Chapter Thirty-Two:


Rogue closed her eyes, lifting her face towards the sky, letting the warm evening breeze caress her cheek softly. Nights in New Orleans reminded her of nights back in Caldecott, sitting out by the bayou, the humid air wrapping around her like a blanket.

But there were differences, and notable ones at that. The aroma of the city, the unique mingling of spices and smoke from the French Quarter with the salt air from the bay, wafted through the air, tingling her senses with each breath of air she took. Caldecott had been a smaller town, quiet and simple. New Orleans was the complete opposite. From the rooftop of the LeBeau mansion, she could see the intricate web of lights weaving across the city below, could hear the distinctive sounds of laughter and jazz music in the distance.

And, of course, there were the stars. The streetlamps below created a hazy sort of glow across the sky, making the stars seem all that much brighter and intense. Rogue had forgotten how brilliant the stars got the further south you went.

Irene used t' tell me t' make a wish on the first star Ah saw every night when she sent me off t' bed, she thought with a sad smile. She'd never really believed much in the power of wishing, but she'd gone along with it anyway, for Irene's sake. Ah used t' wish fo' simple things. Like findin' out who mah parents were, or that Irene would let me get a puppy.

How different things were now.

Now, if she were to wish for anything, she'd have to make a list about a mile long. She'd wish for all of the X-men to be alive and safe. She'd wish the mansion back. She'd wish that humans would accept mutants. She'd wish for her mother to give up her terrorist ways and try to be a real mother to her and Kurt. She'd wish for Magneto to abandon his crusade. she'd wish for so many things that were wrong in her world right now to be right again.

But if she could only have one wish, it would be for closure.

Losing the others hurt. It hurt like hell. Some days she still felt like her soul was being torn out of her body when she thought about them. But it had been months and months since the day her world had come crashing down around her, and they had yet to find even a trace of the survivors.

If there were any.

As painful as it would be to learn that they were all dead, that she was the last of the X-men, it was nothing compared to the agony of not knowing. Death she could accept, she could deal with it and move on. She would mourn them, of course, Lord how she would mourn them, but she would move on eventually.

Not knowing, living every day with the faint flicker of hope, and still finding nothing, was killing her.

Drawing her legs up to her chest, Rogue wrapped her arms around her knees and gazed up at the sky, her chest tight with anguish. "Ya'll best be alive, ya hear me?" she whispered out at the stars. "Ya hafta be. Ah dunno what Ah'll do if ya ain't. Ah..." she swallowed hard, tears blurring her vision. "Professor, Ah need ya help. Ah dunno what t' do. Ah'm not Scott, Ah can't do this on mah own."

Her throat burned at the mention of her fallen leader.

Quit whining, Carol snapped. You're acting like a child. Geez. You aren't alone, in case you've failed to notice. The two of us are stuck with one another.

Oh, thanks, Rogue thought bitterly. Ah feel so much better now.

Shut up, Carol growled.

Ya shut up, Rogue retorted.

I will if you will.

Fine.

Fine.

They both fell silent for a long moment, and Rogue could sense that Carol was just as uneasy as she was. Biting her lip, she tried to think of something, anything, to say that might make the tension between them soften, at least a bit.

Although she wasn't sure that was possible. After all, she had absorbed the girl.

If we find the Professor, Rogue said hesitantly. He might be able t' figure out a way t' fix this mess. T' get ya mind outta mah head an' back in ya own body.

Carol was quiet for a long time, and Rogue was beginning to think she wasn't going to reply, but then she spoke, in a tone just as quiet as Rogue's had been. Do you think he really can? Do you think he can put me back in my own body?

Ah dunno, Rogue told her honestly. Ah hope so. He's a telepath. Real powerful one at that. If anyone can find a way t' make things right, it's him.

Maybe no one can, Carol said in a weak, frail voice.

Rogue's heart constricted. The idea of having Carol in her head for the rest of her life was daunting, but the idea that Carol might never be free of the prison she'd created for her, that she might never get to live her own life ever again, was heartbreaking.

We hafta believe that it's possible, Carol, Rogue said gently. We can't give up hope. If we find the Professor, he'll find a way t' fix this. Ah promise he will. He'll figure somethin' out if we can find him.

You mean when we find him, Carol said quietly, but with determination in her tone.

Rogue couldn't help smiling. "Yeah," she agreed aloud. "Ah mean when we find him."

Another pause, then Carol said, My brother and I used to stargaze, too.

Really? Rogue asked, surprised. Carol hadn't volunteered personal history like this before.

Yeah, Carol replied. Back home in Boston, we used to sit outside on the deck together and try to find constellations.

Sounds like ya'll got along real well, Rogue commented quietly, a pang stirring in her chest at the thought of her own brother, whom she'd never gotten to grow up with.

Brothers can be pests, though, Carol warned her, wrinkling her nose. They get so damn overprotective, too. Yours would probably kill Gambit the first time he saw him kiss you.

Rogue chuckled. Ah imagine he would.

"Rogue?"

Startled, Rogue jerked her head up in surprise and glanced back into the shadows behind her. "Oh," she said when she saw who it was. "Hi."

Jean-Luc smiled faintly as he crossed the roof to stand a few feet away from her. Rogue wondered if Remy had told him about her powers, and about how she was still uneasy when people got too close to her. From the way he glanced at the space between, she figured he had.

"Didn' mean t' scare you, Mademoiselle," Jean-Luc said with a lopsided smile that reminded her of Remy. She would never have believed that the man wasn't Remy's real father if she didn't already know.

