Chapter Twenty-Four: Vanishing Draco

. .

I cleared my throat and instantly felt sick, but knew it had nothing to do with all the sugar I'd consumed. Swallowing hard, I carefully opened the envelope and took out a piece of parchment. I found myself staring at my father's unmistakable, tidy cursive. All of a sudden, I wished I had washed my hands before opening post from Father with the same hands I'd used moments ago to ejaculate whilst gazing upon a pile of Mudblood knickers. But now there was no going back. I read on.

To my son Draco:

Happy Christmas, though as you likely know it is anything but happy… But before you get it in your mind to bemoan your own holiday, allow me to inform you of my dire situation. This place is a pit, Draco. A smelly, rotten pit filled with ugly curs and imbeciles alike. I have not been able to fix my hair in weeks. I am unshaven, and there is no face cream, nor is there shoe polish. I wear prison-issued rags and cheaply made clogs these days. They took away my cane upon my intake. I told them it needs to be waxed and hung upon a wall for safe-keeping. They laughed in my face and called me a 'pretty boy snob'! Can you imagine?

I have tried to write to you but my letters keep being confiscated by the Ministry because apparently I am a "High Risk Criminal". But as it is Christmas, they took pity on me and allowed me to write to my family.

First, I have a few requests for you to complete at the manor in my absence. Please make certain the elves are cleaning my side of the bedroom to my elite standards. I want my pillows fluffed even when I am gone because I want them to be to my liking when I return. Also inform your mother that she is to not under any circumstances allow your uncle to "borrow" any of my best dress robes. Make certain the hounds are getting only the best treatment. I know you are not very fond of them but I request you make certain they get a five hour walk around the estate every day, and that should involve at least forty five minutes of fast-paced running. I also request they be pet for no less than a half an hour every other hour. If you have not been doing this, please start now. Your mother can take over when you are back at school. And do not curse at them. It makes them feel bad.

Now, I also want to make certain you are taking care of yourself in this time of stress. Are you regularly trimming and styling your hair? Are you charming your cloak and school robes to constantly make sure they are free of debris? Malfoys do NOT walk around with dander or dust on their robes, Draco, not even when tragedy has struck!

Lastly, I want to tell you that I love you. I am so proud of you for adhering to the Malfoy family standards and for staying strong. You are truly a Malfoy, Draco—I had my doubts in the past but you have stepped up and matured and I am proud to call you my son. No matter what happens, just remember the importance of staying pure and invested in what is right. Remember everything I have taught you. I know you will.

With affection,

Father

With a strangled shout, I threw down my father's letter. I felt in danger of hyperventilation. Could he see me? Was the entire last paragraph a test? Did he have spies? Was my father aware I'd been shagging a Mudblood on the regular? The very Mudblood who'd been involved in a Ministry battle against Death Eaters last spring? The entire reason why my poor father had ended up in Azkaban Prison? I felt tears pulling at my eyes but I was too exhausted to cry. I pulled the tablets out of my pocket that Granger had given me and immediately got up to chuck them out the window.

Honestly, I'd already fucked the Mudblood. The least I could do was respect my father enough to not eat Muggle medicine. As if it would even work!

Once back on my bed, I picked up the second envelope. It was bright pink and adorned with hearts and stars. I groaned aloud and ripped it open.

Dear loser,

How is your pathetic break? I heard you drunk-owled Tracey. Have you gone mad? I can't get her to stop pestering me, wanting me to read your letter and interpret your hand-writing. I told her you were probably just bored and drunk. She called me a cow.

How was your Christmas? My parents said it wasn't the usual Malfoy revelry and that it was quite depressing so I am glad I missed it. Blaise's home is extravagant and we've been getting on well. We want to see you before school starts. Meet up with us the day we go back to Hogwarts at that pub we met at last summer, The Wandering Conjurer between Knockturn and Diagon. I heard from Millicent that the menu's improved but she doesn't exactly have refined taste. Here's hoping.

Hope your balls haven't turned blue by that point. Bet if you begged Astoria she'd give up her V-card to you! We'll talk more about THAT when I see you.

Mwah!

Pansy xoxo

If only I could brag to Pansy I'd been having earth-shattering, regular jungle sex. But there was no way I'd admit that to her. I knew Pansy well enough to understand how her frightening mind worked: She liked that she'd made me sully myself by hooking me up with a Mudblood and she liked that she'd gotten me laid. But she'd never let me live it down if she knew what I was feeling right now.

