I woke up the next morning, and sat up from beneath my covers and stretched. I felt a cool puff of air hit my chest, causing me to shiver. I looked down at my torn shirt, the memory of last night rushing back into my brain. I sat silently for a few more moments, letting everything sink in again, rethinking everything. What had I seen in his eyes last night?

I got out of bed, rubbing my eyes, and headed towards my bureau. As I opened them back up, I saw four roses sitting on the top. I gasped softly, taking my hands up to my face. One red and black one stood alone, strong and beautiful, its colors radiating. A little while down, saw a slightly duller similarly colored one, and directly next to it a green and gold rose, just as bold and strong as the first red and black. And farther down the dresser, at the very edge, there was one dying, wilting rose, the green and gold fading into nothing.

I felt a tear running down my cheek, and I brushed it off. It was a beautiful display, and quite possibly the least subtle thing I had ever seen. I knew it was an apology, and a plea for forgiveness, but I wasn't ready to just forgive and forget that easily. Mostly because the situation is more serious than to be easily solved by roses, which I believe is well known by both parties. And partially because I have this little voice in the back of my head called my experience, and it was saying that this could be useful later on if I hold a grudge.

I stripped myself of my nightwear and stepped into the shower, melting away some of the left over outright hatred that my heart was heavy with. I got out, dried my hair, and wrapped myself with a towel. To soothe my nerves, I peeked out of the bathroom door to check the vacancy of the room. Satisfied that is was void of any enchantments, people, or magic of any kind, I stepped out. I walked over to my bedroom door, and turned the lock, waiting for the solid click. In spite of my belief in his apology, I quickly sealed the door completely off with an enchantment. I sighed, and walked back to get dressed. As I finished lacing the top of my flowing gown, I heard a knock on my door. I looked outside, and saw the sun had risen a little over the horizon, signaling that I was about to be late for morning meal. As I walked to the door, my makeup appeared and my hair fell into a wavy, well placed half up ponytail. I disenchanted the door, slowly undid the lock, and opened the door to my husband's face. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, with eyes that were rimmed red and swollen slightly from crying looking down at the floor.

"Would my queen like to be escorted to morning meal?" his had his fingers half intertwined, which I knew from being with him long enough that that was his subconscious signal of his distress. It crossed my brain for a brief second that it wasn't such a subconscious signal as it was what he did if he were trying to manipulate someone, but I dismissed this thought almost immediately after. I know when someone is trying to manipulate me immediately, for trying to manipulate me is like trying to lie to Loki; it will never go unnoticed.

I took his face and gently turned it until he was looking at me. I left my hand there for a few seconds more before retracting it. His eyes held my gaze for a few seconds more before his eye fell to the floor once again. I sighed inwardly at his despair, for even if he did deserve every second of it, he wore it on his face like an innocent child, which touched my heart. He straightened his posture slightly and held out his arm to me. I took it, and together we walked down into the hall.

I wanted to kiss my husband, but I didn't trust him. And hopefully, I think he understood. We walked into the main hall, most of the others already there. Thor greeted me with what was supposed to be a pat on the back, but actually knocked the wind out of me. Sif came over and greeted me in her normal, regal way, and then lead me away from Loki and to my spot next to her.

"Okay, so I need to know something." She said mock seriously. "What happened last night?"

My breathing stopped slowly. Did she know something? Does everyone know what happened? I contained my discomfort with effort. "What do you mean?"

Sif rolled her eyes. "Between you and me, I'm a warrior. And more so, I'm a woman. I can tell when something's up, and you two walking together that close seemed a little…" she searched for the right word. "Forced. So what happened? Does it have something to do with why Loki was getting roses from the palace garden this morning?"

I let out a minor sigh of relief. This was based on why he was getting roses, nothing more. Sif was trying to get me out of comfort so she could acquire even deeper information. A good battle tactic, something I should have expected from her. She is our best warrior after all. I smirked, and found myself slipping into a habit and skill of mine that my husband helped me fine tune. Lying.

"It was just a sweet gesture. Nothing wrong with that, is it warrior?" She looked at me skeptically. I am the goddess of manipulation, which does require lying. But when not trying to manipulate anyone… my tongue is quite a bit less than silver.

"Loki, being sweet for the sake of being sweet. Without trying to get anything out of it. If that were to happen I would execute myself." I laughed, being caught in a lie. At the least, she did not take offense to it. Sif is an amazing warrior and a trustworthy friend, but she can take offense to things that could insult her intelligence in anyway. Something that, while I admire it, can turn against me.

"Fine. To simply state it, Loki and I got into a bit of a quarrel last night, and that was his way of trying to make up for it. Nothing serious." She stared at me for a few moments, and then seemed satisfied with my answer. She looked over at Thor and nodded slightly. I laughed at this. Were they all seriously concerned because Loki gathered roses? Though if it took this to make him gather roses, I suppose they should be.

