The great hall was alive with noise and movement, as boisterous students filled up the hall, happy to finally be escaping homework and classes. I stood in the entrance door and stared at them, after all these were the people whose lives I would be saving. Despite or perhaps because of Dumbledore's fears regarding us being late, we were in fact right on time.
Professor McGonagall's eyes met mine, I remembered the hug she had given me. And for a moment I wanted to fly across the hall and beg her to make this all go away. But she couldn't do anything to help me anymore.
Turning away, I scanned the Gryffindor table for my friends. Ginny spotted me and waved, I pursed my lips as I walked towards them. Harry wasn't here.
"Hey 'Mione, where you been, Ginny says you weren't in the dormitory?" Thankfully the food had yet to be served. So Ron was only talking instead of spraying those near to him with half chewed food. I looked at the red head boy in front of me. he was still too tall for the rest of his body, still too prideful and eager to make a name for himself. But he had changed over the years, he had grown as a person but he had yet to become the man I imagined he could be. Did I really love him or was it simply the idea of him, the romance of being able to tell people I had married my teenage sweetheart? I gave myself a mental shake, it didn't matter anymore.
"I have something important to tell you all, where's Harry?"
Ron started to reply but shrugged when Dumbledore stood up to start speaking. I wanted to tell him to carry on, that Dumbledore would understand. But the hall was too quiet with everyone listening to the headmaster. The man they all trusted to look out for them and protect them - well apart from the death eater wannabes. Except, I wonder how they would all feel to find out he was willing to sell them into slavery if it would help the cause?
There was something about the great hall which made it seem magical. Even in a world filled with magic this room was special. It had nothing to do with the roof being spelled to reflect the sky. It was more that every breath of air seemed to be infused with magic, candles burned just a little brighter and spells worked just a little better. Hogwarts a History attributed it simply to people being overcome by the history of the space but I believe that, you could feel in your bones that there was something different here. I had been planning to research more fully the history of the great hall for my NEWT in History of Magic. I doubted now that I would ever have the chance to research anything at all, somehow I couldn't see Bellatrix Black letting me read, let alone spend long hours studying.
Dumbledore's slightly horse and wistful voice flowed over the assembled students. The theme of his speech was much the same as it had been last year after Cedric's death. Except this time there was no doubt of the truth, a war existed just outside the castle walls but few of my peers seemed to truly understand what that meant. Still I suspected it wouldn't be long before they learnt that lesson, Voldemort had never spared children before.
I started laughing when Dumbledore began to talk about the sacrifices that would be asked of us to defeat the darkness, and how we shouldn't shy away from doing the right thing even if it was hard. People turned to stare at me as raucous sound escaped me. My friends looked at each other bewildered, and I clamped my hand over my mouth in an effort to stem the tide of laughter. I was grateful when Ginny hit me with a 'slienco' spell because I just couldn't stop. Somewhere along the line my now silent laughter morphed into silent sobs and I buried my face against Ginny's neck.
"Hermione the speech is over, I'm going to take the spell off you ok?" Ginny's voice was caring and I was reminded that she was the only female friend I actually had. Although I was a lot closer to Luna these days. My head was still buried in the crook of Ginny's neck, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to move. Finally I forced myself to sit up straight and nod my assent. Ginny's soft voice muttered the counter curse and I cleared my throat experimentally.
"Sorry about making a mess of your robes."
"It's ok I'm much more worried about you than the robes." Her kind brown eyes watched me with concern.
"We all are" said Neville as Ron nodded emphatically beside him, face already too stuffed with food to allow speech.
"Dumbledore, he." I stalled. Taking a deep breath I tried again. "I am being sent away. I can't tell you why or where. You can write to me but I might not get your letters."
"VOT? Hen 'u aving?" The words from Ron's mouth were accompanied by several unidentifiable articles of food. We all stared at him with identical puzzled faces as we attempted to interpret just what he had said. A pained expression filled Ron's face as his throat worked furiously. "I said when are you leaving?"
"As soon as the feast ends and really Ron, you have to learn to eat like a civilised person instead of a half starved brute." He flushed mildly but his face had a defiant set to it and I knew in the end it would change nothing. Still, scolding Ron actually made me feel a lot better, more normal.
