Chapter 2
Grissom approached the address he remembered as Sara's. He had been thinking about this moment since he first got word there was an opening in the school for two semesters and they were recruiting his services. He wasted no time checking in with Brass to get the leave of absence then quickly accepting the offer. Visions of long walks along the bay with a tall brunette brought a calmness to him he hadn't felt since he left six months earlier. Now, he could get to know her a little better. He had over ten months to spend with her and he planned on finding out rather quickly who this Jesse Cassidy-guy was as well as the other guy that Sara never identified.
He really had no plans other than stopping at her apartment and asking her to help him move his things into the small apartment the college had rented for him. He simply wanted to see her as quickly as possible and he didn't want to waste any time unpacking.
He stood at the door, feeling a combination of anxiousness and calm. He had been so stressed on the job these past six months, and his relationship with Terri Miller hadn't helped matters. She had a knack of dancing along a line that he would rather not be on. When they weren't working together, he was bombarded with emails and phone calls, always insinuating they were going to be finally opening the door to the chemistry that they knew flowed between them. And, when she would return to work with him, the flirting continued in a very sophisticated way; a way that made him stand a little straighter whenever she was around; a way that made him adjust his clothes so he didn't look quite so rumpled. But the moment they would have the opportunity to spend time together, she would push past the flirting stage and press for more intimacies. Granted, he was attracted to her, and he thought she was brilliant—but there was just something there that wasn't quite fitting with him and he couldn't put his finger on it. Most times they had managed to get to a restaurant, one or the other was interrupted by calls from work and had to end the evening prematurely. On the one or two times they had managed to get through the dinner, he would walk her to her apartment door but something held him there; some sort of barrier that wouldn't let him cross the threshold.
Now, standing at this doorway, he wanted nothing more than to cross over and see the beautiful smile he knew she would bestow upon him. He needed a friend and she provided him with a stability and reassurance that he thrived on. He already had plans of going to a crab shack or going for Italian or going for a quarter pounder with fries and a beer. He didn't care. All he knew was that she had the capability of taking his stress and tossing it aside as he could relax and become himself in her presence. He relished the idea that he could get to know this beauty and perhaps take it a step farther than he had the spring before. Maybe this time he'd even allow himself to kiss her someplace other than her hand.
He put down one of the pieces of luggage that he carried with him and lifted his hand to knock. Jesus, but it was going to be good to see her. He could feel his breathing coming easier to him already. But then the easiness started to fade as she didn't come to the door immediately. What if she wasn't home? Hadn't she said she had started socializing more? What was that guy's name? Jesse Cassidy? Odd name, he thought to himself. One he'd never bestow upon his child for surely he was teased in school for having the combined names of two notorious outlaws of the west. Who would name their child after Jesse James and Butch Cassidy? Or maybe it was that other guy that she said she's been seeing lately. Didn't she say she was eating with him a lot—and it was dinnertime. Fear that perhaps she may not even live there anymore struck him and he knocked again, more insistently this time. Then he heard her.
"Wait! I'm coming!" She called and the sound of her sultry voice sent a jolt through him that he had nearly forgotten. Yes, this was what he had craved. Who was he kidding? This was what he had been hiding from every time he sat down at his desk to write her an email and decided it would be safer to just wait a little longer, maybe another week or so, until he'd contact her. That way he couldn't become too attached to her again. This was what had sent him running after Terri Miller; knowing the sight of the blonde would never arouse him as quickly as the memory of that ponytailed girl who stumbled into his classroom six months before. Jesus, she couldn't open the door fast enough so he could feast his eyes upon her slim beauty, so he knocked again. "Ben! You know I can't move as fast as I used to!"
She pulled the door open and he stood before her. His smile faded as his gaze moved down over her body, pausing at the swollen abdomen announcing her pregnancy.
"No," Grissom said quietly. "I guess you can't."
"Grissom," she breathed as she held her wallet with some bills in one hand and a box of tissues in her other. She was astonished. She didn't now what to say. "What are you. . .I mean. . .Grissom?"
He looked up at her reddened nose and eyes, clearly seeing that she had been crying then he dropped his eyes back down to her stomach. "You're. . .pregnant."