The food came out and the boisterous arguing and drinking began almost immediately. I looked over at Loki, hoping that he wouldn't be drinking again. To my great pleasure, he was not, but was staring at the ale with pain in his eyes. His eyes started to cloud up slightly again, fear pulling my heart to a stop. I gently touched his arm, and he jumped slightly. I looked up at him desperately, pleading with him silently. Loki closed his eyes and shook his head, and when he opened them the cloudiness was gone. He continued to eat his food in a strained manner, until he excused himself without much note and left the hall.

Sif looked at me, clearly biting back some sort of retort. I was a queen, after all, so there was a little respect there. Not a lot, for I wasn't known for overreacting to the slightest insult, but enough to keep her from outright sarcasm. She didn't need to say anything; though her eyes said everything. Just a little quarrel, nothing to worry about? You're story seems to have a Loki shaped hole in it. I know she was right, but I couldn't tell her. She would have Loki's head if she found out what he had done, and Loki had been through and put them through enough that I didn't need to add my own personal problems to the list of resentment between everyone.

I waited for the rest of the company to be done before I left for the weaponry. I had always found an out lit in dueling. I preferred a sword, not necessarily the doubled bladed one like Sif's, but a simple long blade. I had one in particular that I used, and Sif had said that it had claimed me as it's own. Sif had said its name was "Edes Halal" or "Sweet Death." It's a beautiful name for a beautiful sword. Not that anyone has met there end at the edge of this sword; at least, not by my hand. I don't know what others have held this sword, or if any ever had. The beauty of creations is that you don't know the past of them, but you can make their futures.

I took a few practice jabs at one of the sitting dummies, but no satisfaction came of that. I needed adrenaline pumping, mind scrambling fight to take my mind off of last night. Something that would threaten my life so that I could push past everything else and just let my instincts take over. I could feel heat rushing to my face as I continued to attack the dummy, every second of last night replaying in my mind. Emotions spilling over, working through the haze of hate and fear and trying to find a way out of my own mind. I was so caught up in my fighting, that when someone made the wooden floor creek behind me, I freaked out, spun around and put my sword to their neck.

Who I saw behind me was an old friend who's paths hadn't crossed mine in quite a long time. Diviana stood behind me, hands up in an "I surrender" position, hazel eyes widened with fear. Slowly, she pushed the blade down away from her, staring into my eyes as she went. Her eyes held no judgment, but knowledge, for she knew me to well and could guess why I had worked myself up so much. She didn't know any exact details, but she has known me for a very long time.

"So," she said when the blade was well away from her. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" It had come out a little more aggressively than I had meant it to. She had been my friend before I was in any position of power, let alone a goddess, and she had always been there. She had almost seemed to thrive off of my bitching about my life, as if it gave her some sort of internal peace to help. She had said it gave her something to "pretend to be concerned about". She always had a way of letting things run off of her, never retaining hate or anger. That just added to my own anger. I was beyond pissed, and with adrenaline seeping through my veins, pushing the anger further, I didn't care that she had always been there to help. "Why would you even care?"

She did not look taken aback by this at all. She was used to my fits, even if this one was a little more fueled with hate. "Every Goddess needn't use her abilities all of the time. Even one who's powers are as simple as mine." She chuckled slightly. "Being able to be indifferent about things does not mean I do not care about the mental state of my queen," she stated, eyes staring hardly at me. Then, her eyes softened slightly. "And, my friend." She said.

I stared at her intently. "Do you really feel the need to distinguish the fact that I am your friend?" Anger surged through me, and for some reason the smallest things were setting me off. I looked down at my sword hanging loosely by my side, not being able to meet her gaze; whether that was out of shame or something else, I couldn't tell.

She put her hand on my shoulder. "No. But I would hope it would show that my loyalty goes beyond just being under your reign." I looked back up into her face, and when I saw the kindness, my drive of anchor in anger melted and I fell on my knees, sobbing.

She lifted me to my feet gently and guided me out of the weaponry and, using vacant servant passages, led me to her room. She sat me on her bed, and sat beside me, her arm pulled around me.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened, or do you need to cry for a little bit?" Her tone was sweet, which made me cry even more. I was mad at myself for crying. I was supposed to be a strong leader, a goddess, a queen. I needed to be strong, but something about for once receiving pity from someone who wasn't going to murder someone made something inside of me break down a little bit.

I cried for a solid five minutes before I could even breathe enough to pick up my head and look at my friend's face. "You better now?" she asked, her arm squeezing me against her. I nodded and let out a shaky breath.

"It's just…" I have never been good at telling people my emotions when they are real. It has and always will be a pain for me to do. But I had trusted Diviana before any of this surreality came to be, and she had never betrayed that trust.

I spilled to her the entire story, every detail, every feeling, every word. Down to the hate I felt and, beyond my better judgment, Loki's clouded eyes. She sat there and listened to the entire story, never interrupting once. Then at the end she just wrapped both of her arms around me and held me for a long time, letting me cry the rest of the tears I had been holding back since last night.