The whole next week of school, I was flocked by people congratulating me. A party was even held in honor of the swimming and diving teams, complete with cake! In all honesty though, it was Quinn and I who filled people's mouths throughout the whole town. We received a nice front-page headline on the local newspaper. We even made a small national headline talking about the remarkable tie in our backstroke race and a mention in some of the most prominent swimming news websites and blogs. I soaked up all the camaraderie. I loved all the attention and I didn't think there was anything wrong with enjoying something that I've worked so hard for. It was nice that the whole town was nice that he whole town was talking about swimming instead of football.

People were literally stopping me at the store or the gym and asking if I was Santana Lopez. It was great and I was able to talk to everyone about my experience and about swimming. It felt even better wearing a reminder of that amazing day around my neck with the necklace that Brittany got me. I swear, every time I looked at it, it was even more beautiful, exactly like every time I looked at Brittany.

I decided to take two weeks off from swimming before I started back up with the club team and Coach Langley to prepare for the summer long-course season. I'd lose a little bit of stamina but I knew that there were certain things you had to do for yourself and this was one of them. Once I got back though, I'd be better than ever.

The Friday after Valentine's Day, Brittany and I had our low-key V-Day date. Although we decided on no gifts, I did get her some flowers, I couldn't help it. She deserves them and I know she actually really likes flowers. After a lovely dinner, we went back to my house. Ellie was out at a party and my parents were at the hospital's Valentine's Day party and wouldn't be home until pretty late. We snuggled on the couch and watched the movie Valentine's Day but really, we just made fun of how ridiculous it was.

After the movie was over, we went up to my room. Even though we had the whole house to ourselves, I wanted to go to my room. I wanted to be close to her, to be private. I pulled her close and pressed my body against her and I felt our lips connect. I pushed her back and onto my bed. I gently laid down on top of her and continued to kiss her. I made my way down and kissed her neck as she moaned. I took my hand and caressed her breast. Before I knew it, we were both topless and I was feeling extremely turned on and hot. I wanted so much to be able to give her everything. I knew my body was ready, I could feel it but I still couldn't. My mind told me to wait. Brittany flipped me on my back and made a trail of kisses down my neck and towards my belly.

"Brittany?" I ran a hand over her soft hair. "I'm sorry. I can't."

She stopped and laid down next to me. I laced my fingers through hers and put my other hand on her torso. I traced patterns of nothingness on her bare stomach.

I started to talk again, "I realize how selfish I'm being and I want to with you, I really do. I just want to be able to give you everything and I can't do that right now."

"Don't be sorry. You're not being selfish. I want you to be comfortable. I'll would wait for you forever. Let's just talk."

I smiled at her. "Hmmm, tell me something I don't already know about you."

She thought for several seconds before saying, "I had an eating disorder in high school."

My eyes widened in surprise. Brittany is absolutely beautiful and her body is like a work of art. Eating was never an issue for her, at least not when I'm with her. She's health conscious but she's never overbearing or obsessive about it.

She continued on, "It wasn't a full blown one that landed me in the hospital or anything but it would have if I stayed down the track I was going. It only lasted a few months but it was some of the darkest months of my life. It was after I came out and I was struggling with all of that while battling my dance teacher who continually told me that I wasn't as skinny as I used to be and I needed to lose weight if I wanted to go anywhere in dance. So, I started reducing my caloric intake. People noticed, but I blew them off. I was exhausted and one day, I was fighting with my dad about nothing at all. He asked me, 'Britty, what is really wrong?' All I could do was start crying and said, 'Dad, I have an eating disorder and I need help.' So I started to see an eating disorder counselor and I started to get my life back on track. I gradually started to eat more and I switched dance studios. Slowly, I was able to get my life back on track. I gained back the weight I had lost and I ended up becoming an even better dancer."

I touched her cheek to steer a tear away. She held my hand on her face. "I-I'm speechless. I'm so sorry Brittany."

"No, don't be. Everything happens for a reason. This happened so I could go out and help other people. There was this girl a year ago that was hiding an eating disorder and I recognized it and we were able to get her help."

"That is absolutely amazing. You are so inspiring." I thought for just a second, letting a wave of curiosity fall over me. "What was the hardest part of the whole thing? If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, no. Not at all. The hardest part was looking at my dad's face when I told him. He was heartbroken but at the same time, he was determined to make me better and that's what he did, they both did. I knew that they knew it wasn't their fault but it was still in my mind that they might have felt that way and that was the last thing I wanted them to feel."

