Oh it looks like the war was in your head; Not your heart.
Just when you think it's figured out, well it all falls apart.

It's like the calm before the storm,
You better swim.
Just like it's cold before it's warm,
You'll get back here again.

- Angels Losing Sleep, Our Lady Peace

"You what!?"

Ginny, who was drawing a landscape of Hogwarts, accidently drags a huge charcoal line through the castle roof.

"Sorry," I apologize, as she waves her wand to erase the offending streak.

She, Luna and I are sitting on the grounds far away enough so we can see the Black Lake and the school. It's Sunday, the snow has all melted and it's decently warm. I'm knitting for stress relief (the performance is tomorrow!), and Luna is reading the newest edition of the Quibbler.

I just told them I think I'm falling in love with Draco.
A bonding moment in most circles of girls, but in this one it's an invading snake come to poison me.

"That's a very good drawing Ginny, it's a shame we don't have any art classes at Hogwarts," Luna says airily, ignoring the topic at hand.

"Thanks, Luna. Hermione –" she says curtly, eyes as bright as her hair, "love? So he can make you come, don't confuse lust with it. Passion for romance. You've been dating for a month."

She brushes her hand along my neck, where there is a remnant of a hickey Draco gave me.

I blush furiously, glad there's nobody around and regretting that I ever told her about our night in the library. She cornered me yesterday, apologising for being so unresponsive when everyone was attacking Draco and I at the table. She admitted she was just too in shock that Harry would've reacted so badly, and for once in her life didn't know how to handle it.

I told her that I didn't blame her, and I'm glad she acknowledged that she messed up, because honestly, I was upset. She's always the first one to stand up for everyone. She shouldn't have to do everything for my behalf if she doesn't like him, but it's grating on me every day, every minute really. This sudden switch in my social life. This constant disproval for who I've decided to hang out with.

"I'm not confused," I say confidently. "You know I'm rational about everything, you think I haven't contemplated it? I can actually trust him enough to touch me, I don't regret it. It felt good, it wasn't awkward, well too awkward, and it didn't feel weird. The way it went was well, completely unparalleled to when Ron and I were going to try."

She grimaces and then looks down at her sketchbook, silent.
Luna smiles at the sunshine, lying back on the grass unaffected.

"How long was it for you when you and Harry dated?" I ask, trying to keep any edge from my voice, any accusation. I'm actually curious. If she had sex during school in the first few months they dated, they must've done more.

"How long was what?"

"Well, before you got intimate like that?"
A month doesn't seem that long to me, but I've never dated anyone besides Ron, have I?
"And come to think of it, before you felt love? Certainly you cared a lot about him didn't you?"

She looks upwards for a moment, thinking, and then states: "Two weeks before I love you. I let him touch me within the first week."

"Oh."
Inadequacy is the feeling that swirls around my stomach.

"Yeah well, I had a crush on him for years. I wanted it, knew he did too. There's no point in waiting for something you can have," she replies a bit harshly. "Besides, wouldn't me knowing him already create trust before we dated, you know I had feelings long before, you and Draco are just starting to like each other surely you can't compare the two experiences?"

When did we become so awkward? God, I really do not enjoy this.

"Oh, I wasn't – I didn't mean – I was genuinely curious, Ginny. I'm not judging you," I say helplessly, causing her to scrunch her eyes at me. "I wish I could be like you, so self-assured, so unafraid. I just let it happen, you know? I asked him to do it, not the other way around, and it was great. It makes me wonder why I can't always let my inhibitions just fly out the window and listen to my gut instead of my head for reasons why I should reconsider."

"Really?" she asks after a moment, staring at me oddly.

"Of course. I guess I wish I could relax a bit, I'm so self-conscious that I'm going to do something incorrectly. And you rarely go wrong, but if you do, you laugh it off. I'd have a heart attack."

She looks at me for a moment, then shakes her head.

