hair into place. "There."

"Thanks. Did you come here with Puck?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

She became startled, "Oh, um, no reason. Nothing. Just… forget I said anything."

"Jenna, seriously, what…?"

"Okay… did you go to the party last night after the game? I didn't see you there."

"No, I had a college swim practice at LU this morning, I went home to rest. What happened?"

By this point, I was putting it all together, the tension and Quinn. It was all making sense and I was getting pissed.

"Well, I don't know if it's true but I heard that he hooked up with Quinn last night."

I felt like I was going to throw up. I had a feeling but I didn't want to believe it. I guess it was similar to how I felt about girls. They were both things I didn't want to acknowledge. I wanted to act like everything was okay; to act like nothing is happening when in reality, everything is.

She gave me a one-armed hug. "Hey, hey. I don't know if it's true, Puck's a great guy, I don't really even believe it myself."

At the same time she said that, we both turned to look at them dancing and we both knew it was true. The song that they started dancing to was over and a different song was playing. They weren't slow dancing anymore, she was grinding on him. Both of his arms were wrapped around her waist and placed on her stomach. His head was low, near her neck. One of her hands was placed on his face and the other hand on top of one of Puck's hands on her stomach. Puck saw me looking at him, stopped "dancing," and ran over to me.

"That's not what you think, Santana."

"Oh, really? It isn't. I'm pretty sure my eyes don't lie Puck. You're an asshole."

From behind me, I heard Quinn say, "Get off his jock, Santana, seriously. Just let him have a little fun." She turned towards Puck. "Didn't you have a lot of fun last night at the party…without your psycho girlfriend?"

Puck opened his mouth but no words come out.

"Seriously, Quinn, stay the fuck out of this!" I was on the verge of screaming.

"Whoa! Miss. Perfect, you better watch your mouth."

"Fuck off Quinn!"

Quinn raised her eyebrows, and touched Puck's cheek, "Puck, you know where to find me if you want to have some real fun." She narrowed her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

She walked away as more of a crowd started to subtly form around us. There were unwanted tears forming in my eyes that I flicked off with the back of my hand.

"Puck. Did you sleep with her last night?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"What?! No, I would never do that to you!"

That was the last straw. I went at him with everything I had. "Really because that's what it seemed like to me. It all makes sense now, you were all tense during pictures, Quinn was whispering in your ear, probably about how great of a night she had last night? Tell me, did you screw her before or after you texted me and told me you loved me?" His eyes just jumped from me to the space around us. I couldn't deal with him. He wasn't even man enough to admit it. "We're done, Puck."

I turned around and walked away. I sat down on a bench outside the entrance. I had such weird feelings. I was sad and mad. How could Puck do something like that to me? After all this time, he had the audacity to cheat on me; with Quinn Fabray of all people.

Not even a minute later, Colby and Brooke came running out. They came over, hugged me, sat down, and held my hand.

I tried to control my anger and lowered my voice to a normal volume. "You guys were at the party. You knew, didn't you? And you didn't tell me. Why?"

"There wasn't a time to tell you," Brooke explained. "You were with Puck every time that I saw you. Please, don't be mad. We were going to tell you as soon as we could."

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. There's no use in getting mad, especially at you two."

They both looked down, Colby said, "I'm so sorry. If you want to go home right now, Ian and I can take you home, we're about to leave. Or you can come to my house, or I can come to yours, or Brooke's, or you can be left alone. It's whatever you want."

I heard footsteps heading over, it's weird how I could even recognize his footsteps, "Girls, can you give us some privacy."

"San?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," I said flatly.

"We'll be right over here," Brooke said with a hug.

"Santana, look. I love you so much, more than anything in the world. I was drunk last night, I made a mistake. She was drunk too. I was mad that you didn't come to the party. I knew you had that practice, but I didn't understand. I love you. Please give me another chance. I made a mistake. I promise I will make it up to you."

I wasn't sad anymore. Now I was just angry. "No, Puck. Making a mistake is forgetting my birthday. Making a mistake is getting sine and cosine mixed up. Making a mistake is forgetting a football play. Making a mistake is not sleeping with Quinn Fabray! That's not a mistake. Out of all the people to cheat on me with, you chose her."

