CHAPTER 8
Mark is beginning to overcome the adverse reactions of the drug given to him by the Spectran prostitute, with Princess in the role of caregiver. She accidentally discovers an item from Mark's past that quite possibly could shed some light on his previous self-destructive behavior. When confronted, however, Mark makes a startling confession that even Princess was unprepared to hear. Once more I apologize for the long delay; again family and work take precedence. Thanks to those of you who remain interested.
How much more of this can he take? Princess thought as she sponged Mark's forehead with a cool cloth; her worried eyes ever watchful for any changes in his condition. Mark had managed to fight off the fever; time spent in the bathtub submerged in tepid water helped but the remains of the illness were still within the confines of his body. The body aches, the perfuse sweating, and nausea with vomiting had pummeled him; leaving him even more exhausted than before. After the bath, Jason had helped Princess guide a semi-conscious Mark back to his bed. Jason returned to the kitchen while Princess readied Mark for bed, helping him into his boxers, and sitting with him until the restlessness left his tired body.
She sighed heavily and placed the cloth aside, her eyes never leaving the figure lying now motionless in bed. Seeing Mark so helpless and feeling as if though she couldn't do enough, Princess leaned forward and began stroking at the damp mahogany hair clinging to his moist brow. "What are you hiding Eagle?" she whispered. "What provoked such misery in you that you felt it necessary to die? And what does Matthew have to do with it?" she probed, wishing that Mark would answer her questions. Her eyes traveled down the length of his body and came to rest on the sensor enveloping his left ankle; the device a painful reminder of why the troubled young man was in his current situation. Suddenly Mark groaned something inexplicable and turned onto his side away from Princess. His movement startled her momentarily and a tiny gasp escaped from her lips. She watched him for a moment longer before reaching for the bed sheet. Biting her bottom lip, Princess placed it carefully over Mark's shoulder. She remained there for several minutes and monitored Mark's vital signs via use of the tiny hologram cast from her G-Force communicator; satisfied that Mark had stabilized before she decided to leave. Princess stood up from the bed to turn off the bedside lamp and padded quietly toward the bedroom door. She turned the knob and let herself out closing the door behind her.
Slowly Mark shifted slightly in the direction of the closed door and watched it through weary blue eyes. He hadn't meant to turn Princess into his nursemaid and he cursed himself for doing so unwittingly. Even when I don't mean to I'm becoming more of a burden to her. Enveloped within the dark room, Mark turned onto his back and covered his face with his hands hoping that sleep would eventually claim him.
The aroma of fresh brewed coffee wafting in the air led Princess toward the kitchen. She knew Jason would be there waiting for her; wanting to know how she managed to care for Mark without informing Chief Anderson or Dr. Baxter of the side effects from the drug given to him by the Spectran agent. As helpful as Jason had been with caring for Mark, she felt him watching her the whole time, his wolf gray eyes mindful of every detail. It's as if though he were making a mental checklist of how much time and effort it took to tend to Mark's needs.
Princess saw Jason leaning against the small island centered in the middle of the kitchen, mug in hand. He gestured for her to sit, nodding his head in the direction of the table against the wall. She noted that he'd already poured her a cup and she raised a brow ready to ask if cream and sugar were already added.
Jason held up a hand cutting off the flow of words before she had a chance to continue, his gray eyes mocking her. "Yes. Three teaspoons of sugar and a dollop of milk." Princess muttered a small 'Thank you' and sat down in the chair at the table. Jason placed his mug on the table before turning the other chair around and straddled the seat, leaning his elbows on the back of the chair.
A minute or so passed in companionable silence as they each drank their hot coffee. Princess maintained her focus on the murky remnants in her coffee's mug while Jason regarded her thoughtfully.
"How is Mark now?" Jason asked simply before draining the remains of his mug and placing it on the small table.
Princess nodded while speaking. "Better. This time wasn't as bad as the last. He fought if off well." She fingered the rim of her mug with one hand.
Jason nodded also. "Good." He looked around the kitchen though not searching for anything in particular. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to look at the young woman sitting across from him, as if though he needed to find the courage to speak. Closing his eyes tightly, Jason spoke somberly, "I had no idea Prin…no idea how much it took ….took for you to care for him." He opened his eyes to look directly at Princess; the guilt beginning to pour from him. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you …or for Mark the other night. I should've been here…"
Setting her mug aside Princess reached for Jason's hands, surprised to find them trembling and enveloped them within her own. "Don't do this to yourself Jase. Mark wouldn't want it. And he's here now; with us. That's all that matters." She massaged Jason's hands in an attempt to comfort him. Mark was more than a best friend, as close to him as any blood brother could be. She didn't want Jason beating himself up over this.