"Why aren't you sure if you'll get our replies?" Neville looked perplexed at the idea of the owls failing in their duty as he spooned mash potato on his plate.
"Well, my post will be going through an intermediary, and they might not always pass it on." My voice sounded calm and I mentally patted myself on the back.
"Someone's going to be screening your mail?" Ginny sounded alarmed at the prospect and I tried to smile at her. Ginny, paid attention and she had to know something was seriously wrong after my little breakdown I didn't want her to worry about me if I could help it.
"I'm not sure if they'll be reading it or not, but under the circumstances it's the only way I can get my mail." She still looked worried and I started putting some chicken breast on my plate just to give myself something to do. I wasn't actually hungry, but there was no way of knowing when Bellatrix would choose to feed me, so I knew I had to eat something.
"Well when are you getting back? Are you still going to be able to come to ours in August?" Ron demanded, thankfully this time with an empty mouth.
I paused and looked down at my plate, the small slices of chicken looked lost on the expanse of empty porcelain. "I'm not sure when I'll be back. I might not even come back to Hogwarts." Silence greeted my announcement and I looked up to see the three of them frozen. Ginny recovered first, something close to panic radiating from her.
"But you have to come back, you have two more years and you're not of age."
I shrugged, as my fork pushed the food around my plate. "I turn 17 in September."
The rest of the feast passed by in near silence for our group. I kept hoping Harry would appear so that I could say goodbye to him. But when Luna appeared – Ginny had beckoned her over to our table and she told us Harry was busy trying to come to terms with Sirius's death. She took news of my departure surprisingly hard, hugging me and telling me she would write as often as she could. I let myself feel buoyed up by the knowledge that I had friends who cared for me. At least I would have something to look forward to each week in my new life.
All too soon the pudding vanished from the table and Dumbledore was dismissing everyone. My stomach seemed to sink and the few bites of chicken I had managed to eat, turned into rocks which were rolling around. Feeling the need to move I stood up. The others quickly followed suit and I hugged them while trying not to think of what was to come.
I felt eyes boring into the back of my head, turning round I saw Snape standing just a couple of feet away. I expected him to sneer at me but he simply nodded instead. "I have to go guys tell Harry I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. And, well, coming to Hogwarts, it was the best thing that ever happened to me but it would have been nothing without you as my friends" Ron looked on the verge of tears I think he finally realised I might not come back. Neville was hugging Luna and I thought the normally dreamy girl might be crying.
Ginny though smiled at me weakly before giving me one last hug "Whatever's going on, do what you have to do and come back safe ok?"
"I'll try." If i stayed any longer i would never leave. So I turned my back on my friends, not sure if I would ever see them again and walked to Snape.
"I'm guessing you're here to make sure I make my way to the headmaster's office." I couldn't help the tiredness in my voice.
The slick haired potions master regarded me a moment before nodding. In a swirl of black robes he turned stalking towards the exit, and I hurried to keep up.
"You have really decided to go through with it haven't you?" We were away from the great hall now, and the corridors were empty. Still I was surprised that he decided to speak to me. Normally he was more interested in mocking or ignoring me.
"Yes. So whatever potion you have ready to force down my throat isn't needed." Tired, tired, tired. Where had all that anger and energy I had before gone to?
"The headmaster believes Bella will likely kill you within a short space of time. However I believe he is mistaken. Bella has staked a claim on you with the other death eaters, and the Dark Lord has endorsed it. You are not to be killed on sight but turned over unharmed to her. Dolohov is still twitching from the cruico she inflicted upon him for nearly killing you. She is an obsessive individual, but she guards her possessions well. I doubt she would have staked such a claim on you if she intended your life to be short lived."
"What do you mean?"
He stopped suddenly and I barely managed to avoid stumbling as i tried to do the same. Looking around I realised we were in front of the gargoyle.
"What I mean Miss Granger is that Bellatrix ensured her husband was killed for his role in the ministry debacle while escaping unpunished. That she has shown a willingness to betray the Dark Lord in order to gain you. And has taken steps which mean, whichever side ultimately win this war, you will belong to her. Those are not the actions of someone who intends to do away with you quickly. Despite your poor choice in friends there have been moments that hint at you being intelligent. Should you manage to throw away your foolish Gryffindor notions of right and wrong. Then perhaps you will manage to display some semblance of ability to please her, in which case you may well live longer than you expect.