"Wait, when I first started falling for you, it was when I thought you were so pretty when I came in with my essay. And it was about eating disorders."

She smiled. "Yeah, it was. And it was very good. Spot on. It actually kind of intrigued me."

"I'm so sorry, if I knew, I never would have…"

"No," she waves me off. "There would have been no way for you to know. And it's kind of like being out. It's something you have to come to terms with. It was a dark part of my life but I've grown from it and learned so much."

"I cannot believe this. You are so amazing. I only have an ever bigger respect for you."

She smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth and although she'd be okay if I asked more questions, I knew she was done talking about it.

"Have you thought more about what you want to major in?" She asked me.

I shrugged. "Kind of. This is going to sound really freaking dorky but I've really been looking into the engineering field."

She looked at me, intrigued and asked, "Like civil engineering? Like roads and bridges?"

"Oh, no. Not at all. I don't really like physics. I was looking into chemical or biochemical engineering maybe. I absolutely love chemistry, it makes me feel powerful. And biology is kind of cool." I realize what a complete nerd I am sounding like and I backtrack. "I know it's not exactly glamorous and I would totally make fun of anyone else who said they wanted to do it but there's jobs everywhere, even if it's not an actual engineer. And BHU has a really good engineering program."

"So no medicine?"

"No. I don't think I want to be a doctor. I don't have the patience to go through med school and then residency."

"Not even an eye doctor?"

"Oh, hell no. I'm sure it's a very great career and I would not be able to see without them but I can't get past having to say "1 or 2" all day every day. I don't know, maybe law? Does your mom like it?"

Brittany nodded. "She does but she would have a hard time recommending it to anyone. It's really grueling to climb the career ladder for a lawyer. Except, I'm sure with your wits and intelligence, you'd be a great lawyer. Or maybe even Ellie..."

"Ellie is the best arguer I know... She can even beat me and that really baffles me."

She chuckled. "You know, you don't have to have your future planned out yet, I was just wondering. I know you're worried about it but there are juniors in college who are still undeclared. No matter what, I'll always be proud of you."

I smiled and pulled her a little closer to me. Being with Brittany is such a dream. The best feeling in the world is that I have to constantly have to remind myself that she's actually mine.

The week after the Valentine's day, I was confronted by Kaylie, Chloe's freshman sister who saw Brittany and I kiss, in the hallway next to my locker.

Her voice was shy and quiet. "Hi, Santana. Great job last weekend."

"Chloe didn't do bad either!" I tried to say with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Yeah," she said, brushing off the mention of her sister. "Look, I'm just going to ask you. Are you dating someone?"

I was done hiding, I could do it. It didn't matter anymore. Why should it?

"I sure am," I said, throwing a book into my locker.

"That girl I saw you with at state?"

I close my locker with a bit of force. "Yep."

"Oh, okay. That's cool." She turned to walk away but I could sense that she still wanted to know more, she was just too scared to ask.

So I told her what she wanted to know.

"You know what, Kaylie?" She straightened back around to face me. "It really is cool. I like my girlfriend a lot and I like girls a lot." I wasn't trying to be a bitch or be mean, I was just trying to get my point across without acting like it was the biggest deal in the whole world.

Kaylie didn't say anything, she took a half a step back.

"Oh, but don't worry, you're not my type. And while you're at it, can you just keep this to yourself for now?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

Kaylie ran around with the popular girls in the freshman class and she was an aspiring Cheerio. I knew that telling her not to tell anyone would make her want to tell everyone. If I was her and I knew something like that about a senior, I would be telling all my friends. I suppose this just gave me the extra push to tell my friends before they heard it from freshman.

At lunch, I spotted Colby and Jenna waiting for me. Jenna was twirling her keys in her hand.

"Hey, S. Let's go off campus today. Where do you want to eat?"

"I don't really care. Where's Brooke?"

"She's staying back to finish a chem lab."

"Since when did she care so much about chemistry? Let's go to Subway. I need to talk to you two."

We pulled up to Subway, ordered our sandwiches, and sat down in a little booth.

Colby interrupted our voracious eating. "So Santana, what do you have to tell us?"

I inhaled and closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds. "I'm just going to preface that you two, and Brooke, have been my best friends since forever. Even when I'm a total bitch, you're all still here for me and I really do love you all so much. I don't want our friendship to ever change..."

