A/n. so eclipse comes out soon.. who's excited? I know I am! I mean what can be better than going to see all the sexy werewolves on the big screen?

I know… going to see them for FREE! I just got an email saying that I get to go to an advanced screening of the movie. I'm excited I get to see it one day before it is officially released…. Arghhhhhh June 30th here I come! (f.y.i. it comes out here in new new Zealand on the 1st of july. So yeah I can count lol.)

Anyway, enjoy the chapter and let me know what you liked… and what you didn't. I shall try and fix it for you.

Jess xO

The world that we live in is full of both beauty and horror,

To everything full of bad, there lies good.

To everything full of good, there lies bad.

Its knowing this that enables us to breath, enables us to suffocate.

It lets us love and it lets us hate.

Its what keep's us alive, and what will kill us all….

Embry's pov

"Embry get up." someone was shaking me. I growled and lifted my head off the pillow to see Nathan standing in my room.

"what do you want?" I asked as I rubbed my eyes.

"Sam wants us to patrol." I groaned. I hadn't patrolled in about three weeks. Not since I found out that I had infact conceived two children with my imprint but one of them died before I knew about it. I rolled out of bed and walked to the edges of the forest before phasing.

Em, you're patrolling? Collin asked as if he couldn't tell it was me.

Yeap I replied lazily.

Ok cool. How are you? he asked.

I'm alright.

You sure even in your head you sound kinda… I duno, flat. Stupid kid pays too much attention

Hey!

Sorry, but its true.

Whatever I give up trying to talk to you. ever since you ran out on Izzy you've been an asshole. He growled as he phased back.

Stupid little fucker, next time I see him remind me to kill him. I muttered to Nathan who had just phased in.

Sorry dude, you know I love ya as a brother… but he's right. You have been an asshole. He replied quietly.

How fucking dare-

Oh shut it. you know we're right. I mean when was the last time you had anything to do with your baby. About three weeks ago? He replied angrily. When was the last time you even thought about your baby?

Every single fucking day. I think about my baby every single day. Almost every minute of every day, so don't even try to make me seem like I don't care about my baby! I shouted at him. I was sick of everyone telling me what to do. It was my life and I could do whatever the hell I wanted to with it. I ran patrol silently for the next three and a half hours. If I didn't talk to them, they wouldn't talk to me. I changed back to my human form as soon as possible. I was walking along the road when Sam drove past. He pulled over and opened the door for me.

"hey mate. Want to come over for lunch?" he asked as soon as I closed the door. I nodded while looking at the dull scenery out the window.

I sniffed the air and stiffened… she was here. I almost turned and ran away but Sam put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a look that clearly said 'if you run away you will die a very slow and painful death'. I groaned and started walking towards the house. When I got inside I wasn't able to move from the doorway. Izzy was sitting with her back to me at the dining room table playing with a plate of food. She sighed and I remembered how much I loved that sound…

and how cute she was…

and how much I lov- STOP! I couldn't think that. No matter how I felt I couldn't say it. Sam greeted Emily and asked Izzy how she was. I couldn't help but lean forward slightly hoping that she would be alright. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam and Emily glance at me.

"I'm fine." She replied in a very monotone voice. She didn't sound fine. She sounded awful.

"how's the baby?" Sam pressed. I held my breath.

"as good as ever." She said. I let out a relieved sigh. I saw her stiffen as if she had only just realized that I was there. she didn't turn around though. She stayed unmoving for about five minutes where she jumped out of her seat causing it to fly backwards before skidding to a stop a little bit in front of me. she rushed out of the room brushing past my arm. There was a bolt of electricity passed between us and I knew she felt it too. She held her breath and started running. We all stared after her.

"you asshole." Seth glared at me as he got up from his seat to follow her. I wasn't aware of doing it but next thing I knew I had Seth pinned up against the wall by his neck.

"don't call me an asshole." I growled.

"well you are! Cant you see what this is doing to her!" I dropped him and he fell to his feet. He shook his head at me before walking out and slamming the door behind him in the process. I just rolled my eyes and sat down. Both Emily and Sam were staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"what!" I snapped. Sam just shook his head and took a seat.

"that was uncalled for Em." Emily stated hands on her hips.

"what do you expect me to do? Sit there and do nothing while he insults me?"

"yes that's exactly what I expect from you. Remember you brought this upon yourself. She didn't choose this, and if you want everyone to stop calling you an asshole stop fucking acting like one!" she shouted. I sat there blinking at her stupidly. That was the first time I had ever heard Emily swear, (when she wasn't in labor) she was usually the one scolding us for swearing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout." She said quietly as she turned back to the stove.

