Warnings: More pop references, a bit of WAFF and some language issues
AN: An issue came up while I was writing this chapter (and the following ones). I had originally named Cloud's aspects as Cloud, Spike, the Corporal, Weirdo and Raincloud, but Cloud isn't a part, he's the whole. Plus the way he was acting just wasn't Cloud-like so I've retroactively renamed the aspects Niisan, Spike, the Corporal, Weirdo and Raincloud. Sorry for the confusion.
Chapter 15 : Moving Sideways
Dawn was barely a hint on the horizon and Nanaki had finally fallen silent; no more questions, no more theories, no more anything. It seemed even his curiosity had its limits. Or maybe it was a physical thing. They were in rough territory and the Gi had been active since before dawn. He was nearly as old as Vincent would have been. Perhaps he was just tired.
Vincent didn't care. He would use the quiet to decide on a course of action.
From a mission perspective, his first priority should be to talk to the General and brief him on Chaos, Omega and the end of the world. Although Lucrecia's presentation didn't indicate that Omega was going to emerge, Vincent realized that his piece of the picture was very, very small. He had barely a day's data, most of it gossip and speculation on which to create a hypothesis. The General would certainly have better information and Vincent's bit could be the one to solve everything.
From a personal perspective, he needed to figure out if he should tell Sephiroth that he was the man's father. Just the thought of it, of what he'd missed, caused a stab of pain to run through him.
He would have fought harder for her… if only she'd told him.
Maybe he should put all that aside and concentrate on the mundane, things he could predict and control the outcome of.
He'd need food today. All this unusual activity was burning up reserves that would have lasted him weeks in his coffin. It took energy to contain his beasts and, the more he drew on his own body for fuel, the shakier his control of them became. He was to spar with Ms. Lockhart this morning. He'd agreed to it so he would do it, but he'd feel more confident if he had better control of himself. He didn't want Galian or Gigas or, gods forbid, Hell Masker, taking over while he was in camp. Too many questions, too much destruction. He didn't need any more deaths on his conscience.
He'd have to risk the Mess Tent and hope they had something he could stomach. He could digest almost anything, of course, Hojo and his beasts made sure of that but, after being aware during some of the others' feeding times, he couldn't tolerate the idea of eating anything that bled. However, a breakfast meal, even for soldiers, would likely have eggs and bread and such like. He could eat those.
He let his mind drift; hearing nothing but the soft pad of Nanaki's paws over the uneven terrain, the clink of the metal buckles on his cloak, and the quick scurry of small animals clearing their path. In the distance, he could detect the faint outline of the camp despite the blackout precautions the ShinRa forces had taken. He couldn't hear the camp yet. Perhaps it was still too early for anyone other than the sentries to be active. Relaxing quiet. It reminded him of the state of emptiness he often obtained when at rest.
Was Sephiroth, Lucrecia's child, his son… was he resting with his friends close at hand? Was he sleeping, or was he awake listening to them breath just to reassure himself that they were real and alive? Did he reach out in the dark to tuck loose strands of hair away from sleep-softened features?
He'd done that with Lucrecia. She'd been beautiful and brilliant—
*–and manipulative and a liar. Don't forget that, my little Immortalis.*
'Chaos?' he sent the question inwards, 'Where have you been?'
*You sound like you missed me,* the voice was dryly amused.
Vincent ignored the comment. 'Something big happened or else you wouldn't have disappeared like that. What was it?'
*Such a surprisingly clever little biped. But I don't think you could understand what I know...*
Vincent recognized the prod. Chaos wanted to have the information coaxed out of him. It would be like Nanaki earlier but with insults and mockery. He stayed quiet, knowing that Chaos would tell him more if he waited.
*Events turn. Beginnings become endings which are beginnings. Choices and chances converge. Power fights power,* The demon was almost singing it. Vincent didn't consider that a good sign. *What shall I tell you, my Immortalis, my host, my own?*
'I am not so foolish as to answer,' the ex-Turk responded but it didn't shut his guest up. No, Chaos' sing-song babble of teases and hints continued without any input from Vincent. It almost made him wish for a return of Nanaki's straightforward questioning.