"Santana, cut to the chase," Colby commanded.

"I'm gay," I blurted. "I like girls."

There. I said it. There was no taking it back. I've never been one to be nervous about what I said. I've never been afraid to say what was on my mind, to say what I thought about anything, or even to just be a bitch. Being so nervous about what two of the people I cared most about would think of me was so new to me.

They both looked at each other and started laughing. I furrowed my brow. Did they think this was a joke? It clearly wasn't.

"It's not a damn joke," I pleaded. "I'm being serious."

Jenna suppressed her laughter. "We know that you like girls. We've known for a long time. Actually, we were placing bets on when you would tell us. I thought you would wait until after graduation. Jenna thought before. And Brooke wasn't really sure..."

"Now Colby has to clean my car!" Jenna excitedly said.

"Damn it! Ellie knew too. Do I just have a giant 'gay' tattooed on my forehead?" I asked, totally surprised.

"No! We knew because you just, I don't know. We just did. Even when you were dating Puck for like two years or whatever, there was just something about you." Colby smiled. "Some of the things you said or did. They were small but after awhile, we kind of caught on."

Jenna took a bite full of sandwich. "And we're totally cool with it, it doesn't change anything at all. At all. I still love you. Maybe if I start experimenting, we can have sex," Jenna joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please Jenna, I'm way too hot for you to handle. But you two are the best. You guys have no idea how nerve wracking these past few months have been."

"I know, you have been. You could have told us," Colby said.

"Well why didn't you tell me that I was gay?"

"Come on Santana. If we would've told you, you would've freaked out. Especially if you hadn't come to terms with it yourself," Colby said.

"I would not have... okay, you're right." I admit.

"We're here for you now, if you need to talk."

Jenna nodded and said, "Have you told your parents yet?"

I told them the whole story and they listened intently. The lunch period was about to end so we piled into Colby's car.

While Jenna backed out of the lot she said, "Who's the lucky girl?"

I grinned. I underestimated them way too much. Or maybe I just wasn't the best at keeping secrets.

"This whole coming out thing isn't a secret anymore but who I'm dating kinda is. Like, I just don't want everyone to know. Can you guys keep a secret?"

"Yes." They said it in unison. It didn't doubt me. I trusted them with my life.

"It's Miss. Pierce. Our, uh, our old English student teacher. Her first name is Brittany."

"OH MY GOSH, Santana! She is hot! I didn't know that she… whoa. Props to you, girl."

I snorted a laugh. "She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. I really like her. And we're really good together. She's unlike any other relationship I've had. She's making me soft!"

"Aw! That is totally so cute! No wonder she was sitting with your family at state! I presume they like her?"

"Ellie absolutely loves her. My parents, after getting over the whole shock of it, they ended up really liking her, as well. She's so damn charming, they had to like her."

"Were you dating while she was our teacher?" Jenna asked curiously.

I bashfully smiled. "...We couldn't help it!"

Jenna's jaw dropped as they stared at me, incredulous. Colby eyed me from the drivers seat and grinned.

She broke the silence, "Well, if it's any consolation to you two, I couldn't tell. Except it does explain why you were always so excited to go to English."

I just smiled. Getting this off my chest made me feel a million times lighter. I never really knew how big this was until I started to feel the weight of it finally come off.

We pulled back into school and I was really happy. I told them that I didn't care who knew about it. I knew that not everyone would be as easygoing as Colby and Brooke but I listened to the little Brittany voice in my head that told me they weren't worth it.

When I told Brooke, later on that night when she came over to study, she was being her curious self, never shy about sexuality. It didn't help that Jenna and I were never shy about sex itself, we always talk about it, share stories. Not in a weird perverted way, just as two close friends. That being said, I should have anticipated when she asked, "Is she good in bed?"

"It's funny how you care more about my sex life than the fact that I've come to terms with myself and my sexual orientation," I simply said.

"No, that's great and I'm happy for you but like Colbs and Jenna said, we already knew," she said with a grin. "But you're avoiding the question Santana."

Instead of answering I just shrugged.

"Come on, Santana. We've told each other everything. I know you have lots to share about it."

"You may think you know everything about my sex life, Brooke... but maybe I just never told you some things." She does know everything but I was still trying to avoid the question.

"Oh, I know I know everything. Come on, you don't have to go into detail, just tell me what it's like," she persisted.

