Chapter 10: Here Waiting

A/N: I hope you all had a merry holiday season. My New Years resolution is to be good about review replies. I read them all. They make my day, and I thank you.

Disclaimer: These characters belong to SM. Not I.

"Another day is going by

I'm thinking about you all the time

But you're out there

And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head

Cuz so many things were left unsaid,"

~I'd Do Anything, Simple Plan

At a glance, Edward Cullen's life was approaching a stage of bliss he hadn't known before. He was falling in love with a bright, funny, passionate man whom he could talk with endlessly. One of his best friends, having overcome no small amount of anxiety and depression, was going to be married to a man who adored her and doted on her. His older brother, so long alone, had found a sweet, kind woman he was absolutely smitten with.

But what couldn't be denied was that his universe was just a little off kilter. Like in that old children's tale, he could just feel that something was not right.

When Edward left Bella's place the night that she came home from Forks, she'd given him the divorce papers to take to Alice. He'd never seen his friend so close to hysterical. Typically, Bella only cried when she was angry, but her tears that night had been entirely other. She was heartbroken for so many reasons, and Edward was helpless to fix it.

Since that day a month and a half had passed. He saw both Alice and Bella frequently but never together. Alice refused to talk to her ex-best friend, no matter how Bella had tried. There was a lot that had been said between them that the raven haired woman just couldn't forgive.

For her part, Bella was far from arguing. No one needed to make her wear a scarlet letter. She wore her guilt in the set of her shoulders, and the tired look in her eyes. It was like watching her slowly lose her bright colors.

"How can I blame her for being angry with me?" she'd said sadly, looking down at her hands - anywhere but him. "You and I were the ones she trusted when she couldn't trust anyone else. I betrayed that. It doesn't matter if it's not true - I slept with a man she believes hurt her over and over again. How long did it take us to convince her that everything he told her was a lie? And yet I believed his story over hers. That I know it was James and not Jasper is irrelevant - she believes it was Jasper." She'd scoffed and finally looked at him. "Admit it, Edward. If it wasn't me, you would be so disgusted with my choices, you wouldn't even be able to talk to me."

In all honesty, Edward had trouble wrapping his head around what Bella possibly could have been thinking. He should have guessed that when she believed Jasper's story, she would put 100% of her faith in that belief, not even entertaining the thought that he might be lying to her. He'd understood that she was smitten with the man - he was rather a romantic figure given what he claimed. But still, the leap between that and falling into bed with him - an action she had to know would devastate Alice if she found out - was one that he never would have guessed Bella was capable of making.

"I don't regret it," Bella had muttered, looking at him with huge, lost eyes. "I'm very, very sorry that Alice found out the way she did, but I'm not sorry that I did it. What kind of a person does that make me?"

"You are, after all, only human," he'd comforted her, but he hadn't understood.

Edward didn't know what to do except let time heal what wounds it could. A month and a half was all the time that had passed when he figured out that his older brother wasn't helping that cause any.

"I can't decide whether it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen or the saddest," Carlisle said, shaking his head with a small smile.

"What do you mean?" Edward pressed.

Carlisle studied his younger brother for a moment and then sighed. "Every time I go see Esme or she comes here, Jasper and Bella ask us to deliver these packages. There's never a letter in them. Just items. Books. Movies. Knick knacks. Things that remind them of one another." Carlisle laughed in his typical, gentle fashion. "Last month, when he found out that Bella was feeling particularly low, Jasper sent her a few Christopher Moore books - brand new except that he underlined his favorite passages."

Like he was sharing that humor with her, Edward realized. Like they were having a conversation without saying a single word to each other. "That's..."

"Sweet?" Carlisle supplied.

"He loves her," Edward said on a breath. He felt winded. Of course, he knew that Bella was in love with Jasper. To that point, he'd had no way of knowing just how requited that emotion was.

"He does," Carlisle confirmed, no doubt in his tone. "You only have to look at him to see it." Silence stretched on between the brothers. Edward looked troubled - deep in thought. Carlisle sighed. "You still don't believe him, do you? That it wasn't him who hurt Alice?"