Once again, the journey was looking like it would take a long, long time. At least this time, he managed to contain his sigh.
"You have wings," Sephiroth repeated, "with hands."
Which was a really stupid thing to say, when he'd meant to say hello, but the silver-haired SOLDIER couldn't help himself. He'd assumed that Zack didn't have any mutations; that he'd somehow escaped the curse that Jenova's cells had passed on to the rest of the Firsts. Of course, this wasn't real; not quite a dream but not reality either, some in between place. Maybe he didn't have wings in the real world.
He didn't believe that. Zack had wings. With hands.
They weren't feathered, like the other Firsts' had been, but were made up of thin membranes. And they didn't soar up over his shoulders, like he'd gotten used to on Cloud, but stayed neatly folded beneath his shoulder. Actually, they reminded the General of the wings of a dragon rather than the raptor-like appendages SOLDIERs usually developed. They were also must disproportionally small to the rest of Zack's body if they could almost completely hide behind the Commander's torso.
He couldn't stop staring at the tip of one wing tip that peeked out above Zack's shoulder.
The small Turk placed a supporting hand on his SiC's arm. "What did you think of Zack's challenges, General?" she asked with a small smile.
"Challenges?" scoffed a nasal voice from behind Sephiroth, "Those weren't 'challenges' those were Zack just fucking with us all and proving he's completely bat-fuck." The red-headed Turk ambled into view and over to the counter with the beer.
"They were interesting," Sephiroth allowed the change of subject because they had been and his friend was obviously uncomfortable. "I sliced Hojo in half. And blew up Jenova. It was most satisfying."
"They'll come back," Zack said quietly, "They always do." There was relief in his voice. It almost made Sephiroth return the conversation to those wings, but he resisted. He would ask about them later.
"Hmm," the General said. "Are the challenges the same for everyone or do they vary from person to person?"
It was the little Turk who answered, "They change over time. Reno's gone through several times."
"So I forget my fucking password. If I didn't have such a shitty one…." he groused,
"Password?" Sephiroth interrupted, intrigued.
"Yeah, password. Use it and you come directly here." Reno lifted his beer to indicate Zack's church.
"You tell it to one of the gatekeepers—" Zack started.
"—not the Black Knight," Reno interjected.
"Yeah, not him—he never lets anyone past, but any of the others." Shuriken finished.
"The ones with the odd accents?" he clarified. They nodded. "So where do I get this password," he turned to look at his, hopefully, future-SiC, "and do I really want to know what it is?"
"You haven't given him one yet?" Reno asked incredulously. "Oh you gotta give him a good one."
Cissnei, that was the small Turks name, piped in, "Have you got any ideas?"
"I haven't had a chance, guys," the SOLDIER protested even as Reno's face lit with evil glee and he shot a conspiratorial glance at his fellow Turk. The two of them dragged Zack into a huddle, whispering and throwing mischievous looks at the General. He overhead Reno say 'it can't be cooler than mine' and Cissnei's dry response 'anything would be better than mine.' It had the flavour of an old argument and it didn't reassure Sephiroth in the slightest. He sighed in resignation and put the matter out of his mind, there was nothing he could do about it anyway.
Instead he watched the First… and his wings. Zack's position in the huddle had turned him slightly so that Sephiroth had a partial view of his back. As the discussion progressed and the First forgot to be self-conscious about them, his little wing hands uncurled and lifted to rest on his pauldrons. It was obviously their default spot. And the impatient tapping of one, long 'finger' was obviously its usual activity as it had created a small indent in the leather. While the one hand tapped out its impatient rhythm, the other was stroking anxiously through Zack's spiky hair—a familiar gesture made new.