"Hermione, it's all new to you. He's a person not an essay. You have to realize that relationships can't be perfect, you don't get O's on them, or graded. If you did, that would be horribly controlling and boring. Draco must be feeling similar things, if not amplified. He cares a lot about you, it's so evident because of the way he puts up with everybody, no resistance, no arguments with you. And he dated Pansy, for Merlin's sake. Maybe you don't have a lot of experience, but at least Ron is decent, and hell Viktor was a gentlemen for writing to you all those years, he genuinely liked you."

"I know," I reply wearily, taking in her words. I've heard it all before and now, though I really appreciate her wisdom, it's frustrating me. "I'm sorry, I just can't get over this dread of screwing up. I think because of the way people are treating me I feel the extra push to make this work. And that's not healthy is it?"

"No. Look, I don't mind Draco but he's trying to be personable. And from his past endeavours, I would not bank on trusting him so soon. That's just me, you have your own prerogative to his behaviour. But love?...hmm."

Am I being an idiot for liking him so much? Should I be so blind to his younger behaviour?

"Dad always says that love should come easy," Luna rings in, making my stomach plummet.

This is supposed to be easy? Having old friends call you out, reject you. Becoming a social leper when I'm hell-bent on being a perfectionist?

"Luna, I don't think that's the sort of thing she wants to hear right – "

"Ginny!"
We all swing our heads to Michael Corner, who has come over to us from the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Ginny," he says, a bit out of breath after jogging over to us. "I was wondering if you wanted to practice a bit more before tomorrow? I know we didn't plan it or anything, but I would feel better if we could practice a few more times. The room's been full all day and I've just been past it, there's only one pair in there now."

Ginny looks at me, and I nod my head, urging her to go.

"Yeah, alright. Talk later?" she smiles standing up, folding her drawing. "See you at dinner, Luna."

"Bye," Luna says, still looking at her article about the hunt for Wrackspurts.

"Harry's not going to be mad, right?" I hear Michael ask nervously as they walk away.

I'm unsure of what to say, Luna and I have never managed to get on with flowing, agreeable conversation one on one. So I try to just sit in contented silence, but while Luna is perfectly fine, I'm not, I've never been one to be hushed in company.

"You know Hermione," she says suddenly, making me jump and drop my needles. "I didn't mean to say that having a relationship was easy, that's not what dad means. He just thinks that it should come natural to like the person you're with, to talk to them, to be with them. And that they make you happy. That's how it's always been with Ginny. With Neville, Harry. Even Ron and you, though maybe we don't have much in common," she reasons, looking at me kindly.

"I – I don't know what to say, Luna," I reply truthfully.

"That's okay. You think I'm a bit strange. But you've always been nice to me, so I don't mind. You don't avoid me like everybody else seems to. They aren't my friends; I don't think I'd want to have friends who weren't nice, and especially not a boyfriend, or girlfriend. I just want you to be happy, Hermione, that's all. If Draco makes you happy, then there's nothing to worry about, that's all Harry is worried about. Same with Neville. With Ron."

"I guess you're right," I say, unnerved by her honesty and pinpoint logic as always. She has an uncanny ability to make me feel so uncomfortable with the truth. "I suppose I've been too hopeful that they'll come round. I know they care about me, it simply makes it seem as if I am not trustworthy in my judgement."

"I heard a muggle song once, and it was called 'Don't Worry, Be Happy', I think. I thought that was a nice statement, don't you? Don't worry, just be happy. If you are happy, others will be too."

I let that rattle my brain for the umpteenth time this past half hour and notice Draco striding through from the other side of the grounds, alongside Theodore. Or Theo. Whatever.

I didn't see him at all yesterday save for lunch when I told him we should practice today. Maybe nows a good time.

"Hey Luna, Draco is over there, I think I'm going to go practice like Ginny now. "

"That's nice."

I get up, dust off my skirt. "See you later, okay? Are you coming for the performance tomorrow?"

