Chapter 12: Unintended
Dedication: To my Melly. I love you. Obviously. Thanks for "making" me write this.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, they own me...but Stephenie owns them so I guess she owns me. Thanks SM.
"You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before"
~ Unintended, Muse
"Ugh. Look at you. You've become one of those disgusting couples who can't stop looking at each other even when you're apart."
Bella looked over her shoulder to where Edward sat on her couch. He was pretending to give her a disgusted look, but she could see the humor in his green eyes. She turned back to her laptop and the picture that had prompted his comment. Her desktop background was a picture of Jasper. He'd just woken up, so his eyes were sleepy, but soft as he looked at her, and his hair was a honey blond mess around his head, sticking up everywhere. Bella smiled to herself, remembering his sleep-laden voice when he teased her. "I didn't know you were a photographer."
She'd knelt on the bed, snapping another picture of him as he stretched. "I'm thinking of becoming one of those photographers who specializes in only one subject."
Edward's snapping fingers drew her out of her pleasant memory. She looked at him, blinking as if in a little bit of a haze. Edward laughed. "God, you're so gross."
Rolling her eyes, Bella quickly reached over and snatched his cell phone out of his hands. She gave him a pointed look when she saw the person he was texting was, of course, Benjamin. Then she flipped to the home screen and raised an eyebrow at him, holding up the phone to show his background. It was a picture of Benjamin sitting on Edward's lap. Edward looked like he was biting his neck, and Benjamin was mid-full bodied laugh. It was a cute picture.
Grabbing back his phone as the text chime went off again, Edward sat back on the couch. "Whatever; it doesn't make you less disgusting."
With another roll of her eyes, Bella returned to her work. She reluctantly opened up the document she needed, covering Jasper's beautiful, bedroom eyes.
The two friends sat in silence for a few minutes before Edward spoke again. "So things with Jasper are going well?"
Again Bella smiled, a warm flush coming over her. It had been nearly two months since Jasper had finally stepped back into her life. There had been some missteps, of course. Besides being a new couple, they were also both new to serious relationships, but they were both learning.
"I'd say that's an understatement, but you knew that," Bella answered.
"Just wanted to hear you say it," Edward responded. "Benjamin has been wanting to double date, but we didn't want to step on your toes." He grinned at her, waggling his eyebrows. "Most couples want a little time to themselves at first. Easier that way, when you can't keep your hands off each other."
Bella quickly turned back to her laptop so he wouldn't see her blush. She cleared her throat, holding back a childish impulse to tell him exactly what they'd done on the couch, in the very same spot he was sitting on. "What did you have in mind?"
"Well, we have extra tickets to the theater," Edward suggested lightly.
"Oh, the theater. Jasper would love that. But I don't think he owns a tux," she said wistfully. Jasper would look fantastic in a tux.
"Don't worry about that. Benjamin and I will take him out. We'll get him fitted," he assured.
Bella turned around to give her friend the hairy eyeball. "You just want to ogle my boyfriend in the dressing room."
"That is entirely beside the point. He gets advice on a tux that will look fantastic on him - right cut, right length, all of that. If I accidentally get a glimpse of, well, whatnot, I will graciously ignore it like the gentleman I am," Edward said primly.
"Sure you will," Bella snorted. "I'll ask him. But if he agrees, you're going to keep your hands to yourself."
~0~
Jasper looked absolutely, jaw-droppingly stunning in his new tux. The cut of the fabric showed off his long, lean body perfectly. His hair was skirting the edge of tamed and unruly. He was delicious. He was hers.
As they approached the theater, Jasper kept tugging at his tie with the hand Bella wasn't holding. Bella stopped them, standing in front of him so she could fix the damage he'd done. "Was it too tight?"
"No," he answered, smiling as he watched her fuss with his tie. "I'm just not used to wearing one. That's all. It feels weird."
Bella stood on her tiptoes to kiss him quickly. "I don't like dressing up either."
His hands went to her waist as he looked her up and down, one side of his lips tugging upward as he grinned. "Have I told you that you look so beautiful tonight?"
"You might have mentioned it," Bella responded, tilting her head up for another, slightly longer kiss.
Over Jasper's shoulder she spied something that made her gasp. Then she narrowed her eyes.
"What is it?" Jasper asked, concerned.
She sighed. "Have I ever told you that the Cullen brothers are prone to meddling?"
"Meddling?" Jasper echoed.