"Ya didn't," she assured him with a rueful smile. "Ah was jus' surprised. Usually mah sixth sense would have picked up on ya b'fore ya got this close. Ah guess Ah was jus' distracted is all."

Jean-Luc nodded. "You have a lot on yo' mind, non?"

What I wouldn't give to hear someone speak without a Cajun accent, Carol moaned.

Rogue knew what she meant. It was strange to hear nothing but Cajun voices around her all the time. Then again, she kind of liked it. It reminded her of Remy.

"Yeah," Rogue answered. "Lot o' things t' think through an' all."

"Dat's t' be expected," Jean-Luc replied. He tilted his head to the side slightly, glancing at her appraisingly. "Remy tells me dat yo' Institute was destroyed?"

Rogue nodded, her throat tight. "Yeah."

"Dat was several months ago, non?"

"Yeah."

"An' dis Magneto, he looked fo' de rest o' yo' team?"

"T' no avail," Rogue replied sadly. "He wasn't able t' find even a single trace o' them past the ground o' the mansion."

"Did you know dat Remy has been lookin' fo' dem?"

Rogue blinked. No, she hadn't known. "He has?"

Jean-Luc nodded. "Oui. Since de night you two arrived. He's been usin' all o' de available Guild resources t' try an' track dem down, but we haven't been able t' turn anyt'ing up yet."

"Ah didn't think ya would have," Rogue admitted. "The X-men are real good at stayin' outta sight when we hafta. The first thing the Professor would do is conceal their location. An' trust me, if Xavier doesn't want ya t' find him, ya won't find him."

"Dat's what Remy hinted at," Jean-Luc agreed with a shrug. "Don' mean dat he gon' stop tryin'." He raised his eyes to meet hers evenly. "He cares fo' you a great deal."

"Ah know," Rogue said quietly. "Ah care fo' him, too."

"Dat's good, I'd hate t' see de boy suffer amour non récompensé."

Rogue snorted. "Somehow Ah doubt that's possible. Remy'd find a way t' charm any woman in t' lovin' him eventually."

"Dat what he did t' you?"

A faint blush colored her cheeks, so she just shrugged in reply.

Jean-Luc smiled, then turned to gaze out at the city below. Rogue watched him out of the corner of her eye, wondering what he was thinking. A moment later he told her. "De city, she is très beau, especially at night."

"It really is," she agreed.

"When Remy tol' me 'bout yo' family," he said, keeping his gaze trained on the skyline. "I did some checkin' 'round fo' you. I had some o' our contacts look in t' matters up in Caldecott."

Rogue titled her head up to look at him, anxious for whatever news he might have. "Did ya find Irene?" she asked softly.

Jean-Luc gave a curt nod. "Oui. We did." He looked over at her, his dark eyes sympathetic. "Je suis desole, Rogue, but she was killed," he informed her gently. "Three months ago."

Rogue's eyes widened in horror. "She..." she swallowed hard, her mouth going dry. "How?"

"Somehow she was discovered t' be a mutant," he replied quietly. "Dere was a bit o' confusion as t' how she was found out, but apparently she was killed by one o' dose mutant huntin' robots."

"Sentinel," Rogue mumbled, tears welling in her eyes. She closed her eyes for a long moment, absorbing what he'd just told her, forcing down the sorrow and grief that swelled in her heart. It was surprisingly easy to do so, after having already mourned the deaths of so many friends. Maybe losing Scott and Bobby and the others had taken some of the sting out of death. She didn't know. She just knew that the fierce throbbing in her chest began to ease until it was just a dull ache. Then she looked up at Jean-Luc, her green eyes shimmering slightly. "Thank ya," she said softly, unsure she could keep her voice steady if she spoke any louder. "Ah needed t' know."

Jean-Luc nodded. "I wish dat dere was more I could do fo' you."

"Ya'll have done more than enough," Rogue assured him with a weak smile. "Ya gave me a place t' stay, clothes on mah back, food t' eat. Ya even tried t' find mah family fo' me. Ah really 'preciate that. All o' it."

"T'ink not'ing o' it," Jean-Luc told her. "It's our pleasure. Not everyday dat my son brings home a girl dat's stolen his heart. We're happy t' have you, because you make him happy."

"Thanks," Rogue replied softly. "Remy makes me happy, too."

"Den why is it dat you still look so sad?" Jean-Luc asked gently.

For a moment Rogue bit her lip uneasily, then she decided it couldn't hurt to tell him the truth. After all, Remy had most likely already told him everything anyway. "Ah jus' feel so lost," she confessed in a whisper. "Mah whole life, Ah've always wanted t' know who Ah am. Who Ah really am. An' now that Ah know, Ah would give it all back in an instant jus' t' have mah family back."

"Yo' homesick?" Jean-Luc asked knowingly.

She offered him a trembling smile. "Can't be homesick when Ah ain't got no home, now can Ah?" she asked, then turned her gaze back to the sky overhead. She heard quiet footsteps, signaling that Jean-Luc was leaving to give her some privacy, but they stopped a moment later.

"Rogue?"

"Yeah?" she asked, not turning to look at him.

"Jus' so you know," Jean-Luc told her quietly. "You do have a home. Here. Wit' my son. An' wit' us, if you wan' it."

Rogue smiled. "Thank ya."

Jean-Luc nodded, then slipped back into the shadows and disappeared, leaving her alone with her thoughts.


Translations:

amour non récompensé- unrequited love
je suis desole- I am sorry