A/N: I know it's been a long time since I updated but this has been such an uninspiring bunch of weeks that even getting this out felt like pulling teeth and I'm no dentist!
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.
Last Time:
Oh my God what if the fact that I was teased is the reason that he never came out of the closet?Maybe he got scared he would be bullied after seeing how I was treated and so he buried the fact that he was gay under years and years of frustration and pain?I MIGHT BE THE REASON SASUKE UCHIHA HASN'T COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!
Or he could be straight.
I need to find someone with a gaydar!
Well to be correct a gaydar that works. After Ino's Sai debacle (really even I knew that guy bats for the other team what with all the talk of penises) I don't trust her gaydar.
That's decided tomorrow I'm going to call him, I'm going to call... "
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Ever since she was a little girl, Mikoto had always known that people underestimated her. When she was young it bothered her that everyone was surprised when she surpassed most others but as she grew up she realised how much more power she wielded over them by being underestimated. She used it to her full advantage and it had resulted in the attention of Aphrodite being lathered upon her. The goddess of love had rather a penchant for as consummate a woman as Mikoto was. That she was able to see through enchantments and was immune to spells made her a perfect companion for the goddess and her loyalty was rewarded. Even now Fugaku had no idea that for all his many connections, Mikoto had friends in much higher places than his would ever be in.
She soon realised though that she had lost this element of surprise when it came to her sons, mainly the elder one. While Sasuke still maintained a slightly protective attitude (albeit unnecessarily so), Itachi was not so easily fooled by her innocent act. It made sense though after all Itachi did take after her quite a bit while Sasuke was rather like his father. It saddened her that the social awkwardness might have been hereditary.
But as much as it entertained her to see them in such confusion, they were still her sons. And so it was with their best interests in mind that she had asked Cupid to help her out a bit.
And if she got amused along the way then so be it.
"Okaa-san."
"Hello Sasuke-Chan!" Really that tick in his left eye was fascinating to watch.
"Do you-Um Have you met Sakura Haruno?" An eyebrow flew up as her son stumbled over words. It seems Sasuke had met his matchmaker, but how much did he know about it all she wondered.
A beatific grin broke over her face and Sasuke edged away from her a bit.
"Of course I've met Sakura-Chan! But I didn't realise you knew her!"Sasuke relaxed visibly.
"Yes well I met Itachi and her while they were out on a date..." Quickly deciding they had used that as a cover for stalking him, she looked at her younger son carefully and noted the slight blush on his face and decided he was hiding something from her.
"And?"
He hesitated before finally answering
"And she was in my class in kindergarten."The barely there blush on his face became almost visible and Mikoto smiled at the implications. It would be fun for Sakura, she thought, being fought over by the two famous Uchihas. She remembered her own experiences with Madara and Fugaku.
"Sasuke please inform your brother that Sakura is to join us for dinner this evening." If there was a spectacle in the making she was going to be in the front row.
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Sakura had found it was easier to concentrate when there was loud music blasting through your ears or while a slasher/zombie movie was playing in the background. In fact most of her studying for her exams last May had been done while watching The Resident Evil series loudly. So it was while softly head banging to the music of Deftones and writing her psychoanalysis of Sasuke Uchiha that her phone rang suddenly startling her and caused her to jump up saying 'My ass is vibrating!'.
"Hello?"
"Sakura, your presence is requested at dinner tonight."
"Who the hell is this?"
"..."
"Hello?"
"This is Itachi."
"How the hell did you get my cell number?"
"I'm an Uchiha."
"Oh and that allows you to invade someone's privacy like this?"
"Let me repeat and rephrase the former statement. My Mother humbly requests your presence at dinner this evening" Well aware of their mutual fear of his Mikoto Uchiha, Itachi used this to coerce her into attending what was bound to be an uncomfortable, quiet and very awkward dinner.
"Oh."
"Hn. I'll see you then."
"Wait, can I bring a friend?"
Her evening was ruined anyways; Sakura figured she might as well as get some work done.
