Chapter 17 – SPOV
It's decision time. It's not just some trivial matter in question; it's my entire life I have to decide about. Well, maybe that's a bit of an over exaggeration, but it's certainly the next four years that are an issue until I am legally an adult. I want to make everyone happy, I really do: but that's so hard when whatever I choose will hurt one person. My head hurts with the stress, and I didn't sleep a wink last night. Neither by the looks of it did Rose. But, until their babysitter Audrey arrives we have to look like nothing is wrong for the sake of the twins.
Esme and Carlisle called this morning to wish us good luck. It's like we're running a race or starting a new school. Well, whatever the outcome I'll be starting a new chapter of my life. I've grown accustomed to the hectic but strategically organised daily routine at the McCarty house and I think I'll miss the drama of it if the decision is made the other way. But, surprisingly I don't really miss the mayhem of the home; it was never resolved unlike here. I do miss Bella, however, and she's (without knowing it) the one making the decision all that harder. Were she not there as my best friend, my confidant, and my rock, I would have no trouble in making this decision. That's not to say I blame her. I don't at all. If anyone I should blame myself for being so indecisive.
"Karlie: where are you, Mama and Daddy going today without us?" Alice asked, crawling into bed beside me.
"No where you'd enjoy I don't think," I replied smiling at her.
"But why can't we come?" she said.
"Because Mum and Dad think you'd get bored and maybe a bit upset if you saw where we were going," I said honestly.
"Why would I get upset? Are you visiting a graveyard because I like them," she told me.
"No Ali, we're going to the place where Mum and Dad found me after fourteen years. It's where my friend Bella lives," I said, thinking that she'd soon get bored of this topic.
"Is it haunted then, because Jessie doesn't like ghosts but I've always wanted to see one. Do they wear clothes from their time or from ours?" she pondered.
There we go; it had worked. I was now discussing what sort of fashion ghosts liked to wear, when Rose opened the door.
"Morning darlings," she said smiling, but I could see her smile was strained and there were bags under her eyes that she hadn't got round to concealing yet.
"Mummy," Alice asked oblivious, "Is Granny Alexandra a ghost?"
"I should hope not," she replied opening the curtains and letting the sun in, "She'd terrify a fair few people if she were."
"She always scared me," Alice noted.
"You're not the only one. Now come on and leave your sister to change munchkin," she said picking Alice up out of the bed.
I got out of bed when the door was closed and walked to the wardrobe for what could be the last time. No don't think like that Savannah, you pessimistic person.
Selecting an outfit which didn't openly display its designer origins I made the bed and ran down the stairs. Emmett was in the kitchen making toast for the girls, and he smiled as I walked past.
I sat down next to Alice and looked at the bowl of melon in front of me. I couldn't eat. My head was spinning, my stomach was flipping and the sight of the melon made me feel faintly nauseous.
"You not hungry baby doll?" Emmett asked as he but the buttery toast on Alice's plate.
"No, I don't think I can stomach anything right now," I replied.
"You need to eat something though: it'll be a long day," he reminded me.
"I really can't," I persisted.
"Look, ditch the melon sweetie, and have a piece of toast instead," he said as I gave him a dubious look, "Go on, and keep your old dad happy."
"Daddy can I have another piece of toast?" Jessica demanded with her mouth full.
"Jess, don't talk with your mouthful – you know it's rude and so is demanding. But, I'll go and put another one in with Karlie's," he told her.
He did and when the toast was on the plate I gallantly ate a bite.
"And another one Savannah," Emmett warned lightly, "Or do I have to feed you?"
I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him before fighting my way through the piece of bread.
"Finished," I told him, "Or do you want me to lick the plate?"
"Don't get smart with me missy," he said, mock telling me off.
"Alright then," Rose said running into he room looking flustered, "Are we ready to leave?"
"Rosie, breathe," Emmett soothed as the doorbell rang.
"Karlie, that'll be Audrey, could you get it please," he asked me as he tried to calm his wife down.
I went to open the door to a woman I'd met only once when I'd first arrived.
"Hello," I said opening the door.
"Um, Savannah isn't it? Lovely to see you again," she said as I shut the door behind her.
"Yes, everyone's in the kitchen and I think we're about to leave," I told her.
"Perfect. I've brought paints for the twins, but don't you say anything or Rose will go ballistic. Last time we painted, let's just say they needed a new sofa, rug and to repaint the wall," she said smiling at me.
"Audrey!" Jessica yelled running through the hall.
"Don't touch the walls with your jammy hands," Rose shouted after her as the whole family came out into the entrance hall.
"Can you go now Mummy," Alice said bouncing up and down in excitement.
"It's good to know my children love me so much! But, yes darling we are going," Rose said kissing both of them before picking up her Louis Vuitton handbag from the chair by the front door.