Bella nodded her head at something a little ways away. Jasper turned, seeing Felix and Alice talking with Carlisle and Esme. He turned back to Bella. "Oh, I see."
"It's just ridiculous," Edward said a little while later when Bella demanded he explain himself. "Alice misses you. You miss Alice."
Squeezing Jasper's hand, Bella glared at her friend. "It's not just about forcing us together again. Whether it's deserved or not, Alice has an automatic reaction to Jasper's presence."
"It's a matter of conditioning," Edward responded. When she gave him a hard look he rushed to explain. "Bella, think about it. Are we going to go the rest of our lives walking on eggshells? I want to be able to invite both of you to a party. Or think about Carlisle and Esme. When they, inevitably, get married what are you going to do? Esme would want Jasper there, and you know Carlisle loves you and Alice both.
"Right now they are all the way across the theater from us. Alice is aware you're here, but she's not going to panic. It's just a matter of getting her used to Jasper as a positive presence in her life again." Edward's eyes flitted up to Jasper's and he smiled warmly before looking back to Bella. "Alice still loves you, sweetheart. She still wants good things for you. The more she sees how happy you are with Jasper, the more she'll overwrite negative feelings with positive ones."
Bella sighed but smiled at her well-meaning friend. "You can't fix everything that's been broken, Edward."
"No, but I can try."
~0~
As months went by, Edward, Carlisle and Esme continued with their campaign to set right what had gone terribly wrong. Despite many awkward moments, it must have worked because one day, Alice showed up outside Bella's door unannounced.
There was a nervous tightness about her eyes, but nothing as strong as the visible shaking and hand-wringing the entire situation had brought on monhts before.
"Hi," Bella said on a breath, completely surprised.
"Hey," Alice responded, her lips twinging just slightly. "Um. Can I talk to you?"
Bella blinked sporadically, realizing that she was being rude. "Yeah. Come in. Sorry," she said hurriedly, stepping aside.
They went into the living room, and Bella hated the uncomfortable atmosphere that existed between them. It wasn't the first time she'd missed her best friend since this whole debacle began, but it seemed to ache more given that Alice was right in front of her.
They sat down, facing each other, and Bella waited. She had to fight back when, after all the months of silence and stilted conversation, the words flowed like water. As usual, Alice began in the middle of a conversation. Bella was surprised at how much she'd missed that particular quirk.
"I don't know. I was making plans the other day with Jane." Alice's nose scrunched up as she said Felix's younger sister's name. Jane could be... unpleasant. "I just kept thinking that you should be there. I wanted you there instead of Jane. And then I got all self righteous, thinking that you should have thought of that before you slept with my ex-husband."
Alice looked up, her uncertain eyes meeting Bella's as a small smile graced her features. "And then I started laughing. Jane thought I was going insane. But it's all so... I don't know. When did my life turn into a soap opera, you know?"
Carefully, Bella smiled back, laughing lightly under her breath. "Truth can be stranger than fiction." She paused, biting her lip before looking at her friend with all seriousness. "Alice... I don't... I never meant to hurt you. Everything was just so..." she gestured helplessly. There wasn't any excuse, but she felt like it would be better if Alice at least had a reason.
"You don't have to explain."
"I do!" Bella protested.
"No, I mean you don't have to explain because I think I get it," Alice interrupted.
Bella furrowed her eyebrows. "You do?"
"Yeah, I know you," Alice said sadly. "I thought about how it was from your point of view. Here was this beautiful man - because he is still beautiful, even I can admit that - who gave up everything to help a woman, no, a girl who never had the common sense to see the good thing that was right in front of her.
"Then ..." Alice breathed out in one whoosh, "just everything... everything went wrong for him. His wife left him. He was stuck in limbo for years." She looked up, her teary eyes filled with guilt. "If that's not worth a pity fuck, what is?"
Bella flinched, not sure where to even start with that. "Alice-"
"No," Alice waved her off. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong." She grumbled under her breath and stood, pent up energy giving her the need to move. "This is very confusing for me. I have... so many years of anger... it just feels like it's in my blood. I feel... horrible about what I put him through, and I hate that I feel horrible because most of the time he still ... the bad guy still has his face in my mind." She laughed wryly at how ridiculous it sounded.
"None of that is your fault, Alice," Bella pointed out, wanting to go to her friend but stuck in her seat until she knew how Alice would react.
Alice stopped her restless pacing and plopped down on the couch as quickly as she'd begun. "Like I said, Bella. I know you. I know it was more than just a pity fuck. I know that... you love him. Love makes us all do crazy things. Love in that situation... well, I wish for our sake it hadn't happened that way. But it did."