"We haven't yet!" I finally blurted out.

Her mouth dropped in shock. "Wait, what? You've been together how long?"

"Like half a year," I shyly replied. "But come on, there's couples who stay together for years before they have sex. And sex isn't everything."

"Yeah but those are rare. And you're Santana Lopez. You're not some slut but you and Puck had sex way sooner than half a year! I know that if I was gay and I had a hot little girlfriend like her, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her."

"Don't worry, I don't keep my hands off of her, nor does she. We just aren't at that next step in our relationship."

"So you just fool around and then when it gets too hot you... Take a cold shower?"

I shrugged. "Something like that. It's not her though, it's me. She wants to but I'm not ready. I don't know. I care so much about Brittany and our relationship, I don't want it to be another stupid boyfriend."

"And she's cool with that? With waiting?"

"Yeah, she told me she would wait forever for me. It's honestly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Wait, so you like her a lot? Or you love her?" Brooke asked cautiously.

I smirked. "You know, there's been a few times where 'I love you' almost slipped out. I...I'm definitely falling in love, we'll leave it at that."

She just smiled widely.

Of course, I told Brittany all about it and she was more than happy for me.

"I always liked those girls."

"Brooke and Jenna said you were hot, by the way."

Brittany brushed fake dust off of her shoulder. "Can't say that I disagree."

"So cocky. And they all miss you."

"We'll all have to go out sometime."

"Okay, just as long as you don't fall for one of them instead of me."

"That would never happen." Then she planted a sweet kiss on my lips. "Well, you know. I never thought that I'd be dating a high schooler after I had already graduated college so... Never say never."

"Okay, Justin Beiber," I said. "Wait, you don't really think of me as just a high schooler, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not really. More like a mature middle schooler."

I chuckled. "You're not funny."

"I think you think I am." She winked. "So, as you know, Santana. My birthday is coming up.."

"In like a month." I laughed. "Are you one of those people who start celebrating their birthday weeks ahead?"

"Oh, look who's funny now!" She said sarcastically. "I'm bringing it up early for an important reason. See, my birthday is during your spring break. And you know that during breaks, the studio usually closes. So… I'm going to Canton for a couple days to see my parents and my brother on my birthday. And I want you to come. With me. To meet them."

I contemplated what she had just asked me for a few moments. Staying with her at her parent's house. Three hours away? Would my parents even agree to it? I wanted to meet her family badly.

"Well, what do you say? It would be like the best birthday present ever."

I smiled at her. "I would absolutely love to. I'll ask my parents as soon as possible."

"Absolutely not." My mom's words stung. It was a morning before school.

"Why!? I thought you loved Brittany!"

"I do, I adore your girlfriend but you're not going almost three hours away to stay with people I don't even know."

"Your mother has a point, Santana." My father was just sitting at the table reading the paper on his iPad. I think that if I had asked him alone, he would have agreed. He always talks about Brittany now, it's comical really.

"You don't understand. This is a serious thing. I'm serious about Brittany. It's her birthday. I want to meet her family. She's met you two. I'm an adult, I should be able to make these decisions on my own."

"You're still living under our roof. And Santana, what if things don't go well? Then what will you do? You'll have nowhere to go."

"You know just as well as I do that Brittany would not let that happen. Even if things do go wrong, you know that Brittany will take care of me. She'd jump through fire for me."

"But what if she doesn't, Santana? This is her familia. She's known them a lot longer than she's known you."

That really hurt. It was almost as if she thought that Brittany wasn't serious about this, that we weren't serious about it. Like this was some kind of fling.

"Can you just trust her? Trust me?"

"Santana, I can't handle this right now. I need to think about this and I need to leave. Jorge, I'll see you in a little."

With that, my mom took off.

I moped around to the table next to my dad.

"Papi?"

"Yes, honey?"

"You'd let me go, wouldn't you?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes, when I was trying to scrape by in medical school in Mexico back in the day, I'd do odd jobs for people who were a lot sketchier than the Pierce's could ever be. I'd do some really strange things there too and saw a lot of things I wish I could erase. Have you ever seen a chicken eat a dog? Anyway, you just do what you have to do. Experiences breed character, no matter how bad the experience is. And look at all the character I have today!" He flashed a cocky grin. "So, staying with the Pierce's would easily be a step up, I'd let you go."

