So I clearly don't understand the concept of updating regularly. Please forgive me! And thanks to every single one who reviews !I would reply to each one of them but I'm still in shock that I get any to begin with.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize .But the plot is mine .Oh well, something is better than nothing right?

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Last time:

Itachi wanted to ask Deidara when and why he had seen Sakura high but had to bite down the question and pull Sakura off of Sasuke whom she was glomping and calling Ducky in a breathy tone.

"Itachi."A cold voice said his name and Itachi flinched .Holding a squirming pink-haired girl under his arm with a red-faced Sasuke and giggling Deidara for company he turned towards the speaker.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Said...

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Onwards!

"Madara." The lack of the honorific for someone clearly much older than Itachi piqued Sakura's sugar addled mind. She knew that he was nothing but polite and appropriate and it seemed odd then that he would talk in such a sullen (for an Uchiha) tone with someone. "Did Okaa-san invite you?"

The man known as Madara smirked. Slowly the haze of being deliriously happy was fading from her mind and the drunken smile on her face was leaving as well. She was reminded then, that she didn't really want to be there and Itachi was still holding her under his arm like a basketball. It didn't appeal to her (though he felt very nice and warm).

"You can let go of me now." Without looking away from Madara, Itachi set her down on the ground gently. Dusting herself she looked up to see that while Itachi was still glaring at Madara, the older man was looking at her with a bit too much interest for her to be comfortable.

"My dearest nephew, "The sickly sweet drawl sent shivers down her spine."You have yet to answer my question. Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Sakura this is my uncle Madara. Madara this is Sakura," He paused but knew what he had to say. Sakura would have liked to think that if he had been anyone but Itachi Uchiha he would have twitched."My girlfriend."

And so it was that Sakura found herself bare to the scrutiny of many Uchihas at their mahogany dining table while Itachi sat next to her in a stony silence.

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Being a pessimist had a lot of perks. As Sasuke had once heard it being put, you're either always right or pleasantly surprised. And he liked the fact that with his life, it was usually pleasantly surprised (though being right was something that came very naturally to him as well especially when involving his fan girls).

But even he couldn't have predicted this. While barely 10 minutes ago Sakura had been climbing up his head and calling him Ducky-Chan, here she was now seated between Itachi and him with the straightest face he had ever seen on her, stiff backed and right across Madara.

Their father had often told them how he and Madara had wooed their mother and of course the best man won. But considering the way his mom smirked through the tales of how she was regaled, Sasuke had often wondered if Mikoto-Sama had just been stringing them along for her own entertainment.

Probably not.

"So Sakura what exactly is it that you do." His father was the one who asked but it was Madara who seemed to be hungry for the answer (and hungry for other things as well). Naruto said it best when he described the man as a #$*ing creepy paedophile. The only person Sasuke knew who could surpass Madara was Orochimaru. The thought of the way that man looked at him sent shivers down his spine.

His shiver caught Sakura's attention and she turned to ask him if he was okay and he swore he could see a halo around her pink hair and shook his head to clear it. Turning his head away he let his hair cover his face and muttered an 'I'm fine. 'She turned to his father and answered his question. Not that Sasuke heard the words she said. It all just sounded like a tiny bell chiming.

Sweet, sweet Sakura. Why did she have to be with his Aniki? To finally find her again after all these years only to lose her to his own brother! How had his life turned into such a soap opera? It seemed as if the fates had been conspiring against him.

And so it was that Sasuke realised he spent way too much time with Neji .And Naruto.

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My assignment that sucks part ceithre

(Google translate says that ceithre is four in Irish. All hail the Great Google Gods!)

So, had dinner with the Uchihas today. It was not fun. Their uncle Madara had been invited and he creeps me out. I mean seriously people that creepy should not be allowed to frolic around in public. They're evil. If there's one thing I've learnt from The Dark Knight it is to never trust a man that giggles.