She paused, taking another deep breath before looking up at Bella. "I think that we've both suffered enough for it. I miss you. I want my friend back."
Bella didn't say a word. Instead she got up and all but ran to Alice on the couch. For long minutes, the two of them hugged. Bella squeezed Alice so hard the smaller woman squeaked. "Oops," Bella said, loosening her hold but not letting go of Alice entirely. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
Alice sniffled and laughed. "I forgot how exuberant you are."
Bella laughed but then the sound choked off with a short sob. "I'm so sorry."
"Shh," Alice soothed. "I know." They rocked each other back and forth for a few minutes. "Bella, come to the wedding. I need you there."
"Of course."
~0~
Bella came out of the bathroom with a towel tucked around her, using another towel to dry her hair. She stood in front of the mirror, zoning out a little as she worked. She was brought back to the present as a socked foot traced a toe along the inside of her leg. Her smile spread, sending a now familiar warmth through her.
"Jasper," she said warningly, but she couldn't keep amusement out of her eyes as she met his in the mirror.
"What?" he asked innocently, but his foot continued up her leg, lifting the towel as it went. His lips pursed as his eyes traveled slowly down her body. Bella felt her skin grow heated under his gaze, hunger stirring in her at the look that crossed his face. His eyes met hers again. "You're not wearing any underwear."
"I haven't gotten there yet," she responded evenly, her voice gravely.
"Hmm," he hummed, shifting and sitting on the edge of the bed, directly behind her. "That could be convenient."
He put both of his pointer fingers at the upper center of her back, skirting the edge of the towel as he worked them slowly toward her front. Bella threw the towel in her hands down on the dresser, watching his fingers move toward her front, where the towel that was wrapped around her was clinched. "I have to get ready," she said, but her protest was weak.
He snorted lightly, his eyes still on hers in the mirror. "You always get ready at least an hour before you need to." His eyes sparked mischievously as he crooked one finger in the clinch of the towel and tugged, sending the fabric cascading down to her feet. He let his fingers trace nonsensical patterns against her skin, over her breasts, pressing lightly on her nipples. "There's so much we can do with a spare hour," he said, his lips tickling her back as he spoke. Bella sighed as she felt moist kisses against her back.
When her knees started to get weak Bella leaned forward, putting her hands on the dresser. She was almost sitting on his lap. He wasn't wearing anything other than his boxer shorts, and she swore she could feel heat radiating from his skin, drawing her closer.
He was comfort.
He was home.
Jasper stood then, his hands starting on her hips before inching their way down. Bella ground her ass against his boxer-covered length, feeling how he was growing hard for her. His breath shuddered in her ear as his hands found her thighs. He guided her legs apart, then returned one hand to her hip while the other began to rub against her center.
Bella remembered their first time together - how words like gentle and slow seemed abhorrent. She needed him inside her, quickly. Their minutes together were numbered and every second they spent apart seemed like a waste.
Now, though, sex between them was completely different. Of course, there were those days of hard and fast, when their need for each other was urgent and he bent her over the kitchen table or she straddled him on the couch. But there was never desperation in their lovemaking, and days like today they could luxuriate in a slow, steady, building burn for each other.
Jasper was in no rush, using his talented fingers and deep, sexy voice to show and tell her exactly what he felt. His fingers teased her, making her whimper and thrust against his hand. He whispered to her as his fingers slid inside of her, making her gasp. She answered his playful questions with throaty, teasing responses of her own and answered the dirty-sweet things he said with low moans of pleasure.
When Bella was sure she was on the brink of insanity with the need to have him inside her, she spun. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him until they were both breathless, and making sure every inch of her nude body was pressed against his.
He grunted against her lips, holding her around the waist so he could turn them around. When their lips parted he pushed her gently onto the bed. "Lay down," he commanded, and Bella obeyed quickly, scooting up so her head rested on the pillows at the head of the bed.
Jasper quickly kicked off his boxers and went to kneel between her spread legs. He ran his hands over her belly, raising goosebumps of pleasure, and then down to the backs of her knees. He lifted first one leg, then the other, over his shoulders, and then ran the head of his cock along her slit.
"You want this, baby?" he asked, grinning down at her. With that seductive smile, she would have gladly taken him any way he asked.
"Now. Please," she begged, her hands gripping his arms.
