The Doctor's hearts raced as Amy placed her lips firmly onto his, and gently pushed her body against him, moulding herself around him. He could feel her hands leave his to hold the back of his neck, one moving up to his hair, and he could feel his own moving up too, to hold her close, to pull her into him. He could especially feel his lips playing with hers, moving with her. He was definitely kissing her back. His hands skimmed up her arms...
And then they hit her shoulders, which he grasped firmly and pushed her back. Each time she did this it became harder and harder to resist her, but resist her he must; she was Amy Pond, his friend, she couldn't be anything more, despite how much he wanted her to be.
"Amy, you have got to stop doing that!" He yelled as he stepped away from her, maintaining a distance that had previously gone awry.
"Why?" She yelled back in annoyance, the angry Scottish girl coming out to play. He probably should've been upset that he'd angered her, but it was good to see the old Amy coming back.
"Because it's wrong! This can't work!" He tried to tell her.
"Oh, come off it Doctor," She scoffed. "You want it too, you were kissing me back."
"I definitely was not kissing you back." He told her huffily. "And even if I was, it wouldn't matter."
"Why not?" She asked. She stepped over and took his hand, and he snatched it back. Why did she keep on making this so hard for him?
"It just wouldn't." He told her, flapping his hands above his head like he was prone to in frustration.
"Oh, thanks for clearing that up." Amy told him, sitting down ungraciously on the bed.
"What about Rory?" He asked her, suddenly remembering a rather large excuse. "You must have felt something for him."
She looked up at him, her eyes still annoyed, though not tinged with the sadness he had been expecting at saying her dead fiancé's name. "He was my best friend, he was there for me when no one else was, he was there for me when you ran off," The Doctor felt a wave of guilt pass over him, calming him down slightly, rationalising him. "And I loved him, but never in the way that he wanted me to."
"Oh..." The Doctor sighed as he wiped his hand down his face, unsure of what to say next, but Amy got there first.
"Have you been in love with someone, Doctor?" Amy asked him, and he looked back to her.
"I'm nine hundred and seven, Amy." He told her by way of explanation.
"So you keep saying, Doctor, but what does that mean?" She asked, folding her arms against her chest and leaning forward.
"I've experienced lots of things, Amy," He told her stiffly. "I had a family, back before the war."
"And anyone else?" She pressed on. "You've travelled with others, have you not felt anything for anyone? What about Rose?"
"Amy..." He sighed again, sitting down on the armchair. "I couldn't be with any of them, even if I wanted to. Not even Rose."
"Do you still love her?" She asked, seeing through his evasions. He was silent for a moment, before shaking his head.
"When I changed, from the man that you saw in Rose's flat to the man that I am now, I lost bits," He tried to explain, his voice gruff. "The old me had feelings for Rose, but now I don't. I left it behind."
"You can do that?" Amy asked, shocked. "You can leave things behind, feelings for people? You just feel nothing for her now?"
"No," he said, leaning back into the chair in defeat as Amy shuffled closer to him. "I still love her a lot, but not in the way I did. I moved on, and the feelings changed into something else. I respect her, I admire her, but I'm not in love with her."
"So you were in love with her?" Amy asked, triumphant that she had coaxed information out of him. "Why didn't you do anything about it?"
"Humans, you grow old, you wither and you die," he told her, repeating what he had told Rose so long ago. "But I don't, I stay as I am, and if I die I just regenerate."
She absorbed the information, her listening face turning into one of incredulity. "Oh, come off it!" She told him. "How long does anyone ever get with you anyway, Doctor?"
"What?" He interrupted, but she continued.
"Has anyone ever stayed long enough to 'wither and die'? Really? Because it seems to me that all of your friendships have a time limit."
"Is that what you want, Amy?" He asked her. "A relationship with a time limit?"
"All relationships do, though!" She told him. "People will either die of old age or they'll split up, and looking at how marriages end up in my time, it'd probably be the second option."
The Doctor stayed silent, leant backward in his chair with his arms along the arm rests. He simply looked at Amy, studying her. This wasn't like the last times she had kissed him, he realised, there was a lot more to it now. She didn't just want one night, she wanted as long as he could give her, and he did want to give it to her. He knew there were reasons he shouldn't, but the more she talked, the less he could remember them. Amy was washing away his better judgement and he felt like he was clinging to them with his fingertips.
"Why am I here?" Amy asked him, scooting further towards him so that her legs were now off of the bed, her toes brushing the carpet below. "Why did you take me from Leadworth? It's not just that you were lonely, is it?"
The Doctor stayed silent for a few seconds more, before sighing and leaning forward, scratching his fingernails under the arm rests. Eventually he spoke. "Because... I can't see it anymore."
"See what?" Amy asked, her face serious.
"I'm nine hundred and seven years old, after a while you just can't see it."
"See what?" She repeated, moving further forward until her knees were touching the Doctors, and her sarong had ridden quite high up her leg. The Doctor pretended not to notice.
"It's like I said earlier. That star is just a big ball of burning flame. After a while, everything is just stuff; that's the problem, you make all of time and space your back yard, and that's what you're left with: a back yard." He told her with a sigh, finally looking up and meeting her eyes, closer than he had realised. They were wide, they were listening, and they cared. "But you? You can see it."
"And that's the only reason you took me with you?" She asked sadly.
"To start with." He told her, giving in a little.
"And now?" Amy asked, her voice shaking. "Why am I with you now?"
The Doctor didn't answer, but held her eye contact, both of them sharing the same expression: understanding. Amy stood up from the bed, and the Doctor leant back as she stepped towards him. She extended a hand as she looked down at him, gently taking hold of his face, and again with her other hand. She caressed his face, tenderly exploring its planes, before moving back into his hair, and carefully angling his head up to look at her.
"Doctor, you're always so brave, you're always looking for adventure," She told him, watching his face, nervous about what would happen next, fearing the worst. "But you're avoiding something. Just one thing that you won't let yourself explore."
She moved her hands down to take his, and brought him up to stand in front of her, now taller than her by a few inches, enough for her to be looking up through her eyelashes, a sight that the Doctor found himself breath-taken by. "Amy..." He sighed softly, attempting one last protest, but no longer meaning it. Amy stretched up, her lips the tiniest distance from his, barely touching, and waited, her hands still in his. The Doctor waited too, relishing in the few seconds of anticipation that remained, until, finally, he closed the distance, connecting his lips to hers. Slowly they let go of each other's hands, and Amy wound hers up to his neck, stroking it and making him shiver, while his trailed to the small of her back, holding her, and pulling her in, towards him, their bodies pressed together.
Amy took a step backwards, pulling him with her, back to the bed.
Squee! I had SO much fun writing this chapter.
Now, my lovelies, some of you might be hoping that this turns into smut, but you'll be disappointed. I'm not going to write what immediately follows this, because I dont want to bump this up to an M. A lovely friend of mine (steffiee92) has written a chapter that can be slotted in, but dont feel pressured into reading it and reviewing it :P
Of course, if any of you feel like you want the chapter and stick it up on your profile, I'd be okay with that :D
fanfiction .net/s/6659420/1/the_doctor_and_Amy_secret_chapter