Edward stood, beginning to pace with nervous energy. "It's just not that simple. I haven't dismissed the possibility, but it's not something I can believe outright. There's a reason why even the smartest, strongest of people can fall victim to an abusive personality. "

Abusers were master manipulators. They were skilled with lies. I won't ever do it again. I'm so sorry. They fooled not only their victims - getting under their skin and systematically breaking down their self worth - but the people around them as well. He had witnessed first hand just how deeply traumatized Alice was.

"I am not an idiot," Carlisle said, his lips pressed into a tight line. "I have the same concerns you do. It just doesn't add up, Edward. If he was the man you think he is, wouldn't he have shot Felix when he attacked him? Or pressed charges at the very least. Jasper is in a position of power. He had every right to have Felix arrested for assaulting a police officer." Carlisle's expression softened along with his tone. "But all that aside, I owe him the benefit of the doubt."

"Because of Esme?"

"He saved her life, Edward. She worries about him a lot. It's the least I can do to ferry a few packages back and forth. It gives him a bit of happiness, and I think we all deserve that."

Edward quirked an eyebrow at his brother, one side of his mouth curling up in amusement. "And you're a hopeless romantic."

Carlisle chuckled. "If you think I'm bad, you should see Esme. But yes, I can't help but hope for a happily ever after for all involved. And I can't help my own observations. Jasper doesn't deserve to suffer any more than Alice did."

Edward didn't respond at first, thinking it over. Carlisle was right: the evidence was most certainly in Jasper's favor. Still, there were holes. If it was possible that Edward could finish the quest that Bella had started - finding physical proof that James was not only real, but the man who had hurt Alice - didn't he owe it to all involved?

"I'm coming with you to Forks," Edward said decisively.

The look on Carlisle's face was comical. He couldn't quite hide the dismay at the idea of his brother crashing his Emse time. Edward laughed. "Don't worry. I'll get a separate room. No need to share the bed."

~0~

Once they got to Forks, Edward left Carlisle and Esme to attend to their real estate business, "If that's what you kids are calling it these days." He borrowed his brother's car and drove to the police station.

At the police station, Edward was glad to find one officer there. Being that she was the only female on the force, he guessed that it was Officer Angela Cheney – just the person he wanted to speak to.

"You knew Alice and Jasper when you were in high school?" he asked gently after he'd introduced himself.

Angela seemed wary of him. He could tell she was the type of person that didn't like to betray confidences. "Yes. We were friends," she said carefully.

It took him all of his considerable convincing skills before Angela loosened up and began answering his questions. As it turned out, the policewoman harbored a great deal of guilt about the last time she'd seen Alice.

"I meant to go see her in the hospital, but I didn't know what to say. Then she was just... gone," Angela explained.

It was obvious that Jasper had kept silent about what had gone on between himself and his soon to be ex-wife. Angela obviously knew something had gone down a month and a half previous - she had to have seen the bruises on Jasper's neck - but she didn't seem to know the details at all.

"Of course I remember James," she said, her tone bordering on acerbic. "Alice and I would go out - you know, shopping in Port Angeles, or even just hanging out together. He would call over and over again. The more he called, the more upset Alice got. She would end up pleading with him to believe her that we weren't out doing anything, you know, unseemly." Angela looked frustrated just remembering. "And when she was staying with Jasper's family, forget it.

"He made Alice cry so much, I never understood what good she saw in James. I mean, he wasn't in school and didn't hang out with our group, so I admit I never knew him personally." She shook her head sadly. "I didn't get it. Especially when it was so obvious that Jasper-"

She cut herself off, looking up at Edward as if remembering belatedly that he was there. "Jasper obviously cared for her," he supplied softly.

Angela nodded. "Ben and I used to tell him – just tell her how you feel."

"Obviously that worked out well," a deceptively calm voice interrupted them. Both Edward and Angela looked up, startled to find Jasper in the door. "Edward," he greeted, moving passed them to get to his own desk.

Smiling reassuringly at Angela, Edward nodded at her and went after Jasper. The other man didn't look at him, instead concentrating on hanging his jacket on the back of his chair and flipping through a few papers on his desk. "I thought you'd be here quite a bit sooner. You might as well get it over with."

Edward raised an eyebrow. He sat in the chair opposite Jasper's desk. The other man's defensive tone set off his counseling mode. He studied Jasper carefully, taking note of the tense set of his shoulders and the way his normally full lips were pressed thin with irritation. "What are you talking about?" he asked mildly.

