Falling Into The Darkness

Chapter 6: Confusing 'Dreams'

Disclaimer: Don't own anything sadly :''(

Long time no update, I know. It's just I a lot of shit going on in my life, I'm about to crack soon. So, again sorry. Hope this doesn't disappoint!

Song for this chapter: OMG, I found some `real' vampire songs! System-by Korn and Change-by Deftones!

Previously

"I ruined your life? I took everything away from you?" She said in a cruel voice with a dark laugh.

"You weren't the one who had to watch as every single person in your family was killed right in front of you. But not before they begged for you to help them. You weren't he one who sat there and said to yourself, that the people who said that they were your family would come and rescue you, only to have them never come. You're not the one who thought that someone had finally rescued you, only to be thrown into a war with vampires where they treat each other like shit. Image what they treated humans like, human women to be more exact. Then to be given to a male vampire who uses you as a chew toy and rapes you every night, to then have said male vampire trade you like your nothing. I have seen more death then any person should see in their life time. So yeah, I'm the one who ruined your live." I didn't know what to say to that. I was trying to process everything she just said. My mind was frozen and I just didn't know what to do.

Jaspers' pov

I heard the bedroom door swing open but I didn't move. I still had hold of Bella against the wall. All my muscles were tight and tense. I tried to keep my breathing level and the inner monster locked away but with what Bella had just told me and having her heated body pressed against mine, it was not helping, add that to the flames licking the back of my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.

"Jasper man, you need to put her down and go hunt." Peters' calm voice rang clear but I didn't move. I felt a hand on my shoulder and growled.

"Major you are hurting her. You need to hunt now!" His voice louder, a little more strained. I let go and Bella crumbled to the floor, her breaths coming out as gasps. I didn't even notice that I was holding her that hard. I looked down at her crumbled body; she had her hand to her throat trying to calm her breathing down.

"Let's go." Peter whispered and pushed my shoulder in the direction of the door, I complied with him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to Bella so low I don't know if she heard me or not.

Peter pushed me out of the house and into the forest. We were about twenty miles away from the house when I smelt a herd of deer, they smelt disgusting but the flames were burning at my throat and needed to be extinguished. I usually go for humans but I was to thirsty tonight, I would go for the easy kill.

After I drained a whole herd of deer and a few mountain lions the scorching flames were dulled, not completely gone but bearable now. I climbed up into a tree and sat on the thickest branch and started thinking about what Bella had told me. I could process everything better in this state of mind.

It's only been three years. Three fucking years, that's it. To a vampire it's a blink of an eye. It just seems like yesterday that we sat in that cafeteria and a weak clumsy human walked right into our lives and tore them down...well, at least that's how I thought of it yesterday. I thought she had crushed my world and took everything from me all while laughing dancing over the ruble that used to be my world.

Believe me, I still hate her and don't want anything to do with her. It's just now I know she has been to hell and back and I still only know what she had rushed out. That's probably not even half of the story. She was as broken like me just in different ways. I was in a war for more than a hundred years, she had been tortured and used as a slave. The more I thought about it, we were more alike than I thought.

I was broken out of my thoughts when Peter sat on the tree branch across from mine. From his emotions I knew he wasn't happy with me. Well, that's just too damn bad, I thought. I don't want to play nice with the human. Yes, she been through shit and I wouldn't wish that on anyone but what's done is done. She did this to herself, she didn't have to eat lunch with us that day, didn't have to go and dig around and figure out what we are. But she did and she had to deal with the consequences of being intertwined with our world. I do have pity for her; I'm not a total ass-wipe. I'm just not goin' to sit there and hold her a hand she's a big girl. she can make her own decisions.