"Hey, Sara!" A teenage boy stepped up behind Grissom and startled him so badly he nearly dropped his other piece of luggage before turning to see the kid holding a box of pizza. "Sorry I'm a little late, but everyone seems to be hungry tonight at the same time."
"Thank you, Ben," she said as she took the pizza from him and handed him the money, realizing that "he" wasn't the insistent one after all, so decided he deserved his extra tip. "No, wait. I'll get more for your tip."
"Ah, that's okay," he chuckled as he looked at Grissom then turned and started back down the hallway. "You'll get me next time. I know you, you aren't about to share that pizza with anyone but junior in there. If this guy's hungry, I'll be making another trip back tonight. If not—I'll see you in two days for your Thursday night tomato and onion deep dish."
"Are you sure?" She called after him.
"Yep! Talk to ya later. I got about twenty more pizzas in the car and some of them are to be delivered to other pregnant ladies—and believe me—you don't want to keep pregnant ladies from their favorite pizza if you don't have to!"
Grissom watched all of this in silence, his head turning from one to the other as they spoke until finally the boy rounded the corner and was gone. Then he turned back and looked at Sara again. He didn't now what to say to her. The last thing he imagined was standing in her doorway and getting a hard on upon simply hearing her voice, then having her open the door and displaying an abdomen that had to be holding at least a five-month-old-fetus, if not older. It certainly made the erection dwindle rather quickly.
"You're—pregnant," he said again stupidly.
"Really?" She stood back and held the door for him, finding his accusation irritating. If anyone knew she was pregnant—she did! "Is that what's wrong? I was wondering why I felt so bloated all these months. Come in, please. Junior and I are hungry and want to eat."
He remained where he was until he saw how she started to tear up as she looked back at him. His blatant statement must have hurt her feelings and he suddenly felt like a giant oaf. He picked up his luggage and brought it inside, depositing it inside the door before following her to the bar that separated the kitchen area from the room with a television. She went to the cupboard and got down two plates and two glasses, then went to the refrigerator and got out some iced tea. She remained quiet as she put half of the pizza on each plate and poured the tea, placing a serving in front of where Grissom was standing, then taking one of the stools and pulling her food in front of herself. She hesitated as she looked up at him and wiped at her nose with a tissue.
"You're. . .pregnant."
"You already said that," she sniffed, her emotions getting the best of her again as she watched how he seemed absolutely disgusted with her. "Three times now." She picked up her pizza and put it to her mouth but couldn't seem to take a bite of it so returned it to her plate, turning eyes toward him that were tearing up again. She knew she was about to face the piper now that he had found out she was pregnant with his child and returned to San Francisco to confront her. "So, how did you figure it out?"
He looked at her in disbelief. He looked at her—that's how! "I wish you would have told me sooner. It would have prevented this awkwardness. You know, you had plenty of opportunities to fill me in during the past six months."
She nodded her head and sniffed then looked back at him. "I couldn't tell you. You were too busy with your own life in Vegas. You have Terri. I decided early on that I'd take care of this on my own."
"On your own?" He looked at her with disbelief. Surely she had told the child's father about the pregnancy.
"I thought it would be better that way," she said as she dropped her gaze.
"Despite what many believe, a father wants to be involved with his child."
"Really?" She looked up at him again and hope glimmered in her eyes. Perhaps he "was" interested in seeing the pregnancy through.
"Of course." He had the sudden urge to throttle the son-of-a-bitch who got his Sara pregnant and abandoned her.
"Okay," She smiled at him. If he planned to be involved in the pregnancy, did that mean he wanted to stay here—with her? "So—the luggage—are you going to be moving in here?"
"I—I hadn't considered it," he said with a lift of his brow. "What about Jesse?"
"Jesse?" She asked then realized he was talking about her phantom date from nearly six months ago. She felt rather foolish telling him there was no such man; that she merely came up with a name to try to make him jealous, so she altered the truth a bit. "No. Jesse's long gone. When he found out about the pregnancy, he split for good."
"I see." Grissom tensed his jaw. The bastard gets Sara pregnant then leaves her all alone. "Then I guess you're better off without him, aren't you?"
