AN. I'm onna roll! Last chapter D= Rated M for a reason!
I'm walking across the foyer to the door when a tall blonde figure stands in front of it.
'What do you want Ash?' I snap.
'He's gone. Aoife, love, he's gone. He's left, and you can stay… Please stay?'
'What do you mean he's gone? I ask quietly.
'He left about an hour ago. If your going after him, I'm coming with you, you're the best bit of excitement I've had in a long time' he says with a small chuckle.
'I'm so happy I amuse you' it's meant to be said, out loud. Not whispered.
He's gone? He's gone. He's gone! He's…
I can't breathe! I've found something that hurts more and Goddess does this hurt. My knees give in and Ash is beside me in a flash wrapping his arms around me while I'm gasping for air.
'It's there love, it's there. Just calm down a little and you'll be okay. I promise your gonna be okay, the pain numbs after a while. We'll help each other. Please don't leave me on my own around these loved up saps!'
After a second, I start laughing. I feel like my insides are going through a shredder and now I'm in hysterics. What is it with me and laughing at inappropriate times?
'Come on love. You need some sleep'
Ash carries me to my room and puts me in bed and I'm asleep in minutes.
It's been a month. A fucking month and nothing. Not even Alex or Ollie have heard from him! And I swear (if he isn't already dead) if I ever get my hands on him I'll bloody kill him!
I'm a wreck. I eat fine, I sleep fine. I smile, talk, laugh. I fit in. A month and this place is the first home I've ever had. But it's not enough, something's missing and I'm pretty sure I know what it is.
I don't want it
It's been two months now. It isn't just me and Sam and Lily any more, everyone here is like a family and I love it. It's unreal how easy it is just to be you. But I can't because I honestly have no clue who the hell I am anymore.
My insides aren't being shredded anymore. Ash was right when he said the pain numbed, what I wasn't expecting was everything to become numb. I'm never sad, or angry, or hurt or even happy anymore. I just always seem to be tired, even when I sleep. I think lack of emotion is exhausting me if that is even possible.
How did it get like this?
Three months, I think… Sam and Lily are so, so, sickeningly, unbearably happy. I can't even be around them anymore. And I know they try, but they're happy and I'm not and I find myself resenting them. Which I resent even more. Lily finally freaked out at me the other day. Needless to say, I haven't left bed since. I don't know when I will. When everything stops being so numb and I wake up smiling. Yeah… I'll just do that…
He's gone? He's gone. He's gone! He's never coming back…
It's been three months since I saw her and I've had a new girl almost every night. All blonde, all small, all human. Never enough. Not once have I enjoyed it and that just makes me angry. All I seem to be is angry these days. I can't sleep, can barely eat; I have too much emotions running around. I'm a fucking vampire.
It's not supposed to be like this.
It's taken me three months to realise that I can't live without her, so I get as far away as possible, until I find myself in a bar. In the freezing cold arsehole of nowhere.
What am I doing here? I should leave
I'm drinking. Vampires rarely drink and I've drank a lot these past few months. It numbs me. When I'm sober I feel like all my nerve endings are raw. I feel every little thing intensified. I knew her 3 days and every time I picture her in my head it's crystal, almost as if she's right in front of me. Which makes me drink some more. I'm becoming a pathetic excuse for a life form and I don't care.
I shouldn't be here.
I'm currently sitting at a table with my arm around some pathetic excuse for a blonde human, who has about as much wit as a drunk possum, picturing all the ways I could easily kill her, when someone walks in, they're short blonde hair half hidden under a beanie hat.
Ash sits at the table next to me and stares at the girl under my arm. Without a word she gets up and walks out of the bar. Ash turns to me and stares pointedly. I just hold up the near empty bottle of scotch and offer him some which he declines with the shake of a head.
'You better be here to tell me something worthwhile, that was my dinner you just sent walking' I snap at him.
'Liar. You haven't killed a single human your whole life. Your notorious for it. Me and Quinn used to take the piss out of you all the time behind you back. And you couldn't kill a human. Not now, not knowing that someone could just as easily do it to Aoif…'
'Don't. Talk. To. Me. Not about her.' I grit out.
'You hurt her. In so many ways, you cant even begin to wonder.' He counters.
'She'll be fine. She'll get over me in no time and settle down with some human lawyer and have a load of human babies' I drunkenly ramble out.
'She wont be fine and neither will you! She hasn't left bed in a week! By the smells of you, you haven't left a bar in that long either!' he shouts as I glare at him.
He lowers his voice 'Come back with me? Come home with me now.'
I shouldn't be here…
It's midnight and I'm looking out the window of my huge room at the stars and I don't even realise that I'm crying. Something feels different. It doesn't help that this is the first time I've cried about this whole sorry situation, but something in the atmosphere… it feels different.
It's the first thing I've felt in months and I don't even know what it is! Finally, I kick back the covers, mentally shouting at myself for being so pathetic, and get out of bed. There's no light in my room aside from the stars and the moon so I can barely see in front of me so I walk around carefully incase I kick something, when I collide with something soft. I'm vaguely reminded of colliding with Chris in the forest when I ran away. But it cant be Chris.
He's gone.
I sigh against the thing I walked into, and don't even notice that it's wrapped its arms around me, gently, protectively. My forehead falls forward and touches his. Colours dance in front of my eyes and my ears ring and…
He's... he's here!
I let out a gasp and instantly his lips connect with mine. I'm breathing; I'm getting more oxygen than I've had in months.
He's here? Is this a dream?
He pulls away gently, his forehead still against mine.
'I'm here. I'm here. I'm so sorry I left. I'm so sor…'
My lips cover his, never wanting this to end. Both of our shields are down but I don't think either of us care.
I want this. I want this. I need this!
Was that him or me?
His lips over mine suddenly become more urgent as he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him. I pull away and gasp a little but instead of walking away, he immediately captures my mouth again and deepens the kiss. We stand like that for a few more minutes before he lowers me onto the bed. I hadnt even realised I was tugging at his shirt for the past five minutes until he raises his arms and lets me remove it. He's so warm. I never noticed before but his skin is so warm, so inviting. His hands are suddenly on my hips and I gasp again and arch my body towards him. He takes advantage of this and quickly removes my nightdress. Before I know it ive tugged his jeans off and one of his hands are sliding over my stomach and down. I cant cope with all this teasing and it seems neither can he. He hitched my leg over his hip and enteres me quickly. I moan loudly but he covers it with his mouth and startes moving. He quickens his pace and I can feel my climax coming closer and closer, his mouth is suddenly at my ear, and he's whispering how much he loves me. He loves me, over and over and over again and it finishes me off with a loud gasp. He comes moments after, after I told him I love him too.
I love him, im inlove with him.
And I know I said that the day I woke up smiling would be the day I got out of bed again, but spending a full day in bed with him just seemed so, so much better.
AN. Kay even I know the ending to that was crap, but remember, first fic, and it sorta worked lol. Thankyou all who reads and appreciates. Let me know what you think? And goodbye! *bows* xxxxxx