Sephiroth watched enthralled with the size and delicacy of the appendages. Zack's Buster sword was slung in its customary place and Sephiroth was amazed the wings didn't get cut on the huge blade, but maybe they were small enough not to be in danger. They would barely reach the SOLDIERS wrists when fully stretched out. They were... cute. And they suited the bouncy First perfectly.
Why had he hidden them? It's not like the Commander would be alone with his wings. He knew Cloud had them. He knew Sephiroth had one. He had probably discovered that most of the other Firsts also had some sort of mutation since coming to the camp. The more Sephiroth thought of it, the more perplexed he became. He was preparing to ask Zack about it when the group spun toward him, faces lit with impish delight.
"We picked ya a perfect one, General," Reno said and Sephiroth instantly went on the defensive. "The phrase you say at the gate to come here directly is..." he paused dramatically which allowed Cissnei to take over.
"L'Oréal, because I'm worth it."
Sephiroth blinked in surprise, "I beg your pardon." He didn't recognize the phrase but it didn't sound that bad. There had to be a catch.
"That's your password," Reno almost rolled his eyes but remember in time just who he was speaking to, "L'Oréal, because I'm worth it."
"I did hear the phrase. I just don't understand the reference."
"You don't have to. You just have to say it," Zack explained, "They're just for fun, is all."
Reno sneered from behind his beer bottle, "Mine's fucking stupid."
"But it suits you," Zack defended.
"At least you don't have to sing yours," Cissnei complained.
Reno smirked, "True. I could have yours."
As if cued both Zack and Reno began to sing, "Fighting evil by moonlight. Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight." Everyone in the kitchen except Sephiroth and the small fighter joined in as they finished up with a roar, "She is the one named Sailor Moon!"
Sephiroth looked down at the young Turk questioningly. "It's the theme song for a stupid kids' show," She explained.
"You have my condolences." He turned to fix Zack with a stern eye, "I will not sing."
"He could've given me something more impressive," she complained, "Like Ripley from Aliens, she was kick-ass. Or maybe something sexy... Lauren Bacall in To Have or Have Not; You know how to whistle don't you, Steve? Just put your lips together and blow."
Reno whistled appreciatively, which made the diminutive Turk roll her eyes.
Sephiroth turned to the lanky red-head. "What is your password? If it's not impolite to ask."
Reno drained his beer and placed the empty on the counter. "Nah, I don't care. It won't work for you so it's no big secret." He dug into a pocket and pulled out his cigarettes.
"He gets to choose from four phrases," the small Turk grumbled.
"Yeah. I can say Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking," he took a deep pull on his cigarette, "or Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Umm… Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit, um, sniffing glue," oorrrrrr Looks like I picked the wrong week to... to quit... fuck!" He looked at the ceiling for inspiration.
"Idiot," Cissnei said, but with a dry affection, "to quit amphetamines."
"That's it. I always forget that one," he smiled lopsidedly, "not that I'd ever consider indulging in unauthorized substances." Zack and Cissnei rolled their eyes making the Turk chuckle unrepentantly.
"I recognize those," Sephiroth said with a frown, "You inflicted that movie on me shortly after we met."
"You enjoyed it!" Zack protested, "You snorted a couple times." One of Zack's wing fingers was pointing at him accusingly. Shaking in judgement like an adult to a child caught in a lie. Sephiroth's eyebrow went up. It seemed Zack's wings would be as expressive in their way as Cloud's were, despite their diminutive size.
"Their use of the language's confusing ambiguity was, on occasion, amusing. I agree." One little hand made a fist that pumped the air in triumph... another quintessential Zack gesture. It was very, very hard for Sephiroth not to smile in what he suspected would be a very dopey manner. He managed to contain it to a more normal smirk.
Then Sephiroth frowned. Reno's passwords suited him. The catchy tune and youthfully romantic lyrics of Cissnei's password suited her. How did his password suit him? "I don't know the reference used for mine. It doesn't make sense."
"Oh yours isn't bad. You should hear Tseng's." She rolled her eyes, "His is weird."
"Fuck yeah," Reno agreed enthusiastically, "What is it again? I know. You know. We all know we know."