"Would it be different if it was someone else?"

"No. That's not the point. I just feel like the two years we spent together, you would have a little more respect for me. You will probably never understand how much that this hurts."

He look stunned, I got up and walked over to Colby and Brooke, "Can someone take me home?"

"Of course, let me get Ian."

I waited with Colby and Puck left and walked towards the parking lot. He came back a few minutes later with my phone and said, "I'm never going to stop trying."

I looked into his eyes, straight into them and was so close to giving him a second chance. Then I felt Colby squeeze her arm that was around me and I looked away. Puck turned around and walked away with his head down low and hands deep in his pockets.

I spent my whole Sunday eating ice cream with Ellie. We started The Notebook until we realized that the main character's name is Noah. So we had to change movies. Ellie tried her best to cheer me up. She is such a good sister, it just wasn't working. My phone was blowing up with "Are you okay?" and "What happened?" texts. I didn't reply to any of them. They'll all know soon anyway. Puck tried to call me several times, left a few apologetic voicemails and texts. I ignored them all.

Deep down, all I really wanted to do was talk to Brittany. I wanted her to tell me everything is going to be okay. She was literally the only person who would be able to cheer me up.

Eventually, Monday rolled around like it always does. I forced myself to get dressed into something other than athletic wear. I couldn't show Puck that he got to me so badly. I threw something together that looked halfway decent and put on some makeup.

I made my way through the questions from everyone and tried to focus on my school work. I got to my English class, the class where Puck, Quinn, and I all had. Ironically, we all sat in the same row. The bell rang and Finn Hudson, one of Puck's buffoon-like teammates announced the obvious, "Whoa, guys, look at how awkward that is. Those three are all in the same row!" The classroom erupted into whispers.

Luckily, by this time in her student teaching, Brittany was starting to become very independent in the teaching setting. "Okay, class I'm going to pass out the Brave New World quiz over the chapters that were assigned last and then we'll discuss them."

I was easily the first person done with the quiz. I got up and handed it to Brittany who was in the front of the classroom at the podium. She gave me a silent, quizzical look. I shrugged my shoulders slightly and gave a crooked smile before sitting back down, maybe she did care. I wanted to talk to her so bad, and when discussion started, I couldn't even focus. I was hanging on every word she said but not for content, just because it was her. I was interrupted from my awkward day dream by a tap on the shoulder. I turned around.

Puck whispered, "Hi, I know you don't want to talk to me but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn't answer my calls or texts…"

I didn't respond and turned back around so he didn't see the genuine dejection on my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brittany briefly looking at me before continuing her sentence. It made me want to talk to her even more.

I went to practice later after school literally dragging my feet. It's only really bad times when the smell of chlorine doesn't cheer me up.

This practice, I swam so hard. I was going seconds before the interval that I was supposed to be at, it was even a decreased interval. I put all my anger and sadness and confusion into the water. My coach helped and pushed me hard, like always, but I didn't spend any time joking around or trying to piss off Quinn. She was the last person I wanted to see, which made me want to get off the wall even more. I just swam.

When I got home after practice, I found an old box. I went into my closet, grabbed anything that reminded me of Puck; a hoodie that he gave me when we were out and it got cold that I never got back to him, every shirt that had his name on the back to support him in sports, all of his football buttons, and threw them all into the box. I found everything else that he ever gave me and threw it in there with it. I closed the box and closed the Puck chapter in my life.

I sat on my bed and opened my calculus book. I felt purged. I was fine. I was going to get over him if it was the last thing I did.

The next Monday, I was running out of the locker room after I went to morning practice on a whim. I had a meeting that I had to be at school early for I was running a little bit late. I felt like I was finally back to myself. I passed the copy room on my way to the meeting. Brittany was in there, leaning against the machine with a coffee in hand waiting for the copies to print.

She smiled at me and said, "Hi Santana," through the door. My day was made, just by two simple words from one person.

I walked into the doorway, "Hello, Miss. Pierce."