I laughed. Honestly, half of the things that my dad says don't make sense and I'm not even sure if half of his stories were true.

"Santana, I'll talk to your mother. I like Brittany and you're right, she's one of a kind and very genuine. But next time, try looking at it from your mother's standpoint. It's scary sending your little girl out into the world."

My dad got up and kissed me on the top of the head before he left for the day.

At lunch, I felt like everyone's eyes were on me. By now, almost everyone knew my "secret." I had told enough people myself that it had already filtered throughout the whole school. All of the talk about swimming was gone, now it was all about Santana Lopez being a lesbian. Strangely, I still felt lighter, happier.

During this transition time, I tried to stay pretty low key and fly under the radar, not to draw attention to myself. When people would give me shit about it, I found the best way to counter them was to let my other self, Snixx, out of the cage or ignore them, like Brittany said. One day at lunch, I went to my locker to change out my books. Puck and some other jocks were standing nearby.

"Hey, Puckerman. How long did you date Santana until she decided to become a dyke?" I ignored the voice and shook my head.

"Dude, just shut up," Puck said. I think he was getting a lot of crap for it from his friends. I felt bad but there's nothing I could have done to prevent it.

"No dude, just watch this."

I saw him in my peripheral vision walking towards me. It was that puck-head Rick "The Stick" Nelson.

He leaned his arm on the locker beside me.

"Hey, Santana. You're looking hot as always in this pretty sweater dress and these boots that definitely work what you've got." He looked me up and down. "Congratulations on the swimming."

"Well thanks, Rick," I mocked graciousness and rolled my eyes. "Someone at this school needs to be winning. God knows the hockey team isn't."

"Ouch. Considering that I'm going to Ohio State to play hockey, I think we're doing alright."

"Oh, Ohio State! Hot damn! Did you know that I'm going to Brooklyn-Hale to swim? It's ranked right behind Cal Berkeley as one of the best universities in the United States and it's number 1 in it's swimming conference. But Ohio State, what is their acceptance rate? Like 100%?" It was more like 60% but I doubt that Rick even knew what an acceptance rate was. "And just for kicks, what was the ice hockey record for Ohio State last year?"

He ignored me. "So, tell me... I don't understand why you don't like dick anymore. Is it all the swimming and being around all the naked girls? Or was it Puckerman's? Because if it was, I can show you how it really works. I can show you how a real man works and you'll be normal again."

"You're a fucking pig, Rick. It's not like that at all. Maybe if you'd get your hockey stick out of your ass, you would see that."

"It's not like that? Oh, please, enlighten me. Tell me what it's like? Why you prefer a vagina over a penis?"

"You know what? Maybe, just maybe, you think that you should harass me in front of your other stick-heads to overcompensate for your own tiny, baby carrot-sized…"

He cut me off, "Look, just tell me, do you still find guys attractive?"

"Well, of course I do," I said, toying with him. "Especially guys with outdated ginger mullets…"

"Oh really?" He plays along. "So you wouldn't mind coming home with me after school and having a little fun?"

Just then, I saw someone coming up behind Rick. It was Kyle. Kyle and I had talked a few times after that extremely awkward date. Not anything deep but friendly conversation. Kyle tapped him on the shoulder. Rick turned around.

"Oh, hey Kirsch. I'm sure you've heard about Santana. She likes boobs. I was just telling her that I could show her how a real man does it, if you know what I mean."

Kyle said, "No dude, I don't. Shut up." And then it all happened so fast, Kyle wound up his hand and punched Rick square in the face. Kyle wasn't buff, he was ripped but skinny from all the running he did. Rick was just a wannabe-meathead but still bigger than Kyle. I was scared for him; scared that Rick would punch back. I saw Rick clench his fist and then calm down when he realized a crowd was forming. Neither of them wanted to get suspended or in trouble.

Rick put his hands up. "Whatever, man. Have fun defending the freaks your whole life."

Rick walked away back towards the crowd of jocks. I saw Puck catch my eye and give me a brief, sympathetic smile before turning away. Kyle grabbed my elbow and told me to come on a little walk since there was still time left during lunch.

"Thank you Kyle. I was handling it perfectly though, it was all in my control."

He grinned. "I know, I just wanted to put Rick out of his misery. He's a dick. And I'm sorry that there are so many ignorant bigots out there in the world."

"I'm going to have to get used to it," I said with a sigh.