"Do not mistake me Granger, I have no doubt your life will be hard and perhaps you will come to wish for a quick death. But there is at least a chance you will live through everything. And while you are alive, then the Dark Lords most loyal lieutenant has reason to supply Dumbledore with information that will save lives."
Stunned I stared at the man before me, while not a pep talk in the most conventional sense it did make me feel a little stronger. He was right I could live through it and I could help keep my friends alive.
"Thank you."
He nodded before giving the password and sweeping on to the moving staircase. As we reached the door to Dumbledore's office he paused. "Bella is prone to fits of temper, her sister is often the only one who can calm her down. Normally by singing." and with that he wrenched open the door and marched inside. Biting my lip I followed him in wishing I had agreed to the singing lessons my parents had wanted me to take.
The inside of Dumbledore's office was crowded. Fudge stood twirling his bowler hat. Tonks and Kingsley stood off to one side I nodded to them and they nodded back, Tonks looking vaguely ill.
The minister glanced in my direction "Ah good, well now that... Well, now we're just waiting on Miss Black to arrive." The sooner he was out of office the better, at least everyone else had the decency to acknowledge my existence.
Snape and Dumbledore exchanged a look and Snape shook his head slightly. "If that will be all headmaster, I have students to attend to."
"Of course Severus." And with that Snape swept out of the office as dramatically as he'd entered. "Hermione would you like to read the revised contract?"
Nodding I walked over to his desk and read through it again. It was identical, except there was now a paragraph detailing my 'rights' - to one visit a year and an hour's letter writing a week. I sighed with relief at seeing that parchment and ink was to be provided to me. I was grateful Dumbledore had thought to write that in, I had no doubt Bellatrix would have delighted in giving me an hour to write but denying me the tools to do so.
The fire place burst into green flames and a dark figure rose out of them. Soot and grey smoke seemed to swirl before finally the corset clad form of Bellatrix Black emerged. My heart was beating double time, and my body felt shaky. I had the oddest feeling I should have dressed better for this.
"Hello pet" She smirked and I knew what she wanted, I didn't want to fight it in front of these people. I didn't want the betrayal of them forcing me to sign. And I suppose if I'm honest I feared how much she might hurt me. I'd met Neville's mum and dad, and in no way did i want to end up like them. So I made myself say the words.
"Hello mistress." They were barely more than a whisper but everyone heard.
Bellatrix smiled "Such a good wittle pet." Her arm went around me, pulling me close. Her body was pressed against my back, and I felt her head rest on my shoulder. It felt oddly comforting to be held – even if she was the reason for me wanting reassurance and my body relaxed against her. But then she breathed in my ear "good girl" and I shuddered violently wanting to escape.
"Miss Black would you like to sign first?" Dumbledore's cool voice seemed to break her hold on me and suddenly her arms were sliding away.
"I'd love to." Bellatrix glided to the desk, smiling as she took the phoenix feather quill offered. Looking back at me she winked before signing the parchment.
"And if you could also sign the copy." Fudge sounded nervous and I wondered just how such a spineless twerp ended up minister for magic. "And now you girl." Fudge nodded his head towards me. Kingsley gripped his wand tightly as he glared at the minister.
I stared at the mahogany desk. Bella stood next it besides Dumbledore and her eyes watched me intently, reminding me again of a wolf watching its prey. My feet seemed leaden and impossible to move. God I wish I had asked for another drink of whiskey. I noticed Dumbledore discreetly draw his wand and I knew if I didn't move now he would force me to. Maybe it was stupid, but I wanted to face this with dignity, walking to meet my fate not dragged into it. This would be my last act as a free person, it would say everything about who I was.
I lurched forward with numb feet. My mouth felt desperately dry and I licked my lips. My hand trembled as I took the quill out of the ink pot and I prayed that no one noticed. Screwing up what courage I had left, I signed my name on the line besides Bellatrix's. There was a small ink blot where I had hesitated before signing, but other than that it looked just like any other time I had signed my name. It didn't look like anything life changing. Moving to the side slightly I signed the copy before placing the quill on the table.