As he began to thrust inside of her, he widened his stance so his legs were spread as he knelt between hers. His hands gripped her just above her knees, giving him the ability to slip deep inside her as he found a steady tempo. Bella gasped as he found that elusive sweet spot . Her eyes nearly rolled back into her head, but she found the pleasure of looking into his eyes too great. The connection between them as they moved together was not one she wanted to break. Bella reached her hands up, threading her fingers with Jasper's above her knees and rising slightly off the bed to meet each one of his thrusts.
He whispered, "I love you," when their rhythm was still slow and easy because he'd told her once that it seemed more sincere than if he'd waited until the height of orgasm.
Regardless, he said it again then.
Afterward, they laid together quietly, enjoying the intimate silence that settled over them in their post-coital state. Bella reflected how much had changed about Jasper since she'd met him nearly a year before.
As they'd grown together as a couple, Bella had found more of the playful side of him that she'd only barely glimpsed in Forks. He always made her laugh, and seemed to enjoy laughing right along with her. It was such a difference from the man she'd first met - the weight of his struggles reflecting in his tired, blue-gray eyes.
Bella knew that she'd fallen in love with Jasper in Forks, but the man he was now was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. It was almost frightening how certain she was of that one fact. She'd never known someone as well and completely as she knew him, and never been known - for every fault and every secret and every minute facet - as he knew her.
And because they knew each other so well, Bella knew that there was something wrong. It was a no-brainer, today of all days.
It was bound to be an off-day when your ex-wife was getting married.
"Talk to me," Bella commanded quietly, stroking her fingers through his hair as he laid his head on her chest.
"I thought you had to get ready," he deflected but made no move to leave.
Bella tugged on his hair gently. A warning. She knew him better than that. Something had been bothering him all day and while she could guess what it was, she needed him to put it in his own words. Jasper sighed.
"I don't know, it's not anything really," he began. "It's just a little surreal. I know, technically speaking, that my marriage to Alice only lasted a few months. But all those years, she was part of me - even though she wasn't there."
He raised his head, scooting up so he could lay beside her on the pillows. Tenderly, he ran the pad of his finger over her lips, tracing the line of her jaw. "I need you to know I'm happy, Bella. I didn't really know I could be this happy, or that life could be this way."
Bella smiled back at him, wrapping her hand around his wrist so she could still his fingers. She kissed his fingertips and waited for him to continue.
"I guess it's just a little surreal today. I spent so much time thinking about the day I could give her this - a fairytale wedding surrounded by all of our family and friends." He smiled, a little sadly. "Today it feels like I stepped into an alternate universe. Here I am, completely in love with another woman, and honestly happy for my ex-wife, who's marrying a man who isn't me."
She studied his eyes. "What else?" she prompted gently. Jasper was learning that he didn't always have to show a stiff upper lip when things bothered him. Sometimes she had to prompt him, not letting him fall into old habits of hiding his pain away, no matter how minute.
A few moments passed as Jasper looked down, threading their fingers together as he tried to formulate an answer. He grumbled slightly under his breath. "It's just a domino effect. I got to thinking about all the time I've wasted. I'm 28 years old. I have no career. No family. No idea what I'm really going to do with my life." He sighed. "It feels weird sometimes. You going off to work while I stay home and study. It feels... off balance."
"Jasper," she admonished gently. "How can you say you've wasted all your time?" She shook her head. "Do I have to break this down It's a Wonderful Life style?"
Jasper looked at her, bemused. "What are you talking about?"
"For a very smart man, you are being a little dumb," she said teasingly. "Think about what your life has meant to other people. You gave Alice a second chance. If you hadn't been there for her, James would have eventually come back - just like he did - and then what? She probably would have gone back to him.
"And then Esme. You want to know a secret?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows comically.
"Of yours, doll? Always," Jasper said, his smile getting wider and easier as the distant misery faded from his eyes.
"Esme's pregnant," Bella revealed.
"You're kidding," Jasper's grin then was radiant. "That's... wow. Carlisle must be over the moon."
"He's jazzed," Bella agreed. "And if you hadn't been there for her when she needed you, she probably would have missed that chance - to be a mother, and to know how it felt to be loved by a real man."
Jasper was silent for a second, then he rolled over, propping himself up on one arm. "Do you know?"
"How it feels to be loved by a real man?" she asked. He nodded and she smirked at him. "Weren't you here, what was it, 10 minutes ago?"
He leaned in, running the tip of his nose along her shoulder. "Maybe you should remind me," he suggested, pressing his lips to her skin.