A smooth, calm voice corrected him, "I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it."
"We're a very knowledgeable family," Sephiroth finished, the rest of the phrase having floated up from his memories.
Reno's mouth was open, "Fuck! How do you remember that shit?"
"Henry II was a great strategist and a good ruler," Tseng said.
"If he could've kept his libido in check he would have been the ruler of the whole Western Continent," Sephiroth added. "That was an excellent movie. I chose that one and made Commander Fair watch it in payment for having sat through another one of his intolerably junky films."
"Hey!" They ignored the SOLDIER's protest, just as they ignored the Turks' laughter.
"The password suits you, Tseng."
"Thank you, General," the Wutaian accepted, "So does yours in an odd way."
"You recognize it?" he queried.
"Indeed, it is—"
"Ramah's ass, General. You don't have to know where it came from. You just have to agree to use it," Reno exclaimed. Sephiroth gazed at the Turk with narrowed eyed. Reno was a very competent agent, intelligent, quick and notorious for his sense of humour. He was not to be trusted.
He moved his stare to his friend. Zack looked at him with his eyes super-wide and pleading. He was mocking his infamous puppy-dog look, but his face and his expression were too exaggerated to be honest. Unfortunately, there was also too much darkness, too much lost hope in his normally bright eyes to make it a true joke. Sephiroth nearly raised his hand to pet his friend's hair but stopped the impulse in time.
"What was the phrase again?" he asked. If it would make Zack happy...
"L'Oréal, because I'm worth it."
"Very well, I will use that as my password." There was a not-quite audible, not-quite physical 'click' somewhere. Sephiroth felt it inside him but didn't know what it was.
Zack grinned, the sad look mostly erased from his eyes. "Excellent. Reno you owe me 50 gil."
"Shit!" Reno dug in his pocket, "I was sure you'd never get him to accept it." They shifted to the side to complete the bet.
"You didn't have to, you know," Cissnei said, moving to stand next to the Silver General.
"I didn't have to what?"
"Accept the password. Tseng didn't. He picked his own."
"Excuse me?" One eyebrow went up. He focussed his acid-green gaze on his erstwhile friend who was busy counting the money he'd collected from his lanky cohort. His wing hands were bouncing excitedly on his shoulders.
"The password is actually optional," Tseng explained, "but once you accept it, you have to use it. I didn't accept the one Zack offered. Instead I chose one I liked better."
The small Turk piped in, "Rude doesn't even use one. He just stands at the gate and waits until the guards just let him in."
"And why wasn't I informed of this earlier?" His voice was deadly, smooth.
"It would spoil the fun," Cissnei smirked
Sephiroth frowned.
"By the way, General," Tseng said, "your password is from advertisements for a beauty company, especially known for their hair care products." The head Turk didn't snicker, didn't smile, there was no hint of amusement in his voice. In his eyes however... and the others in the room were chuckling outright.
Sephiroth growled. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Zack. He allowed Zack to tease him, and Cloud would have the same privilege when he recovered, but from the members of ShinRa's 'Administrative Research' he would have the respect he was due. They, the Turks, would've been the ones to investigate what happened in Nibelheim... and to cover it up, leaving Cloud and Zack in Hojo's hands. They would have killed Genesis and himself without regret or mercy. They were not his friends. They would never be his friends, and they would not be allowed to mock him. The General narrowed his eyes still further determined to discuss this with the SOLDIER First Class.
Zack seemed oblivious to his General's rising anger but one of his wing-hands, the one closest to Sephiroth, started poking the First frantically as if trying to get his attention. It worked because Zack looked up and over at his CO. His eyes widened in realization. He turned to face two-metres of pissed off warrior. "It's all in fun, Seph, I swear." The First swallowed nervously, a wing-hand massaged the back of his head, long fingers easily carding through the thick strands. "It's just... I wasn't expecting you to come here."