Seriously he giggles. Imagine the Joker without any make-up .Now imagine him as an Uchiha. So you see if you put that diabolical, megalomaniacal not to mention pure evil mind in a normal Uchiha body you get Madara.

Maybe I should start at the beginning.

See I got really, really hyper on sugar and coke(the fizzy beverage not the illegal drug) and then Dei-kun picked me up and we made our merry way to The Uchiha Mansion and I was all psyched cause I figured eh None of us really wants to be here might as well as go crazy and scare some people. And so I was like crazy happy and then my thoughts of Sasori suffering were interrupted when this mad cold voice started talking. It was so cold I sobered up like someone threw a bucket of water on my head. But then he saw me right, (by 'he' I mean Madara just so you know) and the next thing I know he's all purring and stuff.

So CREEEEEPYYYY!

And I think he tried to kiss my hand like they do in the movies and be all "Enchante Mademoiselle" but Itachi and Sasuke saved me and said that I wasn't feeling all too well and swept me away so I could splash some water on my face.

So after my mood to part-ey was totally ruined I realised that I had forgotten where I had left Deidara and Itachi said "He'll be fine. Now drink some water." And thrust a glass of water in my face. As if water is the answer to all the problems in the world.

And then after I was sufficiently calm and did not feel the urge to call Sasuke Ducky again we went and sat down at the table. And of course I was right across Madara. Because that's just how my life works.

So we're all at the dining table and it's quiet. Even Deidara was quiet. Which is saying something. I expected him to have blown up something in the room by then.

Mr Uchiha (Sasuke and Itachi's father) asked me what I did.

His exact words:"So what exactly is it that you do Sakura?"

I hate that question. I mean how do you answer that question? Oh nothing just the usual you know eat sleep drink plan your destruction and then sleep some more. Of course in my case it would be more along the lines of eat sleep drink stalk your younger son while your elder one breathes down my neck and try to avoid your wife at all costs while still doing my job of making people fall in love.

Wow that was a mouthful. Not that I'm actually saying it. Okay so yeah I am saying it .How do you not say it out loud I mean really how else would you get all the tone of voice and everything down?

Wow I have issues with staying on track.

Anyways he asked me what I do and Sasuke shivers next to me and when I ask him if he was okay he said I'm fine and looked down into the table. I figured he was just embarrassed about me calling him Ducky of course Deidara had a different opinion about it but that comes later on in the story.

So I tell him that I graduated early a bunch of years early cause of my super photographic memory and so I'm done with college and all so taking some time off before venturing into the real world. Of course I made it sound all smart and logical stuff back then but whatever. Right now I don't care.

And so the entire time all that was happening was Fugaku interrogated me while Madara seemed a bit too interested in all of my answers and praised me a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot! He just kept on leering and every time he looked in my direction I felt like hiding behind Itachi who to his credit did his best to make me feel comfortable.

That's a nice thing about Itachi. He makes me feel safe.

Unless he's driving.

At the end of the disastrous night Deidara and I walked back. Itachi had offered to drive us back but I needed to talk to Deidara anyways so we walked it back.

Because while the night had been absolutely and utterly horrendous it had been expected to be awkward. I did not expect Deidara to be so quite or to even know Itachi for that matter.

After a while of walking in silence I asked Deidara what he thought of the night and what his opinion of Sasuke was. He laughed and said, "You know you're the densest person in the world. That boy is straight and not only is he straight he has the biggest crush on you ever! I swear he was one second away from propping his chin up on his hand and heaving sighs every two seconds all the while staring at you like you're a gift from God and you didn't even notice!"And then I got home and had a lot of sugar.

I suppose that's the biggest problem here isn't it? It seems like the main issue of this assignment is that I just am not able to focus on Sasuke! It's like every time I even get close to the thought of a breakthrough with him something comes up and grabs my attention .On a certain level it seems like divine intervention which given that I work for the God of intimate love isn't really that far off. I suppose everything I do is really divine intervention in a way.

But this case needs divine intervention from the Gods themselves.

I think I need to talk to Cupid again. Le sigh .

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