Jason looked into Princess' face, her demeanor reassuring. He nodded again, regaining his composure. "Yeah…you're right." He looked around the kitchen again, trying to put his words together. "It's just that I remember the guy he was you know? The one who always exuded such optimism it literally drove me crazy! Nothing could faze him!"
Princess smiled in agreement, her eyes misting at Jason's accurate description of their friend. "I think that guy still exists Jase. He just needs to find his way back to us."
Jason continued reminiscing, his eyes mirroring a time that seemed so long ago. "Even after the Spectrans had given us a good ass kicking, Mark was the one who kept looking for the silver lining in every cloud. He managed to keep it all together, keeping the team focused." Jason lowered his head again and squeezed at the soft hands holding his. "I'd give anything to have that guy back now." He looked up at Princess, his gray eyes were warm. "He's lucky to have you."
Princess sucked in her breath, surprised at the turn of this conversation. "Jason, I'd do this for any one of you."
"Prin you're kidding yourself if you say what you feel for him is anything less…" Jason commented.
Princess pulled her hands away from Jason's. "I think you'd better quit while you're ahead." Her eyes darted from left to right, a sudden panic sweeping over her.
"You told me several months ago that you were beginning to have feelings for him," Jason continued, his expression understanding.
"That was several months ago. Things have changed. My feelings are irrelevant now." Princess retorted quickly. The last thing she wanted to do was confess to Jason any more than she already had. She was still trying to sort through her feelings about Mark, her emotions too fresh to share with anyone. Eyes downcast, she clasped her hands together on the table's surface letting Jason know that part of their discussion was over.
Jason gave Princess a side long glance. For several minutes a strained silence had centered itself between them. Knowing when to quit Jason replied quietly, "Alright Prin. I won't push it any further." He reached for both mugs and asked, "Want any more?" Princess declined and with that Jason stood to take their mugs to the kitchen sink. He turned and leaned against the counter, placing his hands behind him. "How long does this usually last? I mean does Mark get any worse before he gets better?"
Grateful for the conversation shift, Princess leaned her elbows on the table. "No. The last time he got over the initial illness, he recovered quickly. It's strange but it's almost as if there's something triggering the response. Reading Valeria's notes lead me to believe that was more than just a drug she gave Mark. Her equations are consistent with more than just a chemical base. I'll have Keye run a cross reference for me first thing in the morning with what I was able make out."
Jason spoke seriously, "Prin, don't take this the wrong way but you may be in over your head with this one. There's still a part of me that believes Mark should be monitored at Center Neptune. As acting commander of G-Force it's my duty to report my findings to Chief Anderson. If you can't separate your feelings for what may be in Mark's best interest, then you're going to have to step aside."
Princess straightened at Jason's authoritative tone and countered, "Remember when we were called 'teenage lab rats'? I believe my actions are justified. If Mark were to stay at Center Neptune for treatment it would be counter-productive. He'd merely languish in that environment. He's got a degree of independence here. Here he can open up, begin to feel trust again. It's my job to see that he overcome this trauma. To return to his rightful place as commander of our unit Jason. I don't want him treated like some science experiment."
"You're relying solely on faith Prin. Do you intend to tell Anderson about Mark's side effects?" Jason questioned with narrowed eyes.
Princess returned the look Jason gave with one of her own, her green eyes glaring. "Do you?"
Jason folded his arms in front of his chest. "No. Not yet anyway. But your father's a smart man Prin. He's the ultimate bullshit detector and he can smell lies a mile away. I still haven't reported Mark's place being torn apart or the fact that we were chased through the city by Spectran operatives. I sent message to Tiny along with the Federation Military Police to keep watch on Mark's place tonight but they report to Anderson. To say he's going to be pissed that I didn't report to him first is an understatement. Keeping Mark's condition quiet is just adding to the list of secrets and its getting longer by the hour." Placing his face to his hands, he rubbed at tired eyes. "I'm supposed to meet with the Chief tomorrow. Personally I feel we could be hindering Mark's recovery but since you feel so strongly about him staying here with you, I'll give you more time." He sighed heavily and raked his hands through his hair, looking up at the ceiling then back towards her. "Prin so help me if this happens again, I'm coming clean to 'The Mustache'," Jason warned; his implication projected toward her father.