"Is everything okay? Do you, uh, need to talk?"

I thought for a few seconds. "….No. Yes. Yes. I do. But I can't right now, I have to make it to a meeting, I'm a little late and I'm the president of it."

"You're quite the gem of McKinley, huh? Here-" She started scribbling something on a scrap piece of paper, "I have to work after school but shoot me a text. And-"

"Keep it on the DL? I got you," I said with a smile.

I floated my way through the rest of the day, happily pleased from the morning. Even Colby and Brooke noticed.

"You seem really happy, don't you think Brooke?"

"Yeah, did you get laid?"

I shot her a look with a little grin; I knew she was trying to help.

"…Just kidding. But seriously, why are you so happy?"

I didn't know how to explain it other than, "I just… I think Santana is back. I'm over him."

"Finally!" Brooke said with a smirk.

By the time I got done with practice that night and showered, it was around 7. I reached into my backpack and looked at the piece of paper in my hand. Is 7 too soon? Is she still working? I don't want to seem like an annoyance. I was psyching myself out; she gave me her number for a reason. She wanted to talk to me. Why was I getting so anxious?

I got out my phone and typed out a message Hey, Brittany. It's Santana. I just got done with practice, you still up for a talk? I contemplated for at least 10 minutes if the message sounded alright. Then I realized that I would never get anywhere if I didn't just send it, so I did it. It was done, I couldn't take it back. I figured that I would be wasting my time if I sat around waiting for my phone to go off so I took out a binder and did some vocabulary while watching whatever was on TV.

I heard my phone vibrate after about 30 minutes. Hey Santana! What did you get on #35 in calc? It definitely wasn't Brittany, it was some guy from my class. I texted back my answer and went back to vocab. My phone vibrated again, probably him again, I was right. Thanks Santana! I felt my phone vibrate once again. Finally! It was her. Hey! Yeah, I just got off. If it's not too late and you want to come over, I'm down. Only if you want though… I laughed, she was adorable. I texted back, Well, I am down J Be there in 10.

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I had changed into some running shorts and a Nike v-neck after the shower and my hair was in a messy bun. I wasn't sure if I should change or not. I put on just a bit of makeup and sprayed myself with a dash of perfume. I went into Ellie's room. Blair and another friend, Taylor, were in there.

"Hey, do I look okay?" I asked the girls.

"Horrible," Ellie said.

"Yeah, you always look pretty Santana," Taylor said, she was definitely my favorite.

"You look good. I like that shirt," Blair said.

Ellie asked, "Why does it even matter?"

"Oh, no reason. I might be home late tonight. Here—" I fished out some money from my purse, "Mom and dad probably are coming home late, you guys can order something in or get something, you can drive now, can't you Blair?"

"Yeah, thanks Santana!"

I grabbed my keys and got into my car. I made my way to Brittany's apartment. I drove around the premise and concluded I should probably park in the back, just in case. It was weird; I never cared this much about such little details. But when Brittany was involved, I couldn't help it. I kept my sunglasses on and made my way to her door. I'd only been there once, but I remembered exactly where her door was. I took a deep breath and knocked. The door opened after about 15 seconds—Not that I was counting. She opened it and I saw that smile and those ocean blue eyes.

"Hi," I said.

"You've just got the best way with words, don't you? So verbose. Come on in," She said, inviting me in.

Her apartment still had the great subtle fragrance of vanilla that I remembered from the last time. She was wearing yoga pants and a tank top. I couldn't help but stare at her legs when she walked towards the couch. She sat down and patted the spot next to her. I sat down too. The cat, Lord Tubbington jumped on my lap. I groaned at the sheer weight of him.

"Sorry. He likes you. I don't blame him," she said gently pushing LT to my side.

She asked me what happened and how I was holding up and although she was the umpteenth person to ask me that, it didn't bother me to tell her. I let it all out, leaving out nothing. She listened. I knew she was really listening because she asked me questions and interjected with her own advice. I went so much more in depth with her than basically anyone else. There was something about her, the way that she could be so silly but then be so serious and so easy to talk to. I told her things that about my relationship that even my closest friends didn't even know. Much to my dismay, I started to tear up. She grabbed my hand and held it in her lap.