"Bye," they chorused as we all walked out the door.
We drove in silence back the road I'd travelled two weeks ago. Everything looked different now; I was happy to be with the people in the car and was sad to be going away from the beautiful house with the beautiful family that lived inside.
"You ready?" Emmett asked as we pulled into the car park.
"As I'll ever be," Rose and I said simultaneously.
I smiled at her, and she smiled weakly back. She looked anxious, and I didn't like the fact that this was all down to me. Her face was as white as a sheet and even though it was the summer she had goose bumps on her arms. Emmett put one arm around her shoulder and took my hand in the other. My small suitcase of belongings lay in the back of the car, and Emmett had promised that if I chose to stay here he would send my new wardrobe over.
I rang the doorbell and waited... Miss Macey came to the door with a screaming child attached to her leg.
"Do come in. Let me just sort this out: Julia can you come and take Lucy away please," she shouted as one of the assistants came down the stairs; scooping Lucy into her arms.
"If you'll follow me to my office, we have the results of the blood test and Savannah, Bella is in there for you. You can catch up quickly then she needs to leave okay," she told us as we were led through the familiar hallways that held echoes of my old life in every corner of them.
We entered her office and Bella ran up and hugged me.
"Sana, I've missed you so much," she squealed, hugging me.
"Me too Bells," I replied.
"I know you want to get on with this, but I just wanted to say that whatever you decide, I'll support you through it and we'll still be the best of friends," she told me sincerely before smiling and leaving the room.
"Can I just echo what she's said," Emmett put in, "Whatever you decide, we will be there for you no matter what."
"Thank-you," I said before taking a seat on one of the three chairs facing her desk.
So, do we want the blood test results first then?" Miss Macey asked.
Since it was pretty obvious what the result was, we all nodded.
"Right then. Well, believe it or not Savannah is your daughter and you are her paternal parents," Miss Macey said, setting what we'd already known in stone.
"Savannah," Miss Macey said as she filed the results away, "Since we know the McCarty's decision, could I ask you to tell us yours."
It all came down to this. To me. I had to decide between my friends or my family. It was the toughest decision I would probably ever make and I had just been asked to make it. What was it Carrie tells Miranda to do in Sex and the City? That's it, weigh up the pros against the cons. Okay then, let's try that. Pros of living with the McCarty's: everything. Well that's really helpful Savannah isn't it. You've just reached the same conclusion as before; you can't decide. But why should you? No-one else has ever been made to do this. Well, you're special so get over it. Everyone is waiting for you, just choose something. But what if it's the wrong decision and I regret it for the rest of my life. That's a fact I'm going to have to face. Decide Savannah Karlie Rose McCarty. Right, I think I know what I want.
I lifted my head up, and prepared to launch into a speech when Rose spoke up.
"Miss Macey, if you don't mind, could I speak to you alone for a minute?" she asked.
"Why of course Mrs McCarty, just follow me," Miss Macey said leading her into the lounge part of her office and closing the door.
An awkward silence filled the air as Emmett and I sat there: not knowing exactly what to say to each other.
Whatever happens Karlie, we'll always love you," he reminded me.
"Thank-you and I will too. Don't take any decision I make personally," I told him.
"I just want what's right for you, and so does Rosie. I'm not trying to play your guilty conscience here but I don't want to see Rose fall back into her depression no matter what the outcome is. Those were the worst times of my life seeing her like that," he said sincerely.
"I don't want that to happen either," I reassured him.
"She puts across this brave front, but underneath she's like a baby bird: easily broken and destroyed. Not many people see that side to her, but she gives you glimpses of it now and again, and seeing them breaks my heart every time," he said sorrowfully.
It was the first time I had seen this side to Emmett. Normally he was fun loving, and always happy, but now I was getting to see his emotional side and the depth of his love for Rosalie. It was a love that ran so deep, that not even the sharpest of blades would ever penetrate it. It was the kind of love I wanted to find one day; the sort you read about in fairytales, but that never happens in real life.
I was brought out of my silent meditation by the creak of the door opening, and both Miss Macey and Rose walking back in. There was colour in Rose's cheeks again and the bags under her eyes seemed to have faded.
Miss Macey smiled the most genuine smile at me before saying:
"I believe Rosalie has something to say to us all, if we bring Isabella in quickly."
Now I was confused. What did Rose want to say that she wanted Bella to hear, but I was relieved when I heard her sit down beside me and take my hand in hers.
Rose smiled at us, her audience, before opening her mouth to speak...
Sorry this took so long, we had grandparents and cousins over last weekend so there was no time for anything. I hope you enjoy this, and I wonder if you can guess what Rose is about to propose... Thank-you for reading once again, XxX