"Yes, Neville insisted I go for moral support." Aw.

"I'm glad, it's nice to know one person won't be criticizing me."

I wave at her, she returns it, and then I make my way over to the Slytherin pair, only to get closer and realize that Theo is not a happy camper.

"Draco!…." I trail, his face lighting up a bit when he sees me walking to him, though Theo's frowning from a task at hand. "Hi Theo."

"Hey Granger," Draco says, pulling my hand along to go with them, smiling at me.

"Uh, what's wrong?" I ask. "And where are we going?"

"It would seem that Nott has lost his partner. We cannot find her. And he refuses to tell me what he did to piss her off, but of course forced me to come along with him anyways."

"Forced?" His Slytherin friend asks.

Draco doesn't seem the type to be pushed around. Except maybe by me.

"Okay so I had nothing better to do."

"He's been pestering me to tell him what happened instead of helping," Theo says, very irritated. "And hi."

"Where have you been so far?" I can't help but be amused, they're like schoolchildren. But this is serious business, a non-compliant partner could cost grades, and a friendship come to think of it.

"Library, practice room, Great Hall, common room obviously. Where the fuck did she go?"

"Why are you so worried? She's probably busy," Draco laughs, shaking his head at me.

"How can she be busy!?" he snapped, causing Draco to flinch at the uncharacteristic tone. "Tomorrow is our performance, she should relax and just enjoy her goddamn weekend!"

He spins round and stomps away, leaving us a bit aghast, and confused about what to do.

"Nott, come on," Draco rolls his eyes, following him again. "Just tell me what you said to her to piss her off, I'm sure Hermione can figure out where she went, she's pretty good at that sort of thing."

"And WHAT made you assume that I said anything to her at all!"

He flips his direction so he's facing us, his greasy hair a frustrated mess, his stature overwhelming even to Draco.

"You don't exactly have a track record of saying the right thing, Nott," Draco states, refusing to be goaded.

"Yeah, well this time it wasn't me, Malfoy," he chuckles humourlessly.

"Then what? She just disappeared and wouldn't tell you why?"

Red is trailing up Theodore's face, anger buzzing through him ready to be released.

"She told me last night," he says slowly, unsettling me, "that her mum and dad have finally had it. They're splitting up. Done. And when I tried to comfort her, tried to be her friend, she told me to leave her alone. I stopped her, grabbed her and said she shouldn't be alone. That when my dad kept me and my mom left, he isolated me with such bitterness from his mistakes that I hated everybody and everything. She just started crying, she ran away. I haven't seen her since. You can probably fucking guess why I'm so worried."

My heart drops with sympathy for all these kids I never used to know, whose family lives seem so tragic and difficult when on the outside they seemed so uncaring, sturdy. All of their parents seem to be split up or unhappy. Pureblood prejudice seemed to bond these people together in my 13 year old mind. I used to think the Malfoy's were a dangerous entity, I saw them as a whole. I saw the Slytherin's as a whole, and I figured that's how they viewed everyone else; as enemies. It's odd now that they are all individual pieces I can distinguish.

I see Draco's expression mangle into some undecipherable emotion.
"Nott…why didn't you just tell me that?" His voice is hard, quieter.

"And what? Have you insult me about wanting to bone Millicent one more time Malfoy? "

"No! I would've told you you were being an idiot. If she wants to be alone, leave her be."

"What is she's hurting herself, what if she has nobody else but me right now?"

"Maybe she's not, maybe she needs some fucking space and wanted to cry without you seeing the tears," he retaliates, making me wonder why Draco feels so strongly about being solitary in times of despair. I would go mental with nobody to speak to.

"But she's been alone for so long. We all have! Look at you!" he shouts harshly. "Look how much better you are after two weeks of positive social interaction? I want to help. I want to be a friend!"

An embarrassed flush creeps over me that spreads to Draco, his face pink.