Sam was glaring daggers at me for upsetting his wife. I shrugged and ate the plate of food Seth had left.

"Embry? Where the fuck are you?" Seth's voice echoed through the house. I stopped bouncing Christy on my knee and she pouted at me.

"don't repeat that, or your daddy will kill uncle Seth." I whispered to her. her eyes grew big and she nodded her head vigorously. I set her down on the ground. "go find your mom." I told her. she ran off happily singing to her self. Seth came into the room and paused when he saw me. he half ran across the small room and punched me square in the face. I felt the crunch of my nose breaking and the trickle of blood gliding over my top lip. He punched me again. the next time he pulled back his fist I pushed him away, maybe a little bit too hard as he went flying across the room. Emily walked in and screamed as Seth flew past her. Sam, Jared and Paul came running in after hearing Emily scream. Sam immediately rushed to her while Paul stopped Seth from lunging at me again. I was about to go smack Seth over when Jared caught me and pulled. My back hit the wall with a small thump and Jared had his arm pressed into my throat.

"leave it." he growled and pushed harder blocking my airways. I took a deep breath and my tremors stopped. Jared let go of me and I fell to my knees infront of Sam.

"outside now." He whispered and I saw Paul grab Seth again. Jared pretty much threw me out the door and I landed on my hands and knees in the mud. Sam walked over to Seth and gave him a good punch in the face and I knew I was next. He came over to me and punched me in the face. I felt my nose break again.

"that was for making a hole in my wall and for scaring Emily." Paul and Jared nodded in approval and I hung my head. I saw Seth do the same.

"now Seth," Sam started turning his back on me, "I want you to apologize to Embry for punching him no matter how big of an ass he was being."

"hey!" I interjected, but he just told me to shut.

"after Seth has apologized to you, I want you to apologize to him. and I don't want to break up another fight between you two." He started walking away but turned around when he got to the front door. "oh and Embry? Talk to Izzy for god sakes." With that he slammed the door behind him Jared and Paul following closely behind him.

"I'm sorry I punched you. twice." Seth said as he got up. "and I'm sorry I insulted you."

"it's alright Seth. I don't blame you. I deserved a good punch in the face. I have acted like an idiot and I don't know how to fix it." I said quietly knowing he would hear me anyway.

"you'll sort something out." Seth said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. he slapped me on the back and I found myself smiling for the first time since I ran away from Izzy.

I sat down on the sand and stared out at the water. I wanted to talk to Izzy, I really did. But what do you say to your pregnant ex? It's not like I can just roll on up and be like 'hey, I know you're pregnant with my baby and I've ignored you for the last three months because you lied to protect my feelings, but it's alright that I've been an ass because I love you.' yeah right she'd probably turn around and smack me over with a baseball bat. As I was thinking about how to make things right with Izzy, she had wandered onto the beach with Seth. She hadn't noticed me which is good. she was tugging on Seth's arm and pleading with him.

"no, absolutely not." He said shaking his head.

"please Seth? Please I really want to go swimming. Come with me, or I go by myself." She pouted then started smiling evilly. God she was so beautiful. She was just starting to show and I loved it.

"no Izzy, its freezing out there, you'll get sick." He was holding onto her` wrists as she stepped backwards. I don't think he realized that they were in fact heading into the water no matter what he said. The water pooled around their ankles and Seth dropped her wrists. Izzy laughed turned around and started to run further into the water. Seth yelled out to her then followed. he picked her up around the waist and started carrying her under his arm like a football. I growled subconsciously and Seth caught my eyes. He shook his head and put Izzy down on the ground sitting next to her. he put his arm around her shoulders and I fought the urge to go rip his head off.

"so how are you feeling?" he asked her and glanced quickly in my direction, daring me to move and miss the answer to the question I had been wondering for the last two and a half weeks.

"alright I guess." She muttered her happy mood gone.

"I guess?" Seth asked glancing at me. I had run with him long enough to know that he was doing this for me. He really was a good kid.

"I just miss him you know." She said quietly. I almost ran over to her to wrap her up in my arms and never let go. Seth saw me twitching slightly and smiled.

"what are you smiling at?" Izzy asked touching his face gently. My smile disappeared and my vision was blurring red. All I could focus on was getting to the woods so that I didn't burst out of my skin on a public beach. I phased and Brady groaned at my thoughts. I went for a quick run to the Canadian border and back… okay so it took a couple of hours. I could hear the others talking about me in the back of my mind but I was too far away emotionally to pay any attention. When I got back to my house I collapsed onto my bed.