She smiled at him again. How sweet. He was willing to continue his association with her even thinking she had dated someone else after he had left. "Yes. Yes, I am. So, now that you know Jesse won't be interfering with my life anymore, are you considering staying here? Or would you rather stay in a place of your own? I can understand if you wouldn't want to stay here with me. I just. . .I don't know. . .thought it might be a good idea to have you around in case anything happens out of the ordinary with the pregnancy and I can rely on you to get me medical help if I'm not able to do it myself."
"Oh," he mumbled as he looked down over her body again. The dirty rotten bastard, he thought again. How can a man leave a woman on her own in a big city like this to raise his child. He could at least see to her safety while she's carrying the baby. But, evidently she got involved with a real loser. He sighed as he contemplated the thought. Well, things weren't going to turn out exactly as he had planned, but still, hadn't he put himself on guard to maintain a close but "not too close" friendship with Sara? It wouldn't hurt to stay in the same apartment as her so he could see that she was alright, and with her getting larger every day with another man's child, as she's bound to, he wouldn't have to worry about wanting to become intimate with her. They could simply maintain the friendship he was hoping for. "It "is" closer to the university. Are you sure it wouldn't be an inconvenience?"
"It might take a little getting used to. I'm used to living alone. I'm sure you are too." The happiness in her eyes disappeared as she looked at him again. "But what about Terri? You're not intending to involve her, are you? I mean, I know you're still in a relationship with her—but, I'd rather not have her involved with my baby."
"No. No, certainly not. I can understand that completely. Don't worry about Terri. I'm sure we'll still be able to maintain contact through emails. Everything should work out fine. Um—do you have an extra bedroom?"
"Um-yes." What had she expected? Him to jump right into her bed? He admitted that he was only there to see to the needs of the baby, after all he was still involved with Terri Miller. Okay, so they would be in separate rooms. So she got up from the stool and started across the living room and down a small hallway where there were three doors. She showed him a bedroom on each side, then a bathroom at the end. "It isn't much. But it will do until the baby's born."
He watched as she wiped her nose with the tissue again and he stopped and took her hand in his. "Sara. I can't say I'd be here if it hadn't been for the university contacting me. But now that I am, I want you to know that everything is going to be fine. I don't see a problem with an old science lecturer and a young CSI agent sharing a home and seeing that a baby is brought into this world in a safe manner. You don't have anything to worry about in that regard. I'll be here for the next two semesters, so if you want me to get a place of my own "after" the baby is born, I can understand that, so don't hesitate to let me know, okay?"
"The university contacted you?" She knit her brows. The university! Who in the hell would have told him she was pregnant? Well, she thought, any one of the professors who had worked with him and had seen her about the city—or, and this one really pissed her off—what about the three bimbos? Shannon Manstrum, Tiffany Price, and Kimberly Riley. They knew she and Grissom had been together that night—or at least they knew they were leading up to it. Did they see her somewhere and notice she was pregnant then put two and two together? They had to have contacted him or let someone know at the university. Oh well, she sighed. Too late to do anything about it now. The damage was already done.
He nodded his head yes. "When they invited me to teach four classes per semester. I have two day classes and two evening classes. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come back this early. I probably wouldn't have been back until after the baby was born."
"Okay. I see," she said as she slid her hand out of his and started walking back toward the kitchen area again. "I think this should work out fine. We'll just have to take this one step at a time, won't we?"
"Certainly. I think considering the circumstances, we can't ask for more than that." He tried to smile encouragingly at her as she sat on her stool again, but she sniffed loudly as she put her pizza to her mouth and bit into it. "It's going to be alright, Sara. I promise."
"Are you—are you going to stay—after the baby is born?" She tried to chew her pizza as she wiped her nose with a tissue again.
He couldn't help but smile at her. There she was, probably well into her second trimester, or perhaps entering into her third, and she looked so vulnerable and childlike that he just wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms to comfort her. But he remained on his side of the counter where she had put his plate of pizza. "I said I'll be here for several months after the baby is born."
"I see," she said again. So, he wasn't going to stick around to actually "watch" the child grow. Of course not—he probably got into enough trouble with Terri "the bitch—she-cow—tight-ass" Miller for even coming here that he'd be living in pure hell if he decided to actually be responsible for the child. "Well, we can't ask for more than that—can we?"