"Then be her friend and do as she says! She's going to be fine, it's Millicent, Nott. Millicent!"

"Why, because she's big she's supposed to be unbreakable, unemotional!?"

"No! But she's a Slytherin, pure-blooded girl. She has an iron will to survive, she just needs a moment to expose the sadness, and then compose herself."

"Not everybody is the damn same!" Theo is getting progressively louder. It's scary to witness. "What do you know about friendship anyways, huh? She hates you, by the way. Millicent. She fucking despises you!"

Oh no.

"Pansy dropped her in third year and she became a social outcast like me, she thinks it's because you never liked her. And don't say you do, it's a lie. This past month I've realized that we could've had each other since the beginning, somebody to get us through our stupid childhoods, but we didn't! I've apologized for not being friendly sooner. But it all comes down to you, doesn't it? She's made me realize what you are."

"And what am I?" Draco asks, offense dripping from his lips.

"You're a user."

"A user?"

Please do not let this happen, please, please, please.
I'm frozen to the spot, I have no idea what to do.

"Yeah, I never had a word for it, though we all could see through you. You take people and manipulate them to get what you want. I'm sick and fucking tired of you using me when you need me." His venomous words would've slapped him across the face if they had physical force.

"How am I using you, Theodore?" he asks seriously, catching Theo off guard with the proper use of his name. "I'm not insulting you when I poke fun at you, I thought you understood that by now. I'm teasing you, isn't that what friends do?"

"Friends? Like I said, what do you know about the word? We're not friends, Draco."

"Then what are we? You've shared with me more than you ever have this year, and I you. You told me what Millicent was going through when we came back from break? I don't get it, you think I would've told somebody? I'm trying so hard Nott, so fucking hard this year. I'm going through that exact same thing as she is, only everybody knows and it fucking blows, doesn't it? I get it, and you get it, why are you so hostile? I'm not exactly in a position to pass up somebody being nice to me."

God, no. Draco, wrong thing to say.

"Exactly,' You're not in a position to'!" he points out straight into his chest. "You don't actually want me as your friend, you were just surprised that everybody turned a blind eye at the beginning of the term. So you decided that it would be of use to you to be kind to me. You are the only guy here above age 15, I hated Graham, and that's why I decided to ignore our past, why I let go the grudge I had. The memories of the mockery you constantly made me when I didn't want to join your colony of assholes. You knew I was your reputable equal but you used your dad and your better looks to take everyone away from me. And you never apologized. Not once," he bites. "Still haven't."

Draco's face flickers with surprise, but he tries to keep it stone-faced until he's finished, cause it is clear he is not.

"Here I am being kind and you constantly act like I'm some annoyance, a thorn on your side. You dropped me when you got back to spend time with Hermione on weekends, and if you weren't with her, you'd be talking about her, or playing your stupid piano, you gave up on me because you had somebody else to make you feel like you weren't alone."

"Theodore, I never meant –"

"Don't 'Theodore' me, it's too late. Of course you never meant to make me feel like that, you idiot. You don't understand friendship, and you never will. It's not a trade, favour for favour. It's supposed to be that we have each other's backs no matter what, and you don't get that because of the way you thought you 'owed' me something for saving your life. You didn't owe me anything, but it would've been nice to feel like you actually like me instead of just tolerating me. You're just like everybody else in Slytherin, you know?"

I think Draco recognizes that Nott is channeling his anger at himself over to him, but that doesn't mean he's going to be unaffected. He's shaking, visibly affronted by words that I have no say in whether they're true or not. I'd wager they're more than true, but it's so harsh to hear your efforts are not enough.

"I wasn't trying to use you," Draco says, his voice controlled. "To be honest, I never liked you much at all before this year. I realize now you're a decent person, but it's difficult for me to open up to the idea of trust, especially with what I have done to you. And I did owe you one for saving me, you didn't owe me a thing before this year and yet you were not full of scorn like I expected everyone to be. You are one of the few who are not. Maybe Astoria is nice to me, maybe Graham is just a friendly person. But you don't see me trailing them trying to help, see them talking to me anymore. They don't care."