I sat stiffly against the couch. Izzy was sitting against the couch across the room, once again with Seth's arm around her shoulders. I was trying my hardest not to look at her. I couldn't help it though it was like I was drawn to her… oh, wait I was.. damn imprint.

She was leaning back comfortably, her hands resting on her stomach, talking baby stuff with Kim.

"do you know what you're having yet?" Izzy asked her. Kim smiled and looked back at Jared before stating, "girl, we're having a girl." Izzy smiled and patted her hand.

"that's great hun." She was smiling, but couldn't quite hide the glint of jealousy in her eyes.

"what about you? do you know yet? Or are you going to keep it a secret?" Kim asked Izzy leaning back into Jared's chest.

"no I don't. I was going to find out last week but the baby turned away."

"Aww that's too bad. So is it going to be a surprise or are you just going to find out next time?"

"it depends…" she trailed off and looked down at her hands. I saw Kim glance at Seth and then back at Izzy.

"Embry…" Izzy said quietly. She took a deep breath before raising her head to look at me. "do you want to know the sex of the baby or would you not like me to tell you?" I was shocked to say the least… she spoke to me… directly! Maybe I'm getting over excited for nothing but SHE SPOKE TO ME!

"uh… y-yeah um… I want to know." I stuttered. She nodded politely and looked the other way. I felt rejected. She avoided looking at me for the rest of the night.

Halfway through dinner she gasped. I was by her side in a second.

"what is it? what's wrong?" I asked pressing my hand gently against the small of her back.

"the baby kicked." She said staring down at her stomach in wonderment.

"are you sure? I'll take you to the doctor anyway just to check nothings wrong." I pulled her to her feet and she laughed at me.

"Embry calm down, I'm fine. Here feel." She grabbed my hands and placed them on her bump. I got tingles on my skin where she touched me and I knew she could feel it too. I waited with my hands on my imprint and just as I was about to pull away, I felt it. it just a tiny nudge against my hand but it was there. I looked up at Izzy a huge smile growing on my face. there were another couple of nudges.

"the baby must like you." Izzy said. I dropped to my knees infront of her just staring at the bump that contained my child. Izzy put her hands over mine, holding me to her. after a couple of seconds she flinched. She stepped back and I stood up.

"Are you okay?" I took a step towards her but she backed away again. she looked like she was about to cry.

"Izz?" I said softly, "Izzy, what's wrong?"

"n-nothing I'm f-fine." She took a step towards the door.

"sorry Emily, I cant stay." She ran out her hand cupped over her mouth and nose.

"what did you do?" Seth asked coming in from patrol and grabbing food.

"nothing,… I did nothing…"I told him quietly. I was rejected by my imprint and the mother of my child… again. It hurt, it hurt bad.

"Em honey, are you okay?" Emily asked putting her hands on my shoulders squeezing them gently.

"uh… yeah, I'm good. I'm just gonna… go… now."

"if you need anything, we're here." She said.

"thanks." I mumbled and ran out the door. I phased as soon as I hit the woods. I ran to the waterfall where I had taken Izzy the day I asked her out. it didn't seem as beautiful now as it did back then, maybe that was because Izzy wasn't there…

I hadn't seen Izzy since she ran away from me at Emily's. That was a week and a half ago. And no one will tell me how she is, they just tell me to go ask her myself. I would but, I can't seem to find the right way to apologize. I figured that I would just have to wing it… okay… here goes nothing…

A/n. hey guys just wanted to do a quick (or not so quick) shout out to some awesome people.

Lovably17, Caleb's babe, Dancer96, Flaca514, gothygurl, HPxTWLIGHTxoxoo, Keepersblood, laura1635, lilcutieissa, Mrs. Brianna Emmet Cullen, Retarded Retard -x-, Team-LaPush-Werewolves, Twilightaholic1996, twilightreader04, bl-angelbaby, blazeyjamie1987 and last but not least, ShadowClaw21.

Thanks so much guy's it really means a lot that you are getting alerts or have favorited (and in some cases both) my story. If it weren't for you guys I probably wouldn't be writing it.

As always let me know what you think. There will be a mention (or a special character in the next chapter for the person that leaves the twentieth review (: (and no you can't leave a whole bunch of reviews just to be number twenty… lovably17 I'm talking to you… you know you would have asked lol)

Jess xO

(p.s. sorry about the long A/n. but if you review I will remember to keep it short. )