"I know. But you shouldn't. There's no reason that anyone should have to put up with that."

I smiled. He was so kind.

He spoke again, "So, I'm guessing you have a girlfriend?"

I blushed. "How do you know?"

"Remember when we went on a date and it didn't go very well? It would have been a lot of fun but you were reserved because… you're dating someone!" He smiled. "Who's the lucky girl? Is she in here?" He put his hand up like he was saluting and scouted out the quad that we were walking in.

I laughed. "No, she doesn't go here. She's actually not in high school."

"Ohhh, going for those older women! Or younger…."

"Ahh, very funny. No, she's 21. Actually, her birthday is super soon. She just graduated college in December from LU."

"Do I know her?"

Kyle didn't have Hansen for English so I didn't feel the need to explain who she was. If he did have her for English, I probably would have told him, especially after what he just did for me.

"No, probably not. She was a LU Dancing Bean so she danced in some of their games but I don't think you would have paid much attention to that…"

He laughed. "Definitely not. I hate football."

The bell rang.

He asked, "Walk you to class?"

"I'd love that!"

"I don't think I've formally congratulated you on state. Three wins and a third place overall? That's so amazing. I don't know how you did it!" I love how Kyle didn't linger too long on the topic of my sexuality. Rarely does someone talk to me about anything else nowadays.

"Well, thanks. I can't take full credit for the relay win. It was definitely my girls who pulled those off."

"You're a lot nicer than me. When the track guys place in a relay, I take all the credit."

I laughed, he was joking. We got to my class and he put his arm around me.

"Hey, look. If anyone gives you anymore crap, like Rick, just tell me. I'll take care of 'em."

"Thanks, Kyle! You're a sweetheart." I reached up and gave him a hug.

As I was getting out of practice, Brittany called me.

"Hey, babe," I answered. "I was just about to call you!"

"I think I have telepathy."

I laughed. "So what's up?"

"I have a job interview at Hamilton High in Hamilton, Ohio where, as you know, that glorious Brookly-Hale University calls home."

"You're kidding!" I exclaimed, maybe breaking her eardrum in the process.

"Serious as a heart attack! It's next week. It looks promising. The English teacher was fired mid semester because of years of tax fraud so I suppose anyone would be better than that.."

"Wow, Brittany. That's absolutely great!" We hadn't explicitly talked about plans after the year ended. She knew I was going to go to college, I knew she would find a teaching position. We hadn't talked about our future together either, we were just playing it by ear. I guess we both felt like it may have been too soon to talk about it. "I hope it goes well. When is it?"

"In a few weeks! I just drive down and then we'll see!"

"Well, good luck. They'll love you!"

I could sense her blushing through the phone. "So why were you going to call me, Santana?"

"Oh! I asked my parents about going to Canton and I think I'll just charm them into letting me go, maybe I'll clean out their closet of all their frigid work clothes." I shuddered at the thought of some of their horribly outdated clothing. "My dad's on board but my mom is a little apprehensive."

"Okay. Why doesn't your mom want you to go?"

"She's just a little protective. She doesn't want anything to happen to her first born daughter," I say with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well, nothing will."

"I know. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to her again and do that closet thing, God knows they need it. Oh, did you ever have Rick Nelson in class?"

"That red-head with the mullet?"

"Yes. He, uh, he basically mocked my sexuality in front of all of his jock friends and you'll never guess who saved the day..."

"Wonder Woman?" She guessed optimistically.

I chuckled. "No. It was that one guy, Kyle."

"Oh! The one that you cheated on me with? I mean, the guy that you went out with?"

I chuckled again. "Yeah, him. He punched Rick."

"Wow! I never liked Rick, he didn't know how to write an essay that wasn't about hockey and even those weren't good! Is Kyle in trouble?"

"No, I don't think so. He just walked away."

"Well, Rick probably deserved that! See, I knew people would have your back. Oh, I gotta hit the studio. I'll talk to you tonight."

"Alright, bye Britt."

The next week, my mom knocked on my door late at night while I was finishing up homework. I told her to come in.

She sat down on my desk chair. I never used my desk for homework, I always did homework on my bed; there's more room.

"Have you seen my favorite green shirt?" She finally said after rifling through an assortment of graded or unfinished assignments strewn across my desk.

"That puke green one with the ruffles?" I asked, looking up from my calculus textbook. She had a look of confusion on her face, she rarely lost track of clothes and laundry, she was always pretty on top of it.