"Hey, you know what Santana? You're extraordinary. I know what it's like to be hurt so bad by someone you trusted with everything. You'll get through this though and you already have for the most part. I know you have really great friends; I just want you to know that I'll be here for you. We may have met in some… different circumstances. This isn't usually like me, to be so drawn to someone that I probably shouldn't be. But there's just something about you, I can't explain it. You have so much going for you. You're pretty, smart, funny, and kind. Quinn and Puck, they're both fools."

She held my gaze for a few moments. Then she released my hand from her lap and replaced it on my cheek, leaned in, and kissed me. A rush of feelings flooded through my body. I had never felt this while kissing anyone else. I couldn't explain this feeling. Her soft lips and her gentle hands on my face, it felt so right, so different from everything else I knew. I placed my hands on her waist and pulled her in just a little bit closer. She didn't shove her tongue down my throat like most of the guys try to do. She didn't even put her tongue in my mouth but it had more feeling in it than any other kiss I've ever had.

The kiss ended sooner than I wanted but it was perfect and unbelievable. I was on Cloud 9. I couldn't believe this actually happened. We both opened our eyes. I looked into those deep blue eyes and I just melted. They were so gorgeous, she was so gorgeous.

"I—I'm sorry," She said pulling away.

I grabbed her hand, "For what?"

She shrugged. "That was completely unprofessional and I—"

"That wasn't what I thought it would be like," I say, cutting off her worries. "Kissing a girl…"

"Oh, yeah? What did you think it'd be like?"She asks me with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Well, Katy Perry told me that it would taste like cherry Chapstick."

"And what was it like instead?"

"Better than cherry Chapstick," I told her. "It was soft and sweet, I liked it. It's not like I haven't thought about kissing a girl before."

"You have?"

I shrug. "Yeah, probably even more than I've thought about kissing boys. I thought it was normal."

She grinned. "Depends on who you ask…"

"Well, what do you say?"

"I say that if you're comfortable with your sexuality and who you are, you can think about kissing whoever you want. Even Lord Tubbington for that matter."

"And what if you're not that comfortable?"

"That's just something that you'll have to come to terms with. Everyone grows and changes, it's just a process."

I nodded as my thoughts race in my head.

"Have you eaten yet? Are you hungry?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I'm famished," I told her.

"How does pizza sound?"

"Amazing."

"Cheese? Pepperoni? Sausage? Veggie? What do you like?" She asked me.

"Anything really, veggie sounds amazing."

"I was thinking the same thing!"

Brittany pulled out her phone and ordered a medium pizza to be delivered. I walked over to my purse by my keys to give her some money but she wouldn't take it.

"You're so sweet, it's my treat."

The food came not long after. While we were eating our food, we talked. Not about the kiss though, it seemed like it was somewhat off-limits to talk about for now. After about another hour of hanging out, my phone vibrated. It was Ellie; she told me that mom wanted me home. I reluctantly got up to leave and she walked me to the door. I wasn't sure whether I should hug her or kiss her or shake or hand or even do nothing. Almost as if she was reading my mind, she opened her arms and gave me a tight hug. I didn't know why, I couldn't explain it but I was falling for my student teacher. I was falling for Brittany Pierce and I was falling hard.

The rest of the week of school was rough. Brittany wasn't acting like her usual self around me. During English class, she would usually laugh when I made sarcastic or witty comments towards people; I don't even think she was really listening. If I asked for her help in class, she would help me as fast and as formal as she could. My heart was hurting.

On top of the Brittany silent-treatment, Puck put on a big scene at lunch one of those days, trying to get me back. The New Directions all sauntered over to me at my lunch table and started singing "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys. He knew I was a sucker for that song. Puck came out from behind them and started singing the chorus to me, giving me a rose. Roses aren't even my favorite flowers and I thought he knew that. I tried to avoid eye contact while the whole cafeteria watched. When the song finally ended, he asked me to give him a second chance. He told me that he'd never make that mistake again. I was so embarrassed. I got up, shook my head, and walked away.