My hand wasn't trembling anymore, my muscles sagged and my skin felt lose, it was over. As if to highlight that Bellatrix cackled and dragged me next to her. Her arm stayed round me, the heat of it seemed to sink into me, branding me with a mark that could never be removed.
Fudge heaved a sigh of relief and beamed at Dumbledore. Just looking at him turned my stomach. Focusing instead on the Aurors standing behind him, I realised that Kingsley was glaring at me as if in disgust. My spine stiffened, and my eyes narrowed, how dare he look at me like that? As if i had a choice in this, i was doing what i had to, and he thought he had the right to judge me. The sanctimonious bastard.
Dumbledore was signing the contract now and I sent one last glare at Kingsley, sniffed and stuck out my chin. i wasn't going to be intimated by him. Bella's arm squeezed me and she chuckled, her hot breath once more brushing against my skin as she leaned in to whisper in my ear.
"Does my pet not like the nasty Auror? Hmmm would my little kitty like me to make him scream?" Fingernails scraped gently against my stomach and I was grateful for the protection my robes provided. I shook my head trying to find a clear space to think.
The nails suddenly dug in painfully hard, I cried out as they slid through fabric and stabbed into my skin. Four tiny daggers, digging into the delicate flesh of my stomach, I squirmed trying to break her hold. But she surrounded me, her body against mine, and her arm strong and unyielding wrapped around me. The only way out was to go forward which would merely push them further into my stomach.
The rest of the room had turned to see what was happening. Fudge looking anxiously at Dumbledore for guidance. "I asked you a question mudblood." her voice was the hiss of the night wind, cold and menacing. I struggled for words and Dumbledore spoke before I could.
"Bellatrix, we are still signing the contract now is not the time for games"
"She has to learn proper manners don't you muddy?" Her fingers curled, her fingernails moving and tearing inside me.
"yyyyes mistress." I swallowed the urge to hit her, to fight back, the fingers of my wand hand flexing desperately. Her hand moved again and I screamed.
"Yes what?" I should have known she would want a full sentence, would want to drag out my pain.
"Yes mistress, I need to learn proper manners." My voice was strained but I was relieved that my voice didn't break.
"Good girl." I made a strangled scream as she pulled her fingernails out of my flesh. "Now I asked you a question."
"No. I don't want you to make him scream - mistress."
I wanted to press my hand against my bleeding skin but Bellatrix's was already there, her fingers felt so soft, as they gently stroked my aching stomach. Her fingers dipped into the small wounds and a short whimper slipped past my lips. Soft hair trickled my neck, "Poor wittle muddy. I'll leave the nasty Auror alone."
The rest of the room ignored us, except for Kingsley, as the powerful men signed my life away. It was strange, but in that moment I hated them more than I did Bellatrix. She was a monster but at least she wasn't pretending. Kinsley's intense eyes stayed on me, and I tried to ignore him as he walked forward to witness the document. My eyes skittered away from the sight and settled on Tonks instead. Her heart shaped face was lined with curiosity, and her head tilted to the side as she stared at her aunt.
"My dear niece has never seen me before, except in photographs. She's wondering if perhaps the things she has heard from Andromeda are right, and that there is some light in my heart." The whispered words were heavily mocking. For a split second I wondered at her comments before it registered that she was using legilimency to read Tonks' thoughts.
Was she reading my thoughts? Of course she was, why wouldn't she be, I was her property now. Bitter anger welled in my stomach. Was I meant to ask permission to think?
Laughter fluttered against my ear. "Do you think I'm the only one in your head right now kitten? Dumbledore is always scanning the minds of those anywhere near him. But don't worry, you won't have to ask permission to think. I'll just punish you if I don't approve of your thoughts."
Tonks was signing and I felt a rising fear of what was to come. One more flourish of a quill and my life belonged to Bellatrix. A mad urge to try and escape briefly rose and died. Tonks finished signing the copy and it was done.
I was owned property.
A/N: Sorry for the length of time its taken for me to update.