Jasper chuffed. "Why don't you tell me? I figured I'd see your face or Felix's face here eventually after what happened."

Anger radiated off the blond-haired man. "You think I have some sort of problem with you?"

The look in Jasper's eyes as he raised his head was filled with incredulity and suspicion, like he couldn't figure why Edward was messing with him. "You believe Alice, right? I'm a bully and a rapist? You probably think I took advantage of Bella, too. You want me to leave her alone." He eyed Edward for another moment before looking back at his paperwork. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not a mind reader," Edward said bluntly. It was easy to keep his cool when he saw Jasper's outburst for what it was. Anger was one of the more common self defense mechanisms. It was an easy assumption to make, given the circumstances, that Edward was there to antagonize him. He imagined that it must have been outrageously painful to be accused over and over again of being a person he was not.

Keeping his eyes on his desk, Jasper took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I've discovered lately that I have uh... residual bitterness."

"That's understandable," Edward nodded.

"Look, can you quit playing the part of the shrink? I realize you are one. I already have one of those and you're not her. Whatever you're here for, just spit it out," Jasper groused, irritation getting the better of him.

"You've sought counseling?" Edward asked, surprised.

With a sigh, Jasper leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Believe me, the phrase 'residual bitterness' is not one I would have thought of myself. I've got issues. Maybe not the ones you think I have-"

"You know, it seems counterproductive for you to put words in my mouth," Edward pointed out mildly. Jasper was silent. "Given everything you've been through, I'd say counseling is a good decision."

That got Jasper's attention. He looked at Edward curiously. "You believe me suddenly? Why?"

"Evidence has swayed the jury in your favor," Edward said casually, nodding in Angela's direction. "I can't prove your guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, so I have no choice but to return a not guilty verdict."

Jasper's mouth quirked as if he was trying to hide his grin, but he wasn't quite able to. "So, what are you here for then?"

Then it was Edward's turn to sit back in his chair, contemplating. "I have a half-cocked plan."

"Well, those are the best kind," Jasper returned.

"It might not work."

"You know what they say. It definitely won't work if you don't try it."

Edward grinned. "This is true." He let his face be serious. "But I need you to be honest with me."

Jasper returned to his method of avoidance, looking down at his paperwork again. "I haven't ever lied to you."

"Lies of omission are lies too, Jasper," Edward replied. When the other man didn't respond, he continued. "When did James come back, and what happened?"

"What makes you think he came back?"

"Just a hunch. With men like that - it's about a sense of ownership. The baby might have scared him away temporarily, but it probably wouldn't have disabused him of the idea that he owned Alice," Edward explained.

Jasper's fingers tightened noticeably around the pen in his hand. He grimaced and breathed in through his nose slowly. "He did come back. After the accident. After Alice was already gone."

"What happened?" Edward prompted.

The pen in Jasper's hand flicked back and forth as he twitched, almost nervously. "He demanded to know where she was. I told him that she was with family in Olympia. The address I gave him was a friend of mine. Peter. I met him there."

"Then what," Edward asked softly when Jasper stopped talking.

"I provoked him until he beat the shit out of me," Jasper said flatly, idly tapping a scar on his chin, and then pointing to another above his eyebrow.

"Why?" Edward was sure to keep the emotion off his face. Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't that.

"Peter was there to call the cops. James did time for it, because I sure as shit pressed charges." Jasper shrugged. "And a prior assault record meant he went down for even more time after the most recent domestic violence charges."

Edward blinked, trying to process all that. Then he suddenly started laughing. Jasper looked at him as if he'd grown another head. "What?"

"You've got to stop letting people beat you up, man," Edward managed between laughs.

At that Jasper couldn't help but smile. He looked sheepish. "Hey - it was just those two in what - seven years? And I'd have stopped Felix before he killed me."

"You just wanted James to be held accountable for something," Edward concluded, sobering again.

Jasper nodded. "And I wanted him behind bars - I wanted Alice completely inaccessible to him."

There was silence as Edward considered this. In the meantime, Jasper went back to filling out the report that was on his desk.

"You never told anyone that, did you?" Edward asked finally.

"Peter was the only one who ever knew - and he never had any idea why I did it. He just did like I asked and called the cops when James started punching."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why not at least tell Bella that?"

The only sign that Jasper had heard his question was that his pen stopped. He didn't look up, and after a moment he kept on writing. "Because she would have looked at me like I was a hero. I'm not the hero."

