Hello world! Or, well, less than one percent of it because of the very few (but awesome!) readers I have. That and the fact that there's...seven billion people living in the world? I'm not sure. Anyone know?
Shoutouts to CandenciaDj, CC Rainbow Unicorn, and Lilly Aldean for reading! Nothing for Mewcat or Jessie because they were mean to me today. JK, JK, they're never mean (unless I'm being extremely annoying).
"Hello?" Astra mumbled groggily into her phone. Whoever was calling better have a good reason. It was her day off and only ten o'clock in the morning (My friend actually called me once at ten AM when I was sleeping). Just to emphasize how the penguin better not be annoying her for fun, Astra added in dramatically, "What do you want from my life? It's FREAKING TEN IN THE MORNING!"
"Well, it looks like no one was joking when they said you were a lazy bum that hated waking up early," the penguin on the other end grumbled (If you go to my school, can you guess who called me at ten?). Astra recognized the voice as Jet Pack Guy's. Typical. "I need absolutely nothing from your mentally unstable life, thank you very much."
"HEY!" Astra protested, yawning after that. Now it wasn't as effective anymore. That stinks. "I am not mentally unstable! Crazy people don't know that they're crazy, and I know that I am not insane, so therefore, I am not mentally unstable! Now, what do you need? This better be good, because you already put me in a grouchy mood."
Jet Pack Guy snorts indifferently, setting Astra off. This guy was going to get on her last nerve. "Aunt Arctic took a break today, apparently. Dot requests for your presence at the studio even though I don't think we-"
"Jet Pack Guy, DUCK!" an Australian accent that could only belong to PH rang out. There was crashing and screaming in the background.
"How did a duck get in-OOMF!" Astra rolled her eyes at that. Obviously, PH meant that Jet Pack Guy was supposed to get down to avoid something.
"Quack!" came over the speakers, blasting almost as loud as My Chemical Romance's Welcome to the Black Parade (Love this song!). Astra flinched as more quacks followed, accidentally hitting the FaceTime app.
"What the-?!" Smack dab on the screen was a bright orange blob. Astra muttered some unpleasant things about incompetent (See, I'm not completely stupid! I can use big words!) EPF agents making complete fools of themselves before demanding that the orange blob show itself or else (Okay, so maybe I do have some mental problems...).
"Jet Pack Guy, you better have a completely logical explanation for this!" Astra shouted at the phone. She made a mental note to go to a therapist or a psyche ward. Yelling at inanimate objects was not healthy for her, no matter how insane she was.
There was scuffling on the other end and the blob was pretty much destroying Jet Pack Guy's phone. The blob was smashing down against the phone over and over again, which was why Jet Pack Guy was screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Fine, don't answer me," Astra huffed after several more minutes of watching the blob and Jet Pack Guy fight. She hung up and rolled back into bed, burying herself under the covers. The soft pillow comforted the pounding headache she was getting from being called at ten o'clock for absolutely nothing. The mattress sank down slightly, adjusting to the weight placed on it. The blankets were warm but cool to touch at the same time. Astra's eyelids grew heavier and closed over her eyes, darkness obscuring her vision. She drifted off to dreamland, free of stress and loud noises that-
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BE-!
Astra grabbed her phone, hit the answer button, and yelled, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE?! IT'S MY DAY OFF TODAY! WHAT POSSIBLY COULD'VE GONE WRONG ALREADY?! IT'S FREAKING TEN IN THE MORNING!" (Should really sign myself up for some anger management classes too...)
"WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!" the other penguin shouted. Astra recognized the voice immediately as Rookie's.
"Who died, Rookie?" Astra grumbled, sitting up in bed and getting dressed as she held the phone between her shoulder and ear. If Rookie was calling because of an emergency, something was definitely wrong. His original definition of an emergency is when the refrigerator doesn't have any donuts or when the Pizza Parlor can't supply him with his pizza pies, but after Lake Blue gave him an extremely long lecture about the reasons why running out of food can't be considered an emergency, he rarely called about any disasters. When Herbert planted a bomb in the EPF Headquarters, Rookie was the only one there. He didn't call for backup until Dot arrived and asked him, "Rookie, what's in the microwave?"
Well, "who died" was the wrong question to ask, because that set Rookie off immediately. "WHAT?!" he shrieked. Astra jerked away from the phone at his high-pitched outburst. "SOMEONE DIED?! ASTRA, WAS IT YOU?" (Genius in the making here)
"Yes, it was me," she replied sarcastically, heading out the door to the studio where the show was being filmed. "It totally explains how I'm talking to you on the phone right now, and how Jet Pack Guy called me literally two minutes ago."
"PH!" Rookie cried out. Astra started her stopwatch to see how long it would take for Rookie to realize that she was being sarcastic. If someone else told him, that would add a minute to the number of seconds that passed. "Astra's not with us anymore!" he wailed. "She's gone forever!"
"Rookie, I'm busy!" PH snapped as another crashing sound came from the background. "Go tell your story to someone else!"
"Skye!" Rookie exclaimed, the sound of his webbed feet thumping loudly against the floor in panic. Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty...
"Skye!" Rookie panted. "I need to tell you something-"
"AHHHH!" Skye screamed. Astra rolled her eyes. How is it that he has a fear of propeller hats even though the penguin's been involved with the film industries for years? Some of the costumes worn by actors must require them to wear propeller hats, right?
"Am I dead too?" Rookie panicked. Thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven... "Is that why everyone is running away from me?"
Correction, Astra thought to herself, PH told you to go away.
"Gary!" Rookie sobbed. Forty, forty-one, forty-two...
"Rookie, I'm not dead," Astra grumbled into the phone, stopping the stopwatch. She could see the building where Club Penguin Talk Show was being filmed. "When I said 'who died,' I wanted to know what was wrong. That's just a phrase I use to ask 'what's wrong?' because 'what's wrong' is too boring."
"-and she asked me 'who died?' and then she told me that it was her!" Rookie bawled as Gary, apparently, listened intently. "And then-"
"Rookie, slow down," G said. Realization must've struck him because he followed up with, "Wait a minute, who told you that Astra was d-"
"DON'T SAY THE WORD!" Rookie interrupted. Astra hung up on Rookie because she already walked into the building and was making a beeline towards Rookie and Gary who were standing outside the doors of the set.
Gary looked up from Rookie and spotted Astra before glancing back down at the Comm. lead wailing at his feet. "Erm, Rookie?" he asked. "You know Astra's standing over there, watching you break down."
Rookie looked up and paled. "AHH!" he shrieked, barreling down the hall. "A GHOST IS AFTER ME!"
Astra waved a flipper when Gary opened his beak to speak. "Never mind him," she sighed, wondering how Rookie had entered the ranks of the EPF. "What's the big emergency that led to both Jet Pack Guy and Rookie calling me for help when it's my day off? I should be at home, sleeping or eating food."
Gary looked nervous and gestured to the doors. Astra pulled them open and stared at the scene before her, stunned and surprised at the disaster zone that used to be full of state-of-the-art equipment.
Not a very good ending to this chappie, but its twelve in the morning and I'm feeling drowsy and hyper at the same time.
Oh yeah, back in...what, chapter three, I think it was? I remembered what I wanted to say! In England, people call cupcakes fairy cakes. Or, at least that's what I think...I'm not very good at remembering facts, am I?
I was going to say something else, but now I forgot...again.