"A friend?"
"Yes."
"Why?" The surprise in his tone made Sakura smile. She had made it one of her 'missions' in life to cause Uchihas to feel unexpected emotions. And if she was allowed to bring her friend along with her it would most certainly further her 'mission' a lot.
"He can help me."
"Hn."
"I don't speak the secret language of the Uchihas. You need to use actual words with me."
"Okay."
"Wonderful. Should I doll up?"
"If you wear something normal it would be better."
"By normal you mean?"
"Something not neon and/or multicoloured." Well that ruled out most of her wardrobe. Pity because she really wanted to wear her new neon yellow SpongeBob Squarepants tee. It matched her sneakers. And glowed in the dark which was always good considering the number of power cuts Konoha had been facing recently.
"So you want me to dress like an Uchiha? I never knew we were getting this serious in our relationship!" She said, sarcasm oozing from her voice.
"You're on speakerphone."
"I know. I can hear Sasuke stuffing his face with tomatoes and Mikoto-sama smirk."
" ... "
" ..."
"Of course you can. I'll see you this evening."
"Bye Itachi-Chan!"
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Itachi had no doubt that tonight was going to be a disaster. It had all the impending signs of doom. His mother was smirking , his brother was so nervous he was eating tomatoes every few minutes(at last count it was 10 tomatoes an hour) , his father was using facebook to stalk Sakura (he had to commend her for some very rigid privacy settings) to find out about the girl that Mikoto approved of.
So when Sakura showed up in a plain white racer back tank top and grey plaid hot shorts with studded suspenders paired with neon yellow heels he didn't bat an eye, although she looked like she stole a schoolboy's uniform and ripped it up a bit. He didn't bat an eye when she showed up on the arm of Deidara either.
"This is not what I meant by formal attire. And Deidara", He sniffed haughtily," Is not what I thought you meant by friend."
She sighed deeply and slung an arm around Itachi's shoulder, which she was only able to reach because of those towering heels.
"Look we both know that it's going to be awkward as hell. So let's try to have some fun with it. That way your mother will be happy because we're keeping her entertained and this guy," she nodded and pointed her thumb at Deidara who was ooh-ing and aah-ing over the mansion," Has an unbelievable gaydar which will undoubtedly be very helpful in our mission. If worse comes to worse we embarrass Sasuke by saying that we thought he and Deidara would hit it off. So you see it's a win-win situation."
"Sasori will not like that."
Apparently he and Sakura had friends in common. Why and how she was friends with a gang member like Akatsuki was beyond him though.
"Yes well I don't like Sasori .And who knows if Sasuke and Deidara do hit it off then not only will I be done with my assignment but Sasori will officially be dumped and I will get to watch the waterworks."
He proceeded to stare at Sakura who had an odd gleam in her eye and was grinning in a way that was very reminiscent of The Grinch (not that he had ever seen that movie. Of course not. Tch.) .He had the distinct feeling she was holding back an evil laugh not unlike the super villains in comic books.
"No wonder my Mother likes you."
She was still looking off into space and while staring at an abstract point (no doubt imagining Sasori's humiliation) she giggled.
"I would disagree but that would be lying."
That said she floated into the foyer while pretending to be a ballerina playing the role of the swan princess Odette.
"You should know she's hyper."Deidara said." Five pixie sticks and three cans of soda. And a whole lot of video games."
"How do you get hyper from playing video games?"
"It causes the dopamine levels in the brain to rise. It's kinda sad but she doesn't even get this whacked out of it when she's actually high."
Itachi wanted to ask Deidara when and why he had seen Sakura high but had to bite down the question and pull Sakura off of Sasuke whom she was glomping and calling Ducky in a breathy tone.
"Itachi."A cold voice said his name and Itachi flinched .Holding a squirming pink-haired girl under his arm with a red-faced Sasuke and giggling Deidara for company he turned towards the speaker.
"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Said...
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*Puppy dog eyes* Review please?
Oh and is anyone finding the shift in perspective confusing by any chance?