"What are you trying to say?" Theo asks with narrow eyes. "That I do?"

"I'm saying you're right, I used you. And I'm sorry."

"You're just saying that to look good in front of her." Theo looks at me with wild eyes, and I stare at the ground, feeling like I violated some sort of important confrontation in Draco's life. "You don't mean it!"

"Obviously I do!" Draco replies frustrated. "You care, otherwise you wouldn't be so upset right now!"

"Fuck you, Draco. I don't believe you. Why are you backing down so easy?" Theo asks curious, unfamiliar with this new breed of Slytherin.

"Because I give up," Draco replies strained. "I've given up trying to pretend like I'm a decent human being. I'm not, and I realize I fucked up badly, I constantly fuck up. But you know I really have been trying. And I've never had a real friend before, Pansy and Blaise were the closest thing and even they were as guarded as me."

Theo pauses, shaken by this confession.
He then sighs.

"Fucks sake, Malfoy, you have to stop being such a martyr. It's unattractive, and I'm sure Hermione is sick of it."

Draco snaps his head up at the jab.

"I don't feel sorry for you, not at all. Not when you don't realize that you need my kindness more than I need your forced version of it. You do not deserve my sympathy."

Though he's said worse things, Draco's wavering demeanour shows that this is the statement that's affected him the most.

"Then why bother still even associating with me? If you hate me so much, if Millicent hates me?"

"Good question."

He stalks away, leaving Draco standing alone, and I with a hand to my mouth, completely gobsmacked at this whole development. And while I'm upset that he verbally attacked Draco, Poor Theo. Poor Millicent.

This whole thing is just awful.

I'm stranded in silence, unable to come up with anything that's going to soothe, or help. I touch his arm to tell him without words I'm still here for him, but he doesn't react. Doesn't seem to feel anything.

"Draco, he was very angry, but I think once he's calmed down he's going to apologize. And I think you need to apologize too, for whatever offences you committed before now."

I almost think he's tuned me out, tuned the world out, until he shakes me away and turns to me, almost smiling to himself though his eyes are displeased.

"What good will that do? You heard him, he doesn't like me. He tried, I tried, and I didn't ace the test. He passed, I failed. And he's right, I've been acting like such a victim when really, I've been such an asshole my whole life. I don't deserve his kindness just like I constantly try to convince you I don't deserve yours."

"Yes you do, you're different. You understand your mistakes, you admit to them. You have to forgive yourself Draco, even if other people may not."

He glances at me, alarmed by what I've said.

"Do you forgive me? Honestly?"

"Yes," I reply without hesitation. "You also heard Theo say that positive social interaction has made you happier, maybe better. Don't try to make me run away if you think I'm a good thing to have around. If you made a mistake, than correct it. Don't give up because it doesn't go your way the first time."

"Maybe I want to give up, maybe I'm tired of trying to care when it gets me nowhere."

Why is he saying this? Doesn't he realize that Theo was really upset to the point of spouting out things just to make Draco feel anguish?

"Am I 'nowhere' then?"

He freezes, turns to me and glares. Like I've asked an idiotic question.

"I think you know the answer to that, Hermione. All I'm saying is up until last year I enjoyed my life more not giving a fuck about anybody but myself." He's crossing his arms and walking far too fast towards the Black Lake.

This comment stings a part of me I cannot name, but I know that he doesn't mean that. Because of what Ginny said.

I speed up my pace and catch up to him, refusing to be discouraged like he was moments ago.