Edward turned this information over and over in his head. He stood, absentmindedly patting his jacket for his car keys. "Jasper?" he said softly.

With a light sigh, the blond-haired man looked up, caution easily readable in his tight, tired eyes.

"You're not the bad guy either."

Jasper looked down again, laughing without humor.

"Jasper," Edward said, waiting for the other man to look up again before continuing. "Do you love Bella?"

This time, the blond-haired man turned around completely in his chair. "When she came here - after I got to know her - it was like... suddenly realizing I was colorblind. Everything felt vibrant when she was here." He paused, and Edward knew what it took for him to admit that. "Yes. Yes, I'm in love with her."

~0~

Several weeks passed before Edward was finally ready to talk to Alice.

"Hey, sunshine," Alice chirped cheerfully, kissing his cheek as she let him in the door.

Felix chuckled his deep, pleasant laugh. "Bye, sunshine," he said cheerfully, sportingly kissing Edward's other cheek.

"Where are you off to? Can it wait?" Edward asked.

Both Alice and Felix stopped short, looking at Edward with drawn eyes. They looked at each other, wondering how serious it could be if he wanted Felix there. Edward and Felix got along, but Edward was Alice's friend primarily. "I could stay," the larger man allowed.

Edward guided them both to their living room, telling them to sit down. He pulled a chair over to sit in front of them. When they were all situated, Edward took out a small Dictaphone, pressing play without telling them what was on it.

The tape consisted of a conversation he'd had just the day before with James Hunter - an inmate at the Clallam Bay Corrections Center.

"Do you remember Alice Brandon?"

There was a scoff before James replied. "What about that whore?"

It went down hill from there. He berated Alice, one bad name after another slipping out of his mouth as he talked about how she slept around. How she was ungrateful. How she'd cheated on him, gotten knocked up by another man and he still would have taken her back.

Edward turned the tape off when Alice started to hyperventilate. His heart ached. He hated hurting his friend, but he knew that sometimes you had to rebreak a wound in order to fix it.

"What are you trying to do?" Felix snarled, his eyes livid as he glared at Edward. Alice was tucked underneath his arm, and he stroked her hair, tenderly shushing her and rocking her even as he tossed Edward dirty looks.

Edward ignored the larger man, getting on his knees and leaning across the table so he could talk to Alice. "Alice. Honey, listen to me. I love you. You know I love you. I couldn't love you more if you were my own sister. You know I only want what's best for you."

"You think this is what's best for me?" she demanded in a wheeze. "I don't - I don't even know who that man is. Why..."

Edward slipped a piece of paper in front of her. It was a full color photo of James - a mug shot that was taken when Jasper had filed assault charges against him. "Are you sure you don't remember him, Alice?"

Alice put her hands over her eyes. She was shaking hard, tears beginning to stream from the corner of her eyes. "I don't..." she sounded disoriented.

Closing his eyes for one brief moment, Edward continued, knowing he had to push her. "Your friend, Angela Weber - Angela Cheney now - she remembers James. She remembers him calling you incessantly when you were out. She remembers James," he emphasized the name and Alice flinched, "made you cry. Often."

"Stop," Felix demanded, slamming a hand down on the coffee table in front of Edward's face. Both Alice and Edward jumped at the sound. "I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing-"

"You have a choice," Edward said steadily, keeping his eyes on Felix though he was talking to Alice. "You can calm down, and try to listen to what I have to say, or you can continue to let him control you by making yourself irrational."

Alice sobbed loudly into her hands and Felix stood, taking a menacing step toward Edward. "Get out of here."

"No," Alice choked out. She was breathing hard, but obviously trying to calm down. She gasped for breath, furiously wiping away her tears as Felix rubbed soothing circles against her back. "No," she repeated when she had a little more control. "Let him say what he came here to say."

Her eyes, though tearful, were hard when she looked up at Edward. This was a woman who was used to being stabbed in the back by the people who were supposed to love her. This was a woman who knew she was stronger than that, and this time she would look her friend in the eye as he tried to break her.

Edward took a deep breath, knowing this could go very badly. His aim was to heal - not just Alice, but Bella and Jasper as well. There was so much wrong to set right, but it all hinged on whether or not Alice could see a truth other than the one her memories provided.

