AHHHH I just got back from seeing NEW MOON! . It was amazing!!! I'm simply speechless.
And Jacob OH Jacob. He keeps grabbing my heart and pulling me back in every time I hear his voice.
I was going to update when I got 6 reviews but I just seen new moon and feel completely love struck. So I'm updating now. :D
Chapter 11
Today's the day. The day I am going to tell Jacob how I feel. Over the last 4 days of getting better from being sick and after the accidental kiss we shared I have gotten then nerves to tell him, Bella or no Bella.
Although I am mighty worried about his reaction towards the way I feel, what else could happen. He wouldn't just stop being my friend because of it, could he?
I shook off the thoughts, nothing could get in my way now. I only had to cling on the nerves of steel I had right now to do it.
He's my best friend, he will understand., I kept repeating in my head.
But what if he doesn't, suddenly the other voice replied.
I was a little surprised from it, I haven't heard it in a while and I finely started to think I wasn't going insane but I guess I am. That stupid voice wouldn't go away and when it did, it would soon be back telling me everything bad that's going to happen.
I pulled my eyebrows together in concern. what if its right, what if he doesn't understand and gets really angry or even worse, doesn't want to be my friend.
Again I shook off the bad thoughts. I finished making my bed and walked out to the living room where Sarah was eating a muffin and reading a book.
"I see your feeling better" she comment as I walked past to get some apple juice.
"yeah I feel much better." I asked grabbing a juice box.
"that's good." she said, not lifting her head from her book.
"Has Sam told you why I was sick yet?" I said sitting down next to her. She looked at me over her book.
"yes dear, he said there's a flu going around Forks and its just hit here." he went back to reading.
I nodded and did a silent ok. I went to get up but stopped, I had a question I needed to ask.
"is that what Embry has?" I asked and she quickly looked at me with troubled eyes, she was hiding something.
"No. Embry has something different." she said in a flat tone of voice.
She is hiding something from me, I thought as I studied her words.
"what does Embry have?" I asked turning to get answers.
For some reason I wanted to know what she was hiding. Normally I would let it go and just wait until they told me but this time, it was bugging me not knowing.
"not sure darling." she answered simply, going back to reading her book.
I sighed and got off the couch. With a small wave that she didn't see I opened the front door and headed to the mail box. As I sucked on my juice box and got the mail, I noticed the red truck sitting out side Jacobs house.
"who's that?" I asked myself as I mindlessly walked back up to the porch and dumped the mail on the top step, otherwise it would get soaked in the rain.
I gathered my nerves once more and set off to Jacobs. As I walked a cross of frosty field I replayed the feeling I got from the kiss in my head. A bright and dazed smile grow upon my face and I giggled to myself.
As I got closer to the trees just before Jacobs house I could hear talking.
"just wait out hear" Jacob said and I heard his front door shut.
My heart warmed as his voice entered my ears. I walked out of the trees. There she stood, as beautiful as always, miss Bella Swan. My heart sink but I hung on to the nerves as best as I could. I took a deep breath and walked over, one hand in my pocket and the other with holding my juice box.
I walked up to Bella, slightly nervous.
"Hey, um is Jacob here?" I asked her quietly. When it came to people I didn't know personally, I was very shy.
"Yeah, but he's hanging out with me at the moment." Bella told me, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"I just need to talk to him for a sec," I was slightly shocked that she was so forward.
"Too bad, he's hanging out with me because he's my best friend." She told me.
"No actually he's mine and has been long before you came in to the picture." I told her strongly. Something was going on, it was like she was pushing her self to be a bitch to me, like she was doing it for a high.
Bella gave me a look of pure hatred.
"He's mine, back off bitch." Bella said, narrowing her eyes at me. She was pushing herself to do this, from what I have seen she doesn't act like this. But why? What is driving her to make herself fight with me.
"No," I said strongly, "He's my best friend and I won't leave until I get to talk to him."
Bella took a look at the cup in her hand. A smirk came over her beautiful features. She jerked her hand forward quickly and the contents of her cup spilled all over my top, it was hot and milky. It burnt through my clothes.
"Oops, sorry. I'm so clumsy," Bella apologized, the evil smirk still played on her lips.
It set me over the top. I pulled my fist back, hoping that it would collide with her face and make her beautiful face ugly. I was sure my fist was about to come in contact with her nose, when something grabbed it. I tried pulling away but it was holding on tight.
"Emma, What the fuck do you think your doing to Bella?" The love in Jacob's voice was clear when he said her name. When he said my name it was just total fury.
"I-I.. and s-she" I didn't know what to say, the grip he had on my hand was hurting and the look in his eyes said rage.
"what the fuck, why were you going to hit her" he boomed, throwing my arm down.
"I-I"
"No Emma" he his voice calmed down a bit. He looked to Bella who was now just as scared as I was. She gave him a look saying she was innocent. He looked at me, eyes filled with rage but his face was soft.