Princess pursed her lips and tapped her fingertips on the table's surface. "I understand Jason and it's appreciated. Thanks." He was placing himself in the line of fire, putting aside duty for friendship. As acting commander Jason had given her more than enough leeway.
The tension between them had begun to ease followed by a few more minutes of silence. Deciding to switch gears again, Jason went on, "I've been meaning to ask you…how long is Jill willing for you to stay here? The renovations at her club should be just about completed."
Princess squirmed slightly in her seat. She had deliberately decided not to mention to anyone that she'd been conveniently fired from her job as manager of Jill's Place, as well as evicted from her loft apartment. The building was owned by Jill Banks, a friend of Princess' for the past few years. Jill was a business woman and the club wasn't profiting as well as she would have liked with Princess at the helm. It really couldn't have been helped. She had been unable to manage the club to Jill's specifications; her duty got in the way of foreseeing the operation of the business. Jill needed someone full time and when she found someone, the agreement was to lease the apartment over the club as well. Princess had been given the boot. She'd seen it coming; Jill had been kind enough to inform her that she would have to move. But it didn't make it any less painful. Jill was also looking for someone to purchase the small beach house, but decided not to put it on the market just yet. Princess was fortunate that Jill offered her use of the place until she found another apartment to lease, but being unemployed made that a bit difficult. She was staunchly independent and refused to rely on her father or her friends to bail her out.
"Jill said I could stay for as long as I wanted until she was ready to put the place on the market. I liked the solitude out here so much; she agreed to let me stay until the end of summer." Princess answered quickly, hating herself for the lie.
"Oh," Jason responded, satisfied with her answer. He glanced at the kitchen clock above the table. It was nearing midnight. Yawning he stretched his arms above his head and asked, "I guess I don't have to flip a coin to see which one of us sits with 'Fly Boy' for the first few hours huh?"
Princess smiled fleetingly and rose from her seat, rubbing her palms on the front of her shorts. "No. Why don't we divide the night? I'll sit with him for four hours and you the latter half, alright?"
Jason nodded while watching her intently. "Agreed. I'll take the couch" he answered brusquely gesturing with his hand toward the living room. He walked towards Princess. "Listen…are you and I …cool?" He didn't want to create distance between them. They may not be in agreement with how Mark's situation should be handled, but he wanted her to know that he still valued their friendship.
Princess reached out for Jason's hand and pulled him towards her. "Was there ever any doubt? Of course we're alright." She encircled her arms around his waist and hugged him close. Jason returned the embrace, giving Princess a big bear hug and kissed her forehead gently.
After a moment, they pulled apart simultaneously. Princess patted at Jason's chest lightly. "You don't have to sleep on the couch you know. You could always sleep in my bed."
Jason smiled wolfishly and tapped playfully at her nose. "Prin you really need to be careful when you toss an invitation like that around. Someone might get the wrong idea."
Princess made a face at him. "Why you big…," she started and pushed at Jason's chest. "Screw you!"
Jason laughed and stepped around Princess, heading for the living room couch, "See? There you go again! Keep that up and people will talk."
"Don't flatter yourself jerk," she responded humorously and pushed against Jason's back with both of her hands causing him to stumble slightly.
Jason sat on the plush couch and began to remove his shoes. Princess started towards the hallway, in the direction of Mark's room. "Hey Prin," Jason called out and Princess looked over her shoulder. "Remember you're not here alone with Mark alright? Come and get me if you need help."
Princess' smile was genuine. "Thanks Jase," she returned and blew him a small kiss before turning off the light switch on the wall. Jason watched her walk away, that curvaceous backside of hers swaying from side to side in her cut-off shorts. He cocked his head to the right, whistled to himself and grinned devilishly. Mark you'd better be damned glad that I'm your best friend! Jason lay back on the couch, crossed his arms behind his head, and closed his eyes…
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Princess stood outside of Mark's bedroom door and discovered a small ray of light beaming from underneath the crack of the door's frame. She stopped short of turning the knob, remembering that she turned off the bedside lamp before leaving the room. Cautiously Princess opened the door and peered inside expecting to find Mark awake. To her surprise he wasn't. Mark was on top of the bed's covers still in his boxers sitting up against the headboard, propped against a few pillows with his hands at his sides, eyes closed; his expression peaceful. The rise and fall of his chest steady. He appeared to be asleep.