Bella swiftly, though reluctantly, rolled away from him, standing and retrieving her towel from where it had been so thoughtlessly discarded before. "Now I really do have to get ready, seeing as I have to shower all over again." She pretended to send him a disparaging grin, but then smiled and leaned forward, kissing him once before she disappeared back into the bathroom.
When she emerged Jasper had rearranged himself on her bed. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and had his schoolbooks spread around him - all business. In the short time he'd been back at school, Jasper had proved he had a love of learning. As if she needed more reasons to love him.
He looked up and whistled as his eyes devoured her. "That's… a very nice dress."
Bella flushed, pleased with his compliment. "It's from the Volturi line, of course. Since it was too late to make me maid-of-honor, Alice said I had to wear one of her father-in-law's favorite dresses." She smoothed down the silky fabric self consciously. "You really think I can pull it off?"
Jasper laughed, shaking his head at her. "If you don't leave soon, I'll be pulling it off for you," he said with a wink.
Smiling, Bella went to the edge of the bed and leaned down for one last kiss. She stroked his cheek, easily spotting the slight ache he was trying to hide from her. She bit her lip, considering.
"Bella," Jasper said warningly, "don't even thinking about it. Go. Be there for Alice. I'm fine, I promise."
With a small sigh, Bella kissed him again. "I love you," she said, earning the grin that made her heart full to bursting. She smiled back and then stood, turning to leave before she got distracted all over again.
When she got to the church, Edward and Benjamin walked up to her car. She was glad because the smattering of camera people who were hanging around outside were somewhat intimidating.
"There you are!" Edward exclaimed, opening her door. "I was beginning to worry. You're never this late."
"We still have half an hour," she defended. "I got held up."
Standing to Edward's side, Benjamin snickered and put on a saucy grin. "I'll bet you got held up. Your legs got held straight up in the air, I'd wager."
Bella flushed bright red, completely negating any attempt she would make to dispel that assumption. She smacked Benjamin's shoulder.
"Don't worry," he said, laughing. "That freshly sexed up glow looks fantastic. Especially with that dress."
This time Edward smacked his shoulder, but then both men started laughing in earnest.
"Oh, sure. Great friends you are. Laughing at my expense," she said disparagingly, marching past them to get to the church.
"Don't be mad, sweetheart," Edward said as they both caught up to her. Each of them looped an arm around hers. Edward leaned in close to her ear. "He's one to talk. He was in much the same position earlier today."
Benjamin snickered, completely unashamed. "Exactly. Takes one to know one," he said softly, making Bella blush all over again.
Inside the church the ceremony began right on time. It was, like the decorations, lavish without being overdone. Perfect Alice.
There was a part of Bella that ached. She should be standing beside her best friend, where Jane was standing now. Instead, she was sitting in the audience as a supportive spectator. It felt wrong, and she almost wished that things were different.
But then, Bella realized that it was the sum of all the bad things that had brought the possibility of this particular happily ever after. That she knew Alice at all was a direct result of a life gone wrong; without James's abuse, the accident that stole her memories and her unborn child, and even the counselor that sparked the idea of escape in her, Alice would never have ended up in front of the counselor's office.
And Jasper…. All the time she spent wishing she could undo the things that had hurt him, but at what cost?
Their hands joined as they recited their vows, Alice and Felix looked radiant. Their happiness seemed to fill the room, like a choir echoing against the cathedral ceilings. On her right Carlisle sat with his arm around Esme, his other hand resting on her still flat belly. They were smiling so broadly Bella imagined their faces would hurt by the end of the day.
Bella felt a warm, soft hand in hers and looked to her left. Edward smiled at her, squeezing her fingers tightly before looking back to Alice and Felix. His other hand was wound with Benjamin's – another happy couple.
No, she decided. It was regrettable that bad things happened, but there was no room in life for regret. Surrounded by wonderful people, her best friend standing in front of her only seconds away from what promised to be wedded bliss, and an amazing man who would greet her with a smile and a kiss when she got home.
This was what happily ever after looked like.
A/N: So, imma leave the obligatory epic thank you a/n until the epilogue which I hope to post before the week is out.
This story's Tanya - who will make a reappearance in the epi - is currently featured in the the poll over at the Project Team Beta site. If you're interested in voting for her or one of the other Tanyas, go here:
tinyurl (dot) com/4zcz255
Thanks to josieswan and barbaurella for everything they do for me. Thanks to you for reading. Mwah.