It was difficult to admit but as much as the letter from my father made me feel extraordinarily guilty, I still fell asleep wondering what Granger was up to and wishing I was shagging her.

. . .

The second week of break went by sluggishly. My days consisted of studying, walking my father's awful dogs, comforting my sobbing mother, and masturbating cheerlessly every night. I'd hidden my father's letter away in the chest underneath my window but I could still feel it. I could hear Father's voice in my head: 'Draco, Draco! What are you doing? Put your robes back on! Pull up your trousers! FOR THE SAKE OF LORD VOLDEMORT, DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND DOWN—Oh, oh, bother, Draco, what have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?' Obviously, I was quite ready for break to be over.

I'd been planning exactly what instructions I wanted to write to Granger and that meant I had to decide exactly where I wanted to have a go with her. I had several different fantasies but none were quite right. We could shag at Flourish and Blots but there was a high risk of getting spied by our classmates. All of the apothecaries and clothing emporiums carried the same danger. I was waiting for Granger to write me post demanding that she needed to know exactly where we were meeting, or worse, a letter that told me off and explained that she'd bought all new pants. But no post came.

Finally, the day before we were supposed to board the train to Hogwarts, I came up with the perfect plan. I spent nearly two hours coming up with the clue. Unlike Pansy, who obviously spewed out her awful verses in less than five seconds, I was a seasoned poet. I needed time and patience to come up with artistic genius. When I had finally had it, I sent it off to Granger's with a proud sneer on my face.

My letter went like this:

Your pants have been stolen, oh what will you do!

Well, it's lucky for you I have come up with a clue

Meet me in a place you do not usually lurk

At a place that sounds like Gorgin and Derk's

It is on the north end of Knockturn Alley and if you stand in front

I promise I'll meet you there to ravish your cunt*

And do not despair for I shall have your pants in tow

I promise you pants and two orgasms and then I'll allow you to go.

Sincerely,

Draco Malfoy

Post-script: *I apologize if cunt is too lewd. I could not think of any other rhymes.

PPS: If you could not work it out, I want to meet you at Borgin and Burke's. It's a kind of oddity shop in Knockturn Alley where only dark, sexy wizards like me go shopping.

PPPS: I forgot to include a time. Please meet me there at ten thirty A.M. The train boards at two in the afternoon but I have to meet my friends at one o'clock for lunch.

I did not immediately get a reply and I spent the evening drumming my hands and nervously snapping my fingers. At the dinner table, I clinked my fork on my plate until my mother rubbed her temples and asked me nicely to please cease doing so before she contracted a lethal migraine. I excused myself to my room and organized my potions set. I made my bed and then jumped on it. I wrote a rude letter to Pansy and made a big mess of my room so the elves would have something to clean up.

Finally, around nine at night I received a response from Granger.

Dear Draco,

I know where Borgin and Burke's is, and I could have worked it out easily as it really was not a clue at all. I appreciate your concern for your word usage. It seems you have limits I was previously unaware of. In my opinion, "cunt" is perfectly tolerable in a sexual sense. However, use it in a discourteous way against a girl and I won't be so forgiving. I shall meet you there and if you "forget" my pants, you won't get anything from me but a telling-off.

Signed,

Hermione Granger

PS: Two orgasms instead of the usual one? My, aren't I special. You'd better be able to deliver or else you'll look very silly.

. . .

It took a long time to pry my mother and all of my father's dogs off me. The dogs retreated when I pretended to toss them a ball (lot of slobbery fuckwits) but Mother wouldn't back off so easily. She was crying and moaning that she was a terrible parent, and if I needed any tips on offing Dumbledore I could consider writing post to Aunt Bellatrix. I hotly told her I had it handled and that I'd rather not hear from Aunty unless I absolutely had to. After all, I'd seen enough of her last summer when she'd attempted to teach me Occlumency but ended up using that skill to badger me about my sex life and laugh at my so-called "innocence" since apparently by age fifteen she'd slept with the entire Slytherin Quidditch team (I'd hotly informed her that just was not in the stars for me, thank you). Then she'd tried to give me tips on pleasuring women—so NO, I absolutely was NOT going to write to Bellatrix. Finally, I got loose from my mother and was on my way to Borgin and Burke's, Granger's underpants safely stored in my school luggage.

I arrived fifteen minutes early and stood against the shop window, scowling at passerby. Only a few moments after I'd arrived I heard feet pounding on the walkway and looked up to see Granger running around the corner, out of breath.