Changing a person's understanding of their own reality was as close to an impossible task as there could be.

Requesting that she listen without responding first, Edward slowly began to explain the story as he knew it. He threw in as many details as he could remember, especially the positive ones of Jasper. He hoped those details would help her establish true memories from false ones, leaving her less room to doubt the version of things Edward was presenting.

He tried to let her see it as he had seen it. Bella's trust in Jasper had come naturally, almost easily. Edward's trust was hard won - with irrefutable evidence. He traced the line of logic from Jasper's attitude, to how he saved Esme, and even Carlisle's observations - Carlisle being someone that Alice trusted. Then there was the second hand verification - people who had no reason to lie and had been questioned away from where Jasper could prompt them. Jessica Stanley had verified James' presence, and Angela had verified the behavior.

"Try to think like you were in a jury," Edward encouraged, remembering his talk with Jasper a few weeks prior. "Don't dismiss a single piece of evidence unless you are certain - concretely - that it can be disproved. If you can't disprove it beyond a shadow of a doubt, you have to consider it. Just consider it. I'm not asking you to believe right now."

"And what is the point of all this?" Alice demanded, her voice raw with emotion. She was overwhelmed and angry. It was easy to read on her face. But at least she wasn't completely shut down. "You're suddenly Jasper's BFF?" she asked bitterly. "Or is this all about Bella? I should just forgive her because I was crazy to begin with."

"I am not asking you to forgive what Bella did," Edward said with calm sincerity. "Not right now. I know better than to ask for the impossible before you're ready. Bella's timing was ill advised to say the least, and her choices were very painful for you.

"This," he gestured back and forth between them, "is not about Bella. Not really. Let me just say - and just put this at the very back of your mind because it's, honestly, the last thing you should be considering right now - Bella loves you. I know, in your heart of hearts, that you know this is true, even though you're angry right now - and you have every right to be. But everything in six years of friendship should tell you that Bella would never hurt you out of any sort of malice.

"What that tells me is that what happened between her and Jasper had to be powerful. It isn't an excuse. Just something to let percolate in the back of your head for the moment. She's sorry.

"But ultimately, what this is about is closure. You've been through hell and back. Lord knows you've earned the right to put your past behind you." He tilted his head, making sure she was really listening. She was staring at the ground, but he could see her eyes were open. "I know this feels like it's opening fresh wounds, but I think that it has the potential to let you reconcile a few issues. You should be able to go back to Forks - maybe even reconnect with friends who meant something to you in high school - or at least have the possibility open to you. If there are good memories, of Jasper and your past with him, to have, you should be able to treasure those instead of looking back on them with fear."

Alice didn't say anything. She didn't even move at first. Slow tears were falling from the corners of her eyes as if on a steady drip. Her face was emotionless. Then she put her hands over her eyes again, and Edward could see the light tremor of her fingers. "I don't know," she said in a faint whisper. "I don't know…"

She was confused. That was understandable.

Edward stood, knowing he'd done all he could. "Take your time. Think about it. Just remember that you and I have known each other for six years. You know I love you, and I would never bring something like this to you unless I was sure. No one is asking you to believe or forgive or forget. Just consider."

He walked to her, running a hand through her hair in a tender motion. She flinched but didn't pull away. "You know I'm always here for you, Alice," he said. Then he let himself out.

This was the part he hated. No matter how many patients he had, this part was always the hardest. He could give his patients all the tools they needed to help themselves, but ultimately they would have to pick them up. And, of course, Alice was not merely a patient. He knew that his actions tonight could have cost not only her friendship, but set her own recovery back instead of helping her move forward.

As he got further away from Alice and Felix's place, Edward had to remind himself that it was worth the risk. To give Alice back a piece of her past – a part that was not complete horror. To clear the name of a decent man; it didn't matter that Jasper and Edward weren't friends in any measurable way, it was the right thing to do. And for Bella and Jasper to even have a chance – however slim – at happiness, they would need their relationship to begin without guilt, and without someone else's pain hanging over them.

So, Edward had no choice but to wait – as much as it drove him crazy. He called Benjamin and spent the evening on the couch, his head on the other man's shoulder, trying to forget his fears, if only for the evening.

A/N: Thank you to TwilightMundi for betaing. I really am the luckiest person. I have such amazing people around me and amazing readers (that's you!).