Zack stood before the angry swordsman in a mostly relaxed stance. He was maybe a little straighter than usual but there was no contrition in his posture, nothing to say he regretted the joke he'd played on Sephiroth.
Reno chuckled and told him to toss his hair 'like this' when he said the password. It didn't help the General's fraying temper.
His eyes could've lit fires, they were so bright. He was about to blister Zack with an opinion of his humour when he noticed his wings were hiding from him again. He tipped his head to look and the hands were nervously gripping and wringing each other. The dark joints were nearly white with tension. Tension, Sephiroth realized, that Zack wasn't displaying anywhere else.
Cloud's wings expressed his emotions when his body could not. Perhaps, with Zack, his wings expressed the emotions the SOLDIER would not.
Zack was speaking to him, his body was close, his voice low. "Honestly, Seph, I would've done something different if I'd known you were going to come to my house but I just figured we'd all show up near Cloud's, I guess. It never occurred to me... I think it's because we, y'know, were the ones to, um, connect... physically..." the First trailed off.
It made sense. Zack said he had first visited Cloud's house after he and the Corporal had been intimate the first time.
Cloud had been present, and had enjoyed their activities earlier this evening, but he hadn't had the physical connection the way he and Zack had. Sephiroth had used his fingers on his blond lover but that wasn't full penetration with an exchange of fluids. Maybe it had made a difference.
He couldn't stay angry at the SOLDIER; he wouldn't. He reached out a hand to grab his friend's arm, "It's all right, Commander. I came into your house, where your friends were. I should have known there would be some undignified silliness required," he teased gently.
"Hey," Zack protested, smiling softly. He settled fully on his feet and the wing-fingers climbed tentatively back to rest on his shoulders. They stayed close to the neck joint, ready to run back down and hide, the General thought, although one was tip-tip-tapping its way closer to where Sephiroth's hand rested.
"Why didn't you show them to me?" Sephiroth blurted out.
"What?" Zack's eyes widened.
"Your wings," Sephiroth raised his hand, slowly, until he was within touching distance. "Your wings have hands." He stretched out one finger in invitation and couldn't help but feel triumphant when the slim fingers latched on to it. An eyebrow went up. Zack's 'hand' had a very strong grip... and very sharp talons.
"Aw, fuck Seph, c'mon," Zack's tone said the problem was obvious. "Look at them."
"I am looking. I see nothing wrong with them."
"Yeah right," the SOLDIER scoffed bitterly, "Everybody else has feathers. White feathers, black feathers but feathers. Mine? They're small and weird and, and skin! They're ugly." As the First spoke, the little fingers loosened their grip on the General's finger and started to slide away, in shame, Sephiroth wondered, because Zack found them repulsive?
Sephiroth couldn't agree so he grabbed the hand before it could slip away and stroked it lightly with his thumb, tracing the long bones and strong tendons.
Sephiroth looked around the room. "Leave us," he commanded and with a terse nod Tseng made sure he was obeyed.
The General waited until he and Zack were alone in the room. "They are perfect for you. They are endearing and charming but they have claws and are not to be taken lightly. Lure and weapon combined. Like you." He ran soft fingertips down the SOLDIERs tan cheek. "No part of you is ugly to me." Zack shivered and the scent of his arousal filled the air around them.
Sephiroth smiled. The Commander could be remarkably easy to distract. "I originally thought they were dragon wings, but they don't fold—"
"They're like Jenova's," Zack said flatly, bitterly.
The General shook his head, "Jenova's wings had feathers—"
Zack snorted, "I saw them too. Remember? There were no feathers."
"Did it occur to you that two thousand years encased in mako might've made the feathers disintegrate?" Zack's mouth opened but no sound came out. "The piece of Jenova used in the sensitivity test came from a chunk of her wing that was ripped off when DGS forces retrieved her body for Hojo. They weren't careful with her..." Sephiroth frowned in sudden thought, "which is not in keeping with what we know of other Jenova-based creatures."
"What?"