"Go home Emma" he said pointing to my house. I looked behind and back to him.
"But Jake-"
"Go" he ordered.
I looked at his face, he was deadly serious. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I wouldn't let him see me cry, I wouldn't. I took one last look at his house and saw Billy giving me a sympathetic look. I turned back around and walked to my house.
"wow, I really thought she was going to hurt me Jake." Bella whined.
"It's okay Bells, I'm here now." Jacob soothed.
That was it. I let the tears fall freely and I let the sobs overcome me. I ran back to my house and flung open the door. Sarah met me there. I quickly stopped the sobs.
"What's wrong kiddo?" She asked concerned.
I stared blankly at her face, the tears still falling. I let out a sob and then ran down the hall to my room and pulled out my mobile. I wrapped one arm around me torso to hold my self together. I dialed her number franticly and waited for it to ring.
"Hello" Leah answered, lifeless tone of voice.
"L-Leah, its E-Emma" I stuttered, tears flowing down my face.
"Oh! Sweetie what's wrong?" Concern was laced throughout her voice
"J-Jake just through m-me out of h-his house" I tried to breath but it was hard to calm myself.
"That bastard! Why?" Leah asked, defiantly pissed off.
"B-Bella Swan" I sobbed through the phone. That's all I could say in hope Leah new what I was talking about.
"Oh god. That fucking bitch, she should go and die in a hole. I know how you feel Em, do you need me to come over?" She asked, her own bitterness from Sam was evident
"N-no, its ok. I think I will just talk to Sarah. We can hang out soon through" I reassured her. I finely stopped sobbing but tears will welled up and rolled down my face.
"what's wrong, who's on the phone?" I heard Seth ask Leah on the other side of the phone. "its Emma, and nothing is wrong, go away" Leah bit at him. I heard him sigh and walk away.
"Are you sure, It's not a bother at all." Leah told me.
"yeah Leah, its ok." I sniffed and wiped the tears off my cheek's. "I have to go, I will call you later ok."
"Ok, I'm sorry that fuck head did that. Bye Em." she sighed.
"See ya" I smiled in to the phone and hung up, laying back on to my bed and covering my face with my pillow and whimpered in to it.
I laid back and stared at my roof, the day light out side drifted away in to the cold rainy night. I didn't know how long I just laid, staring up wishing it never happened and that it was all a dream.
For the first time and hour's I got up, I didn't want Sarah to worry anymore then she already was. She already knocked on my door 4 times and I didn't answer. I was waiting for her to bust it down or something.
I didn't notice how tired I was, sleep was trying to pull me in but I needed to get a drink, all this crying was making me thirsty.
I got up and went to get a drink, waved and smiled for Sarah -making her happy and think I'm fine mind you- but that wasn't enough.
"Emma, sit down please" she said patting the spot next to her. I sighed and sat next to her.
"What's wrong tiger" she said putting her arm around me, I leant in to her. I smiled slightly at the nickname, she hasn't called me tiger in years. I kind of missed it.
"nothing.." I lied. She chuckled, which I didn't understand why.
"its Jacob, isn't it" she smiled.
I nodded, "how did you know?" I asked softly in to her cardigan.
"you cant fool a wise old women" she laughed and I looked at her.
"ok, Billy rang me just after you got back. He said something happened with you, Jacob and Bella, chief Charlie's child. He also said he seen the whole thing but Jacob would hear a word of it" she explained. I laid my head back down on to her shoulder.
"he told me to go home." I sniffed.
"he will come around soon. Just give him time, I'm sure he will understand. Then finely you can tell him you love him" she laughed. I snapped my body up and stared at her blankly.
"I-I don't love him" I protested but she only laughed again.
"as I said before, you cant fool a wise old women." I sighed and looked down.
"how did you know" I asked in a small voice.
"I see it every time your around him. After your mother pasted away you were a zombie, I was starting to think you would never recover from it. But then Jacob black came along and now you smile as bright as the sun when he's around." she smiled.
I couldn't help but smile at her words. But sadness still willowed up in side me. Not just from Jacob now but also from remembering my mother. She was the sweetest, kindest lady, nothing could stop you from smiling around her.
"I'm going to go to bed now. Thank you for talking to me Sarah." I kissed her on the cheek. "goodnight"
"goodnight sweetie" she smiled and hugged me.
I picked up the bottle of water and then walked back to my room. I opened my bed room door and walked in with a sigh. I closed to the door behind me and turned around and froze in my tracks.
"Paul?" I asked as he squeezed through my window.
"Yeah Em," he smiled at me as he got in through the window, but when he saw my puffy, red eyes his face hardened.
"What happened?" he demanded.
"nothing." I reassured him, sitting the bottle of water down on my desk and helping him the rest of the way in.
"just a sad movie with Sarah" I lied.
He looked at me suspiciously.
"Your lying. What really happened Emma? Did Jacob do something?" Paul growled animalistic when he said Jacob's name.