I smirked at her. "Salutations, Granger. Ecstatic about those two impending orgasms, are we?"

"More like I had at least ten people ask me for a spare Galleon, and if it wasn't that, it was if I had a cigarette. Someone asked me if I'd like to buy some magic. What does that even mean?" she demanded in a quiet voice. "Anyway, do you really think this is the best place? Why are we even meeting here? It's really not a good idea. What if I'm seen by one of your unsavory friends?"

"Stop talking and come with me," I said with a grin and grabbed her arm with my free hand. I gave her a very quick peck on the lips. "Emphasis on come, of course."

"Ugh. Malfoy," she said with a roll of her eyes, tossing her hair. I snickered at my own joke as we hustled into the shop. I placed my luggage at the front check-out counter and nodded to the man behind it.

"Morning, Mr. Borgin," I said casually. "Do you mind if we leave our school things with you while I… while I inspect the you-know-what?" I inquired in a low voice. I'd decided I was going to have my way with Granger in the Vanishing Cabinet's twin, which was in the back of Borgin and Burke's. There was enough room for a person to stand in it, so why not shag wildly? Besides, Borgin was a complete pushover when it came to my father. He'd do anything for him, and he'd definitely give me the space I needed.

Just as I suspected, he bowed deeply and grinned crookedly. "Why, good morning, young Master Malfoy. I was wondering when I'd see you next. Of course, of course." He wheeled our luggage back before looking over to Granger, who was surveying a lineup of shrunken heads with a look of puzzlement on her face. "And who's your guest?"

I sniffed at him dourly. "Do you need to know everything ?" I hissed in my best imitation of my father.

"No, no, young sir—I just thought I recognized her, that's all—"

"You didn't," I sneered," so forget it. Come on, Hermione. Let's go back." I pulled her away from the heads and we walked past the counter. Behind us, Borgin let out a gasp.

"I know why I recognize you, Miss! I'm so sorry! A thousand apologies! You really did know him! And I didn't help you! I hope it didn't ruin your birthday, Master Malfoy! I'm so sorry!"

Granger jerked her head back and her face went pink. "Er—it's o-okay!" she stammered with a cheerful wave.

"What's he on about?" I whispered in her ear as we continued walking.

"No idea," she said with a shrug. "I've never been in here before in my life, obviously!"

"That Borgin is a crackpot old idiot. You shouldn't have encouraged his senile mind," I sniggered. She went into a lecture about how I should not insult older people because they were wise but I paid no attention. We'd approached the far back of the store where there was a door leading to another room. I opened it carefully and let Granger go first. Not many people knew, but that was where many cursed objects were sold. "Now, you mustn't touch anything. And we should be fairly quick—"

"Why are we here, Draco? What's so special about this place? It's creepy," she said quietly.

"We're here because no one will ask questions. Now come on. This is where we're going." I strutted forward to the Vanishing Cabinet and swung the doors open, stepping inside. It was roomy enough if you used your imagination and being an only child, I had plenty imagination.

Apparently, Granger wasn't raised to be so inventive. She folded her arms and glowered. "You've got to be kidding me. In a chest of drawers? Is this a joke?"

"It's no joke. Come on! Don't be choosy. I want you and I want you now, Granger. I need to get laid before school starts so I have a clear head," I said enticingly, leaning against the wall of the cabinet and looking her up and down.

She gave a short laugh. "Honestly, the ridiculous things I do to hook up with you. At least you aren't dull—"

"Oh, I'm far from dull, Granger. Come on. Get in here. We don't have all day. I'd hate to make you late to get on the Hogwarts Express. Just think! If you couldn't sit with Potter the Magnificent and Weasel Bee, you'd cry forever!"

"You'd go berserk if you were late, Malfoy. Who knows what you'd do if you had to sit with Hufflepuffs. Or worse, a compartment full of Mudbloods," Granger said slyly while shedding her jumper and coat onto the floor.

I reached into my school robes and unbuttoned my trousers, softly tugging on my shaft as I watched Granger undress. Wearing only her skirt and knee socks, she stepped inside the cabinet and I closed it over, shrouding us in darkness. "Oh, I don't know," I said calmly with a relaxed smirk, "I think certain Mudbloods might be growing on me, if you get my meaning." I grasped her hand and pushed it down my boxers, having her feel where I was getting hard. I sucked in air at the feeling of her cool skin against me.