Sephiroth waved it away with his free hand, but vowed to remember that little insight later. "No matter. The important thing here is that they do not look like Jenova's wings." Zack looked at him speechlessly. "Is that why you didn't show them to me?"
He pulled in a breath and released it, sneaking a glance at his commanding officer. "I thought, I thought it meant that I was closer to Jenova, more mutated or some shit. I know what happens to creatures with too much of that fucker's cells in them. I saw it in the lab." The First put his weight on his back foot, then shifted back again, arms folded defensively across his chest. "And if I did have too much of her infecting me then you'd have to send me away and I don't want to go." He raised bleak eyes, "I can't be alone anymore."
The General freed his hand from the wing so he could hold his friend's face in both hands. He held Zack still, looked him in the eye and promised, "Even if you were Hojo reborn, I would not abandon you." He pulled the dark-haired First to him in a hug. "It seems unreal to you now, but in time you will come to believe it."
They stood like that not counting the seconds until Zack broke the silence. "I'm turning into such a fucking angst baby," he whispered.
"It's allowed upon occasion," the General responded, holding his friend close, "Too many adjustments happening too quickly." Sephiroth had vowed to let Zack know how much he was valued once he had rescued his irrepressible friend. He knew it was moments like this that would reassure Zack; standing here quietly, letting the First hold him as tightly as he needed to, and ignoring all their other concerns.
Besides, he liked it too. He enjoyed the feeling of Zack's strong arms circling his waist and of small hands gripping his shoulders.
Finally, Zack drew a deep breath and gathered himself back into being a SOLDIER. He kept his head down for a moment, hand on hips. Only the small hands rubbing lightly on his eyes revealed his true emotions.
Yes, thought Sephiroth with a small smile, they suited Zack perfectly. "May I see them?" he asked.
"See... my wings?" The First looked up startled.
"Hmm," Sephiroth confirmed. "Their structure is familiar but I cannot place it." Puzzled, Zack turned around. "Can you remove your sword and stretch them out?" the General asked, and Zack did that as well. He flapped them and moved them around. The silver-haired warrior watched them, fascinated. They were much more flexible and mobile than any others he'd seen.
As he watched the muscles bunch and flex under Zack's uniform, he couldn't help but wonder if having wings made the skin as sensitive as Cloud's. He reached out a hand and Zack shivered in response. How... intriguing. Sephiroth's eyelids drooped in renewed arousal.
He was going to explore more but Zack spun, putting his back out of reach. "Yeah, none of that, General."
The silver-haired SOLDIER dipped his head in acknowledgment, looking up at his attractive friend, "Perhaps later then," he crooned and Zack quivered.
The First huffed out a breath, all his limbs in motion to release the sudden sexual tension. He'd almost forgotten that Seph could do that to him. "Let's go get Cloud," he said in exasperation.
"Good idea," the General conceded. "Can you get us to Cloud's house?"
"Oh sure, easy."
"Good, I don't like the idea that he's waiting for us to arrive and perhaps wondering if we are going to make it."
"Ah... he's not at his house. He's here."
Sephiroth stopped and glared at his SiC. Zack shrugged apologetically.
"He's here," He repeated in exasperation. Why hadn't Zack said so earlier?
"Well, Niisan is. He's probably on the stairs." He walked backwards to an entrance Sephiroth hadn't noticed before. "He doesn't socialize with the others much."
There was no point being angry with Zack. A lot had happened in a short space of time. It would all work out in the end. He would keep repeating those phrases until he finally believed them. "Does he have a password too," the General asked caustically.
"Yeah," Zack laughed softly, "it's more appropriate than I thought, considering where his parts have been hanging out."
"Well," the swordsman prompted.
"It's I see dead people."
"I see dead people." That was even worse than his, the General decided. He opened his mouth to ask—
"No, I don't know where it's from. Weirdo picked it now they all have to use it," Zack explained while the finger on one little hand twirled in a circle around the SOLDIER's temple.
Sephiroth could only agree with the unspoken assessment. His friends were crazy.