Strangeways, Here We Come

PMS…

Remus always had trouble sleeping when the full moon approached. After a night of tossing and turning and getting no rest whatsoever he was considerably irate, and entered the kitchen of Grimmauld Place with a grumble.

"Ooh, watch out!" Sirius cautioned melodramatically, accustomed to his moods. "Moony's on the warpath!"

He shot the man a warning glare and sat down. Tonks appeared not to notice, and pushed a plate towards him. "Here you go! You slept in, so I saved you some of Molly's breakfast," she chirped.

"Slept in? That would require sleeping to actually have taken place," he scoffed petulantly. Then looking at the greasy eggs and bangers, his queasy stomach lurched. "And I don't feel like eating right now."

After he bit out those words he immediately wanted to chastise himself for being so short with her. He began to apologize, but Sirius spoke first. "Now Moony, don't take your pre-transformation temper out on us, mate!"

He tried to speak in a hurt tone, but Remus knew better – after all, he'd had years of exposure to his lycanthropic tetchiness and was well used to it by now. Tonks, on the other hand, was not – but as he glanced over at her, all he saw was amusement.

"Well, looks like somebody's got PMS!" she exclaimed gleefully.

"Excuse me?" he wondered in astonishment, while Sirius snorted into his mug. "I have no such thing! I would have thought you'd noticed by now, Nymphadora, that I am certainly not a woman."

He was thankful she continued before Padfoot had the chance to interject with an inappropriate response to that comment. "I'm not talking about my monthly problem," she laughed, eyes twinkling merrily. "I'm talking about yours – you have Premoonstrual Syndrome!"

Her cousin began to laugh uproariously while Remus could only stare at her in disbelief. "Now really," he said exasperatedly. "I hardly think my condition is something to poke fun at."

"Who's poking fun?" she questioned, eyeing him earnestly. "I'm sympathizing! Believe me, I know how you feel."

"Oi, do we really need to go into more detail about this?" Sirius winced with the typical discomfort of males when women discussed their… feminine issues.

A portion of Remus shared in that uneasiness, but a larger part of him was curious. "Actually, I think I'd like to know what she means," he replied sceptically, attempting to mask the bitterness in his voice – she was only trying to cheer him up, after all. "You're aware of what it's like to turn into a snarling beast once a month?"

"Absolutely!" she quipped. "Me and every other woman."

He sighed. "Really Tonks, it's not the same."

"It's actually quite similar!" she insisted, not at all phased by his grumpiness or Sirius burying his face in his hands with a perturbed moan. "Well, regarding symptoms, at least. Do you have trouble sleeping?"

"Yes…"

"Headaches? Bloating?"

"Yes…"

"Irritability? Wait, that one's obvious. Trouble concentrating, muscle pain?" Then she smirked brazenly. "Breast tenderness?"

"I don't believe that last one applies," he told her dryly, and then closed his eyes in defeat. "All right, you've made your point. You obviously have some empathy for my symptoms."

"Personally," Padfoot stated as he stood to escape the awkward conversation, "I'd take a werewolf at his time of the month over a woman at hers! In fact, I'm amazed the two of you haven't ripped each other to shreds if you're PMSing at the same time…"

Tonks watched the man leave the room and then shuffled closer to Remus, running a hand up and down his arm. "At least it's not all bad…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there's our increase in… er, libido. Not exactly a burden, is it?" she grinned, and it only widened as Remus' cheeks flushed.

"No, I don't suppose it is," he had to agree, amazed to have found a bright spot to his plight – until he heard Sirius shout from the corridor, "Remus is a randy werewolf!"

His blush grew deeper and he muttered, "That was Firewhiskey in his mug, wasn't it?"

"Of course."

He shook his head, but couldn't help chuckling deviously when she pointed out, "Don't worry about him, Remus – he's the one who'll have to deal with two PMSing individuals, after all."

Weighing his friend's penchant for annoying others versus his monthly ill humour, he was forced to sombrely declare, "I doubt he stands a chance."

Well, we've got menstrual cycles and lunar cycles… Now if only the cycle of me updating and you reviewing was as constant, eh? ;)

Toodles,
- ish -