The horrible flash backs from when I held Jt in my arms, came when I saw this girl Abby hold my son. The pain in her eyes was evident. I stilled as if history was replaying its self. It was my fault, my son tried to kill him self again. Jt would be so disappointed in me. What happened to me, one day I am this passionate person and the next I'm turning the boy I carried for nine months away. I was so sick of what I did. He had to live. I had Danny give me a ride to the hospital. I picked up my cell phone and called a few people I haven't spoken to in sixteen years.

"Hey Emma?"

They told me to say in the waiting room while they looked him over. I looked around, was this the same spot his father died. Sam promised me, no more suicide attempts. No more trying to kill him self. He had to of just snapped, I mean he wouldn't do that to me again. I paced until Liberty came, my brother rushed over to me and hugged me. I cried into his shoulder.

"Shh, kid. He will be alright. Then I will kill him." He said trying to lighten the mood.

"No you won't" He looked at me.

"Yes I will, he now has broken your heart twice. Why do you stay with him?" My brother never understood. He was always the father figure once mine walked out.

"I love him. Tyler you might not understand but he knows what I am going through. We tell each other everything. He was there with me when father turned me away." He sighed and hugged me.

"Then I will threaten but next time I will kill." I smiled into his shirt. I saw a bunch of people come in and talk to Liberty. My brother and I walked over to them. I noticed Peter.

"Hey Abby how are you holding up?" The blonde boy said.

"I will be ok." I said putting on my poker face. Liberty gave introductions, there was a Spinner, Emma, Manny and Mia. I smiled getting to meet the Mia Jones, Sam did say he would get me to meet her. We sat around and waited until the doctor came out.

"Is there any immediate family?" I wasn't his wife so no. Liberty stepped forward.

"He is my son." The doctor nodded. I was surprised the conviction in her voice.

"He has lost a lot of blood. If you hadn't found him when you did, he would be dead. He is in stable condition right now." I sighed.

"Can we see him doctor?" He nodded.

"Only two at a time." I stood and everyone looked at me.

"Come on Abby, lets go see our man." She placed her arm around me and we walked to see Sam. He was pale. I went over and held his hand.

"You said you wouldn't leave me. You broke your promise Sam." Tears fell down my face onto our clasped hands. His eyes fluttered open.

"I didn't mean to Abs. I wasn't thinking." I looked at him fierce.

"Damn straight you weren't thinking." I said angry trying to hide the tears I felt.

"Don't be mad." He said with those eyes that I get lost in.

"How can I not be, if I hadn't found you. They said you would of died. Sam I need you, you can't ever do this again. Or I wont be coming back. I can't keep doing this. You have my heart Samuel don't break it." I said looking into his eyes.

"I'm sorry Abby. I really do love you." I smiled a sad smile.

"You got to prove it now. Sam you scared me to death, you weren't responding and god there was blood everywhere." I saw Liberty walk around and gently caress her sons face.

God how stupid was I to slit my wrist. I do have to make it up to Abby. She knows what my mother feels. I did the same thing that happened to my father. Not getting stabbed but I came close to being lost in front of those who love me. I felt my mothers hand gently caress my face. A feeling I had wanted to know for years.

"Sam I am so sorry I sent you away. I had no idea." I tried to smile but I couldn't.

"How did you get an idea." She laughed and it warmed my heart hearing that laugh.

"A little lady that loves you very much, knocked the sense in me." I smiled looking over to Abby.

"She has a tendency to do that." I heard my lovers laugh, a thing I will never tire of.

"Damn straight." I smiled, I felt tired but I held strong to feel this moment a minute an hour longer.

"Sam we will talk once you get out of here. I think I need to call Kathy to come get you." She said. I looked to Abby.

"No need, I have her and I wont break my promise again. I will tell Kathy when I get back." I spoke of maturity far past my act.

"Sam." I looked my mother into the eyes.

"No. Mom, I made a mistake, just like my father. You have got to forgive and let me do it in my own terms. I am not my father, I may be like him but I will take care of what I need to." She looked sad.

"He tried Sam it was my fault, if he had more time then we probably would have been able to keep you. But I was in denial, I was class president and they couldn't be pregnant. I waited five months before I told your father. He was looking out for me. Don't be angry with him. He had his faults yes but the mistake of adoption was on me. He had no rights to sign you away. Only I did. I couldn't raise you on my own, with out Jt's help. I needed Jt more than I ever let on. It was my fault. You had to pay yes, but look at that woman sitting next to you. If I didn't give you away. She wouldn't be in your life. Be grateful for what you have." I looked my mother in my eyes.

"I always have been grateful. Still doesn't take the sting away of knowing your parents gave you up." She sighed and sat on the edge of my bed.

"I don't suppose it does. It may never go away once your questions are answered. There is always the pain in our life that we can never rid of. Yours is your parents giving you up, even though it was for the best. Mine is loosing your father and forgetting how to love, live. Give me time Sam, I am a quick learner." I saw emotion in my mothers eyes and I made me want to be overcome with emotion. All I could do was nod. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead before I shot my good arm out and hugged her. I cried on my mothers shoulders. I felt Abby let go of my hand and I broke the hug. I looked over to the door.

"Abby, don't leave." She just stood there, I smiled she was trying to hide her tears.

"Babe come here." She turned and shot me a fiery look from the nickname.

"Abigail." I said looking at her pointedly. My mother went over to her and said a few words to her before she left. Abby came over and I noticed she had mascara lines down her cheeks. I rubbed them with my thumb.

"Since when do you wear makeup?" I asked gently.

"Thought I'd try it out see if you noticed." I gave a short laugh.

"I am a guy, I wouldn't notice the first time. Maybe by the third." I smiled.

"Oh gee that makes me feel so much better, you don't notice me even though I am with you for close to a year." I held her face in my hand.

"I haven't seen it at all, except maybe our first date." She smiled.

"You are a confusing man." She said sitting next to me.

"But I am your man. I am still right?" I said panicking a bit.

"Yes for now, but you can be replaced." She said it so serious I began to panic.

"Who?" Then she smiled and I knew she was joking.

"Is it to early to marry you Abby?" She looked shocked.

"Was that a...a." I smiled.

"No it wasn't, still wondering though." She looked thoughtful.

"Yeah it still is, were young yet. If we can make it through freshman year of college then I will consider it." I sighed. I really did love her.

"I'll take that, I guess." She looked at me.

"Its best your going to get." She leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"Back to probation?" She shook her head before she kissed me softly. She noticed I was drifting off.

"Get some sleep Sam."

"Lay with me?" She sighed before she laid down next to me and I held her in my arms. She fell asleep quickly on my shoulder before I fell asleep.