Hmm, let's see who still managed to hang on to this story.
No monolouge for why it's late, let's just say V-day was crappy and in the rush beforehand I managed to forget to update.
Here's the (long awaited) chapter!
"Do you believe he's insane?" I whisper to Luna softly. We're in the library, sitting in a corner Hermione used to frequent. It's fairly secluded, small and dark enough that not many students came near it. Luna's books are scattered all around us on the ground as we sit on the plush deep red carpet.
She looks up at me with soft grey eyes. "No, just really sad, really aggravated, and really confused."
I nod stoically. I know that feeling; one where you're certain you hate the world-just not as much as you hate yourself.
"Even-" her voice catches. "Even then, he was so confused." I don't need to hear her say it to know she's referring to her time spent at the Malfoy manner. "He was no longer sane-of course, who would be without most of their soul-but he was still so confused."
"Do you-have you ever wondered what it must be like?" I ask hesitantly. "To lose a piece of your soul?"
Her eyes meet mine evenly.
"What was it like to have that piece of him inside of you?" When I'm quiet, she continues. "I don't think it would be something a person could explain, really-just an emptiness, like when you miss someone so much it's like you're ripping in half. Except you're only missing yourself, really."
I hear a shuffling behind us, followed by a sharp clearing of someone's throat. Luna turns to our visitor calmly, while I squeak like a toddler, jumping.
Tom Riddle stands behind us, giving us both a piercing look that makes me gulp. The look is full of something more than I can define- a burning curiosity that leaves me almost puzzled.
I dearly hope he didn't hear us.
But the look he's giving the both of us says otherwise.
"What is Grindlewald doing out there?" he says calmly, sitting next to us with a quiet grace. I eye the green and silver pin on his uniform to remind me that his intentions are not likely to be pure. "To make you say he'd lost his soul?"
Luna gave him a look so sad I almost believed it. "We were just referring to his heart-or lack of one, so to speak. Who would kill so many and still have their soul?"
Riddle raised an eyebrow, leaning to me and eying me with dark eyes.
"And this means you held a part of his soul-inside you? Quite an odd metaphor, to be certain."
I gulp and I feel the blood slowly drain from my body. Luna pauses.
"There must be nargles around here," she says, looking around us as if she might spot one in the air. "They cause people to hear things that haven't been said, you know. Quite the mischief makers."
He gives her a small smirk.
"You're talking about horcruxes, aren't you?" he says. A look of wonder flashes across his eyes before he seems to flatten it out. "I won't tell. I know about them, too." He looks around us before saying, "I cast a privacy spell as I came in. No one will hear us."
Luna doesn't say anything. I gulp.
"Now," he says, looking at me eye-to-eye. "We can go on and pretend there is nothing to what I heard or we can just drop all pretenses. I can be very useful to those that please me, I assure you."
All I can think of is other people that probably fell for the same exact line;
Severus Snape. Peter Pettigrew. Draco Malfoy.
Two of them are dead.
So I look him in the eye and try for sincerity as I say that I honestly have no clue what's he talking about.
"Okay, then." Tom's smile is still in place. "Tell me when you're willing to talk."
He walks away as smoothly as he entered.
I gulp.
...
'You cannot help.'
I wonder what Dumbledore meant. Was there simply nothing I could do anymore? Was there once a time when I could've helped him?
Or was Tom Riddle simply born evil? Is there nothing I can do to change what will happen?
If there is something I can do, should I do it?
...
Daniel sits next me during Breakfast the next day in a cheerful mood.
"Hey, James-do you play Quiddich?" He asks cheerfully, talking between bites. "My brother Bilius's the team captain, and they're doing tryouts later today."
I smile. "I'm a good enough-" Luna elbowed me under the table at the word good, making me choke and laugh. "Okay, I'm a really good seeker. You?"
"Beater." He says eagerly, dark brown hair glinting reddish in the candle-light. "I was on the team last year, so it's almost a shoe-in. Are you doing tryouts?"
"Sure," I say lightly. "Why not?"
He smiles at me brightly, blue eyes twinkling. "They're at six; I guess I'll see you then."
And, with that, he stands, waves brightly, and manages to trip over at least five things on his way out of the dining hall.
I chuckle into my hand, not even bothering to hide it.
Luna gives me an oddly knowing smile, and I feel like I missed the punchline to a very odd joke.
...
"So," Riddle says softly as he leads me to Potions. It's the first time he's gotten me alone all day. So far, I've always managed to find someone to come with us; Daniel, Lily, a professor that I wanted to discuss my grade with...
But now we're all alone. Lily has study hall and Daniel has Divination in the other side of the castle. I've run out of Professors to pester.
It's my turn to be pestered.
"I don't think you realize what having me on your side could mean," he said calmly. "I can open doors for you, James, doors you've always thought were locked tight."
I look him in the eye, meeting bright green to silver. "The more I hear from you, Tom, the more I think I don't want what you have to offer."
"You must be dying to tell someone what you know. To find someone who understands your theories... It's one thing to theorize with your sister, Evans, and it's another to be told definitely that you're not insane."
"Maybe," I say lightly, "I could care less about sanity."
I couldn't hold the pretense of knowing nothing for my own life, so I'm trying to make it seem like I don't care what I know or don't.
I can't help but feel he doesn't care either.
"Look," he says as we round the corner to the Potion's room, "it can either be positive reinforcement that makes you come clean or negative reinforcement. What will it be?"
"Is that a threat, Tom Riddle?"
"Only if you let it be."
And then we enter the Potions Room, and our conversation immeadiatly turns to bezoars.
I walk to my desk only to put my hand in my pocket and pull out a small piece of parchment, on top of which is written;
Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after Quiddich tryouts.
-T
I crumple it up, meeting his eyes across the room as I throw it into the air and point a quick incendio at it.
I cannot explain his expression as he watches it burst into flames.
...
"Is James your real name?"
Daniel isn't looking at me; instead, he looks everywhere but directly at me, instead eyeing the scenery as we walk to Quiddich tryouts.
I shake my head lightly, choosing not to speak.
"Does it mean something special, or is it just a random choice?"
"It's special," I croak softly. "Why?"
His eyes meet mine fleetingly before looking away again.
"I was just wondering how much of you was real and how much was fake," he says. "Sometimes it's hard to tell. Is Evans real?"
"No," I say regretfully. For some reason, I want it to be, so I say, "It was my mother's maiden name," just to gain more of a claim to it.
He nods silently.
"James is my middle name," I offer hesitantly.
He gives me a soft smile. "Thanks," he says, and I feel like I've handed him some huge honor, to give him this small, insignificant piece of me.
Regardless of whatever hinting is here or whatever realness is later on, chill out. This is still a TomXHarry story. They WILL be the final couple. It'll just take time to get there.
Review, please! :)