"The problem Draco is that now you do care about people. You really love your mother, you are selfless in the love for your father. And maybe you don't have many friends, but you care about me. Theo doesn't see it because he just can't believe you'd change. He doesn't see it because you're obviously struggling with it." Draco doesn't stop so I grab his shoulder and make him look at me, in my eyes. "But you are trying, you have not given up. I don't know why you would even think that. Stop being rude and talk to me!"

I grab his face with both my hands, pulling it up from the ground. He's become defeated, his posture deflating.

"How do you know I care about you, Granger? How do you know, in your heart, that this isn't all just an act like everybody says?"

"Because it's so evident that you care," I repeat Ginny's words. "Because of the way you put up with everybody, no resistance, no arguments. Because you came to my house, you tried to apologise to my friends, and you talk to me in conversations I don't have with anybody else. You hexed Ron because of a crush."

"How do you know I'm not just really really good at all that? That this isn't some elaborate plan like you know I'm capable of?" I know he's not trying to piss me off anymore, he really wants the answer. I know he just wanted to be alone, but I can't let him sit here and think that he's worthless.

Theo was right, him being a martyr all the time is not attractive. I don't want somebody to 'save' I want somebody great to be with. I need him to get out of this funk, and it's going to be tough but he needs to feel happiness, needs to know there is life.

I let go of his cheeks and instead intertwine my fingers with his.

"You wouldn't have confessed all these things to me had you not been serious. Had it been a game. You wouldn't have cried, or brought me to Azkaban. You can tell me it would be convincing, that you would have, but I'm not an idiot, Draco. You are sad and the part of you that craves company is broken because you don't know how to use it, you're too proud. You needed somebody to open up to, and for some fault in our universe you chose me, and I reciprocated. For some fault in the universe, you proved me wrong. I really thought I'd see that you are the same person, was afraid of my attraction. But I see the side of you that nobody else seems to know. The ones that jokes, the one that smiles, doesn't smirk, the one that hides because it was taught to. And I like it. I like you, a lot. You can feel it when somebody loves you, when somebody wants to be around you. Every time I see you smile at me, I realize that you want me around. And I hope that you can feel my affection too, because I want the better version of you to stay. It's been a crazy school year, this past month has felt like an illusion. Getting to know you has been a trip. But I can tell you with certainty I've enjoyed the good parts, and I understand you from the bad. I just want you to be happy, Draco. I'm happy. Even with people hating us, I haven't felt discouraged. If we could pass that first hectic week, we can pass the rest. I've been upset at the reactions, but it's never once crossed my mind to end it. There's so much you've been through, that I have, but just like I realized, I want you to know there's more to life than pain. It would be nice if we could explore it together."

I squeeze his hands. He looks at me, eyes flowing with tears. Though it's not my intention, he is squeezing back and I know i've made the message clear.
I let him think out what he wants to say, and I want him to say anything by the stillness of the water, the lack of breeze.

Instead of a verbal response he answers by jerking me towards him and holding me tighter than he ever has, pulling me into the ground, underneath a willow tree where we've ended up, hidden from Hogwarts.

He's choking out words finally, making me want to cry along with him.
I will remain together.
"You make me happy too, Hermione," he says softly into my ear. "I'm sorry I said I enjoyed my life more last year, it's not true. I started to enjoy my life when I realized with you that I could finally be myself. I'm just so afraid of who I am, I'm scared of everybody though I don't show it. I'm afraid that people won't like me when I am not being rude. So I continue to be rude. They have such power against me, a bad one. Yours is refreshing, the way you treat me like I'm a human being, like i'm not just a name or a label. A friend, something I've rarely experienced. It's just overwhelming."

"I know, Draco, I get it. It's hard to say what you really feel when you constantly are under scrutiny, being judged." I stroke his hair, hoping my arms around his head will be comforting enough.

"I screwed up with Nott. He was right, I needed him more than he needed me. I guess I just have a hard time realizing that not everybody has an agenda, that I can trust people. Most people would've hated me, being in Slytherin, even if I didn't make my presence known. And I carry it with me now."