Except, I knew something she didn't. I did look through my parent's closets like I told Brittany I would. Granted, I was a little apprehensive at first. I didn't want to find something that I wouldn't want my own future kids finding of mine. Luckily, if they had anything like that, they hid it somewhere better. I probably purged their closets of anything that was likely not made in this century. My dad's polyester suit was the first thing to go. The thrift shop was happy to take such a generous donation!

"It's forest green and yes," she said, still with the same confused and dazed expression. "And dad was looking for his favorite tie and he couldn't find it either! I just feel like we don't have half of our clothes!"

My dad's favorite tie was this God-awful black and white paisley tie. He probably wore it at least twice a week, although I had given him a million nicer ties as a hint to retire the paisley but he never did. He claimed the black and white color matched every shirt. It matched none.

"That's because you don't," I said under my breath.

"What?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise," I bull-shited, chewing on my pencil eraser. "The universe is trying to tell you that it's time for a clothing cleanse by hiding all of your clothes. You and dad! Umm, maybe we can go shopping sometime?"

"Okay," she said, still frazzled over her 'missing' clothes.

I shrugged and half smiled. I went back to looking at the grueling integral that I'd been trying to solve for the past 20 minutes. I finally figured out what I had been doing wrong and solved it before realizing that my mom hadn't left my room yet.

"Ma?" I asked. She was looking thoughtfully at nothing in particular.

"I'm going to let you go with Brittany to meet her family," she finally said.

I flashed a wide smile of disbelief. "You are?!"

"On one condition."

"Anything, Ma."

"I don't want to sound like one of those parents, but I want you to text me when you get there, when you leave, and if anything happens. I'll abandon the hospital and come get you."

"Mom, I will be fine. I promise. But I will. Definitely."

"I know." She smiled.

"I don't want to change your mind again but why did you change your mind?"

"Your father. He told me to put myself in your shoes." I laughed to myself, what a sly fox giving the same advice to both me and her. "And it is Brittany's birthday. How old is she turning again?"

"22."

"Should we be getting her something? Is it our place?"

"Um, if you think you should. I know she doesn't expect anything, even from me. You know? She's just very gracious. How about, if you see something that you think she would absolutely love, get it but don't actively go out and try to find something. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense. Have you got her something?"

"I have my eye on a few things. I'm not sure yet. There's these earrings…"

"I'm sure a great part about dating a girl is knowing that whatever they get you won't be ugly."

I laughed, I had seen some of the jewelry my father has given her. Some is great but others… not so much.

"Yeah, among other things. Well, I better finish these integrals and I have some lab calculations to do plus, I know Langley is giving us a killer sprint set tomorrow."

"I love you, Santana. And I'm so proud of you."

"Well, thanks. I couldn't have done it without you. I love you too, Ma."

She kissed my forehead and left my room.

"What are you getting her for her birthday?" Ellie asked during a lonely weekday dinner.

"There's these gorgeous earrings that I saw when I passed by that jewelry shop on the strip next to Breadstix. And maybe something else, I'm not sure yet."

"Santana, that's so sweet. All I got Bryan for was a jacket and some chocolate. You're definitely superior in the romance department."

"Ellie…" I trailed off, consumed by my thoughts.

"Mhmm?" She questioned me.

"I love her."

She arched her eyebrows. "You do?"

"Yes, I'm certain. I've known since right after state."

"And you're sure? Didn't you 'love' Puck too?"

I shrugged. "Um, I'm not sure. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him, at least, I don't think so. I'm still kind of foggy on that relationship. But I know I am in love with Brittany. She's so perfect. Everything about her, even her flaws and quirks."

Ellie covered her mouth with a hand in mock shock. "Brittany Pierce has flaws?!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's stubborn, she rarely lets me pay, and argues with me on the stupidest of things, most of the time just because she wants to see how far she can push me. Like, the other day at the grocery store, I was trying to convince her to save money and buy the generic Lucky Charms in a bag but she wouldn't listen. She says it's not the same and there's more marshmallows in the name brand. And she's all over me, not in a wanky way, if my grammar is bad. God freaking forbid that I say "that" when I should have said "which"! But she's just so cute. She's always listening to Britney Spears or Christmas music, she says things and they're always so outrageous but so smart. She's chronically early to most everything. I just… I can't think about her without getting that little beat in my heart where it feels like it swells up for just a half a second." I paused to make sure Ellie was still listening to my rambling. "Do you know what I mean?"