"I—um—know it must be very hard dealing with this, honey, but like you just said—we'll have to take it one step at a time," he tried to reassure her, feeling she knew the implausibility of him continuing to stay after his terms with the university were over, just was feeling rather exposed and sensitive right now. "Who knows, maybe Jesse will be back by then, wanting to step back into your life and take over."
Sara stiffened in her seat. God! He was so easily willing to push this child off onto another man, imaginary though he may be. Okay, if he wanted to be that callous, she'd play along with it. "Ya know, you're right. Maybe I should just call Jesse right now and get him to come back and pick up where we let off."
Grissom looked down at his untouched plate. "Would you like me to talk to him?"
"What?" She nearly choked on her pizza that she still had in her mouth, making her grab her tea and start swallowing it quickly before looking back at him. "No! I don't want you to talk to him! You'd have no reason to talk to him! Anyway, he left the city—I mean, the state—the country even! I can't get him on the phone right now!"
It was clear to Grissom that she was lying about knowing Jesse's whereabouts. She evidently was trying to protect him, even after what he had done to her. "It's up to you, Sara. I mean, if you feel Jesse should be here. I can understand and will go to the apartment the university rented for me. I only stopped here to see if you wanted to help me get situated."
"That's all?" She gulped down another set of tears.
"Sara," he sighed as he looked at her sadness and it tore at his heart as he reached across the counter and took her hand in his, ignoring the grease that was on her fingers. "How about if I just spend the night for starts? I mean, I'm back in San Francisco—you're here, alone—why not be alone together until we're sure what we want to do?"
She nodded her head then looked down at his hand, realizing he just got grease all over his palms. She handed him a napkin. "I'm sorry. Of course. You're right. I'll help you get settled in for the night then you can come back and eat. Evidently you're not very hungry right now."
"Actually," he said as he wiped his hands with the napkin then got up and picked up his luggage so he could follow her back to the bedroom on the left side of the hall. "I had something to eat while waiting in the airport before getting on the plain. The air sickness seems to go better if I have something in my stomach."
She opened the door and turned on the ceiling light as he walked in behind her and dropped his luggage at the foot of the bed. She gave him a small smile. "Motion sickness?"
"I'm afraid so." He returned her gentle gesture. "I'm not always good as a passenger in a car, either. Most of the time I'm okay—but sometimes, I'm rather put off by it."
"Me too. At least since getting pregnant."
"You suffered from hyperemesis gravidium?" he asked and she nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that. Did it last long?"
"All day—for about eight weeks." She went to the closet and pulled down a set of pillows, sheets and blankets. "But riding as a passenger in a car was the worst. Even driving, sometimes I'd have to pull over to throw up."
"But you're all better now?"
"Most of the time. But not one hundred percent. There are still times I can't hold my stomach. I still can't ride in cars unless I'm driving. At least that part's gotten better. I don't think I could do the airplane thing either. I never got sick like that before I was pregnant though. I must have gotten it from you."
"What do you mean?" He chuckled as he took the pillows from her and sat them on the dresser then turned back to get the sheet. "You can't catch hyperemesis."
"Well, not technically," She said as she helped him spread the sheet across the double-bed and put its fitted edges under the corners. "Evidently your weak stomach genes outnumbered mine."
"What?" He wasn't quite sure he had caught what she said. It was a rather jumbled sentence. "How'd I manage that?"
"By impregnating me." She started spreading the top sheet, not noticing how he stood on the opposite side of the bed watching her until she giggled. "I'm only kidding."
"Oh." He grabbed the other side of the top sheet and spread it out, then grabbed the pillows and put them at the head of the bed. "I knew that."
"Knew what?" She spread the blanket on the bed and he grabbed the other side.
"That you were kidding." He smiled at her again.
"Of course I was kidding." She spread the comforter over the bed and smoothed it with a wave of her hand over its surface then stood erect and looked at him. "You certainly didn't transfer weak stomach genes to me that night—only your sperm."
This time when he looked at her, waiting for the punch line, it didn't come. He looked more closely at the tender smile she was wearing and realized what she had just said. His knees suddenly seemed to turn to rubber and he subconsciously thanked the heavens above that there was a chair close by that he sank into. Jesus! He was staying with a psycho!