"Very funny word-play, Malfoy," she whispered, her eyes closing for a second as she explored my length. She cupped my balls and squeezed them lightly and I moaned. We exchanged a long kiss, her slipping her tongue into my mouth. I gripped her hair and pulled her head back, biting her neck as hard as I could. "God. Ooh. Malfoy," she whined in a high tone, removing her hand. "What are you doing?"

"You won't see your parents until the next break. So I figure I can be as rough as I wish," I whispered into her ear.

"And what if my friends ask questions?" she panted.

"They'll just be angry their break wasn't half as good as yours," I grunted, dropping my trousers. My erection shifted, tenting my boxers and jutting against her stomach. "And look. You wore a skirt for me—"

"No, I just wanted to," she informed me and although it was dark, I knew she was rolling her eyes.

"I'm going to say you wore it for me," I said throatily and gripped her by the hips. I shifted her hard against me and shoved my hand up her skirt. "Holy snakes!" I exclaimed at once as I had the delightful realization that Granger was going commando. Instead of meeting slightly damp fabric, my fingers were against her warm, wet folds.

She laughed. "Now that I did for you."

"I didn't take that many pairs of your pants," I responded, "Not that I'm complaining. This is nice. Now imagine what would have happened if a big breeze had rolled up while you were coming to meet me—"

"It did," she said plainly, "which was why I gripped my bottom and ran the entire way."

"Oh my," I said slowly with a laugh and ran my fingers around her inner thigh before shoving my hand fully inside her. She emitted a long, high-pitched wail. "Oh my fucking—you're so bloody wet, Hermione—what the blazes were you thinking about on the way here? Not your homework, I expect—"

"You," she muttered into my ear, biting my earlobe. She squealed as I quickened my motion. "Shagging you. And then you kissed me outside the shop. God, Malfoy, what are you doing with your hand?"

I slammed it into her deeper and then worked my other arm up her skirt. "Damn angles," I mumbled and fell to my knees. I use my left hand to massage her clit and my right to pound her deeply. As my hand went in, I opened and closed my fist inside her. She howled out something unintelligible. "Mmf, you're wet, you're so wet," I said approvingly. "How does it feel?"

"God, it's amazing! It's fantastic," she wailed. "Why haven't you done this before? You have to do this again—you have to—you have to—ohh—"

"I've done this before. Just not on my knees in front of you. Not underneath your skirt—"

"You've never done it this hard, Malfoy—Oh-ho-ho-oh—my God—"

"Oh ho ho!" I said in a booming voice. "Have you been hanging around Slughorn too much?"

She snapped her head down. "Never again will you bring up a professor while we're having sex! Enough with the jokes! Honestly, Draco! Keep going! Keep going!"

"Yes, Miss Granger," I said hoarsely and bit her thigh. She squeaked and squirmed. "I'll be a good ferret and do just as you say." Granger ran her hand through my hair and gripped my bangs, shoving me back between her legs. I grunted happily. I got back to work and kept slamming my hand into her. I swiped her clit with an intense speed as I continued to bite and lick her thigh. Her lengthy moans told me I was doing it right but I wanted to make it as intense as I could. I wedged my face between her legs, straining myself and leaning forward so that I could get my tongue right on her clit. I continued to fist her as I sucked her off.

"God, Malfoy," she said breathlessly, "it's too good! Slower with your tongue, but really drive your hand into me…" I changed rhythms to suit her fancy and she half-sighed, half-shouted. "Oh Jesus, yes! That's good! That's so good, ah—"

I moaned deeply at her submission. "Granger, it's so completely hot to have you above me but completely taken with my technique. I want you to come over my fingers—"

"I want to come in your mouth—switch your finger back to my clit and put your tongue inside me—I want to come in your mouth, Draco—"

"Beg me," I said devilishly, pulling my head out from her skirt and casting a sneer up at her.

She gave a shudder and grabbed my head again. "Do it, Malfoy! Make me come, you awful prat! You spoiled tosser! Do it now!"

"That wasn't really begging but, very well," I said, "I'm more than happy to do that for you." I raised up my digits again and used my thumb and pointer finger to play with her clit as I thrust my tongue inside her hot, soaking wet hole. I stroked her clit as fast as I could as my tongue sharply moved in and out of her. I heard her breath change into fast pants above me and even though my arm muscles were getting a bit tired, I kept going. Several minutes later, Granger started gasping, and moved her hands from my hair. I heard a creak of wood which told me she was gripping onto the rafter of the cabinet.

She leaned back onto the wall and screeched out an especially long moan. "Ohhh, Draaaco, yes-yes-yes—" she yowled and her entire body convulsed above me.