Ellie gave me the funniest look. "Umm, no." She shrugged. "When are you going to tell her?"

"She's coming over tomorrow night because mom and dad will be gone to that medical conference in Columbus. I'm going to tell her then. You'll be at that party right, then staying at Blair's?"

"Yeah. Is Brittany staying the night?"

"Maybe, we'll see."

"You're still going to Canton to meet her family over spring break?"

"Yeah. I am definitely nervous about that. I'm even staying the night at their house. What if they don't like me?"

"Then they don't like you," she said with a slight half smile. "You're dating Brittany not her family... If they don't like you, it would be their loss."

I laughed. It did make sense but it didn't calm my nerves.

"Do you love Bryan?" I asked.

"No. I never feel my heart swell up like you said. Not yet anyway."

"Does he love you?"

"He tells me he does."

"And you say it back…?"

She sighed. "Yeah. I know it's bad because I know that it's like leading him on but I don't know what else to do. I do love him, almost."

"It's not like you can recant your 'I love you's, Ellie. However, I know that I would much rather they take an 'I love you' with a grain of salt rather than say it back because they feel obligated to."

"Oh, man. I feel so great about myself right now. It's not like I despise him, I'm just not sure. I'm still young, really young."

"Love is love, Ellie, it doesn't matter how old you are."

Tomorrow night finally rolled around, I was a hot mess of anxiousness and nerves. It had been awhile since we were able to have more than a coffee date and I was really missing her. I ordered take out and she came over early for dinner and we watched a movie. Halfway through though, we both predicted the ending and started talking.

"I think we should talk about something. The elephant in the room." I said, taking her hand.

"There's an elephant in here?!" She looked around the living room. I laughed.

"You're silly. But really. I think we should talk about our future."

"I've been thinking a lot about it, too."

"Look, I…I don't want to put any bias on your job decision just because I'll be at Brooklyn-Hale."

"But you are," she countered.

I gave her a shy smile. "Look, I want you to find a job somewhere that is good for you. Somewhere that offers you the best salary or whatever you need. Or even in Canton so you can be close to your family. But I also want to be with you. I don't want to speak for the both of us but I'm serious about this. About you and me."

"I am, too. I don't want you to worry about hindering my job choice. In the end, it will be my decision but there's always going to be other things that will factor into it. You happen to be one of them. But also, I haven't even had this interview yet and I haven't had any other interviews either."

"You will though," I assured her.

She shrugged. "Maybe. If not, I suppose I'd have to just stay here and work at the studio until I found one. But even if we don't end up in the same place, who says that we won't be able to make it work?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound optimistic. Although, I know that trying to juggle school and swimming with Brittany not being close by would be so hard. I figured if I was ever going to attempt to do that with anyone, it would be Brittany.

I interrupted the silence with a soft, "Brittany?"

"Yes?"

I looked straight into her piercing blue eyes.

"I love you." I said it. This was like coming out; there was no taking this back. When it comes out, it stays out. I couldn't say "Wait, just kidding! I didn't mean it" but I didn't need to. I did love her and I wanted her to know that.

She didn't let go of my hand, she just calmly kissed my cheek and said, "Thank you." I couldn't gage any other reaction from her.

Crap. Then I remembered my conversation just a day before with Ellie. Her not reciprocating, it was okay. She knew how I really felt and that's all that mattered.

The rest of the night wasn't awkward or anything. We still talked and kissed. I tried not to let on that I was upset that she didn't say it back. She left an hour later and I went up to my room, and changed out of my sweater dress that I was wearing and changed into a loose v-neck shirt and pajama pants.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring. I debated answering it; it was pretty late and I already under the covers in my bed. I ended up going downstairs after a half a minute of contemplation. I opened the door and saw the silhouette of Brittany, facing away from me, hands deep in her jacket pockets, looking up at the night sky.

I mention for the second time that Brittany has a younger brother. I know that canon Brittany actually has a sister that is a lot younger than her. I've realized that this story is just partly canon. I use some of the canon characterization and canon events and story lines but not nearly all since it is an AU. And honestly, I forgot about her little sister but once you meet Matt, you'll agree that he's a lot better than if Brittany had a little sister!

Anyway, what do you think?! Thanks a bunch for reading and thanks for the reviews!