Puck found me by my locker a few moments later."You didn't like the song?"

"No, Puck. I loved the song." I looked him straight in the eye. "What I didn't like was you singing it. If I had the energy, I would sing you a song and do you know what it would be?"

"…No."

"It would be 'We Are Never Getting Back Together.' Please, we both need to move on, it's what's best." I knew it was a low blow and extremely cold but I was not in the mood for any of it. He needed to stop wasting his own energy and time, as well.

The Friday of that week, I went on a recruiting trip to the University of Virginia. NCAA rules allow you to have 5 official visits to D1 schools. I was invited to visit from about a dozen different schools across the country after I emailed them and gave them my recruiting info this summer. Last summer, my parents and I narrowed down the 5 that I wanted to take official visits to. I didn't necessarily have to take all 5 though; I knew it'd be hard to catch up with schoolwork constantly being gone. I had basically narrowed it down to University of Virginia, University of Georgia, and Brooklyn-Hale University.

UGA has been such a college swimming powerhouse and constantly produced high caliber Olympic athletes. Then again BHU was closer to home and it's such a prestigious school. Even before I knew I could do college swimming, BHU was one of my dream schools. They're swimming program continually places in the top 5 nationally. Then again, UVA also produced some nice Olympic swimmers and it was a very good school as well. After the official visits, I could still take unofficial visits or just a regular college visit if I was still undecided. I was on a time crunch though, early Letters of Intent would be signed in November and the athletic director advises athletes to sign earlier rather than later.

Neither of my parents could come on this one which was fine. They just drove me to the airport then I flew into Virginia where one of the coaches picked me and a few other recruits up. This wasn't my first recruiting trip so I already knew what to expect. You really just immerse yourself with the team and the campus atmosphere to see if it would be a good fit for you. We sit in on a few classes, watch their practice, go to a football game, and almost always party. It's great and a lot of fun. Then you talk to the coach about everything and hopefully talk scholarships.

It helped take my mind off of all of the weird feelings I was experiencing with my sexuality and the breakup. I just was so unsure about it all. I liked being away from it all, even if it was just for a little while. The girls on the team were so nice and the other recruits were cool too. I wasn't completely sure though, the coach had a different coaching style than I was used to. Obviously, he was a great coach, I just didn't know if he would be able to push me to my absolute potential.

The next week at school, I had to stay after school and finish up some things, the end of first quarter was a couple weeks away but they would fly by. After getting some quick calculus help and finishing a science lab, I was finally getting out of the school. Unfortunately, I had to pass Mrs. Hansen's classroom to get to the nearest exit. Walking past her classroom reminded me how much I missed talking to Brittany. My heart was at its wits end and I didn't know what to do. I hadn't really talked to Brittany that much since the kiss, a smile here in there in class but nothing else. I was too afraid to initiate a conversation. I walked by the room and saw her in there, sitting alone at the desk. I walked in, gloom and almost angry. She looked up and saw me.

"Shut the door, please," Miss. Pierce told me.

I shut it and moved a chair next to her but not too close.

She put her pen down. "Look, I can't do this. That was stupid and totally unprofessional, out-of-line, and unethical. I'm can't risk my whole college career for a high school student. I just can't. I'm sorry but this can't happen. We can't happen."

Those words stung. I knew she didn't mean it.

I looked straight into her eyes, "Look, I understand where you're coming from. I know you're scared, so am I. I've never felt like this in my whole life. If you can look into my eyes and tell me that this-" I cupped her cheek and kissed her. I kissed her more than I've kissed anything in my whole life. There was anger and passion; it was all so raw and real. She kissed back. I stopped the kiss before it got to be too much.

"If you can look me in the eye and tell me that that didn't mean anything, I'll leave you alone and stop trying. I'll walk out right now and you never have to talk to me again. But if you feel something, please, tell me. Don't leave me hanging."

She didn't say anything for what felt like eternity.

Thanks for reading! Sorry to stop off like this but I promise another update by the end of the weekend at the latest!