I stuck my tongue deeply into her as I continued to switch my digits over her clit. In a wave, I felt her pussy muscles tighten over my tongue and I tasted new juices flowing from deep inside her twat. I moaned into her pussy, continuing to stimulate her clit until she grabbed my hand.

"I can't take it anymore," she sighed breathlessly. "That was so good…"

With a triumphant smirk on my face, I stood up, wiping my face on my sleeve. "One down, one more to go, right? You're all over me, Granger. Guess I'm not so bad after all—"

"Shut up," she said, and kissed me. I put my arms around the small of her back and as I hugged her I felt her body trembling against me. "Now," she said, "Please shag me right now!"

"Gladly," I said, and pulled my boxers off at once, casting them upon the floor of the cabinet. "Come here, Granger. I'm going to fuck you hard, deep and fast—"

She fumbled about as she dropped her skirt, and then took her knee socks off. As soon as her legs were bare, she came up with a little package. "Here—I hid the condom in my sock this time. I'll put it on for you." She ripped it open and removed the thing, snapping it over my hard cock and squeezing the tip. "God, Malfoy—I'm so wet—"

I seized her by the bottom and lifted her up, balancing her against the wall of the cabinet. "Are you ready for me to be inside you?"

"Uhhhh," she cried out, stroking my shaft wildly with her hand, "yes, put it in, I can't wait—"

"Salazar, Granger! You really want this, don't you?" I teased, gripping her arse and taunting her cunt by jutting my erection against it. "You want my big cock inside you, hm?"

"Now, Draco," she said loudly. "Now!"

I slid into her and sighed, biting her neck. "Holy fucking snakes, you're slick. I'm going to fuck you so hard…" The cabinet thumped and thunked loudly. Granger's muscle wove around me, tight and soaking wet. I gritted my teeth, straining to hold her up by her arse and balance her so I stayed inside but I slipped out almost at once. I put her back on the floor and then tried to pick her up again, but lost my grip as I attempted to slide inside her. "Salazar's bloody spell book, this is difficult—"

"This position would be hard to manage for anyone, but you're fairly short, Draco," Granger said plainly. "Maybe we should try it a different way!"

I went a bit pink, thanking all entities that it was too dark for her to notice. "Short?" I spat out bitterly. "That's nice. If you haven't noticed, I'm in fabulous shape. I've lifted up girls far larger than you, Granger—"

"Don't get embarrassed!" she said and swatted my shoulder. "Having sex standing up takes a special skill and more room than a cabinet!"

"Ugggh, I'm NOT embarrassed!" I snarled at once. "Here! I'll prove I can do it!" I picked her up again and was able to angle her against the wall of the dresser but when I tried to put my dick in her she cried out.

"Wrong hole, Draco! Honestly! Just listen to me and put me down! Stand against the wall of the cabinet. I'm going to see if we can figure out an easier way!"

Begrudgingly, I let her down and stood where she'd indicated, scowling and crossing my arms. As much as I wanted to shag her, I had to admit she was very talented at driving me insane. She was also quite remarkable at making a person feel completely brainless. "Alright, what's your brilliant idea, Granger? Let's see what you've got."

My foul mood melted away when Granger stood before me, put her hands on the opposite wall of the cabinet and bent over with her arse up. "Shag me from behind, Malfoy," she instructed bossily. "Pull my hair and dominate me."

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do, you nasty little slut," I groaned approvingly, giving myself a few vigorous tugs before spreading her arse and entering her. Granger moaned in a low voice as I began to thrust into her. I slapped her arse with an open palm and reveled at the loud sound. With my other hand, I wove my fingers through her hair and grabbed her by a chunk of it. "I love being deep inside you," I said, breathing hard.

"Yes, Draco, fuck me!" she exclaimed, "do it as hard as you can!"

"Who said you get to tell me what to do?" I growled and pummeled her arse again.

She moaned in thrill, bucking her behind to meet my cock.

"Master Malfoy, is all well back here?" called out Mr. Borgin from somewhere inside the room.

Granger gasped as I clapped my hand over her mouth. "Yes, Borgin, now will you please give me some peace?" I demanded.

I could almost hear him bowing. "Yes, Master Malfoy—I was just concerned is all. Please accept my apologies!" I heard his footsteps retreating.

"Bollucks!" I cursed furiously, and Granger threw a worried glance behind her.

"What?" she asked and then instantly, "Oh."