Peter sighed, shook his head and slid out of the tree. "Just remember my words Major." He said in a low voice before taking off back to the house. I knew what words he meant; he didn't want me to screw up, whatever the fuck that meant. I'm getting tired of his 'all knowing' shit. Stupid pixy did the same shit and look where that put me. I'm tired of people screwing me over and not even taking a second look.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep un-needed breath, hopped out of the tree and headed home.

~~~ONE MONTH LATER ~~~

Bella's' pov

It's been weeks and I've seen nothing but glimpses of Jasper here and there. He hasn't said one word to me since he blamed his fucked up life on me and I told him most of what had happened to me. I don't know what the fuck I did to him, other than him thinking that I was the cause of Alice leave him. Sometimes I wish he should have just left me with Damon but I always shook my head at that one.

It's starting to piss me off that everyone always blames me for everything, Victoria blamed me for the death of James. Jacob and the pack blamed me for the deaths of Innocent people and they also blamed me for them being fucking wolves; yeah somehow that was my fucking fault too. Maria blamed me for taking away the Major. I don't know how she came up with that one. I guess it's because I used to date one of the Cullens and she couldn't find one of them so she took it out on me. Damon. Well, Damon just liked to hurt me. Jasper blames me for everything that he probably did all by himself, he was probably an ass to pixy bitch like he is to me and she just got tired of it.

I mean if I was such a problem for him here, why did he take me from Damon? Maybe he had mental problems when he was human and just brought them over into this life or maybe he drank form some crack head and the drugs went into his system.

I laughed at the last part of my thought, I wonder if they can even get high from draining drug addicts.

"What's got you giggling sugar?" Peter asked in his Texan twang. We were currently in the living room watching some random show. I really liked Peter, he was funny as hell and knew just what to say. Char was funny too and really sarcastic just like me so we got along great.

"Oh, just what you would look like in a tutu." I giggled at the thought; it wasn't that much of a lie. I really did wonder what he would look like. He raised an eyebrow at me and got up off his seat. He put his arms in the air and spun around like a ballerina, I just giggled more.

"How was it?" He asked and I giggled some more at him.

"Amazing you should try out for Swan Lake." I clapped my hands and he bowed making me laugh more.

"Now for real Izzy, what was really making you laugh?" He asked and I knew he had caught me out.

"I was just thinking about how Jasper might have a mental problem or maybe he drank from a drug addict and it messed him up." I snorted just thinking about it. Peter and Char were chuckling, then I heard a growl coming from somewhere in the house. I just rolled my eyes.

"Guys, I'm outta here, going to bed." I said getting off of the couch stretching.

"Okay, night Izzy." Peter said as I walked off to my room.

Once inside, I put some pj's on and got in bed. I turned off the lamp and rolled over. I lay awake for a while tossing and turning. I felt a cold breeze and knew I wasn't alone. I slowly sat up and slid off the bed. I grabbed the knife that was on my night stand, I knew it most likely wouldn't do anything but I wouldn't go down without a fight. I heard a chuckle and was slightly relieved but still tensed and ready for an attack.

"That was pretty quick for a human but you won't need that." His voice was seductive. He was hidden in the shadows so I could barely see him.

"What the fuck are you doing in here? You can't just go barging into someone's room whenever you want." I hissed and he chuckled, it was low and dark. I almost shuddered, almost.

"I can do anything I wish, it is my house." He said with the same level of dark in his voice that he had in his chuckles.

"What do you want?" I matched his dark tone. He came toward me at his natural speed. I could see his movements because of the years of having to deal with vampires. He was coming straight to me. At last second to put the knife at an angle so it was level to my nose. I than felt him, his cold chest nearly inches from mine. He chuckled and I looked up at him. The knife was flush against his throat.

"Nice move kitty but I don't think you can kill me with that tinny thing." He smirked at me evilly.

"Why don't we find out?" I smirked right back at him.

"No thanks, I think I'll pass." He whispered in my ear and then he had me pinned against the wall again. God dammit what was it with him and walls?

I was about to ask him, well more like demand what his problem was, when suddenly his lips crashed into mine. I freaked and tried to get away but he held me still and kept kissing me, it wasn't rough but it wasn't soft and sweet either. He licked my bottom lip and I moaned. I have always lusted after Jasper and found him sexy but I always tried not to think too much about it and now here he was kissing me, his hands roaming my body.

I opened my mouth to for him, he slipped his tongue in. I moaned at the sensation at the same time he let out a groan, he tasted delicious. My arms went around his neck and my legs hooked around his waist. His hands went to my ass and he squeezed making me moan yet again. He started moving us without breaking the kiss. Seconds later something soft hit my back, I figured it was my bed. I needed to breathe so he broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down my neck and across my chest. I gasped when I felt his cold hands slip under my shirt. He was drawing soft patterns with his fingertips. I pulled his head back up to mine so he could kiss me again.

*****Some time later******

"Bella, Bella?" I heard Char call from the door. I opened my eyes and it was light out. What the hell just happened? Was it all just a dream or was it real? Did I really kiss Jasper? My head started to hurt just trying to figure it out. It seemed so real, it had to be. I looked at my side table and didn't see my knife there so I looked to where I thought Jasper had pinned me to the wall. There was my knife, lying on the floor where I had dropped it last night. I touched my lips and they were swollen, I had the taste of honey on my tongue. I put my head in my hands trying to figure out what the fuck happened last night.

"Bella wake up now. I made you lunch since you slept through and missed breakfast" Char yelled through the door making me I groan at having to get up.

Okay, so what do you think? The longest one I've ever written. Oh, and what about the Bella pov? It was really fun writing it gave me something new. Don't forget about the almost, but not quite lemon. Do you think it was real or not? I need to know what you think! PLEASE REVIEW!

But I know some of y'all were saying I should get a Beta and I know I should but I don't know if it's just me but its hard finding one, so if you want to have apart in writing this story please pm me or just write me a review saying you want to be my beta! If you really like this story and want to make me feel good about myself REVIEW! GOOD OR BAD I'LL TAKE ALL!