She noticed that the closet door was partially open. Apparently Mark had found some of his belongings that she had brought over earlier that afternoon. His things had been in storage while he was hospitalized. Princess had packed several items she felt that Mark would like to have with him during his stay with her. His books, photography equipment, and various CD's were among the throng of things chosen.
Quietly Princess inched closer to the bed in an attempt not to disturb Mark. She knew that sleep didn't come easily to him, it never had. She didn't want to awaken him but wanted to make certain he was alright. She sank onto the edge of the bed, the mattress giving away with barely a sigh of pressure and eased herself next to Mark. Princess sat there momentarily watching Mark's relaxed appearance. It had been the first time in days she'd seen him this way. The last time he appeared this comfortable they had awoken in each other's arms. Remembering how she felt when Mark kissed her, Princess placed her fingertips lightly to her lips; the heat rising to her cheeks.
Upon getting closer Princess discovered a small photograph in Mark's lap. She tilted her head slightly, curiosity getting the better of her. The temptation was proving to be too great even for her and she found herself carefully lifting the photo from him. Slowly Princess' eyes darted from the photo back to Mark's resting figure. The first thing she noticed was that the photo was dated; the edges of the picture raveled and curling. The color was faded; dating back several years but the inhabitant in the photo captured her attention. It was the photo of a young woman. A beautiful young woman with soft features; wavy auburn hair upon her shoulders, a creamy complexion, a warm, inviting smile, and vibrant blue eyes.
Princess placed the fingers of her right hand to her lips. Despite the age of the photograph, the resemblance was recognizable. She was looking at Mark's eyes in a feminine face. "Mark's mother," Princess whispered breathlessly. She had never expected to see her this way, surprise evident in her face. In all of her years knowing Mark, she'd never seen a picture of Maria Beckham, nor had he offered to show her.
"What are you doing in here?" Mark asked quietly, cutting into Princess' thoughts; startling her. Her eyes leaping from the photo to the photo's owner; his blue eyes penetrating her almost accusingly.
Princess' eyes widened at being discovered, like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. She couldn't find the words to explain that this wasn't what it looked like, even though the evidence was situated between her fingers. Mark reached up and took his mother's photograph from Princess.
"Mark…," Princess began, "I'm sorry. It's just that you looked so peaceful. I saw the picture in your lap…I shouldn't have pried."
Mark watched the play of emotions on Princess' face. From shock at being discovered, to beseeching in her explanation, before finally succumbing to remorse. The offended look he'd given her was quickly replaced with understanding.
Mark reached for Princess' hand and squeezed it tightly. "It's alright. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that I didn't expect you back in after you'd left; at least for a while. And then to see you with my mom's picture…" He looked at his mother's photo again before extending his free hand, holding the picture for Princess to see it. "You've never seen a picture of my mother." It was a statement not a question. Mark watched Princess for a response.
Princess studied the picture once more and smiled thoughtfully. "She was very lovely Mark. You favor her; particularly the eyes. Those fathomless blue eyes." Noticing that Mark still held her hand, Princess turned her hand upwards to link her fingers between his.
Princess was almost certain Mark blushed, though only a hint of color stained his cheeks for a moment. He looked at his mother's picture and grimaced before placing it on the bedside table. "Yeah I favor her; but not in the way that matters." His fingers slackened from Princess' grasp and he pulled his hand away. The move left Princess feeling strangely bereft, her fingers tingling from the mild depravity.
"I'm certain your mother wouldn't look at it that way. You've dealt with so much these past few months."
"There's a lot you don't know about Prin. Please don't try to understand me right now. You wouldn't be able to if you tried," Mark replied sadly.
Princess watched him for several moments. She decided to try again, using a different tactic. "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly and folded her arms in front of her.
Mark shrugged his shoulders. "I've still got a headache and my stomach feels raw inside but I'll live." He snorted sarcastically. "I'll live." He looked down at the sensor on his left ankle, reminding him of his restrictions. "Some life huh?"
Another minute passed in silence. Princess decided to use the time to get to the bottom of things, knowing she needed to tread lightly. She couldn't afford for Mark to retreat into his self-imposed shell if he felt as if though he were being cornered.