"Well don't. A lot of kids won't forgive you, but they aren't going to really matter in a year or so, are they?"

"What about Potter? Weasley? They'll matter. What if we're still together then?" He pulls me back so I can view him.

"Then give it another year. Look, Draco, one day they're going to realize they can tolerate you, and that day won't be soon, but it'll come. If you can try for me, I'll try for you. I want to help you feel okay, but I don't want that fact to allow you to wallow for more than necessary. I'd love for you to be confident, like I said. When people realize you don't care, not because you think you're better than them, because you are comfortable, they'll stop."

"Well that'll take a while," he pouts. I cut his moping off with a kiss.

"Shush. It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop," I say.

"Dumbledore?"

"Confucius," I correct him, and he breaks out into a grin. "And as a last note, I can tell by the way you kiss and touch me you're not pretending. It's too good to be fake."

"More like too good to be real."

"Smooth."
He starts to laugh as I wipe away the salty remnants of his gloom and he begins to snog me again, without haste.

Our embrace is deliberately slow, deliciously slow. He lays me down beside him and we hold each other just kissing for what feels like minutes.

It turns out to be hours as we both find out when we realize the sun is almost down.

"Got a bit carried away, didn't we?" I ask pulling away, my chest thumping still, my lips swollen and my clothes a dirty mess from the ground.

"Not at all," he replies, causing me to giggle.

"Wanna go back in then? It's nearly 8."

"Oh, I guess so. Think it may be a bit late to practice now? I guess that's why you wanted to see me initially?"

"You know what, I'm completely stress free right now, just leave me alone til tomorrow when I freak out and you'll wish I were never born."

"We'll practice in class before we go, Granger. Don't worry. We know it like it's been tattooed into our fingers and vocal chords."

"And the stress of performing into a crowd of hate?"

"Psh, been there done that, won the award. And I always came out on top in my mind. Let's see if I can come out on top for real this time."

"See, positivity, you have it!" I poke him in the ribs and he smirks.

"More like ego. Fake it til you make it I suppose." He clutches me again and pecks my lips. "Thanks for being here by the way. For me. And not leaving like I'd hoped you would."

"I know being alone is your way of dealing but this time I didn't think it would help."

"Well I appreciate it…I hope Nott found her."

I press my lips to him one last time, letting it linger; "I know he did. If not he, she found him. You should go find out."

He agrees, we stand up, and walk leisurely back to the school, going in through the doors towards the dungeon.

I'm about to say goodbye at the entrance to his dorm when we hear, "Draco!", with surprise.

It's Theo. And he's with her, safe and sound.

He's looking a bit mortified at ending up where he is, right near us, inescapable because they have to go past to go in. She looks ill at ease, no doubt haveing been recounted the fight.

"Nott," Draco nods calmly, and I can tell he'll be fine at least for tonight.

"Er – about earlier -"

Draco puts a hand out. "No, just- just leave it. And if you can't, leave it for tonight. I don't want to talk about it, you know what I said and how I feel, it still stands. Just go inside, I'll see you there."

Nott has no answer, so he just complies without opposition.

They go in, muttering 'Merlin' to the wall to dissolve it, and look a bit sheepish.
The tension leaves with them and I get one last embrace before going back to the common room I'm allowed into.

"See you tomorrow, Hermione."

He grins at me and I feel, walking away, as if there was some kind of lateral shift today. Though I wouldn't be able to give it a title if I tried.

Right now I try to enjoy the feeling of butterflies bouncing through my stomach because tomorrow they will be dead, and my body will be hollowed out with anxiety, as it does before every test I've ever had.

It feels good to know that Draco is happy with me, that being with me has had a positive impact. And I'm glad he knows he makes me feel nice too.

The butterflies presence, I understand, as I make it to the Fat Lady, are here because of the intense elation I feel.

We're falling in love, it's a certain thing.
I can almost taste it, I hope to feel it soon.