I'd completely lost my erection and was slipping out again. I sighed loudly and pulled out, massaging my dick in a fast motion. "Come on, come on, come on," I urged it. I'd had such good luck with Granger thus far. Why was everything going to hell the day I promised her an orgasmic public romp? This wasn't supposed to happen.

To make it worse, Granger straightened up and ran her hand down my arm. "Draco, it's alright. Don't force it! Sometimes penises have minds of their own. I know it doesn't mean you're not in the mood—"

"What do you know about penises? What, Granger? Have you read Penis, A History?" I snapped.

She giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. I glowered at her. "Honestly, Draco! I was just—"

"Just—just be quiet, Granger. I'll deal with it." I turned away from her and continued stroking myself, willing it to come to life. But it seemed unwilling to cooperate. I thought about getting back inside Granger. I thought about veela. I considered doing a double-team with the Patil twins. I thought about being waited on hand and foot by several big-titted girls wearing only pasties and silken thongs. But all of the usual things that made my snake spring to life just weren't working. "Kiss me, Granger. That should do it."

She softly brought her lips to mine and ran her fingers through my hair. I pumped myself as she moved her tongue into my mouth and then ran her hand down my chest and to my cock. She cupped my balls and I fired a nasty look at her.

"That's not going to work! Damn it! This isn't going to work!"

Granger made a pained face of concern. "It's not such a big deal! Relax! We can just—"

"ReLAX!?" I hissed. "RELAX? This wasn't supposed to happen—"

"Really, Draco, it happens to anyone. Don't take it so seriously!"

My face feeling hot, I dropped my hand to my side. I sighed heavily. "Right. Okay. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" she asked calmly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE ABOUT THIS?" I demanded.

"How else would I be?" Granger asked in a brisk voice. "Honestly, Malfoy, I'm not a monster. I understand you can't force yourself hard. These things happen! Do you want me to be rude about it?"

"Well. No." I shifted uncomfortably. Since it was dark and I knew Granger really couldn't see my face very well, I decided I could reveal a bit more than usual. "It's just, anytime Pansy tried to blow me and I went soft she'd make fun of me for days. And Tracey would cry if I couldn't get it up and ask me over and over again if it was because I thought she was ugly."

"How horrible," Granger commented. "No wonder Parkinson could never make you come from a blow job."

I snapped to attention. "How do you know that?"

"Oh—I—er—I suppose I heard it somewhere. I don't know. Parkinson's got a big mouth. I sort of remember overhearing her complaining about it in the loo once—"

"Weird," I said. "That's not something I'd think she would want just anyone to know. She's so insane."

Granger sighed. "Insane is a bit ableist. I'd say she's just rather unpleasant," she said. "Anyway, we could do other things! Penetration is nice, but I love what you do with your hands and your tongue. Obviously."

"I don't know, Granger. I'm not… I'm not really in the mood anymore," I said glumly. "Sorry. I promise I'll get you once we're back at school. But I'll give you all your pants. Don't worry."

"Oh," she said slowly. "That's… well… that's okay, I suppose. I told Harry and Ron I'd meet them for tea anyway."

I snorted, pulling my clothes back on and fastening my robes. "How divine. Do pass on my hellos—"

"Malfoy, stop being a berk. You can't really be jealous, can you? I made that arrangement because you said you were going to meet your friends for lunch!"

"Well, it's not like I want to see my friends," I grumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, and kissed her on the lips, putting my hands on her waist. "I think I'm just in a strange mood today. Hopefully after some overpriced foul food and idiotic conversation I'll feel better."

She kissed me again as I opened the door of the cabinet. "I hope so, Malfoy. And you should eat something that's actually nutritious." She went silent after viewing my exasperated expression. "Er-sorry."

With a bit of an awkward tension between us, we walked to the front of the shop and grabbed our luggage. As soon as we were back out in the chill air outside, I quickly handed her the pants. She gave me a wry smile before wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing my forehead. With that, she hurried off again with one hand on her luggage and the other keeping her skirt pressed to her bottom.

Still cursing myself, I headed off to the Wandering Conjurer. Honestly, after experiencing my first erectile problems in a long while the last person I wanted to see was-

"Draaaaaco! Get over here! You look positively shaggy! What in fuck is the matter with your hair!?"

"Good afternoon, lover boy!"

I gritted my teeth, rolled my eyes, and made my way over to the back booth where both Pansy and Blaise were waving wildly and shouting. Lord Voldemort, give me the strength to make it through the day…