I stepped back shook that he could tell I was lying and a little uncomfortable with him growling.
"no he... um didn't" I lied again. I felt the guilt wrench as my heart. I hated lying to him.
Paul sighed.
"Please tell me Em," he begged, his huge eyes pleading with me.
"fine" I sighed sitting down on my bed. "he told me to go home today.... after I nearly had a fight out side his house" I spilled to him, sadness willowed in side me again but I held back the tears.
It took a second for Paul to react, but when he did it was scary.
He started shaking furiously and growling.
"THAT FUCKING DICKHEAD!" Paul roared. "I should go over there and beat some fucking sense in to that tiny brainless head of his!"
I flinched back at first but quickly stood up and grab his arm. His body heat was sky high and his rock hard arm was shaking.
"Paul... please don't." I said in a soft pleading voice. "calm down, its ok" I soothed.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. He used his free hand to press his fingertips to his temple. I rubbed his arm soothingly and slowly he calmed down.
"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't," he said quietly
I thought for a moment.
"Because I want you to stay here, please stay" I didn't know what else to say. The last thing I want is them fighting. I let go of his arm and slumped back down on my bed, he heat from his body was making me feel light headed or it could have just been me crying to much.
He sighed and sat down next to me, making the bed sink. He pulled me into his lap, surprising me.
"I'll stay, as long as you want me to," He told me softly and caringly.
"Paul.." I asked softly rest my head on my chest with a small yarn.
"Shh it's okay Em, you can sleep," he said, his voice seemed far away.
"I just wanted... to know why.." I tried to asked but my eyes where so heavy, I couldn't keep them open any longer. I let my eyes close and drift off in to a dreamless sleep.
-Jacob's Point of view-
"stupid thing" I cursed as the spanner wouldn't fit the bolt.
Fixing the rabbit was taking a toll on me and thinking about what happened earlier today was making it ever harder.
the one thing that was bugging me all day was, why would Emma want to hurt Bella, the beautiful caring Bella swan. Emma wouldn't hurt a fly but I guess I was wrong.
"rentch... Where's the rentch" I said to myself as I search around the tool's spread a cross the floor.
I went over to the window thinking that maybe I left it on the frame but didn't find what I was looking for. Instead I found a sight I never wanted to see. Jealously ripped through my chest and I wanted to pick up the heaviest tool I could find and beat the shit out of him.
There they sat, on the end on Emma's bed. Paul with Emma sleeping on his lap. He had a proud smile played on his lips. I clenched my fist's together.
"fucking bastard!" I said through my teeth, the angry raged in side me and I just wanted to explode, but why do I feel so angry about it?
I turned away, I couldn't look at him anymore. He was so smug about it too. I threw the spanner a cross the garage and leant against the wall.
How could she fall asleep on his lap, why does he always pop up?, I though as I turned and slid down the wall.
"why?" I questioned, Emma's sleeping face imprinted on my mind.
"wake up Emma, please…. Wake up" I said out loud, hoping some how I got through to her. But of course nothing.
I felt bad. What happened today was torching me inside and out. I have never in my whole life seen Emma try to hurt someone. Nothing, she has always been kind to everything. Mostly animals.
The sound of rain started banging on the tin roof. It wasn't heavy but enough to make loud noises. I got up from the wet floor, covered the bikes and walked to the window.
"why do I feel like this" I said angrily to myself.
What's wrong with me, I feel I don't know. Connected to Em, but Bella is there to.
Is it possible to maybe… love to people? But what if there different loves? Or maybe the same just one is stronger?, I thought, questioning as I touched the window. Emma a lone sleeping on the end of her bed was right under my fingers that brushed down the window dripping with water.
"so beautiful… yet so broken." I whispered as I turned away slightly more happier because Paul had left.
But it still troubled me. It troubled me not knowing how I feel anymore. Something about me is changing. I can feel it.
Thanks so much to EVERYONE!!!
Because your all awesome and amazing. :D
To teamjacob22, No Paul didn't imprint. If he did then Jacob would have no one and Emma wouldn't really be happy. Not that she is going to be happy much longer because lots and lots of drama, heart break and blood is coming her way. I know its horrible of me, but hey. Its a story and how i felt at the time.
WARNING: everyone just so you know, this isn't that last book to this story. There are still Earth Bound Sun and A Moonless Night still coming up after this one. Sooooo my biggest apologize to everyone because Jacob doesn't imprint for a while. But he does in this story. :)
Everything will fall in to place and I still need my vampire friend to come out for some fun. Mind you, this doesn't mean Jacob wont love Emma soon, he just doesn't fully imprint and Bella (grr) is still a big part of his life. But enough hints and give a way's. ENJOY CHAPTER 12 VERY SOON, a small fights coming up. ;D
Please review some more, i do live on them. :)
Love Peejay. xoxo
(oh yeah if you want to contact me for more answer, questions or anything email me at DropDeadViolence at Hotmail DOT com)