"What made you do it Mark?" Princess asked softly. "Please tell me so that I can understand."
Mark turned to face her directly; a stricken look crossed his features. "I got tired of watching everyone that mattered to me die." His glance cut to the left of center. "It became too much for me, discovering that my father was around all this time and him not being able to acknowledge me. That was the final straw." Mark's anguished glance returned to Princess. "I'd seen cancer ravage my mother's body. I'd seen Matthew's jet explode after being hit by a Spectran missile. And then to witness my father sacrifice his life for this planet, and climb into that shuttle…," Mark trailed off, his eyes fixated with remembered pain. "I should've stopped him. Maybe if I'd told him it would've made a difference."
Princess frowned slightly and pondered, "What do you mean? What could you have told your father that might've made a difference?" She had to push forward; she needed something to go on while his defenses were down.
Mark wiped at the moisture from underneath his eyes and straightened his back against the bed's headboard. He let out a heavy sigh. "Nothing. It doesn't matter any more. I promised to get my life in order right? That's why I'm staying with you." He stared straight ahead, his manner the epitome of all that was serious. The Eagle's stoic mask had once again appeared and Princess could feel the distance growing between them.
She had to learn more before Mark shut down completely. "You mentioned Matthew." Mark flinched before meeting Princess' perceptive eyes with his own. "While you were ill, you mentioned Matthew in regards to your father. Something he told you."
"You're pushing me. You're trying to get me to say something I'm not ready to share yet. Just let it go," Mark replied defensively.
"I'll let it go when you give us more to go on. Mark, we can't help you if you won't tell us what went wrong. My father is going against regulations to see to it that you return to G-Force." Princess' face pleaded with him.
"Your father doesn't give a rat's ass about me! I've been nothing more than a liability to him from the beginning! He's taken everything from me!" Mark snapped and pushed himself off of the bed.
Princess stood up and grabbed at Mark's arm before he reached the other side of the room. "How can you say something like that? My father has gone above and beyond for you. He was your father's best friend."
Mark, in turn, reached for Princess' upper arms and shook her. "Your father is the reason my father took that damned assignment! So that he could be with my mother!" His face was full of contempt.
Princess winced as if though she'd been struck, blinking her eyes several times. "What do you mean by that?" She twisted herself out of Mark's grasp.
"I think you know what I mean. Your father and my mother…together." Mark's blue eyes had glaciered over; his tone was just as cold. "Convenient to send your best friend to the enemy so that you can have his wife for yourself. And my mother was so trusting, believing every word that bastard told her…when all the while he knew that my father was alive and he never even told her. Not while they were together when my father was away. Not even on her death bed."
Princess' face blanched after those hateful remarks. She sank slowly onto the edge of the bed, her eyes searching Mark's face for the whole story. His face was grim, indicating to her not to take it any further. He wasn't ready to share any more and he backed away from her, placing his hands behind his neck, until he came to a stop against the wall. Mark shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the wave of panic to swallow him whole.
The room was immersed in silence for what seemed like an eternity, the only sound heard was the occasional pounding of the ocean's surf beating against the Pacific shore. Princess' breath quickened and she sniffed while staring at the ceiling, her eyes feigning interest in the plain white surface hovering above her. She didn't want to believe that her father could've done what Mark had just mentioned. Yet she had to admit there was so much about her father that even she didn't know. William Anderson's life had been cloaked in secrecy. Lasting relationships with the opposite sex had always seemed to elude him. Princess had chalked that up to his vast responsibilities being their mentor and head of Galaxy Security. She did remember him telling her that he'd made the mistake of falling in love once, but that circumstances made it impossible for him to love the woman the way she deserved. Strange that he called it 'a mistake,' Princess wondered. Mark's parents and her father had been friends for years even before the Beckham's had children. When Ken Beckham's plane had been reported missing off of the Atlantic Coast, it was her father who picked up the pieces of Maria Beckham's life along with the lives of her young sons.
Princess sucked in her breath sharply and her eyes made immediate contact with Mark's. His face conveyed a wealth of pain and resentment; his brow furrowed, his mouth twisted with repugnance. Unfortunately, an affair was possible. The circumstances, for lack of a better word, convenient. Like an elaborate jigsaw puzzle, some of the pieces could be forced to fit…
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